Saturday, October 13, 2012

Amanda Todd

I hate bullying. I'm not talking about the bullying that celebrities say they went through because they are trying to get more fans and spin some kind of story because someone called them ugly once when they were in the 7th grade. I'm talking about the kind of bullying that drives a 15 year old teen to kill herself. Amanda Todd was not gay. She was not ugly. She made two mistakes in her life and they caused her to kill herself. The British Columbia teen once sent a photo of her breasts to an older guy. He then blackmailed her and said he would send it everywhere unless she did things for him. She didn't and he sent it out. Everywhere. Kids at school teased her and made fun of her. Her parents moved her to another school. The photo followed. The teasing continued. She then "hooked up" with a guy who had a girlfriend and was shamed beyond belief and was threatened and told to kill herself. She tried. She swallowed bleach, but was saved. Earlier this week she succeeded. The town where she lives apologized posthumously for the bullying, but there needs to be more done.

Her parents knew she was being bullied and changed schools. What they should have done is home school her. Get her through high school because in college no one cares if you sent naked photos to people. Everyone is involved with their own lives and not yours. A topless photo is not going to phase anyone.

If you are reading this and are in high school, I know you think life begins and ends in high school. It doesn't. It is a cocoon of 3 or 4 years that ends. It might seem like forever before it ends and your life might be miserable everyday, but I want you to know one very important thing. Time moves on. That clock keeps going forward and those people that are bullying you right now are going to work at cleaning the toilets at McDonald's. They will be hoping that one day they will get to make the fries. You are bigger than them. If you are being bullied, talk to someone about it. Discuss it. Find one friend who will be there for you. I am here. Anyone is here for you. Do not kill yourself. I know it is cliche, but things do get better. I promise.

73 comments:

Nosey said...

so true!!!! I swear i got a bit teary eyed reading that last paragraph. It Gets Better!

tamarind said...

well put enty. that is so sad....i didn't even want to read this, but i think you hit the nail on the head.

Robyn Hardisty said...

Beautifully written. Such a heartbreaking story.

Christina said...

Enty, I love you for this. Truer words were never spoken. I hope she finally has found some peace.

SusanB said...

Why isn't the asshole fucker who took the pictures of her breasts and publicized them still walking around? Can't he at least be arrested for child porn? And blackmail? Sometimes I just hate men.

Glitter said...

There really is evil in the world and kids can be evil, too. Girls should never allow anyone to take pictures of them nude. Never.

katsm0711 said...

It sounds like she was teased because of her actions which were a result of low self esteem/emotional problems. It's sad that nobody picked up on that and tried to help her BEFORE this all started.

Pogue Mahone said...

I was bullied for 2 1/2 YRS starting in grade 7. I was teased, called names, spit on, beat up, had gum thrown in my hair, my clothes shoved in the toilet during swim class,pinched my arms bruised, whacked over the head and in the ribs with books,mocked,taunted,by my entire class, etc.due to my looks. When I went to the principal she said it was my fault and that I "deserved" it for being ugly and that it would get worse because I "snitched", which it did. I even had to transfer schools but it only followed me. I tried to kill myself 3 times. Not enough is done to stop bullying.Schools SAY the have anti-bullying policies but it's in name only. Bullies should be expelled from schools and the police should charge them with assault. I am 45 YRS old now and I still live with the emotional scars and damage from being bullied.This is one reason I homeschool my own kids, so they'll never have to endure the torment that I did.

Christina said...

@Pogue Mahone,
Giving you a long distance hug. I'm glad you were not successful in your suicide attempts. I'm glad you are here to raise your children and protect them. Your scars make you a better mother for your children. Remember that when times get tough.

MelTheLibrarian said...

