Friday, April 05, 2013

Blind Item #5

"It had been so long since I had sex with a guy who showered, didn't reek of smoke and booze and who could actually get it up that all I have been able to do since that day is smile." Foreign born C list actress/model telling her friend about her A++ list mostly movie actor ex.

64 comments:

StewMcG said...

Vanessa Paradis (sp?) talking about Johnny Depp

O'Really said...

Yes Stew...I believe you have it.

VIPblonde said...

Yep @Stew!!! And ew. Johnny is starting to lose his appeal

All about Eve said...

Yep! Vanessa. See Enty, this one should be labeled easy easy

TotallyDistracted said...

Depp - Cute but stinky

camembert said...

Obviously Vanessa. I'm sure it sounded even better in French.

I'm pretty sure she's super A+ list in France.

Unknown said...

Hmmm. Could also be bar Rafeli. BlindGossip had a reveal not to long ago about Leonardo DiCaprio being UBER smelly.

TotallyDistracted said...

Enty should have put Easy Easy Easy on this.

Count Jerkula said...

Whiskey dick is a terrible tragedy. Moderate use of substances can make sex oh so great, but cross that line of no return and it is all frustration, depression and self loathing.

The sole upside of the condition is that after the first time, you know it is pointless to woo the bar hag at closing time.

saycheese said...

halle barry pregnant!!!!!!

JoElla said...

"POP!"

And there goes what little fantasy I had left for Depp.

*sad*

Its just U said...

Vanessa Paradis, obviously.

LottaColada said...

Lol @ bar hag

ABlake said...

Is Vanessa an actress/model though? I thought she was more known for her singing.

Caitlin Bruce said...

This sounds like Gerard Butler (even though I personally love him) to me as he was going out with a model

mrjack said...

@The Count (ah ah ah)

I can attest to that. When you're young, you can drink all night and fuck til morning. Now it's a couple of JDs and my body betrays me.

LottaColada said...

@ABlake, wasn't she the face of Chanel?

Lucas said...

@Count & MrJack - right? It's a cruel joke, giving you all that awesomeness when you're too stupid to make the most of it.

Meanie Reese said...

Oh, this makes me so sad if it's JD. :(

msgirl said...

I know everyone is guessing Paradis but she's huge in France, and is known most as a singer. Not Depp.

Has Bar acted in anything?

ABlake said...

I just googled it Lotta, she sure is! (Happy Birthday :D)
I simply remember being jealous of the singer in France who snared Depp.

LottaColada said...

@Ablake, ah! I wasn't sure if it was Chanel or Dolce&Gabbana. Thank you sweety!

MAC said...

Well Halle and Oliver deserve each other, this should be a disaster.

mrjack said...

@Lucas - I managed to take the chance while I was young(er) - I'm 31 now and about 90% of the different people I slept with were between the ages of 15 and 22. Maybe I'm just knackered.

@Reese, it's not just JD. Sorry. Saying that my SO is 40 and he has the opposite problem. Sober = not interested, pissed = horny as hell.

curlyhairslacker said...

Oh, Johnny. You've been my longtime crush for decades, but lately I've been hearing too many smelly stories. :(

Oops, I was late on the Halle news. Sorry about that!

Wendy Davis said...
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Munch said...

@Lotta - she may be the face of Chanel but it'd have to be under a sackload of veils - she looks like she left out her dentures.

I've never understood the appeal. She can't sing, she's unknown as an actress outside France (has anyone here ever seen her in anything? I rest my case) and she's got an ugly/pretty face. Maybe she's a good listener... ;P

MontanaMarriott said...

That's funny coming from a French woman, not that I am saying they all stink but I recall my nights partying in Paris and the stink coming off of them as they sweat was horrid to say the least.

allisonwonderland said...

What about Petra Nemcova and Sean Peen? Didn't they get back togethe
r for a bit?

Candace T said...

Some of you people need to read the disclaimer at the bottom of this page that it's possible most of the stories here are FICTIONAL.

