Friday, May 17, 2013

Justin Bieber Has To Pay For His Monkey

Remind me again why Justin Bieber thought it would be a great idea to get a monkey. When he reaches puberty and is not selling any records anymore and the only venues he plays generally have the word casino in their title, he will probably wonder how he could have squandered all of his money. One of the reasons is by buying a ridiculous number of cars considering he can only drive one at a time. The other is by buying a monkey and then abandoning it in Munich when it had to be quarantined. Now the German government wants Bieber to pay for the care of the monkey for the past two months. Bieber just says to pass the monkey off to a zoo, you know, because they wanted a monkey they didn't ask for and would love to take care of it for the next 20 years because some spoiled brat didn't think ahead.

42 comments:

Sherry R. said...

I hate him.

auntliddy said...

He should get a jackass so he has someone to talk to. Idiot.

Sugar said...

I hate him so much for this.

Renoblondee said...

Asshole.

MontanaMarriott said...

He is going to need that monkey and an accordion to help him peddle for coins on the streets several years from now, lol

Topper Madison said...

I want a monkey, but they throw poop.

NapAssasin said...

I almost want to continually tweet him I hate him so much but I'm a lot more worried about hormonal 13 year olds than his tiny ass.

Beiber- free June Enty.

librariantobe said...

Would I be a horrible person if I admit I laughed at MontanaMarriott's comment? Like, a lot?

J Sara said...

Asshat. Total lack of responsibility. And he sure as fuck can afford it

chumsley said...

The monkey totally dodged a bullet. It's probably better off not having to stay with the biebs.

Sugar said...

I'm just back to reiterate how much I hate this vile, self absorbed brat. He better donate huge sums of money to that zoo too.

MAC said...

He is a self absorbed brat, but I thought the monkey was given to him as a gift, then it got confiscated in Germany?

JoElla said...

@librariantobe nope, because I am laughing and snorting at that comment.

Karrots said...

@Montana

Hands down one of the best comments I have read in a long time, LMAO!

chopchop said...

Did anyone else giggle like a 14-year-old at the headline?

DewieTheBear said...

@MontanaMarriott, comment of the day.

I have the audition reel from "Cabin Boy" running through my head now. "Would you like to a buy monkey? Would you like to a donkey? What's the matter, you don't like monkeys?"

(From Letterman's stint hosting the Oscars.)

Cookies said...

I did too!! : D

Tyger Lilly said...

No, Sugar, he needs to learn that money shouldn't be able to excuse his stupidity every time.

I think PETA should take a break from throwing paint on fur-wearing women and airbrushing naked celebs for a month and THEY should dress up like monkeys everywhere he goes and fling poop at him. Once someone explains to him that PETA is an animal-rights group and not the flatbread people & the poop-flinging is not a commentary on his sh*tty music or fashion choices MAYBE he'll get a clue.

MelTheLibrarian said...

I hate that this little bitch was able to get a monkey in the first place. I feel sorry for the monkey because it was so easily left behind by this douche, but at the same time I am glad that it might have the chance it have a better life if it is transferred to a zoo and taken care of during its life. I will say that I think this little douche should pay for the months of quarantine the monkey had to undergo, as well as any money needed to transfer the monkey over to the zoo. And lastly, fuck you Bieber!

Cindy said...

Maybe he thought the monkey would be his "Bubbles the chimp"

Nicola Gossips said...

Shouldn't we hate the loser music producer who gifted Bieber the monkey while he was in the middle of a world tour? What did that grown ass man think would happen to the animal?

Gayeld said...

No, you would not.

Anna Nonymous said...

some dumbass at a label gave it to him. Poor little baby monkey,,, and I read it was taken away from it's Mommy monkey way too soon... I'd like to slap him and the guy that gave it to him for doing this to a poor defenseless little baby critter.

MontanaMarriott said...

LOL, Thanks @Dewie & Karrots

erika said...

i HATE HATE HATE him. i hope he visits Hell for this.

or...I hope Karma comes back to bite his lezzy, skinny ass so hard.

baby monkey, you're gonna be OK, I promise. The Germans have strict rules, you will be taken to the right place sweetheart.

Gayeld said...

@Nicola. Yes, we should. That was a pretty bonehead thing to do. But I suspect the only thing he cared about was getting in good with Justina.

Phillygrrl said...

+1. He belongs in the zoo the way he behaves. It's disgraceful.

Pini 27 said...

I remember 'Enty' reporting someone gave the monkey to him. That's Enty's problem, he can't report something effed up and just leave it alone, he's got to embellish it.

He looks plenty bad just abandoning the poor thing. Really, with his resources, he could have given it to a preserve when that jackass gave it to him and milked some great publicity out of it. I don't give the kid much credit for altruism for altruism's sake.

nudibelle said...

what an asshole

NaughtyNurse said...

I can't stand Bieber, but maybe his publicity team created the whole "quarantined in Germany" story so that they could donate the poor animal that was so thoughtlessly given to him without damaging their business relationship with the moron record executive.

Sugar said...

True! Not to excuse but to at least help make it better monetarily speaking. What a douche he is! And fuck the dude that gave it to him. Hate his ass too.

Cecilia00 said...

They should tell him he will be denied entry into Germany until he pays for the care and perhaps even makes a decent donation to the zoo that takes it.

All that concert money from Berlin Munich Frankfurt...GONE. His people will make sure the bill gets paid, trust me.

Lola said...

@auntliddy... Why do you want to inflict that kind of pain on some poor, innocent jackass?

Zeeky_Boogy_Doog said...

This whole thing sucks. I hate irresponsible pet owners! Why would someone give a guy, in the middle of a tour, an exotic pet that needs specific care? Even if the tour wasn't leaving the country, how the hell is it OK to throw an animal into that environment? And who the hell gives exotic pets as unsolicited gifts?

Diana G said...

He makes me sick.

Kenneth said...

Great parenting beiber's mom

Alita said...

@Tyger Lilly - I'm down with anything that gets poop thrown at Bieber. Having those PETA gits dressed up as monkeys is just the cream.

B Smears said...

You deserve a high five for this comment.

Massive G said...

Please just ignore this asshole until he goes away.

Carolyn said...

Montana's comment was hilarious!

Tara said...

What happens to rabid tweener fans when they grow up? Will Beliebers be at all chagrined when they grow up or are they all too brain damaged?

Scallywag said...

All I can think here is:

"Now's the time on Sprokets when we dance..."