Wow, Enty, this is the kindest most sincere thing I have ever seen you post. ---- When I read this story on CNN yesterday I was left a little numb with just how far people will go to ruin someone. I pray for Amanda, her family, and for any other kids going through any type of bullying. I think we all have experienced a taste of bullying before but this poor girl really could not get away from her bullies no matter how hard she tried. I hope that she finds peace now. May the universe judge those who went out of their way to bully Amanda

T. E. Cuz said...

RIP Amanda. Hugs to Pogue. I always feel for people who are bullied. I live by the Golden Rule and I think more people should do the same.

amy said...

@SusanB

That's exactly my reaction! How is this guy not in jail for child porn?? What about Harper's supposed tough on crime stance? Even if she didn't want to press charges, I'm fairly sure the province/country would still be able to press charges for distributing child porn. If she was in grade 7, the poor girl was only 12 years old!! Horrifying.

whiskeygrl said...

It really does get better, and its true that once you are in College no one cares about the "mistakes" you made in high school. I was bullied insesantly in junior high and high school. Kids threw their food at me when I walked by them, they yelled out "Ewww!" If I sat near them, they stole my stuff and uridiculed mr every single day. In high school I got beat up on an almost weekly basis. My last year of high school I spent every lunch hour in the libarary or in the bathroom hididg. Anyways, once I went to college no one cared anymore. People moved on with their lives and the bullying stopped completely. All these years later I don't forget what I went through but I've moved past it. I am happy, successful and am lucky enough to have the love and support of wonderful friends and family. Life gets better. I too thought it would never end. I too wanted to end the pain myself, and often thought about it, but I am so happy I never went through with it. Rest in peace Amanda. I hope they catch the asshole who did this to you. And I hope the people that tormented you learn a valuable life lesson from this tragedy.

MelTheLibrarian said...

@Pogue Mahone- I am so truly sorry to hear your experiences with bullying. Sometimes adults are no better than the kids bullying. Nothing I can say will ever make better what happened and the scars that resulted from it. But I hope that your children will offer you a bright spot and a purpose to keep living and keep fighting against bullying. Sending you virtual hugs!!
-Melissa

Char said...

The police haven't been able to find the guy who sent out the photos. They've traced him to somewhere in the US, but apparently he's been quite proficient at electronically hiding his location. (I live about 30 km from where Amanda did.. this is big news here)

whiskeygrl said...

Btw- I've been reading this site for yrs but never felt the need to post until now. I mostly just really enjoy reading the witty and hilarious comments of everyone here. I'm sorry my first post was so long and so full of mistakes. I got carried away wrtting, didn't proofread and am using my phone.

Char said...

I like this line from Degrassi: "High school sucks. Spend it with people who don't."

That was pretty much my philosophy in school. People who tell you that "these are the best years of your life!" are idiots. High school was the worst years of my life. It gets so so so so so much better after that.

I'm now married to a wonderful, hot man who treats me like a princess, I've traveled the world, I have two degrees and I have the best friends and family I could ever ever ask for! If I had given up in high school, I would have missed all that. So so sad. :(

RIP Amanda
I'm sorry you never got to see how much better life could be.

car54 said...

As someone who was bullied as a kid, I am so grateful there was no internet back then.

Poor, poor little girl.

Dija Star said...

Sending you good thoughts Pogue Mahone :-)

Some of these kids ughhhhhh! That's why I'm gonna teach my kids to physically defend themselves, sometimes using you words is just not enough for some of these mini monsters. Parents should be held accountable for not teaching their kids tolerance and schools should be held accountable for turning the other cheek. Makes me so mad! Kids should not have grown up problems!

CJ said...

I was in the same boat as Pogue Mahone. When I was 12 I was labeled a slut, which was hilarious, since I was skinny, covered in acne, and no guy would have come near me with a 10' pole. Later on they threw dog sh*t at me, and slapped my face in a mall food court.

It was awful.

When I read about Amanda my heart broke for her. Jr high and high school are such a brief period of time, and so meaningless compared to all that life has to offer. I feel awful - and FURIOUS - that these kids were able to put someone through that.

