Thursday, February 09, 2012

This Means War Is Going To Be Huge Bomb


Reese Witherspoon has not reached the level of a Jennifer Aniston or Katherine Heigl when it comes to poor box office, but she is getting there. She has made some very bad choices lately, and her latest, This Means War is another seemingly horrible choice. The movie was supposed to open on Valentine' Day. It still will but in a very limited run. When people have seen previews of the movie they have hated it. I mean like really really bad scores. Like so bad that a movie studio was willing to postpone the release date less than a week before it was supposed to be released to try and do something about it. They took out a bunch of jokes to make it go from an R to a PG-13 in hopes that they can convince a bunch of teenagers to go see it. I think most teenagers will be going to see The Vow which is going to make a ton of money and which I will never watch unless my mom trades me food or I am in a coma when she watches it on Pay Per View.


Except when I read about This Means War, I don't even have a clue what the title of the movie is because when you see ads on billboards it is way too confusing. Until I turned up the volume on the previews, I also thought it was a movie about two gay men and Reese Witherspoon was their best friend.

58 comments:

Beth said...

The ad is awful, and if those are the best bits, I can't imagine how unwatchable the entire movie will be.

In particular, that "sex tiebreaker" line is beyond cringey.

Reese seems really desperate to make herself a sex symbol, and it's rather on the pathetic side.

Susan said...

Yeah. I've seen the ads and I have no idea what the movie is about. Nor, do I care.

I just feel like Hollywood is putting out such crap in terms of movies. Maybe Reese should do some TV. Seems like there's more creativity going on on the small screen.

Moosefan said...

Even so, I can watch Tom Hardy read the local farm report and would be FINE...He is easy on the eyes!

crila16 said...

"How Do You Know" was unwatchable...and I love Owen Wilson and Paul Rudd. Horrible Horrible movie. It was up there with the Jennifer Aniston movie "Love Happens". Yuck. I don't know which movie was worse.

If Reese (who I actually had liked her movies) does one more stupid movie, she IS going to become Jennifer/Katherine. I will not be seeing This Means War.

L said...

That doesn't even look like Reese in the picture.

Beth said...

Meanwhile Jennifer Aniston's Wanderlust looks like it has potential. Paul Rudd's in it -- with his name before hers! -- and it's by the people who did Wet Hot American Summer, which is an absolute classic.

MM said...

I pass by this billboard every morning on my way to work, and I so want to climb up there and spray paint "Of course, you know..." on the top. And then maybe stick Bugs, Daffy and Elmer over their faces.

Ms Cool said...

I don't really like a romance movie unless it is Pride and Prejudice. BBC version. Or the Keira Knightley version. Preferable BBC.

Mother Campfire said...

Gilt City is trying to give away seats to a screening of it here in Seattle. I'm curious as to the point of that...

http://www.giltcity.com/seattle/tmwsea?ifs=mailing_id%3D569283%26link_type%3Dtmwsea%26edid%3DOFSQVXC-1CH7R-X0DMOJ-K9KP8-4X7KN-v1&OEID=569283-tmwsea-Seattle%201&ET=weekly&ECT=standard&EPT=body&ECA=view

Vicki Cupper said...

That's Tom Hardy? I thought it was a bad photoshop of Chris Klein.

Poor man. I will be glad to comfort him after this garbage. With my breasts.

Vicki Cupper said...

Then who the hell is High Hair?

This is the worst poster since Runaway Bride!

MISCH said...

So haw many bombs do you make before you don't get 20 million a film....
Angie has had many bombs as had Brad, Julia and others...when does the money start to reflect the quality of work >

Patty said...

Movie looks stupid, wayy stupid. And Chris Pine looks like a conehead in that picture.

jen said...

chelsea handler is in it, makes me not want to see it even more.

EmEyeKay said...

@Ms Cool - I can watch (and read) P&P over and over again, never get tired of it. I know how it ends, but I still get caught up in it, every time! Such a great love story.

Have no idea what this movie is about. Remember Freeway? She was awesome in that.

Hilary said...

I can't really get into a very pretty lady having to chose between 2 smoking hot guys. I can imagine myself seething with jealousy in the theater. Now if they could somehow figure out a way that I could be the female lead every night in my dreams, I would pay a ton.

parissucksliterally said...

