Tuesday, February 13, 2018

Your Turn

Have you ever had a stalker?

87 comments:

Former CNN Anchor Candy Crowley said...

Friday is National Jamaican Hairstyle Day. I'm already dreading it.

spacecowboy78 said...

Hahaha. Yes, not fun. Made me realize it's good not to be famous.

Brayson87 said...

Strange coincidence, first one was a Jamaican girl.

Farmgirl said...

Yes. Two.
Ditched one.
Married the other.

Desi Derium said...

Yes. For people who think this stuff can’t happen to a guy...it can. I was spooked by the sound of a ringing telephone for quite a while after it.

sandybrook said...

Uh no...

Bubble said...

Besides pedos in front of elementary/junior/high schools or including them? Lmao one tried to break into my bedroom at boarding school when I was 16, but they called the police and never saw him again lol.

Katrina's Voice said...

Yes. It is truly more horrifying than you can imagine - and although mine happened over a decade ago, it still makes me feel ill to recall the experience today.

Snit said...

Yes and it's scary.

plot said...

Yes. He skulked around my house for ages after drinking heavily with his buddies. He finally broke in and retreated when I threw everything in the kitchen at him. The canned goods were especially fun. He left in a haze of flour, too. Called the cops and made in incident report. Told his friends and he backed off. Bet he called me the "crazy bitch" in his retelling.

Elle Kaye said...

Yes and I had the BEST stalker. I moved to LA and then came back after six months, ran in to a friend and told me guy followed me out and kept tabs on me through some guys who hung out at the night club where I worked but he was picked up for shoplifting at a Walmart so when I came home, he didn’t. Hahah. He was cute but so very stupid.

one_eyed_bob said...

No... apparently I was never stalk-worthy

D CHAPMAN said...

Yes, and at Church, even
So Creepy, I'd be there with my kids, minding them and look up, OOOH, so creepy

Count Jerkula said...

Yes, wound up bangin the crazy lil bimbo for a decade.

David Howes said...

No, Thank God!

And I've never thought anyone that important to stalk, either!

Cuddlebutt said...

Yes, two. One was an ex that embedded himself in nearly all aspects of my life. I became extremely isolated. My mother, most of my friends (except one), classmates thought he was great and so generous. He befriended even the slightest of acquaintances. He even sucked up to my fucking horses. He eventually ran off with a married friend of my mom's that was also a friend of mine. The other one was a married patient. I barely remembered him. He called me repeatedly at work and I told him repeatedly that I was not interested-I was in a relationship and had a new baby. He got my home phone and called many times with a private/blocked number until I blocked those types of calls. He kept at it until I had my boyfriend call his wife. He called once more to threaten me but then left me alone. He was a manager/director of the DMV.

Her said...

Yes. If it hadn't been for a locked Plexi glass door I wouldn't be here right now.

Raging Bunnies said...

Yes. And genuine.
Not cool.

Samantha Willow said...

Yes, several. None were fun, unfortunately, but I'm still alive.

Boldblonde said...

Yes, a couple. Not fun at all.

Barbara RiceHand said...

@plot. Good job on calling the police. Such courage. Glad it stopped.
Sorry for everyone else on here who had a stalker, too.

Kikibunny said...

I once had one who met me at a job interview and somehow got all my info from the application...i hate giving out personal info on any kind of application.

Cornbread said...

Yes, when I was 19. A guy I'd met at college and dated briefly. Constantly showing up at my classes, place of work, reaching out to my friends. When I moved three hours away, he showed up there, too. Always changing his phone number so I'd answer (I wasn't bright enough at the time to just change my own). Went on for about three years, even after I married my now husband. He occasionally tries to contact me via social media even today.

plot said...

No, it really wasn't courage. I wish it was.