The parents in the town where Amanda lived should be hung out to dry, along with their hideous offspring.

Poor girl. My love goes to her and her family.

SusanB said...

I once had a wish (and I'm ashamed of it) - I have hoped that these bullies, when they grow up and have kids of their own that they love, that their child undergoes the same type of bullying that they perpetrated. That's the only thing that would make them understand what horrible things they did. I can't wish it on innocent children, though.

supapimp said...

Where are the assholes that post bullying is the new crying wolf? Eff you and your arrogant ignorance. RIP

__-__=__ said...

Congrats to everyone in HS who suffered and made it out alive. I never bullied anyone, nor did my friends. Animals that do this need to be segregated stat. I don't want my tax dollars supporting them in any way. School officials allowing this are only enablers and should be removed. Too much tax $ are spent on this and not enough on protecting and educating those who can learn and make this world a better place.

:| raven |: said...

i watched this video yesterday and was completely heartbroken. this beautiful young girl made some mistakes ... but her parents should have done more for her.

first of all ... and i have said this a thousand times over the last 10 or so years ... there is NO GOOD REASON that a young teen (i'm talking 12 - 16) should have a computer in their room with internet access. EVER. you think of those times that those kids are mad at parents, get on late at night and those fuc**** predators find them .... because they are lonely.

secondly, the cruelty that are the kids that bullied and teased her ... all should be held accountable. yesterday on her YouTube channel .. some girl posted: "i went to school with her and she was sleeping with EVERYONE .. i'm so glad she's dead" ...

if i could have reached through the computer ... but here is ANOTHER young teen on the internet posting garbage that i'm sure her parents don't know about either.

this HAS to stop. i was bullied. i also attempted suicide 3 times between 16 and 18. my nickname all through jr. high and high school was "crater face" because i had such horrible acne .. and because i was VERY well developed (was a double D in jr high) was also called a slut, despite not ever having a boyfriend. it has affected me to this day in the confidence area. i GET why these kids get to this point.

i know i'm rambling .. but how many more does this need to happen to before these bastard kids are held accountable for the suicides they cause?

Basil said...

I know in HS and younger you are considered a "snitch" if you tell on someone, but if those bullies did the exact same thing when they are adults they be standing in front of a judge.

I say if a kid is getting bullied, by all means tell your school, but also let the police know and get then lawyer up.

MadLyb said...

Kids learn this behavior from their parents, they really do. Granted, some kids with really good parents can take part in bullying out of peer pressure, but most kids with parents who teach them manners, and how to be "PC" don't torment others.

My nephew was bullied at school every day. My sister lived in a conservative town and my nephew made the mistake of going to school with a "Kerry" sticker on his notebook. There was one kid who would run up behind him in the hall and punch him almost every day. Nothing was done when my sister would complain to the school, and the parents didn't give a shit that their kid was continually tormenting and punching my nephew and refused to meet to discuss it, so my sister finally sat my nephew down, and told him he had her permission to punch back if the kid punched him again. He hadn't prior because it was against the rules to fight in school. So the next day, instead of punching back, he told the kid if he wanted to fight it out, to meet him after school away from the school grounds. Well, the kid never showed up, and never bothered him again, LOL.

Chilie said...

Enty, you have some of your facts wrong again. Mental health professionals were involved, the school was involved, and her family was involved. She had a lot of people around her trying to help. Especially after the YouTube video.

But what really pushed her over the edge was moving, going to another school etc. and the bastard send her another email with the names of her new friends and she felt she could never escape this.

Home schooling wouldn't have solved this issue. The poor girl was totally isolated, and would have to have continued to be isolated.

Changing her name and moving across country might of helped. But no one thought she would commit suicide.

They guy who continued to harass her after the move - he deserves a manslaughter charge.

yawnathon said...

