Monday, February 20, 2012

Celebrity Apprentice Needs To Get Real


Did anyone watch Celebrity Apprentice last night? Faced with looking for the remote control and getting up or watching two hours of Celebrity Apprentice, I gave in to the inevitable fact that I am lazy and just settled in for two hours of the show which could have been an hour. Introducing people does not mean you need to stretch out a show to two hours. That took five minutes. I realize that making it an extra hour gives Donald Trump more air time and more time to make himself look like a complete ass when he is basically telling Dayana Mendoza that her boyfriend is an ass because he has no money and that he will never be able to keep her because he does not have a jet. I'm surprised Trump did not start rubbing his hooves in the sand right then and tell Dayana that as soon as he could get his wife out of the house she should move in. And he did it right in front of his son who just nodded right along. Yeah, like his son would ever have a jet or even necessarily a job if it was not for dad. Ivanka? She is pretty damn smart and she would be a force to reckon with whether she had Donald as a dad or not.


This was not even my reason for writing. My reason was the ass kissery the show does to the contestants. Did you know that Debbie Gibson is a pop icon? Victoria Gotti an author? Aubrey O'Day a pop star? If The Apprentice is all about not being BS, and being real, I think the show should start with being honest about who the contestants really are.

Lou Ferrigno - Former Mr. Universe and can still kick your ass.
Patricia Velasquez - Passionate about her charity and used to play Marta on Arrested Development
Debbie Gibson - Had some hits 30 years ago. Only can call her Debbie and not Deborah if the check is large enough.
Teresa Giudice - Obligatory Real Housewife because NBC owns Bravo
Victoria Gotti - Daughter of mobster who had a reality show
Arsenio Hall - Did anyone know I have a daughter?
Lisa Lampanelli - Funny. Knows something about someone.
Penn Jillette - Wait, I thought he was Teller
Dayana Mendoza - the cast member Donald Trump wants to get lucky with
Aubrey O'Day - former reality star who has a show on Oxygen which no one has on cable system but NBC probably owns.
Tia Carrere - Biggest paycheck she will get all year.
Cheryl Tiegs - Supermodel before they even coined the term. Your grandfather had a thing for her.
Paul Teutul Sr. WTF does he know who can write a $305K check?
George Takei - Damn he looks good for 100.
Dee Snider - While grandpa was looking at Cheryl Tiegs he was listening to Twisted Sister.
Adam Carolla - Funny. I can't say anything bad because I like being invited over to his house.
Michael Andretti - We would figure out which Andretti you are, but you won't be around long enough to care.
Clay Aiken - And his last album was when?


28 comments:

RenoBlondee said...

I don't watch, but that was funny commentary about them, LOL!

Cindy said...

Old or not, Takei is the funniest one on the show.

Nosey Parker said...

I'm cheering for Lisa Lampanelli.

Theresa said...

It was incredibly boring! NBC owns the Oxygen network, hence the Oday chick. I knew her name but remembered her as being a pretty blond, not something so used up. Thought it was funny when she said, "I have the most twitter followers of all the women. I am the best known" Rolling Stone did a piece introducing everyone and they clearly don't like Teresa Guidice as they kind of slammed her in her into then slammed her in a few others. Was pretty funny.

Theresa said...

www.rollingstone.com/movies/photos/meet-the-2012-celebrity-apprentice-contestants-20120216

link to the Teresa Guidice slam

Audrey said...

I have a HUGE crush on Penn Jillette, but that still won't make me watch this crap. I don't want to be responsible for one cent going into Trump's pocket.

EmEyeKay said...

@Theresa, thanks for that link, I just read the whole thing.

When I see the online ads for it I think OMG, they have SO MANY HAS BEENS. There are none left for the next time!

Celeb Apprentice is my guilty pleasure (shhhh). I'm Hulu'ing it later.

Tempestuous Grape said...

I DVR'ed it and can't wait to watch. I'm a sucker for these types of shows, no matter how bad they are.

Nosey Parker said...

Thanks Theresa!

I didn't know that Lisa used to work as a fact checker for Rolling Stone.

Theresa said...

Teresa flew under the radar but boy did she blow her "I'm a fantastic cook" routine. Wait until you all watch her try to just lay out slices of cheese. As boring as last night was, I do expect this to be a good one. The men have to get over their lovey dovey stuff.

nolachickee said...

Donald Trump is a vile creature. Is it already time for another younger model wife swap?