He woke me up first in my bedroom so I was pretty groggy. He tried to climb on top of me but I told him I really needed some water first (before our "romantic" trysting) and he followed me into the kitchen. Suddenly, I woke up in the kitchen and was fucking terrified/angry. I threw the glass of water at him first, turned over the kitchen table and started slinging anything that came to hand. I think I might have screamed "do you want me to get a gun to put a cap in your ass" but that might be my memory turning myself into a badass. I wasn't. I was in a cold sweat and only knew to keep him the fuck away from me in any way possible.

He was harmless, I told myself, why upset people. We had mutual friends, I told myself, he wouldn't jeopardize the group. We've worked together, I told myself, he's not going to threaten his job. He'll find someone else soon, I told myself, passing the buck onto someone else - yeah, how BRAVE of me. In retrospect, I should have called the cops and made a stink as soon as he started lurking around. I never informed our mutual professional contacts either.

But can't you just hear his excuses to our mutual friends - I was finally in her bedroom and the bitch when crazy! At least it might have scared anyone else who heard his story and knew crazy bitches file police reports and tell them where you live.

HoneyRiot said...

When I worked at Circuit City (obviously this is way back in the day) I was only 22 and I had a weirdo old man practically hunt me down in the store and now leave me alone. I complained to management and they didn't take me seriously. They also made us park in far away spots in a huge parking lot and I was become afraid to walk to my car. So, I quit my job.

Unknown said...

Yup. Ex I dated in college. Last I heard from him, he threatened me with legal action through a MySpace message a few months after I graduated from college and moved back home (only way he could contact me) because I had sent another of his exes (who was just as crazy as he was) a link to a website where she could anonymously rate him (one of those obscure man-hater websites, I was just trying to give her a safer method of venting, so he should have thanked me) because he thought it was damaging to his public reputation. I responded that his case was completely bogus and that if he sued me, I’d file a cross complaint for harassment. That shut him up and I haven’t heard from him since. I still got jumpy for a good couple of years whenever I saw someone who looked like him.

Newbomb said...

I've had the regular amount for someone of my looks and character.

hothotheat said...

Yes. We met in college. Afterwards he stalked me. Even went so far as to send mail/post cards addressed to my dog.

Ice Angel said...

Yes. He was a cop. Really good looking but in a super creepy kind of way. Think Ray Liotta in Unlawful Entry without the acne. He used to come into the bar I worked at and flirt with me and was always staring at me. He was one of those guys where you had a really hard time breaking from his stare when he spoke to you. And I had to talk to him. He asked me out several times, and I told him I had a boyfriend but wouldn't take no for an answer. He actually showed up at my house one day and my boyfriend was there and he got really pissed because he thought I was cheating on him.

Anyway, the more I resisted him the meaner he got to me. He apparently found out I was arrested one night for an outstanding warrant and I was really drunk and crying (I wasn't driving-just drunk and emotional.) He would threaten to tell my bosses and spread the word around town (I also had a job coaching young children at the time) and I used to lose sleep over it.

He must have eventually found someone else because he eventually stopped coming in and I never heard from him again.

Carolina Prado said...

yes, I was only 13 at the time and he was 17. It was horrible, an absolute nightmare... we rode at the same barn and he'd stalk me, steal the ribbons from my horse's stall where I kept them and collect my belongings inside his locker. He once threw me inside the horse's water fountain because I was wearing competition white breeches and he wanted to see the color of my underwear.
Being 13 was already weird enough, transitioning from a kid - and I was still pretty much a kid at heart- to a teen was awkward, the body changes, and having this POS guy creeping around, groping and harassing me made things even worse.
When I told my dad what was going on he went to the boy's parents to talk but they encouraged his behavior saying it was adorable how their son "loved me". The conversation ended with my dad threatening to file a restraining order since I was a minor and protected by law. The next day his mother gave me a letter he'd written me, saying I was "the sexiest woman he had ever seen" and how much he was in love with me. It made me vomit, it really did.
Not only I wasn't sexy, but I was most def NOT a woman but still a teen trying to feel comfortable in my own skin, which was difficult while always feeling targeted.
It all ended when they moved to a different barn, and by that time when the maintenance guy went up to clean the creep's locker, he found a whole bunch of my stuff, including pictures and a sweater.