No desire to see this.

TT said...

I know four people who have seen it in previews. Two say it is a real stinker. One says, while she is a huge RW fan, this was not a good format for her. The fourth says he think some fans will rally for this but it sooo deserves to bomb. So all four did not like it.

Sue Ellen Mishkey said...

I agree with Moosefan about Tom Hardy.

What a babe he is!

anita_mark said...

I felt sad for Reese's career when I saw Chelsea Handler is in it.

It just reminds me of the Friends episode when Phoebe dated the two guys and had to choose blah blah blah. This is probably a longer version of that. It doesn't sound enjoyable.

califblondy said...

Why does Chelsea think she's an actress? Granted I haven't watched her TV show and I'm sure I won't be seeing this movie, but I've seen lots of previews for both and she's terrible.

Sherry said...

Susan..Thanks in part to Showtime and HBO there is a lot of wonderful stuff being made on the small screen with less studio interference and by extension better quality. This explains why you see a lot of big screen and excellent actors working in that space. And frankly based on something like this shit, who can blame them.

Vicki Cupper said...

What I want to know is why are there TWO Chelsea Handler (Shit) Shows? Do we really need a sitcom about her as well as that crap "talk show"?

anita_mark said...

And yeah, that does't even look like her in the poster. It looks like Kristen Bell, who should be in it. Not an Oscar winning actress.

And what's with the guys? They look like they'd be more into each other than her. Unless the movie is about a style challenge. Is it? Because that seems more believable.

Beth said...

Based on this poster, Chris Pine's hair should get a credit.

equinox said...

"In particular, that "sex tiebreaker" line is beyond cringey."

Nice to know others feel the same way, I thought it was just me.

And Chelsea Handler in it? No, she is so horrible looking I can't stand it.

spacecowboy78 said...

What's up with Chris Pine's head?

Mooshki said...

"I also thought it was a movie about two gay men and Reese Witherspoon was their best friend."

From the commercials I've seen, that is what it's about. Seriously, if they wanted to turn this movie around, they should've shot a quickie ending where the two guys realize they're both just doing the whole Reese thing because they're secretly attracted to each other. That would get people into the theater.

Ida Blankenship said...

^I'd at *least* rent THAT.

Reese will always hold a soft spot in my heart for her performance in Freeway. She's way better at playing plucky and spunky than sultry and sexy.

That Chris Pine is pretty cute, but Tom Hardy does NOTHING for me. Then again, I think Daniel Craig looks like a garden gnome...

__-__=__ said...

It's just the big screen stuff that's trash. Kinda like network TV. Lots of great small screen movies. Can't wait for SXSW movies!!!

selenakyle said...

What is up with the dude's hair/head on the left? Good Lord what an odd cranium!

And the whole mess is air-brushed beyond all re-cog, IMO.

I hate chick flicks and will not see this no matter where/how it plays.

Admittedly I have the movie watching tastes of an 8th grade boy; just watched AVP:R last night on an off-brand cable channel and it flat-out sucks balls, but I'll watch Aliens and Predators ANY day before this drivel.

JMO.

JoElla said...

I agree Wanderlust looks like it would be fantab!

This one with RW, i'll wait for a pms kinda day filled with lots of buttered popcorn, M&M's and on demand cable movies.

Comma Chaser said...

I saw this poster in a theatre lobby, and for about five seconds I thought this was a movie about the long-running Spy vs. Spy strip in Mad Magazine. I might actually check something like that out.

The ads on tv totally turned me off, esp. when I saw that Chelsea Handler was in the cast, apparently in the sorta role that Judy Greer used to get/has since graduated from.

Layna Day said...

Ida: I LOVE Freeway. Reese as the plucky heroine, shooting Keifer Sutherland, busting out of prison, and kissing all over Bokeem Woodbine. Best re-interpretation of Little Red Riding Hood for me.

I haven't liked Reese since Election.

Ida Blankenship said...

@Layna -- "My dick may not function, but I have not lost my smile."

That's one of the few movies -- in addition to Clueless, Romeo + Juliet, and Babe -- that I can literally watch over and over again. Ah, the nineties. A golden age for cinema...

Sue Ellen Mishkey said...