I watched this video when she posted it over a month ago. I emailed it two nights ago after it was reported she had committed suicide to all of the new parents I know. If we can teach our little ones respect and tolerance, how to be gentle and kind, I really believe it can make a small difference.

SingBlue said...

This is so sad, and so common. I hope they track the shit head down and he gets to spend many years in prison having to put on a show every night...

I saw someone set up a tribute page, which of course got trolled to buggery. I realise it may not have been her family, but if it was set up in good intentions - why? Someone just killed themselves over bullying via social media. People are so stupid and ignorant. Kids like Amanda have an excuse, they are young, and naive (which some people will try to exploit).

In UK they have started jailing people for social media abuse. Trouble is we're already out of jail space. They'll need another Australia soon.

RIP Amanda

Ogie Ogilthorpe said...

I hope that they catch the malignant ****er who hurt her in the first place. As for the kids who bullied her, I wouldn't wish that on THEIR kids, but if they had to pay the price for their bullshit behavior, I wouldn't shed a tear.

I got bullied in school, too. Life's not perfect, but it's lightyears better than it was way back then, when the bullies rode dinosaurs to school. What I would give to be the enforcer who got to protect bullied kids...

EmEyeKay said...

Here's an interview with her mother:

http://www.vancouversun.com/news/Amanda+Todd+speaks+about+daughter+death/7384521/story.html

tamarind said...

I got bullied in school too.my mom was good looking and the guys would whisper how hot she was and how they F*#%ed her last night.
life for chicks sucks in high school.i hope the bastards who did this get caught.

OMAMA is BROKO said...

I blame the lack of responsibility that parents now have with their children. No kid is EVER at fault, the kid is always right mentality is what prevails. No one disciplines, rather anything goes, and I am speaking from experience. If I ever caught wind of one of my kid's bullying, I would have publicly shamed them, and probably caned their ass (and would have had every drunkard parent up my ass for being a bully then to my own kids!!!!! 'Tis the F'ed up world we live in).

OMAMA is BROKO said...

//I pray this child has finally found peace.

and my prayers are with her family.

the scum who taunted her are still too stupid to realize what they've done, I'm sure, and will breed more heathens to rake their future bullying place, no doubt.

Chilie said...

Those who trolled the tribute page are being investigated to see what their role was in the pre-death bullying.

It will be interesting to learn how those little bastards react when the police come to the family(ies) homes to interview them. I wonder what the parents will do.

If I had a kid who mercilessly tormented Amanda, before and after death... honestly, it's a good thing I don't have kids, because I would probably lose my temper, and end up in jail if my kid did that.

I avoid my friend's daughter now. I was there at her birth and was quite close to her until about age 10. Despite great parents who are on top of the bullying thing, discipline her, work with the school, work with other parents... this little bitch is a gorgeous, 16 year old snake. Her brother turned out very well, thank goodness. But her... honestly, I hope her victims gang up on her and beat her so bad she ends up in the hospital. Maybe then she'll learn not to fuck with other people's lives. Nothing else has worked.

urban chaos said...

I was part of a big discussion regarding this the other day. It really stands to say that as parents we must all stop thinking our kids are so damn innocent and pay attention when they are young. I see Sk kids in the yard already targeting LO's and their parents not reacting until it's tears. Then the bully is often the first to point the finger and burst into tears when he gets in trouble.

We all need to grasp that if we're not part of the solution, we're part of the problem. The lip service needs to stop and people need to get involved when they see harassment. That, and the laws need to step the f up and put some traction behind social media bullying and school bullying so that we stop minimizing it from an early age and treat it with serious consequences.

tamarind said...

i was reading comments on amanda todd's mom speaks out page....
i thought these comments were interesting...
"what kind of world do we live in?"
"What kind of World you ask?
Well; it IS a World where a man can hunt down a young gay man and then with the help of his GANG hold down said young gay man and then chop this man's hair off; whilst at school; and? that bully's name is?

>>>> Mitt Romney.
that's the kind of World we've created"

Cheryl said...