This can't be Depp becuz then we'd have to ignore entry's recent posts about Depp "having sex all the time" and "sleeping with everybody." If you can't get it up, you're not going to get that kind of action. He always looks like he has a hardon in pix.

*CAPTURE* Photography by Sarah said...

Well, we know Johnny likes his Tijuana hookers. Not everyone can keep up with a Tijuana hooker. HAHA!

mrjack said...

Everyone seems to love Johnny Depp but to me he's always been a skeeze who's full of himself. A bit like James Franco but apparently smellier.

MontanaMarriott said...

There are plenty of men who just cannot get it up for their partners/wives because it can have a lot to do with having the same ole thing over and over, but they can get it up for new experiences, sh*t my ex was like that lol.

And when all else fails there's a blue little pill that science created call VIAGRA lmao

Katie Cunningham said...

The fact that this happens to men makes it suck to be a woman. Since when you are partaking in substances all you want to do is bang and if he can't deliver ......aaaaahhhhhhhh. so mean!

Anna Nonymous said...

here here Kate!

Anna Nonymous said...

Vanessa was all smiles after her and Depp broke up. They were together a long time. He kept leaving to go do the pirate movies, she was in france most of the time, seems like a lonely life, staying home raising kids while you're husband travels, drinking and partying on his jet. I'd want out too.

caralw said...

Yeah, if this is meant to be Vanessa and JD she should be described as a singer/actress.

ABlake said...

I must say munch, I've been watching French films recently and they are TERRIBLE (at least the ones I've seen) with the exception of "A Loving Father" (Gerard and Guillame Depardeui) But I think that was only good because it hit really close to home with their real life father/son relationship. Also Guillame was yummy (may he RIP)

So I am not shocked you haven't heard about her acting career overseas. If the films I've been watching (and reading. Thank heavens for subtitles) are any indication, you aren't missing out.

Lucas said...

Now to be fair, ladies, a penis isn't the only weapon in a man's arsenal. Just because he's a got a bit of whiskey dick doesn't mean he should get off the hook.

ABlake said...

..except for the nudity. Those beautiful French folks aren't shy. No siree.

Fish said...

The model/actress bit makes me definitely thing of Vanessa and JD. However, my immediate response was that more obviously vile Sean Penn.

Joe Mama said...

What is this whiskey dick people speak of...If I get drunk, I end up going for hours, it's really quite annoying after a while...Ever had to fake 2 orgasms in one night as to not crush a poor womans ego?

Munch said...

@ABlake - I must confess to being a fan of Jean de Florette and Manon des Sources, loved them both. Also La Cage aux Folles and Jules et Jim. There are good actors in France, it's just that she isn't one of them.

I think she got her break by being a Lolita-type underage singer that appealed to middle aged men. She was a one-hit-wonder that disappeared off the radar then suddenly she pops up as JD's girlfriend. She doesn't seem to have done too badly out of a limited repertoire - she bagged an A list actor so she's set for life, even after they've split she's still the mother of his kids.

Still looks like she's lost her dentures though.

FrenchGirl said...

Vanessa Oaradis is A + list singer/actress and sometimes model in France and i don't buy that she talked on Johnny Depp with these words

ABlake said...

Munch, my eccentric neighbor told me of a comedic french actor who I should check out (old school) kind of like a Mr. Bean type who doesn't really incite things, they just happen around him (like he's standing next to a fire alarm and it goes off, through no actions of his own comedy ensues) perhaps you or FrenchGirl would know? Because for the life of me I don't remember the name he tossed out and like I said..he's eccentric. I don't want to go knock on his door to ask and have eggs thrown at me.

I will certainly check out your faves, though. I love the french language, it's so soothing to listen to.

Sherry said...

Gentlemen : The Opster drinks AND smokes and so far we have been lucky to avoid issues that can arise( no pun) from both those bad habits. Not bragging at all because we have discussed our good fortune many a time. It's gonna catch up with us eventually we know.

Munch said...

@ABlake. I wonder if your neighbour was talking about Louis de Fun├Ęs? He was a hugely famous comedic actor in France. Very mobile face, very physical comedy.

