Al Reynolds Wants $50K From Star Jones

If I were Al Reynolds I would just want to move on with my life and forget I was ever married to Star Jones. Why? Well, because when you stop to think about the pair being married all that ever happens is people laugh. And laugh, and laugh some more. Their marriage was more fiction than Liza Minelli and David Gest. Well, Star was on Wendy Williams' radio show and started slamming not only NeNe which was to be expected but also her ex. According to the terms of their divorce settlement, saying bad things about the ex will cost you $50K. Al wants his money. Star said, "You know what, the wedding was fabulous, but the marriage was kind of booty." Not sure what that means exactly, but Al thought it was bad enough to earn him $50K. So far his lawyers have not heard back from Star's lawyers. Let it be Al. I cannot imagine being married to either. Ewww.

There Is A Reason You Don't Marry Your Best Gay

The reason is it just doesn't work. According to the National Enquirer who is having a very good week reporting wise, Star Jones has kicked her husband of 3 years, Al Reynolds to the curb. I guess she got tired of pretending. Actually I take that back. I think she did love Al, and probably still does, but he wasn't living up to his part of the bargain. Instead of shacking up with mama, he was off shacking up with daddy down in Miami.

I love this quote from a source. My bet is that the source is actually Star herself.

“I think Star felt Al had spent their marriage riding her success while she did all the heavy lifting. She resented it. Deep down, Star is a very old-fashioned woman who believes a man should support her emotionally, physically and financially. She now believes Al failed her.”

Well first of all when they got married Star outweighed Urkel by about 200 pounds so of course she was going to do the heavy lifting and carry in the groceries, and change the oil in the car. As for being an old fashioned woman, most of them didn't have gastric bypass, they went ahead and stayed fat, or did this little thing called eating better and exercise. Not that I am throwing stones., because this glass house would shatter. As for supporting her. Ummm. I'm sure he was willing to listen to her problems, at least for a few months. But he probably gave up when she mentioned how she hated Kathy Griffin for the 300th time, and how if only Al would help her get rid of Barbara. Perhaps just a little hip check down the stairs so Star could be The Star.

Oh well, maybe Lance Bass is looking to marry an out of work lawyer who still has a ton of unopened wedding gifts.

Random Photos

Satirically speaking, Al Reynolds has this to say about Star Jones.

1."Damn. I guess I'll just close my eyes again and pretend she's a man."
2. "Just keep thinking about the money. "
3. "Her arms really do look like chicken wings. I just thought that was an expression."
4. "Ooh that bartender is cute."
5. "Damn. Did she just fart?"
6. "I wonder who I can get to sponsor our divorce."
7. "Everyone thought the David Gest/Liza Minelli marriage was bad."

Keanu Reeves tries to impress his date by showing that he does actually own something.

"You do realize that after our date, I'm going to wander the streets looking homeless."

No headband. No Jessica. All is right with the world.