I hate bullies, but I'm more concerned about how we can teach young people, and girls especially, not to get nude casually and flash in this day and age. I'm sad about what she went through, and I'm not blaming the victim here, but this should be a cautionary tale.

Kristin said...

They should charge the older man with transmitting child pornography and child endangerment. One count of each for every time he sent the photo and to each person under 18 he sent it to. That should keep him off the streets and away from vulnerable adolescents.

AKM said...

"first of all ... and i have said this a thousand times over the last 10 or so years ... there is NO GOOD REASON that a young teen (i'm talking 12 - 16) should have a computer in their room with internet access. EVER. you think of those times that those kids are mad at parents, get on late at night and those fuc**** predators find them .... because they are lonely."

I agree with Raven. By no means am I completely blaming the parents, but it's NEVER a bad idea to know what your children are doing. Sure, they're going to do things away from home that you may not completely know about, but you CAN monitor what's going on under your roof. I admit that I'm not a parent, and like I said, I don't wish to put all of the blame on them, but if I WERE a parent, my children would not have internet access in our home without my supervision, period.

NYCGirl said...

The blame obviously lands squarely on the conscience-less people who attacked and harassed her, but I have to agree that children do not need access to webcams/FB/etc.

And nicely said, Enty.

katsm0711 said...

I think part of it starts with the every kid gets a trophy win or lose culture. An ex was a painter that worked in those huge million dollar homes in Connecticut. He told me that every kids room was filled trophies but not for winning, they would be for "participation". He described it like whole walls would be covered. He laughed bc he was here illegally (please lets not debate that) trying to make a quick buck to make life in his third world country a little better for his family. But it shows such a contrast of culture. He never needed a trophy. His reward for fixing the family car was his dad could drive to work to earn money to feed them. We can't just tell kids to "be nice" we need to examine WHY they are so unsatisfied in their lives they need to put another down

Caprica said...

There's a book called "Nurtureshock" that delves into this 'everyone is a winner, you're so smart, you can do no wrong' parenting culture and how it has backfired. My son is only 3 months but I'm doing my best to make sure he grows up with empathy for others. It is interesting reading

katsm0711 said...

That's interesting @caprica! My uncle told me once that Dr Spock is what ruined Americas kids, it sounds like the same idea. We went from "the greatest generation" to Me! Me! Me!

E Gee Be said...

Raven and AKM, so glad to read what I have saying for YEARS. Take the computers out of your children's rooms! A single computer, in a well lit, populated area of the home is the ONLY choice for families who want to truly monitor what is going on. There are so any traps for our kids on the Internet, that it is our duty to keep them safe, and he only way to do that is to be truly aware of what they are doing.
This goes for Internet enabled cell phones as well. A child or young teen does not need a camera on their phone, or Internet access.
Finally, insist your child allow you to friend or follow them on all social media. Knowing that you can see what they post, or what their friends are doing wont always make you happy, but will at least keep them aware. Please trust me on this advice, I have worked with hundreds of kids and young adults for years and it really will make a difference.
And pogue Mahone, I have always had a soft spot for you because my childhood dog shared your name. To you and all the other readers who have been in such a dark place, a hug to you today.

FS said...

Kids don't need a computer in their own room to get into trouble on the internet or bully each other. How many 10 year olds do you know with cell phones that text and take pictures? How many 12 year olds have cell phones? If you are monitoring your child's internet usage, check their phones as well.

This incident has been on my mind since I saw the trending topic on twitter yesterday. Out of curiosity I clicked on the hash tag and then perused some of the profiles who were mourning the loss of Amanda. I didn't have to scroll far to find one who made her own bullying comment to someone else before lamenting the loss of Amanda.

Does it really get better? Perhaps for some, but lets be honest, there are plenty of adult bullies in this world, especially with the anonymity of the internet, and yes, even on this site. It doesn't happen often, but there are some commenters here who cannot disagree in a civil manner without throwing in a few choice names. As adults, we are not setting a better example for our children, we only thing we are.