Sherry said...

Ablake I know who you're speaking of but I can't remember his name either. Jean Dujardin of "The Artist " fame is also a superb comedic actor. And there's loads of wonderful French films out there. They invented the millieu! (Hope I'm using the word correctly.)

Sherry said...

To add I wish I could think of some to recommended so you'd find the bliss as well. My memory ain't what it used to be.

Celimene said...

ABlake, could it have been Jacques Tati? Had to watch one of his films for a seminar on comedy in college. Sounds like it may be him.

Tara said...

City of Lost Children is great

Tara said...

City of Lost Children is great

PotPourri said...

Depp takes baths. He is not offensive like that. God this blind has Matthew McCon all over it, but they are still together.

Count Jerkula said...

@Joe Mama: You described what happens to me with a good buzz on. Stumble drunk with beer goggles working to full effect and it is much like the safety on a fire arm, helps keep me from making mistakes.

ABlake said...
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ABlake said...

You all absolutely ROCK!

I will check on all of this and let you know. I'm currently in love with French cinema so to have recommendations of things that are great is wonderful. Thank you thank you!! Also on the comedian, checking those guys out.
Thank you again <3

Hegg said...

Yep Vanessa. Dude is constantly drunk. Even during filming.

Sherry said...

That's it. Celimene. Jaques Tati!!

Dani said...

Really?!? That's not the only thing he can use? Tell me more, please...in detail. ;)

MalibuBarbie said...

This should've been labeled 'easy, easy'. It's clearly Depp and Paradis. His drinking, smoking and being a bit 'challenged' when it comes to hygiene, preceeds him. Paradis is really known more as a model/actress, as she was pretty much a one-hit wonder as a singer, with 'Joe Le Taxi' - and while she is higher than C-list in France, I think Enty's speaking about her ranking in the U.S..

Tina Mallette said...

with French cinema it is certainly different, often raw which is something missing in most American cinema, and it just depends on the movie and one's tastes.

To me a great French movie you have to see one with Vincent Cassell and Monica Bellucci [husband and wife now] called Irreversible. Vincent Cassell is a brilliant chameleonic actor. I had dismissed Bellucci as an Italian bimbo until I saw this film. Very brutal movie. Not everyone's cup of tea.

babo said...
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babo said...

Vanessa Paradis got her massive hit with "Joe le Taxi" when she was 14. Lots of Lolita hair flipping with a sultry voice. She was looked upon by the industry (I remember her performing live at an awards ceremony and she was booed big time, must have been hard).
She made an album written by Serge Gainsbourg. She had a few songs that worked: a stupid ballad about Marilyn and Kennedy and a cover from "Walk on the wild side" both made with not much originality or talent but a lot of sultry voice
At the time, she was dating a French singer, Florent Pagny (he s still around, he s a judge for the French version of The Voice), bit of a bad boy attitude, floppy hair, leather jacket, ... She started acting, her biggest success was Noce Blanche, where she was playing, guess what, a sultry lolita.
After Pagny, she switched to Lenny Kravitz, with whom she made an album with "Be my baby" as the single (you got the memo, mediocre text, sultry voice)
And then Johnny Depp met her at the Pershing Bar in Paris and the rest belong to hygiene history.
Morality of the story: a sultry voice, gap teeth and a waify body can go a long way in this world. I kind of regret she never had a real good song.

luna midden said...

Ok, I am late on the comment side, but, guys... don't take a shower for days, WEEKS?? don't bother with the teeth brushing? SMOKING! DRINKING! and they (i.e. Pitt, Depp, for just a FEW EXAMPLES!!!) ARE SEX SYMBOLS!!!! A WOMAN-if she has even a little bit of sweat stains, deodorant fails, wakes up late and her hair is greasy (even just a little bit)-she is called a slob, pig, gross, etc. Men can be messy can be sexy, but not women. But, I will admit-we can see the GREASE, DIRT, ON PITT, DEPP, but THANKFULLY-WE CANNOT SMELL THEM!