Ali Lohan Is Trying Singing Again

About once a year, maybe a little longer, Ali Lohan's name pops up into the news. I think it is about that length of time before Michael and Dina Lohan decide to be nice to each other for a few weeks and ask which kid they can make money off of so they can keep living well without having to get a real job. Inevitably after they get done cursing Lindsay for not giving them a cut of her escort money they look at Ali. A few years ago Ali was going to be a singer and even got a reality show so mom and dad could cash in while the world watched her crash and burn at it. Then she tried the world of modeling. Her career in modeling seemed to consist solely of her staying for long periods of time in Asia and doing what seemed like a lot of private fashion shoots for wealthy people. Now, it is time for Ali to try her hand at singing again and Dina and Michael have decided their best money grab is with country music. Apparently they found some record label dumb enough to offer a $120K advance which would leave Ali about $50 to record an album after mom and dad split the rest. Not content with that kind of money, Dina and Michael are still shopping Ali around and won't settle until they have exploited her at what they perceive to be her fair market value.

Dina Lohan Gets License Suspended For A Year

About the only unexpected thing that happened in court yesterday for Dina Lohan's DUI sentencing was that her attorney tried to make it seem like the entire experience had been an "onerous ordeal," for Dina. The judge put Dina's lawyer in his place by replying that Dina brought the ordeal upon herself. See, even with something like a DUI which is entirely on Dina, the Lohans always try and make it seem like it is somehow the fault of someone else. Dina probably thinks it is an ordeal because she has to make sure people aren't watching her drink. Lucky for her no one really follows her to Texas when she goes drinking with her boyfriend there. Yeah, she has a boyfriend. I can't believe it either. I'm assuming he is someone who doesn't believe in the internet and has never read a tabloid ever. I'm not sure why you would want to get involved with Dina. Sure, it could be a cult leader looking for new followers and is having trouble meeting quota so Dina filled a spot. Dina also has to perform 100 hours of community service which she does by leaving her community every chance she gets. When she gets her license back she has to install an interlock device on her car so she can't drink and drive.

A Great Start To The Holy Week

I was just going to let the whole Dina Lohan pleading guilty to DUI thing slide and leave it to the one photo I posted yesterday of her going into court, but her attorney changed all that for me. I don't think Dina is taking this seriously and that really bothers me. She has been drunk on national television more than once. Since her DUI arrest she has gone out drinking multiple times, including with her daughter Lindsay. You may have heard of her daughter Lindsay. She is a reality star and general all around f**k up, although the Daily Mail now says her show won't be renewed so, she just has f**k up on her resume. Oh, and escort.

I'm not going to even bother calling her an actress because I don't think she can act. I think whatever acting talent she may have possessed is gone. I think the only thing she is capable of doing now is playing a caricature of herself. The one area in life where she really succeeds is lying. She is good at that and she lies to herself even better than she lies to the public.

Dina is a big part of this whole process though. After court yesterday, her attorney said, “She felt this was a great start to the Holy Week.” Yes, Dina's pleading guilty to DUI is something she equates to the week Jesus was killed. Dina probably thinks this is just a laugh a minute and probably feels like she has this whole thing under control. She has to perform 100 hours of community service and if you think Lindsay has had problems fulfilling her community service requirements, I think Dina is going to have even more problems. She will probably be dragged into court at some point after coming up with excuses why she can't do community service. The only good thing that came out of pleading guilty is the ignition lock to make sure she doesn't drive drunk again.

Random Photos Part Five

Boston Strong

Antonio Banderas is back in Spain for Holy Week.

Blythe Danner at LAX and not talking about her daughter.

Beyonce after eating lunch with Jay-Z. Julia Roberts showed up too.

Colin Farrell wears a fat suit (hopefully) for his new movie.

The Beckhams watch a hockey game.

Dina Lohan leaving court after pleading guilty to DUI this morning.

Diane Kruger on the set of her new movie.

Apparently people took photos at the Demi Lovato concert last night.

Lindsay Lohan Denies Doing Coke With Her Mom

Michael Lohan has called his daughter an escort. He also says that Lindsay Lohan and Dina Lohan have done coke together. He is definitely in a position to know. Apparently though when Fox News used that assertion by Michael Lohan that put Lindsay's sometime attorney and her mom's full-time attorney in a tizzy and they sent a letter to Fox News. Fox told them pretty much to eat dirt because they are not going to back down if Lindsay's dad has made the same claim. In the whole scheme of Lindsay and Dina antics I don't get what the big deal is. Lindsay herself has complained that a fight with her mom was because Dina had done too much coke one night. Lindsay has lied about the amount of coke she has done but has admitted doing coke. I don't think anyone in this world would be shocked the two have done lines together. Do they have some kind of agreement where one is allowed to do coke when they are together but not when the two of them are together? Are they both drunk together beyond belief but as soon as the coke comes out they play a game of rock scissors paper to pick who gets to do coke that night?

Dina Lohan Needs Psychiatric Evaluation

Dina Lohan would never go see a psychiatrist on her own but a judge ordered her to submit herself to a psych evaluation before she goes back to court next week on her DUI case. I think that is a tremendous idea and I would love to know what the psychiatrist says about Dina other than her being a narcissistic addict who appears to have no other purpose in life other than to party and live off the earnings of her kids. Have you ever noticed that Dina does not apply her managerial talents to other people? No other kids or adults want Dina to represent them. Why is that? Joe Simpson has a roster of other people he represents and has been a producer of network television shows. If you are successful people will flock to you regardless of whether you will blow all the commissions on blow and first class flights across the country to see your daughter go to jail.

I'm glad Dina had her DUI in New York. I would love to see her go to jail for a month but she won't. It is not a celebrity vs regular people thing. That is not an issue. What would be an isue is when she violates the probation she will be given and she will violate it - then she is going to be in for a nasty surprise when she thinks she will skate in New York like Lindsay skates in LA.

Random Photos Part Two

I almost went to a Keith Urban concert last week and then decided to get drunk instead. Hell of a story isn't it?

Avril Lavigne is back from China and still refuses to announce she is producing spawn with Chad Kroeger after what happened last time.

Dina Lohan and Lindsay Lohan biked to a waiting limo. This was strictly for a photo op.

Lea Michele does the knock kneed thing so you think she is cute and innocent.

Finally Liev Schreiber puts a helmet on his kid.

Liv Tyler carries her son;s lunch box. Not really a box though. I wonder what he ate. I'm hungry.

Madonna accompanies Steve McQueen to the premiere of his new movie which stars Brad Pitt.

Michael Fassbender is also in it and presumably his peen too.

Speaking of premieres, Mischa Barton showed up at one of hers which is headed straight to cable. Seriously.

Dina Lohan Name Drops Oprah During Arrest For DUI - Lies To Police

Not only did Dina Lohan lie to police about her age while being arrested for DUI earlier this month she also name dropped Oprah and Michael Lohan. According to the police report and criminal complaint filed in court before her hearing yesterday the police officer said Dina was very rude. Shocker!! The policeman also said that Dina lied about her age. She said she was 49 and she is 51. Shocker!! I know I thought she was in her late 60's too. Dina said she only had two or three glasses of wine but blew a .20 which means she had closer to a bottle to herself and if she had been drinking longer than probably closer to two bottles.

The funniest part is that Dina name dropped Oprah to the policeman hoping it would get her out of being arrested. Then she said that she and Michael Lohan had been on television earlier that night. No mention at all of Lindsay. I'm guessing that deep in her booze lovin' heart Dina Lohan knows her daughter is not big enough to name drop anymore unless you are looking for a fence, or score a deal on drugs or rehab.