Kendrick Schroder said...

Yes, by Elvis, back in the 80s when I was a teen.

Kno Won Uno said...

Yes. I quit a job because of inappropriate behavior by the CEO towards me. Small company, he was the chief of everything and had lots of lawyers.
I resigned effective immediately on a Friday after he’d left for the day & packed up my office & left.
He freaked out & called & emailed until I changed my phone number & email address...he heard about where I got my next job (90 Miles away) and called, emailed relentlessly. Yada yada....more stuff happened.
When I changed jobs two years later, he harassed the place I just left, screaming at them to tell him where I was.
The new job was in a huge company with many buildings on a vast compound.
Even after he found out I worked there, he couldn’t get to me without a card swipe.
I now live 1400 miles away and hope he gave up.
I never use my name on social media except Facebook and that’s completely locked except for my family who knows about him.
For 15 years, I looked for him around every corner, carries mace & an illegal stun gun. It’s awful & consumes your life.
The entire time he was terrorizing me he was a ‘happily married’ family man and highly regarded pillar of the community. You know the type.
Crazy bastard is what he is.

Brooklyn Girl said...

Yes. Twice, and it is the most hoffifying experience.
There are a lot of crazies out there, and you don't have to do anything to have one of them fixate on you.

Me Again said...

Oh, yes. It was horrifying. The guy slashed my car tires, broke into my apartment (and put all these drawings of slit wrists and roses in blood - he was a talented artist-but ewww). He would not leave me aloe for years after the one date (where nothing happened). I still carry a big stick in my car and have a plastic lemon full of ammonia that I carry with me. He pops up every now and then and it has been 25 years.

Brooklyn Girl said...

Horrifying.

Lisa said...

Yes and it was in high school. When I went to the principal about it, I was told "Why don't you just go out with him? He'll back off if you'd just go out with him."

I didn't WANT to go out with him- I wanted protection. After a hellish rest of my senior year, my older siblings took care of it graduation night. Funny enough, I never saw him again.

CityGirl said...

Yes - followed me everywhere, broke into my car, my apt, vandalized both, stole items from both, showed up at my job, my apt, my night school....ended with physical abuse one very bad, gun shooting night with the assistance of bystanders who called the police.....he went to jail for less than a year.

Brayson87 said...

Never understood stalker logic, no advice column ever suggested harassing/terrorizing someone to get them to like you. Seems like a stepping stone to serial killing.

Tricia13 said...

Yes . Here.............

Muriel Allen said...

Not that I know about. Thank god. It sounds terrifying,

David Howes said...

Wow!

Such sad stalking stories here.

So much stalking going on.

And the bottom line is stalking someone is actually invalidating the person being stalked (the victim).

You are actually being a bully when you stalk another person.

So sad.

plot said...

The experiences on here are truly terrifying.

@Brayson

Look at all the movies telling guys to keep pursuing the girl, no matter what, and you will get your reward. How many TV shows dishonestly show a couple in a blissful relationship after stalkerish behavior on either end? A whole lot.

My stalker was handsome as hell (I was sort of mesmerized by him when I first met him.) He slept with whomever he wanted, had a good job...but liked to drink a LOT. He started showing up when I was easing out of a hard partying group (you know, the one after school where everyone is trying to relive the halcyon days of Junior year?) I found other places to hang out, other friends who liked other things, and suddenly he showed up at my new hang out. Twice. Once before and once after his break in. The time after was not pretty.

Whatever hole in his psyche caused him to start looking for me, and hanging around my house, must have been deep and ugly. Maybe other women let him get away with that sort of thing - showing up at their houses while drunk. Maybe he kept expecting me to invite him in (nudge nudge.) I don't know. But when he jimmied the lock and broke in, that crossed the line.

auntliddy said...

My sympathies to all the victims here. Being a stalking victim sounds awful.

Kate K said...