Lola said...

So sad.

I have told my daughter repeatedly that girls (especially) are mean when they are teens. It is their nature. Those same girls who "rule the school" will find real life, where the world doesn't worship them, to be a scary surprise.

Find a couple of good friends and stay out of the fray...it is a few short years of your life, and then it gets better.

And Enty, kudos on the heartfelt post and on attempting to reach out. If only everyone would do this.

Lola said...

Oh, and I'd like to see Anonymous hunt this guy down...there's a challenge.

FS said...

argh. correction: How many 12 year olds have smart cell phones? and we only think we are setting good examples. I wish this site had an edit button.

My husband and I saw a study on TV years ago, done with children asked to complete a math problem, then complete a second math problem. Half the kids were told 'you are so smart' and half the kids were told 'you worked really hard and that impressed me'. The kids who were told that they were hard workers usually did better on the second problem and even if they got it wrong, felt better about their work. The kids who were told they were smart did worse on the second problem and felt worse if they got it wrong.

audrey said...

Right now there are a group of mothers sitting at their kitchen tables praising the Lord that their girls are good, kind, and oh so perfect that their angels could never have partaken in anything so cruel as to push another human being over the edge to take their own life. And there in lies a huge percentage of the problem with society today. No one ever wants to see their own child as anything but perfect and ignore all sorts of indicators that prove otherwise. I only hope that some of the people involved in the Facebook flaming and shaming grow up one day to develop a full on conscious...and understand that what they did when they were teenagers is disgustingly wrong and feel horrible that they played a part in this girl's death. If only one child stands up and reaches out to help someone they know is being bullied, living a life of torture brought on by a group of their so called peers--and gives them a spark of hope that humanity does exist, then Amanda Todd's death was not in vain.

feraltart said...

My thoughts are with all of you who were bullied and fought to come through on the other side. Your empathy and compassion will help change the world. Big hugs from Australia.

Lola said...

Nevermind, I see they are choosing to be dickwads about this...at least "officially"

Krab said...

I am a parent and I'm the parent of a bullied 15 year old girl. Yet my daughter is permitted to access the Internet privately in her room. Because her only friends are online. She IMs her long-distance friends from nerd camp and it does her a world of good. I'm certainly not going to turn off the only positive social interaction my daughter has.

She's not an idiot and knows better than to interact with people she doesn't know.

Krab said...

Also--bullying and teen suicide is nothing new. We act as if it were invented with the Internet, but that's hogwash.

auntliddy said...

I wld add that everywhere u look andxread, the stereo type of kids loving high school abounds. While it isnt awful, its time time of deep emtional lows. U arent the only one who feels lost. And entys right- poof! Its over!

Mischievous Angel said...

This sounds like me. It took me decades to finally convince myself that I deserve better. I still push myself to become somebody to stop the voices (not literally) that tell me I will never be worth it.
In my freshman year I was asked, "have you ever considered yourself so ugly you should kill yourself?" I see pictures and see I was never ugly. I was damn cute.
Despite people saying bullying teaches people to stand up for themselves, it teaches others they aren't worthy to live.
It does not mean the bullied are weaker. It means they have been programmed with repetitive behavior that they are worthless. After all, everybody cannot be wrong. It does feel like everybody.
I also homeschool my children. They fight with each other, true. But, they have strong personalities.

Mutiny said...

Heartbreaking.

Best parenting advice I ever received: Your kids need you at home more when they are in middle school and high school than when they were preschoolers.

Sounds counterintuitive right? Made sense when she explained it to me...

A preschool teacher told me that when my oldest daughter was three. She said that she realized this when her kids and their friends started to hang out at her house after school. The kids would talk to each other and the mom about what was going on in their lives.

