My Phone Numbers Always Belonged To Deadbeats
Don't you just love when you get a new phone number and you start getting calls from people looking for the old owner of the number? Everytime I get a new number it seems like it always belonged to either some guy who never paid his bills, or a guy who got a lot of calls from Spanish speakers at 3am. Nothing really exciting, although one number I got was because the guy who had it before me wanted to break up with his girlfriend. He felt the best way to do it would be to just disconnect his number. Judging by the text messages I got the first few days with that phone number, I hope that guy is living in a different country.
Anyway, last week Lil Jon got a new phone and the previous owner of the phone number was Miley Cyrus. Yep. That would be my dream come true. Lil Jon kept getting texts from people saying "Congratulations on Teen Vogue" and other similar sentiments. See, he ignored them or wrote back and said it didn't belong to Miley any longer. That isn't what I would do. This is what I would do.
"Can't talk now, I'm watching Brokeback Mountain with daddy and Justin."
"Did I ever tell you that Nick Jonas has a tiny d**k?"
"Don't tell anyone, but I got my boobs done."
"Zac Efron asked me to join in a 3some with he and Vanessa."
"I hate Disney."
"Daddy gives the best back rubs."
As you can see, the list is endless. The people getting these messages would actually believe they are coming from Miley. There would literally be hours of entertainment as new texts from different people came in.
Lil Jon says he is going to keep the number even though he does get calls and texts from people looking for Miley. He changed his tune from last week shen he said this on Twitter.
“HOW COME I JUS GOT A NEW PHONE NUMBER AND ITS F***** MILEY CIRUS OLD NUMBER!!! “STOP CALLIN ME LIL DAMN GIRLS!!!! TRUE STORY!! NO BS!!”
Now of course, with the resulting publicity, he is very happy about it and can't wait to see Miley and introduce his daughter to her.