Plastic lemon full of ammonia is now my favorite thing ever.

Jean Grey said...

Yes... Quite a few... But this one kid I went to high school with wins the award. He stalked me for ... Drum roll... 10 years. He would just pop up and follow me. I had to pretend I was psychotic in the end so that he can leave me alone. And no, I didn't lead him on to believe a darn thing. He just had this imagine and my life planned out according to his will. Scart cheap.

Jean Grey said...

Scary crap**

stillhere said...

I worked at a convenience store/deli while going to college in a small town. There was a at-risk youth who would come in to say hi and chat. (people do that at gas stations) I was kind to him and I would joke around with him some. All very innocent. Nothing that would be construed as flirting. He was in and out of the boys home and had a difficult home life. He followed me home and came into my house without asking. I had to kick him out and yell at him. I'm sure I handled it terribly. I was pretty young, scared and didn't want him to think it was okay. It scared me because I would stay during breaks to work and my roommates always went home. The town would be pretty empty. I never had a car and I would sometimes walk home at night. It was just weird because he didn't seem like a bad kid but he had been incarcerated for so much of his young life, I didn't know what he thought was right and wrong. After reading this, I have decided I am lucky to have made it through college alive. This sounds like an episode of 48 Hours.

Unknown said...

One was an (now-ex) boyfriend. I was young, around 18, living in the big city and thought I was hot stuff because an older guy (28) showed interest in me. I was the worst experience of my life. It got so bad that my mom and dad had to hatch a plan to move me from the city to the county just to get away from this guy. But he popped up again as usual. I think I got to the point that I just got tired of being scared all the time and I remember saying to him that I didn't care what he did anymore and I wasn't gonna take his shit. I paid for it but was stronger. Haven't seen him in 15 years. Ran into him when I went downtown. He said "hey stranger" and reached for a hug. I gave him the finger, turned my back, walked away and wasn't scared at all...best day of my life!

Also, it's sad how many of us have these stories.

Squee said...

Here's some online safety tips:
1. Don't use your real name
2. Don't disclose where you live
3. Don't use a picture of yourself as your avatar
4. Never post pictures of your children.

Mango said...

Yes, and it made me fanatical about obsessively locking my car doors, house doors, windows. Installed motion detector lights on outside. Had to keep interior lights on all night for a couple of years. Changed my email address (that was a pain), and refused to engage in social media. I still don't use Facebook, Twitter, etc. Had weapons stashed around my house and carried pepper spray on my keychain. He was arrested on another charge and left me alone after awhile, but I didn't feel safe until I moved to the other coast.

@ Tricia13: I remember when you were doxxed here on CDAN. That was really malicious and intrusive.

There were some really nasty trolls here for a while. I remember once, (maybe 5-6 years ago?) when a troll posted a link to a photo of some foul something or other about another poster on her computer (literally a photo of her computer screen), and she didn't realize that her reflection was captured on her screen. I don't recall what it was she posted, but I do remember how someone pointed out her reflection. She deleted the post but not before a few people captured the photo. The troll looked like someone's benign librarian or mother-in-law, but she was vicious. Maybe the Count recalls it.

Lurkey Loo said...

Yes. A car repairman. He got all my info off the invoice. Started with disgusting phone calls then showed up in my backyard one night. I was terrified and made multiple police reports. This was before stalking laws and they kept saying there was nothing they could do. Until a female officer took a report and saw how terrified I was. She said she would take care of it. I don’t know what she did but it stopped.

rosie riveter said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ true
It would of been funny if it wasn't so over the top. I've never seen jealousy at that level

rosie riveter said...

Maybe it was @Talkstoomuch, she was trolled til she left.
I can't believe I remember that name, but it just looked into my head.

alliebabycat said...

3 possibly 4. 2 at the same time. 1 gave my anonymous flowers in vday at work and would break into my apt. 1 was an ex. 1 left me notes on my apt dooor- in a different city and years later- saying they had been watching me thru my window and made them realize they were a lesbian. Good times

Sd Auntie said...