Doesn't matter how much money he could throw at me. I wouldn't ever let that bloated, comb over dickhead touch me.

califblondy said...

I watched and loved it, but I love this kind of crap.

Looks like Debbie Gibson thinks very highly of herself and I can't imagine why? She may be the Dionne Warwick of this season.

Cheryl is just blah and I'm glad she owned up to not being cut out for this crap.

The men's team is very interesting. It's all love, rock and roll and Harleys now, but they'll have to turn on each other eventually. Penn impressed me the most. He worked hard. Aresenio seems scared of everybody.

JoElla said...

I hate to admit it, but I watched and liked it.

I agree about Cheryl, and it was nice to see Donald fire someone nicely. I mean, who can hate on Cheryl?!

I'm not sure who will crash and burn, but the Debbie (sorry Deb, you will always be Debbie to me) and Aubry will bring on the bitch fight first.

I have mad love for anyone who is Andretti, been a huge fan of the family forever.. even the cousin who is in racing.

I think Paul wrote that check, I never really watched the chopper show, but really liked him.

Penn, love him!

So far, I think I really like the guys the most. I think the womens team will prolly be a ticking time bomb but I was super impressed on how they all came together for their task.

And I can't wait to see Clay's bitch face again.. I think he is the wild card and will have the first meltdown on the guys team.

Jenn719 said...

I have really been looking forward to this season. I actually have heard of almost every contestant and many of them I was very fond of in my youth. Biggest surprise for me was what a hustler Clay Aiken was. Boy can upsell. Favorite part was George Takei fawning over Lou Ferrigno. That was hilarious.

Susan said...

I watched Mob Wives instead. The two-hour time frame of CA is a real turnoff for me. I watched last season, but I was a nursing momma, so I had time to sit on my bootie for longer stretches of time.

I may try it on On Demand. I love Penn and I am curious to see how Teresa Giudice interacts with these peeps.

I love Ivanka Trump. She is a class act, despite the shenanigans of her father.

Enty, I love it that you are friends with Adam Carolla. I heart him.

Carrie L. said...

As a big A.D. fan, I was thrilled to see Patricia on the show and was heartbroken when her team lost. That's a main issue I have with this show; the fact that she raised over $100k and her charity didn't get a dime. I won't get into what I thought with Paul's $305k mystery donation.

shopgirl said...

Only caught a glimpse during a commercial break from some other crummy Sunday night show but thought... is this what they mean by Z-list celebrities?

Worstcompanytoworkfor said...

Arsenio had better get funnier.he was awful!

Worstcompanytoworkfor said...

I think all the black celebrities are boycotting because of the stuff DT said about our president.

Jason Blue Eyes said...

What happened to Tia's face? It didn't look like that when she was on "Curb" a few years ago.

Didn't Tia also get 18 million dollars when she divorced that producer guy all those years ago? That can't all be gone.

califblondy said...

I always liked Paul, Sr., until I read (I think here) that he's a racist.

He tried to play tough guy last night, but I think he was right on the verge of losing it. It's a good thing his team won. I think someone even made a comment about Paul, Sr., calling out the minorities (Arsenio and George) for being the worst on the team.

timebob said...

Lisa was on Howard and said they get paid very little money. It is just the lure of being on a hit show and exposure. Trying to restart careers or in Lisa's case trying to find new fans to come to her shows.

It is not about the money it is the hope work will come from it.

MnGddess said...

I don't get Celebrity Apprentice, because the entire show is really about who's got the richest friends most willing to fork over their dough. So in a sense, it has nothing to do with being an "apprentice". And aren't those friends a little pissed if you are calling them every week to give them money? I saw the last 10 minutes of it last night and I was bored. Don't know how it stays on the air.

PollyPureBred said...

BEST reality show on TV. The Donald is a buffoon and I adore every minute of his huffing, puffing and fawning.

Del Riser said...

I didn't see this, but will try to watch future shows. I think Penn Jillette is a pretty smart guy. I'd root for him.

mooshki said...

Penn Jillette is smart as hell. I hope he wins, with George Takei in second. Takei is the single funniest person on facebook. It's a fact.

Lelaina Pierce said...

I haven't watched it yet, but I thought the cast looked good. I heard there may be some table flipping so I plan on tuning in for that alone.

ardleighstreet said...

No making fun of George Takei. He is the funniest person on FB and ALWAYS makes me laugh.

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