The surprising thing was that by the time the kids' dad came home from work and he asked them about their day, the kids downplayed whatever had upset them earlier. The mom felt that if she had not been there when the kids came home from school that she would have gotten the same answer that the dad did if she worked the late shift instead of the morning shift.

I never forgot that and when my daughters started middle school, I changed my infant/toddler daycare business -even though baby care is more profitable- to school age children. As a result, I actually had parents of middle schoolers sign up for after school care because I offered a ride to and home school, snacks, tutoring, activities and whatever else the kids needed.

The interesting thing was that the preschool teacher was a 100% correct about how kids talk about things. The would talk to each other and sometimes to me about what went on at school and when their parents came to pick them up whatever had been bothering them earlier didn't seem so horrible anymore.

Middle schoolers and high schoolers need more programs where they can have a safe place to hang out, do homework, relax and just learn how to deal with the stuff life throws at you.

All I know is that if my girls, who are 19 and 23 now, ever had anyone do anything like that to them heads would literally roll. The girls would have been yanked out of school and homeschooled in a heartbeat (they did attend a school sponsered homeschool program because the academic curriculum could be tailored to the student and was much better than the high schools in our district). Computer activity monitored. Placed into a support group and therapy. Then we would have enrolled the girls into a volunteer program because sometimes doing things for others can help place personal problems in perspective.

I agree that the Internet can be extremely dangerous and when the girls were younger we monitored everything on the computer. The teen years are pure torture and we need to do better as a society to help these kids.

misspeg86 said...

Awesome message Enty! You rock!

Benita said...

This is a horrible tragedy but by quantifying her situation saying she was not gay or ugly it sounds as if you are saying her bullying was extra tragic because it happened to a pretty, straight girl. I realize that was probably not your intent but it can come off sounding that way.

ABlake said...

This story is confusing to me and makes me think there is more to it.
From the article I read it said that she flashed some guy online and some other guy said he had the pic and would share it if she didn't give him a 'show'. She did.
Pics were still sent out and her parents moved and enrolled her into different schools(?)
Why not report the guy distributing the pictures? Seems cheaper than relocating.

The 'bully' bandwagon is getting full.

katsm0711 said...

I agree @ablake I'm so sick of the word "bully"

FS said...

Ablake, they cannot find the guy that harassed her, all of the info he gave was fake and led to dead ends.

Unknown said...

This really brought some tears to my eyes, and along with that some painful memories.

When i was younger, i lived in an environment where one parent physically and emotionally abused me, and we spent everyday scared of home. Because of this i was tremendously shy so would go to school and get bullied. I really thought i didnt deserve any better and somehow this was all my fault.

I attempted suicide when i was 16 - i will never forget that feeling of being completely alone in this world. And I felt..spent. Like i had nothing left in me anymore.

I am glad i made it out of that, and now I am a strong woman who is in law enforcement and works so hard to make at least one child safe. But i still carry the scares of my childhood. The idea that people can treat each other in this way saddens me. I hope human nature will one day learn.

And now i will shut up

ABlake said...

Nah FS, I call bullshit.

It's not hard to narrow it down with teenagers.

signed,
former teenager

Basil said...

If they can track down whose sending kiddies porn from one country to another, I am quite sure they can find out ISP numbers and such for whomever stalked this girl on Facebook (and she was stalked, make no mistake). Not only that, but any one of her scummy "friends" who left shitty remarks on her page, and even deleted them (bet they all disappeared as soon as the news hit) can be found and they WILL have police at their door asking some serious questions. So they will find who ground zero is and at the very least they will be charged with child pornorgraphy and go through life on the sex offender registry. And I bet it isn't a stranger.

FS said...

Yes Ablake, we are all former teenagers. I'm glad you have come to such a precise conclusion about a case that you've read so little about.

Basil, I agree with you. With the resources and a good analysis of her computer, they should be able to find this guy. I'm sure the trails are there, if they are willing to spend the money on forensic IT specialists (I have a friend who is one of those, they can find the most amazing stuff).