Scary stories. I've had a peeping Tom, worked with Henry Hubbard-cop/rapist in the 80's and he was such a mean,rude MF. I used to carry mace too. One ex would harrass me via phone, showing up on doorstop but not in a mean manner. I would change my number and moved to another part of town. With my job, stalkers galore in the 90's. Usually fresh out of prison or mentally ill. Police visited one of these men due to graphic obscene messages left on my phone. Perverted coworker did the same. I'm always on the lookout!

Goddess said...

Yes. Unfortunately it escalated to the point where I had to involve the police. Very scary.

rosie riveter said...

Omg you're a woman.
Hmm. Well color me disappointed

Violet said...

Been phone-stalked and chat-stalked. That was scary enough.

Scandi Sanskrit said...

But Tricia, did you ever figure out exactly which celeb triggered the stalking with you here? Because I know you guess very often and correctly.

I only made one comment about one person (a celeb that is off-limits to criticise, he's treated like a "saint" in certain fandoms—people seem to have a blind spot when it comes to this guy, but he makes my skin crawl, i find him creepy, and my gut keeps telling me he's all kinds of wrong). And next thing you know, I have at least two accounts tailing me on this site (two are regular, I two more including one that left me a subtle death treat followed by constant references of murders made to like suicides/accidents).

What actually ended up happening tho, was I got hit so scared I just said things I was too afraid to say in the past in case I died.

I'm scared to travel and we're both away (I'm in Asia and you're in the Carribeans) which would've been fine until I remembered someone sent me fireworks on my birthday in 2016 (when I drove into my neighbourhood's gate, they just went off).

I think someone hired a troll farm after I made taht comment. They changed their behaviour after Enty posted about troll farms & I commented about their patterns.

Two of them were posting triggers (everything's fair game: taunting how my illness impacted my sex life, even triggering eating disorder relapses). It's been crazy.

Interestingly enough, when I didn't post anything for 24 hours on February 13, they didn't post anything either.

Scandi Sanskrit said...

This is the biggest misconception about stalkers: it's not really about us (the victims and whether or not we're "stalk-worthy" or intresting enough). The event if stalking says more about the stalker (and what's going on in their minds/life, etc).

Dorina Montego said...

yea right now

a former friend furious with me for no reason

he s stalking me everywhere and asking me back his dog
a catahoula dog he had with cancer after years hunting hogs

he doesnt want the dog but he knows it s my weak point

my friends told me to g to police cause in my country - Argentina- the violence is too common in situations like this ...

Scandi Sanskrit said...

Thank you. πŸ’›

Court b said...

Several, starting from a very, very young age. Some harmless, some much more scary. One specifically started with me selling a guy a shirt, no different then buying a cheeseburger from McDonald's. Sold him a shirt, two years later, calling my new job from jail, telling me he named his cat after me then the letters, then moving in to an apartment 20 feet from where I worked, then showing up,the pacing, past my window ... years! So many crazy customers as a young bartender. I was pretty, curvy, long blond hair, confident, but I wasn't skinny, so all these guys thought they had a real shot, like they were doing me the favor, and if I wasn't taken with them, they were insulted, mad, angry, it was my fault. They would fill my answering machine. One, crying how he was in love with me, so he hated me, blamed me, because I was ruining his marriage, his life!!!! Crazy stuff.

Scandi Sanskrit said...

I hate taht. That's so unprofessional. I had a food delivery guy use the personality information I provided to continuously contact me.

RockSword said...

My last post was later deleted, so posting a shorter version below.

I have been stalked from an early age by a group. The closest thing to this type of stalking would be what the CO$ does. I think it started when I first woke up, was told who my mother was and who my 7 siblings were, and that I was 3. And yes, there are no pics of me from before that time. I was blond but turned brown within 2 years (the only child in the family to have that trait).

Scandi Sanskrit said...

