Sunday, December 30, 2012

I Love Florida

A woman in Florida has been arrested for beating her boyfriend. Why? He finished first. The couple had been participating in a mutual oral sex session and the boyfriend finished before the woman. He stopped. So she began beating him and scratching him and throwing items at him such as wrenches. She was also upset because he had sex with another woman earlier in the day and she had heard them on the phone. Still didn't stop her from wanting him that night. The woman, photographed above tried to kick out the windows of the police car when she was arrested. Had a little too much to drink. (Thanks Becki)

63 comments:

PuggleWug said...

Lol! What the fock!?

MISCH said...

She looks rough...

auntliddy said...

Wow! Do not mess with unsatisfied woman!!

katsm0711 said...

How long does a tox screen take?

DBZee said...

Is there something in the water down there? Wow.

Also, macking on his nethers when he'd been with another woman earlier - EWWWW.

dia papaya said...

What. The. Florida!

*read this awhile ago and wondered why it took so long to see here, since we all love to make fun of Florida*

LottaColada said...

Oh for crying out loud, this makes me feel bad for all the sane Floridians who get a bad rap!

Shay said...

She needs to buy a vibrator. Stat.

timebob said...

i was just in florida in a Best Buy looking for an MP3 player for my moms. I was just going to ask an employee for where they were. And this woman starts screaming at me that she was next in line. I calmly looked at her that i just had a question and Merry Christmas to her. She was f'n insane.

God, I love Florida too.

Roman Holiday said...

I was just looking at Fl. real estate might be time to look somewhere else. Sigh......

phoenix said...

I live in south central Florida, and bet she's from somewhere in northern Florida which is really like a completely different state (redneck) except for a few small pockets like Gainesville.

timebob said...

let me say my moms lives in the Naples area. People are super sweet and nice to each other. The Best Buy incidient was a fluke.

dia papaya said...

Sorry LottaColada - I know there are many many normal and lovely people in Florida! But the ones who aren't, well they have some serious problems!

Are you in FL? Sorry to bash on your state :(

PS - I think you and I invent some delicious drink bc of our names. The LottaColada DiaPapaya special cocktail blend!

Angela said...

I lived in St. Pete for a few years, all the nuts I met were from all points north. I think all the sun goes to their heads or something.

LottaColada said...

I am actually born and raised in NY, no need to apologize. I have some family down there but other than that no close ties. I agree our cocktail would be delicious.

Unknown 1 said...

What a delicate flower! How does it go from, I know you called her, to okay, let's get in bed?

Unknown 1 said...

I live in Cali, and we have the worst reputation for nuts and weirdos, see Hollywood, but Florida is quickly surpassing us as the wackiest state in the union. WTF?

phoenix said...

Angela, I lived in St Pete too until I had to move to care for my folks who live (where else?) further north in a rural golfing community. I'm sooo bored here.

Shay said...

"The LottaColada DiaPapaya special cocktail blend!" Yum! I' ll take one, please!

ReesesPeace said...
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just curious said...

Where are those DV advocates at???

They need to burn this abuser alive.You know this wasn't the first time.

dia papaya said...

Do we have any mixologists out there that can make up this drink? I'm hopeless at bartending.

Agent**It said...

look into Naples and the adjacent towns:)

Sherry said...

I'm an alcoholic and former bartender :) Maybe I could think of something. A little rum, orgeat syrup, mango and papaya juices, amaretto. Garnish with a flag of orange slice and pineapple. Serve over shaved or crushed ice.

Chilie said...
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katsm0711 said...

Thanks @chilie annnnd I'm out of here! If this comment thread turns into dissecting why she wasn't happy with the 69, well I'll already be long unsubscribed by then!

ReesesPeace said...
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LottaColada said...

Sounds good!

dia papaya said...

Thanks Sherry! I feel so bad (afterwards) when I post stuff about drinking. I forget about all of you non-drinkers and then I feel a bit like a jackass.

Ironically, I rarely drink any more. I'm too sensitive now. Can only have two drinks, max. But this one sounds fun. I'd wanna try it if I saw it on the menu!

Back to the poor lady above - she and Lorena Bobbitt would make a great team! Men beware of the woman scorned.

Mango said...

...and throwing items at him such as wrenches.

Where were they going at it? The garage? Or does she keep a tool kit in the bedroom?