I just saw a preview and all I could think when Reese drops the "sex tie breaker" line is, o.k Tracy Flick, you have that tie breaker.

*gag*

Layna Day said...

@ Ida: "Fuck you, chipmunk face! And your fuckin' skipper wife!"

I have a copy of the movie. I need to find it and watch it again this weekend. Good times!

timebob said...

Freeway rocks! Now that is how Little Red Riding Hood should be done.

The PR machine was trying so hard to create buzz for this movie.

looks like the three of them just needed a paycheck.

yourfaceisamess said...

I liked that stupid movie Kristen Bell & Josh Duhamel were in "When in Rome". I like some of these sucky movies, I liked "27 Dresses" too. haha but THIS MOVIE looks like a snoozer.

Andrew said...

The "all of Jennifer Anistons movies flop" thing is getting old because its not even true. Her last 2 movies, Just Go With It and Horrible Bosses, were huge box office hits. Marley and Me, He's Just Not That Into You, Along Came Polly, The Break Up.. all those movies did well at the box office. Even The Bounty Hunter (which was awful) made a profit back. She's had a few bombs like everyone has, sure. But this constant all her movies flop business is bullshit.

The Bitch Next Door said...

Sorry to see TOM HARDY going down the romance comedy route as he's a very talented, kick ass UK actor. He's just starting to get U.S. recognition with his mini series, THE TAKE, which aired recently on ENCORE. I highly recommend everyone see it as he was riveting. And yes I know he had a small role in TINKER, TAILOR.

LisbethSalander said...

Glad to see I'm not the only one who holds much disdain for Chelsea Handler.

Nart said...

I thought this mess was called Spy vs. Spy, am I wrong?

Del Riser said...

Saw Chris Pine on TV last night, short hair, nice normal head. He is just a cutie. Reese looks different because she is not smiling.

Mooshki said...

Nart, I think that's just the tagline, but the original posters did only have 'Spy vs. Spy' in the large lettering, so maybe it was the original title? Can't find an answer in google.

Worstcompanytoworkfor said...

Why is she doing all of these stupid Romcoms...why not do something smarter and more edgy...with other races maybe perhaps.

Jason B E said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jason B E said...

I'm going to channel Jeffrey Wells here and proclaim: Grey Movie poster = BOMB.

Unless it's "Schindler's List." or "Girl with The Dragon tattoo." Those are the only exceptions. Or if your movie is actually titled "The Grey."

GoGo said...

THAT is Reese? Photoshop much??? (And NO ONE commenting on her? Yeah, the boys are cute and o'erly PS'd, but dammit! Reese does NOT e'en look like herself -- or e'en as she looks in the movie...)
There was a movie a while back (Simone?) about some fake-CGI actress... I didn't see it; I think Al Pacino was e'en in it (the beginning of his decline); this seems to be the beginning of something like that.

timebob said...

I just noticed in the picture they look they are goin to shoot her in the boobies.

that gives me the lolz :)

Sis Cesspool said...

Holy shit Chris Pine has a huge noggin! He looks like that alien from Attach From Mars.

anita_mark said...

@GoGo, yes, there are comments on it.

ardleigh said...

Maybe RW aked them to photoshop her beyond recognition, so she can deny being in this suckfest.

Fifi834 said...

The poster gets a photoshop award for making RW's chin look less like a potato.

mngddess said...

For a romantic comedy to work, there MUST be chemistry. And I didn't see an iota of chemistry in the preview. Reese was good in Sweet Home Alabama; not with Dr. Dreamy (not), but with the Josh Lucas character. I did like Legally Blonde. And she had good chemistry with Luke Wilson. Other than that, I could care less. I would much rather see Rachel McAdams in a film. Reese can get in a boat with Julia Roberts, Jennifer Anniston, and the Goop and sail away for all I care.

mngddess said...

@timebob - I noticed that too! It would be a much better movie if they both shoot her.

NYCGirl said...

Agree that it looks bad.

Lelaina Pierce said...

@califblondy - I JUST watched an interview with her on Rosie & she said Reese asked her to be in it.

I think the premise of this movie seems stupid, which is why I won't see it (I MIGHT rent it?). I love Reese, but she hasn't ALWAYS made good film choices. And, although I like Chelsea's stand up, her part in this looks ridiculous.