1. Schizophrenic: A neighbour would stand in front of my house and just stare at my car's license plate for long periods of time, he left a "marriage proposal" on our porch (it was novel-thick letter in a brown envelope). Finally he stood in front of my car when I just parked WHILE I WAS STILL INSIDE, I was too afraid to get out. He honked my horn and nobody heard. I was terrified. We had to inform the neighbourhood security guards. Eventually he forgot about me although we live in the same block.

2. Narcissistic/Entitled: This film festival volunteer saw that I came almost everyday (I freelance so my schedule was flexible like that, plus I lived within walking distance of the festival venue). One day, I tweet the official account asking, "how can you guys screen a Beatles/Stones documentary on the same day?" He found out my name. Next time I'm there he literally FOLLOWS ME AROUND THE VENUE (this is in a foreign embassy's compound with great security, but it happened right under everyone's nose anyway). Every time I moved seats, he would follow me and stand metres away. When he's off-duty he dresses like me (in a polo shirt) and tries to sit next to me, when I ignore him and manage to get a seat away from him, mid-way through the film, he gets up in a narcissistic rage (it disrupts the screening). I was so scared he'd follow me back to my apartment (as I was walking).

3.This one is a combination of: Coat-tail rider (she believed a false rumour that I was dating a celebrity and wanted a piece of the action) + Mariah Carey's former manager + fameho. I've told this story many, many times. She managed to get me cast in her film/get a position in a theatre I'd previously worked with (she took advantage of our mutual friends). When she didn't get what she'd go to events I was at and trigger me (by talking about the acting school I was molested in and made sure I heard about it, knowing that I was suicidal). When I ignored her during a promotional photo thing, she actually took a creepy photo of our reading where none of the actors' faces were visible (by with herself mirror selfie) and posted THAT as "promotional material" (she managed to climb her way up to a position of power taht enabled) despite there being better photos/promo material. The theatre company had this "keep the drama on stage" policy (we even had this printed on shirts). So what does she do? During a DRESS REHEARSAL with a PREVIEW AUDIENCE, she barges in on stage playing a stagehand/"play waiter" wearing a Superman shirt (while everyone else was in costume) and tries to rub herself against me. She knew I had SjΓΆgren's and she manned the water (thank goodness there was water in the green room anyway).

She cast me in a film where she had us make out in front of her to "practice" while asking us personal questions about or sex lives (not the usual round table reading). And she offered me that part when I was down/vulnerable from being molested/emotionally-abused by a pervert teacher that wanted more "one-on-one outside class" time with me. I think she'd been Stalking me on social media and figured it was the perfect time to strike. I had a weird way of coping (by writing to an imaginary friend named Lemon who I think she took as "code" for that celebrity she thought I was dating) because when I was little my mother used to blame/scold me when I got molested by people (so then when I was groped by a female teacher between my legs, I also never told anyone. And also when someone at the med school rubbed my nipple). So I had my own way of coping but it led to this thirsty woman stalking me. It's one thing to hire someone when they're at the top of their game, but hiring people when they're vulnerable is DISGUSTING.

Scandi Sanskrit said...

Oh man, I forgot another one:

4. The one at my adult ballet class. WTFFFFFFFFF. I'm so tired of talking about all these stalkers. They're fucking crazy.

Scandi Sanskrit said...

Can you get a restraining order in Argentina?

Scandi Sanskrit said...

Hugs. πŸ’›

Scandi Sanskrit said...

This woman: http://www.tvguide.com/tvshows/stalked-someones-watching-2011/episode-2-season-2/signed-your-deadliest-fan/309791/ (a comic book writer) was also stalked for about a decade, if I remember correctly.

Barbara RiceHand said...

@rocksword. Are you from Australia

RockSword said...

Not that I know of. However I don't think I was really born in the place I was supposed to be.

I do have a recollection before this time being in a car and seeing a group of people on a corner. I want surprised by a group on the corner, but rather was surprised by having the strangest feeling that they all hated me (more likely they hated my parents).