ReesesPeace said...
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dia papaya said...

Thank you Reeses! I came back bc I forgot to say sorry to you too and here you are telling me not to worry about it!

Thanks for your insight on so many issues. It has been a pleasure getting to know you and laughing at all your jokes!!!

Agreed! HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!

Sherry said...

I was about to comment that there are people here who do not drink like Reeses but they certainly don't seem offended by a cocktail recipe anymore that people with past eating disorders are with food recipes. It's a virtual drink and I don't believe anyone would feel pressure to mix it up.

And the alcoholic statement was a joke on myself. I drink responsibly; mostly just beer and wine. I usually don't have hard alcohol and kmow that one Cosmo is my limit!

Chilie said...
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Mooshki said...

LOL, Chilie!

Remember the good old days when we'd all just tell our funny Florida stories? I still miss you, Old CDaN...

Syko said...

@phoenix - I live in northern Florida and we are NOT all rednecks here. We do have our share of them, as any community does, but there are also plenty of cultured, well behaved people.

I think the only reason Florida has this rep is that it's always warm enough to go out and do things here. So we do them. We don't have to hunker down inside the house by the fire and rub our poor frozen fingers together. California had the same reputation a few years back, same reason.

PuggleWug said...

I think it is the people, not the weather. I'm not say all Floridians are like this. The bad seeds just seem exceptionally bad, which is why there is so much attention. The woman just heard her husband on the phone with the woman he is cheating with, and she still wants to do him? I would imagine knowing that he is cheating scum may have had something to do with her failing to orgasm.

Icecat said...

Just. GROSS.
Especially because she knew he was boning someone else earlier.. And how they hell do you hear it on the phone? Did he pocket dial her in the middle of it? LOL. Sick biotch probably listened to the whole thing. EWWWW...

She looks like a Meth Head to me... In which case this would make much more sense.

Leah said...

I live in St. John's county, on the outskirts of St. Augustine, and there are some fantastic deals out my way. Email me at leahking@gmail.com if you want any info. I'm not a realtor.

Leah said...

Oh Phoenix, hon, every county in FL has its crazies - even mine.

AndrewBW said...

A couple of our local DJs do a segment of humorous/bizarre news story, and every time they get one from Florida they announce, "The Florida Rule is now in effect." The Florida Rules says that the craziest of all stories are from Florida - and they very often are.

califblondy said...

Me too Mooshki. :(

If there's crazy shit going down in Florida, then that leaves my State out of the news for a while.

Jennmcn said...

My husband and I used to look at the Ft. Meyer's paper all the time to see if his ex-wife or her boyfriend were in it. His ex is bat shit crazy and moved out of the house after 20+ years of marriage into a Hobo camp to be with this guy. Anyway lots of the cray-cray in Florida. She has since moved to Kentucky and married some other guy.

I lived in Florida in the 1990's and because the population is so transient that there's a whole lotta crazy there. Some guy flew all the way from California to shoot his wife,in front of their kids in my apartment complex.

JSierra said...

Dia throw all the drinks my way, I will happily drink them for everyone who doesn't.

I can totally understand getting pissed when a mutual favor is stopped halfway through. I can totally not understand beating up your bf for it.

Cornbread said...

I know throwing wrenches at my husband ALWAYS puts him in the mood...

Jenn is right, a lot of our nut jobs down here aren't actually FROM Florida. I know I post that on every "Florida is full of weirdos" article, but it's true, we have a huge transient population. I'll stick up for my home state, even when it embarasses me.

DBZee said...

I get the impression sometimes (and please correct me if I'm wrong) that the drug trade in FL contributes to the craziness. I know there are drugs everywhere, but you never hear the words "the Provo drug cartel."

Christopher Cruz said...

That's the first thing I thought, too! Gross!!!

Christopher Cruz said...

Eep! This is the part where I admit to having family in Florida, but make excuses not to visit. But now I kinda feel vindicated.

Zeeky_Boogy_Doog said...

Some drug documentary I watched said that laws in Florida are such that let pain clinics flourish. They all advertise like mad, and there was even a street where there were several. Pain clinics are generally good things, but these are "oh, you have a splinter in your hand? Here's 100 vials of morphine."

Also, that woman looks like someone I went to school with. Horrible bitch! Bitch and bully, and nothing would make me happier than if that was indeed her!

Laura said...