Basil said...

@FS I certainly hope so, but I don't think it would take that much money to find the electronic trail. And I am willing to bet that the ground zero guy (or girl) was probably someone Amanda knew

Gabby said...

This is so true and I am proof! High school was miserable for me, I was bullied on a daily basis both through the internet (anonymous comments) and in person. I was "mooed" at like a cow, called a bitch on a daily basis, told to kill myself, had rumors spread about me constantly, and one time overheard a bunch of 30 people (some who I thought were friends) talking badly about me, each chiming in with something worse. But ALL of that went away when I went to college. The 4 years of high school were literally a living hell, but just think about the future where you won't have to endure such hatred! I haven't been bullied since the day I left high school, and life has been great!

But bullying is seriously a problem, and that's why it makes me sad to see people dismissing it, like on other posts Enty has made about the subject. Until you've been through it, you don't know what it's like. And it's getting worse within the past 10-15 years! It makes me so sad to see so many teenagers ending their lives, thinking there's nothing left to live for. As cliche as it sounds, it DOES get better! I promise you!

doctressjulia said...

This is not just "bullying".

No one, none of the media pundits, is connecting this to misogyny and gender essentialism.

It’s all about “bullying”. The generic new flavour of the month for school boards and how-to-parent columnist to hang off.

doctressjulia said...

Unknown, that was pretty much my experience, too. I tried to kill myself at 14.

Mango said...

I saw the video the other day when a CDaN poster mentioned it. It's heartbreaking.

I was bullied in elementary school and junior high. When I was in elementary school two girls targeted me and would follow me home from school and taunt me the whole way. The friends I usually walked with were intimidated, bailed on me, and starting taking another route home and I can't say I blame them. My mother had knitted me a muffler for the winter and the one girl, her name was Judy, said, "You think you're so pretty with your scarf!" and walked behind me the whole walk home, yanking on my muffler the whole way, just shy of a mile trek. Every day. Finally, I told my mother who was infuriated. She was normally a very calm person but it really ticked her off that the girl put her hands on me. Mom made a trip to the school and they were pretty wishy washy about it and my mother told me that she would handle it herself and said, "I'm coming to school tomorrow to pick you up. Walk by me like you don't know me but try to indicate who she is."

The next day Judy and her sidekick were waiting for me as usual and started to follow me home. My mother was waiting across the street, standing outside her car. I didn't even
have to point them out, Mom could see Judy right behind me, yanking on my muffler. She waited until we were abreast of her and pulled me to the side and said, "If you EVER bother my daughter again or put your hands on her, you'll live to regret it!" The sidekick took off running in the other direction. Judy, with her big brass balls, actually mouthed off to my mother and I remember being astounded that a kid would talk to an adult like that! I can't remember what Judy said, but I remember my mother getting in her face and telling her, "If you ever bother my daughter again I will pound you into the pavement until there's nothing left but a greasy spot!" Judy never bothered me again even though we ended up attending the same junior high, where I was sporadically bullied by some other kids.

I'm sure if it happened today my mother would get in some sort of trouble for taking matters into her own hands but I remember being so grateful for my champion.

Sometimes I think about Judy and I'm sure she's a crack whore living in a slum and has 5 rude, surly kids by 5 different fathers. I have no idea if that's even close to the truth, but it sure makes me feel better to think it.

Lelaina Pierce said...

I read about this for the first time the other day when I saw a young girl I know on Facebook like a Bullying page which called out some asshole kid pretending to drink bleach that was captioned "Am I Amanda Todd yet?" Am floored that even after her death, I saw on numerous sites in the comment sections her former bullies saying that she never deserved sympathy because she had shown her boobs and was a slut. Truly horrifying that these people have shown no remorse. Nice parenting, also.

RIP, Amanda.

Penny Nichols said...

Fuck her dumbass an the rest of you who feel for her!! She had it coming to her..