Thursday, April 04, 2013

Ryan Lochte Wants To Be Like Kim Kardashian

In case you have not noticed, former Olympic gold medal swimmer, Ryan Lochte has a new show set to debut on E!. In an interview with The Hollywood reporter promoting the show, Ryan said that he wanted to be as famous as Kim Kardashian and that she is his role model for fame and success. Considering that Ryan is about as smart as a box of rocks and everything else that he has tried other than swimming has been a failure, this should be interesting to watch. Ryan says that he loves when people recognize him and that he hopes more people will recognize him and that someday that he can be at the same level of fame as Kim without actually having to film a sex tape. He also would like the money Kim earns too. Honestly, the guy sounds like the tooliest tool of tool town and all those things I have heard where he is having sex multiple times a day with multiple women would not surprise me after reading the interview.

55 comments:

VIPblonde said...

That picture looks like he's trying reeeeeeallly hard to form a thought

Karen said...

He's so stupid that I don't even dislike him. It would be like hating a rock.

Who do you think he'll get to pee on him in the sex tape?

Meanie Rhysie said...

So, he's gonna make a pegging vid?

Is this douchetastic day or something?

Sarah said...

I didn't think I could find a celebrity more repugnant and less interesting than Kim Kardashian.

All about Eve said...

Considering how dumb he sounds as soon as he opens his mouth, he's well on his way to being the male Kim K. And yuck! Wouldn't touch this douche for any amount of money.

greenmountaingal said...

I guess he's planning on getting peed on on tape then.

All about Eve said...

@Karen, lol!! Hating a rock!!

EmEyeKay said...

Tooliest Tool of Tooltown!

Squee!

Meanie Rhysie said...

@EmEyeKay: I totally read that in sing-song!

I'm still chuckling at hating a rock. Just can't do it, can ya? LOL

dia papaya said...

Reese! OMG! It's too early for pegging (at least my brain thinks so)

He does have a mighty fine body! And those abs... well, dayum!!! A girl needs a little fun. I can ignore the dumbness for an hour or so.

I thought he looked constipated in this photo. I just scrolled up and chopped off his head. Abs and pects only today, people! Damn! Now I sound like I need my own room after all the romance talk from yesterday.

auntliddy said...

Wants to be like kim? Get pregnant and wear ugly clothes? Uh, ok.

Unknown said...

It would be so much better if he didn't talk. I could look at him all day - but when he opens his mouth - I really lose all interest and wish for someone to pee on him to shut him up...

mynerva said...

He is like her. They're both into water sports.

Lucas said...

@Mynerva - Ha! Good one.

LottaColada said...

NEVER did I think we would find the male Jessica Simpson. I thought it wasn't possible to really be that dumb.

Pip said...

I would imagine life is easy when you're as stupid as he is.

mmshukla008 said...

Can douching be considered a water sport?

Wen said...

UGH! Ryan, you are dead to me!

Robert said...

A Monty Python quote "His problem is that there is a small particle of brain embedded in his skull." At least it allows him to be up front about what he really wants!

Comma Chaser said...

God, this dude is dumb.

EmEyeKay said...

@Meanie, me too!

Izzie said...

Y'all are on fire today!! Thanks for the early morning giggles!

Tra-la-la-la, the tooliest tool of tool town!

figgy said...

I knew I despised him as soon as I saw his interview where he showed his shoes that leave the footprint spelling out his name.

Izzie said...

Oh my goodness, this guy really IS dumber than a box of rocks. But here's my favorite quote:"Kim started from pretty much nothing, and now everyone everywhere knows who she is.... Today, she's huge."

Indeed.

thoushaltnotgossip said...

no brains, no headaches...

Agent**It said...

VIP, yes!!!:)

Pip said...

Izzie, I sorta feel bad for him more than anything. It's hard to dislike an adult who has the mind of a ten year old.

Anonymous said...

God, I pity the human race sometimes. Cuz if this mensa member is having sex multiple times a day with multiple women you know that some of them are going to get knocked up. What about this guy is attractive? Maybe he should just date Kim? When did super stupid become the norm????

La Descarada said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
mynerva said...

Puggle, I know plenty of 10 year olds that are smarter than this guy. But I don't hate him either. Although if he's going to model himself on Queen Heffa that might change.