I do have to say that I think Floridians are good drivers, so thy have that in my book. Of course I live in Texas so well....

Spiffypaws said...

As soon as I read the headline, I knew it happened in FL. I moved to Jupiter, Fl from Maine a few years ago. I still don't know why the crazy stuff happens down here. It's very entertaining.

fancyscreenname said...

Me have gotten the message that our orgasms don't matter as much as theirs. Why should he continue? He finished. That's. The point of sex, right? ((Sarcasm))

Side eye/

fancyscreenname said...

*men

anon said...

Florida - the penis of America

dbfreak said...

Thank you @Jenn & Cornbread! For St Pete's sake! :P
I live in St Pete and I'm a FL native. My parents, three siblings and I are all well educated, have good jobs and are productive members of society. The FL jokes start to chafe after a while :\.
As stated by previous posters, FL has a HUGE transient population - crazy people from all of the states *you* claim as home run to FL in waves hoping to avoid legal and other issues. It is literally a tale as old as time :P

phoenix said...

@Syko, did not intend to offend, and thanks for clarifying.

@Leah, and not just in Fla, but every county in the nation has it's crazy segment, yes. It's the size of those individual segments that causes some to stand out more than others.

Agent**It said...

Jupiter is pretty.

888 said...

The peninsula is a shit hole and full of the dregs and scum of humanity. Anyone who doesn't understand our gun laws should take a trip down there. Too bad because it's absolutely gorgeous but full of Haitians and Turd World trash in addition to our own homegrown trash and thugs like St Trayvon of Skittles. The "rednecks" are generally decent people as long as they're not methed out, drunk or pilled up. You couldn't pay me to go south of Gainesville and you'd have to pay me a lot to go east of the Big Bend. But, just to be safe, y'all and your ilk should definitely stay out of the panhandle. We don't need or want holier than thou yankee douchebags lecturing and condescending to us, and you probably wouldn't like knowing how we handle it. But if you want the Florida experience we can send you our illegals, Haitians, cartel members, homeless cannibals and crackheads! Y'all love vibrant diversity so FL should be right up your alley and you can have it all without even leaving you lily white utopias! Just say the word, the Greyhound station is close by and my city has been itching to dump their homeless crazies somewhere.....

fancyscreenname said...

@888....Republican governor?

Tuxedo Cat said...

@666

People won't pay you to go anywhere, but I'm sure they would pay you to stay away.

Jennmcn said...

@888 Someone has their cranky pants on this morning. Every state has it's good and bad. I live in Arizona now and it's pretty poor outside of Phoenix and Glendale. I grew up in Massachusetts, a small mill town when all the mills had shut down. I lived in the tourist trap of Wisconsin Dells. No frigging library to be found and there was no Amazon yet.

Lived in Sacramento and had a gun pulled on me twice, my car broken into twice and the house next door got burglarized during the day, when I was home. We didn't because of the dogs and we a security door; more for the cool breeze coming off the river.

I lived in Fern Park/Orlando area and Daytona Beach most of the people I met there were from somewhere else. There were great people and not so great people. But Sacramento had more tweakers and violent crime than anywhere I lived in Florida.

I lived in Grosse Pointe Michigan and that was really the most pleasant please I lived. It was an oasis just east of Detroit.

Florida, like Arizona has a reputation for being a paradise when you grow up in snowy weather. It's something we all dreamed of and the dream wasn't the reality.

Perhaps other states don't picked up on the wires for crazy shit like this so the impression is that crazy people live in Florida but they live everywhere. They just go undetected until the cray-cray wants more than her boyfriend is willing to give and the police get called. Plus Carl Haaisen isn't exactly fabulous for your tourist trade.

We have better gun laws in AZ. Shit, if Obama can walk AK-47's across the board to Mexico from AZ(and I can see Mexico from my house), get a boarder guard killed,then why cant we carry concealed or openly? Oh wait, we can. My son is on leave from the Marine Corps. for the next few days and we are trying to figure out when we can go to the range. My Retired Gunny husband got me a sweet S&W .40 cal for Christmas.

phoenix said...
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phoenix said...

As I was saying.. read 888's comments.

Generally speaking, northern Florida is more southern, and southern Florida is more northern, both in terms of population and attitude/thinking, with pockets of exceptions to that rule scattered here and there. That should help anyone considering moving here to begin narrowing the focus of their search some.