Because the city I grew up in (and am supposed to be born in) would not and never has had groups of people on corners to the degree I remember, I think I was from a large city. But I was raised in America. The supposed hit and run, wherein I had amnesia but no blood on the bandages around my head and arm, happened in September 1969... or at least that has always been what I've been led to believe.

Barbara RiceHand said...

Your story reminded me of Anne Hamilton Byrne is why I asked about Australia. Thanks for replying. I enjoyed reading that. Hope you can find your true identity one day.

Scandi Sanskrit said...

I don't understand, RockSword. Are you saying you were brainwashed?

RockSword said...

Same time frame of her acquiring children, but otherwise I don't see much connection besides realizing that there have been many tests with regard to me going against what had been taught.

My hair was blond, as well as 4 siblings, but the two eldest and the youngest were brunette. I was the only one for which the blond turned to brunette, which given all the other circumstances makes me think it was for disguise.

Also I was not raised in a cult but seemingly a Catholic family. Since everything seems to be a story, I now wonder if it was all just a ruse.

With regard to the tests, I believe they do so sometimes to see what I do (build a psychological profile), sometimes to get info for harassment, sometimes because they want you to go against what you believe, maybe as a demoralizing tool.

Tricia13 said...

That’s awful@Scandi—// sorry to hear that:(
Mine was only a celebrity in their own mindπŸ˜‰

Tricia13 said...

Rosie— for realz

Mango said...

@ Scandi - no offense, but I think you might share too much personal information with those around you. I already know a startling amount about you just from reading your posts on this "Your Turn" on an anonymous blog.

Scandi Sanskrit said...

I know, it's terrible. I don't have anyone to talk to in real life because I cut off all my "friends" and isolated myself (they were starting to get me drunk to fish info out of me about famous people they thought I knew—I've never even met those people). And I don't want to see a therapist in the country I live in now because the psychologists/psychiatrists they have around here are the kind that go on TV saying homosexuality is a "mental disease" (I shit you not).

I wish I could talk about this stuff with real people instead of venting on an anonymous blog. It's a lot of life junk.

Hugs (thanks, Mango—nobody IRL would have showed that level of concern). πŸ’›

Scandi Sanskrit said...

*WINK-WONK*

😱😱😱😱😱😱

Cuddlebutt said...

Scandi was your mother a narcissist? Mine was and I think that was a link. I had a difficult time setting boundaries because mine had never been respected. Plus, I blamed myself for a lot because growing up I was responsible for EVERYTHING.

Scandi Sanskrit said...

Yes. I think so, yes.

I always thought the way she was cross with me was a strange kind of "anger", it was almost like she was jealous of me when that man rubbed my thighs. She said it was because I wore shorts. She stopped liking me after I had my period, she only "came back" after I became a 20-something proper adult.

But I think the real mark of her narcissism showed not in the way she treated me, but her lack of grooming. She thought she could be beautiful without makeup/skincare and made a point of wearing everything as cheap as possible, and she'd brag how she "didn't need any of that", and that made her superior somehow.

I never really thought about it. Thanks for this.

I'm sorry your mother never respected your boundaries. Were you allowed to show feeling in the house?

PS: You have such a cute username.

Tricia13 said...

Thank you MangoπŸ™πŸ»
I appreciate you saying that .... and yeah- it wasn’t fun. Most of us here awhile might remember, but again— deep thanks for that.

Cuddlebutt said...

Thank you! I was not allowed to disagree with her. I shocked myself at 16 when I told her "no" because it wasn't allowed. It was treated like I told her "fuck you". My feelings were ignored or diminished. The most embarrassing things about me were openly discussed with others. If I got upset about a mistreatment then I was overreacting. I was constantly called selfish. She isolated me. Triangulated relationships so I thought everyone was against me. If someone outside tried to stand up for me she would rage. She cut my hair short where people thought I was a boy. She bought me boy clothes. It was awful.

katsm0711 said...

*that

katsm0711 said...

*that

katsm0711 said...

*that

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