La Descarada said...

Damn my nails, iPhone, typos and auto correct!!

Of course he can be as famous as she is. Except that he'll have to out do her video so he best prepare himself for some serious ass-to-ass

Sherry said...

Laughing my ass off at the "tooliest tool of tool town". That is comedy gold right there!

The thing about Ryan is he's lucky stupid. What's lucky stupid you ask? That's where he doesn't realize just how dumb he is and all the teasing in the world will never hurt his feelings. He just won't get that he's the butt of the joke.

MISCH said...

He wants to be a hooker ?

Patty said...

Eh, he's so dumb it takes him two hours to watch 60 Minutes.

OKay said...

Wow. Good thing he's pretty. That will TOTALLY last and see him through the rest of his life!

rexruther said...

How can you say he's contributed nothing to the world except swimming?! Ill have you know we use his "Jeah!" Trademarked phrase allllll of the time in our house.

I'm gonna watch his show just to see how much Gainesville has changed since I was there.

Maja With a J said...

"I was America in the Olympics".

hunter said...

tooliest tool of tool town, ha ha ha!!!

auntliddy said...

Maja, thats gold, lol

Maja With a J said...

It's all I can think of whenever I see this dingdong's name...*L*

stephenk said...

@Karen OMG I literally died laughing at your comment!

lc said...

NO COMMENT. My mama taught me this; ''If you don't have anything nice to say, then shut it''
He is a good swimmer, not one of the best, but he is not reality show material.
I have to physically remove myself from my keyboard now.....

PugsterMom said...

The irony is he reminds me of Mr. Kris Jenner, the guy that used to be Bruce Jenner. I remember when Bruce tried to parlay his sports fame into other fame but he was so freaking boring that he flopped. And as for women, he dumped the woman that sacrificed everything to support his Olympic dreams... well, you all know the rest.

Anonymous said...

Tooliest tool of tool town .... Yes

Gabriella Oravetz said...

I would be willing to try to f' the stupid out of him. Purely on a scientific basis, of course.

lostathome said...

I feel like his stomach is trying to speak to me.

I went to school with one of his exes. She was a couple grades ahead of me so I didn't know her well and it was years after she graduated.

Jazzy said...

If he could get Phelps, I'd watch it. Oooh, it could be called "The Race to Gold". Synopsis: The Olympian with the most gold medals is giving the ultimate golden shower... Obviously I've thought way too long and hard about this.

rocketyank said...

I'd touch him for a penny. He's sexy as fuck, I don't care how stupid he is. That body. That face.

rocketyank said...

I'd touch him for a penny. He's sexy as fuck, I don't care how stupid he is. That body. That face.

Sandy said...

Not for nothing did Lochte play a "Sex Idiot" on 30 Rock. One might think he was in on that joke, but apparently one would be wrong.

What a moron. Kardashian is your role model? I suppose she's a worthy model if all you want is money and constant vilification from intelligent people with taste.

Go for it, Ryan!

feraltart said...

People can help ignorant, they can't help stupid. We are all born with different capabilities.

Del Riser said...

He has pretty eyes, and wonderful shoulders, nice upper abs.

He is interesting to watch when interviewed because he is just totally blissfully ignorant!

He will have a good time, maybe a nice life, maybe even keep some of the money he makes. He will never, ever realize that people are laughing at him not with him.

I kind of feel sorry for him, and kind of envy his "what me worry?"
version of a life.

__-__=__ said...

Thank you La Descarda! I knew there would be ass2ass in this post!

Bluezz said...

I must be officially old. I have no desire to hit it. This tool's Jeah crap & narcissistic shoes really got to me. But it was the wearing of that damn jewel-encrusted grill on the podium that pissed me off.

I remember when going to the Olympics was an honor. Now, it's not only about excelling at your sport, it's about how much bling-bling you can bring to the table & really make your personality shine. Blech.

I thought competing against elite athletes from all over the world & hopefully winning a gold medal for your Country was what the Olympics were about.

I. Am. Officially. Old. And. Cranky.

Lelaina Pierce said...

Ha, was coming to say the same thing, Maja. :)
I really don't know much about this kid other than what I read here, but safe to say Seth MacFarlane nailed that impression. "I give it six swims."

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