Has Anyone Called Maury Yet?

Kris Jenner was....busy during the 80's. Maybe they had an open marriage? Uh huh. So let's see, potential fathers are Robert Kardashian (ha!) Alex Roldan, OJ Simpson, and now Lionel Richie. If Harvey Levin wasn't gay, I'd put my money on him. At least that would explain the TMZ/Kardashian knee pads relationship.

As it stands, I vote for Alex Roldan. He was her hairdresser back in the day, with whom she had an (alleged) affair. Plus Khloe's middle name is Alexandra.

Who knows; who really cares? What is funny is that Khloe had a DNA test done on her mother to see if she was adopted. So....we know Kris is her mother. Thanks for clearing that up Khloe. Sad that I know that. Another moonshine, please.  

All Kardashian Men Sleep Away From The Coven

Whether or not Bruce Jenner is divorcing Kris Jenner there is one absolute fact to the story. Bruce Jenner does not spend the night with Kris and has not for a very long time. Whether or not Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian is divorcing Lamar Odom there is one absolute fact to the story. Lamar Odom does not spend the night with Khloe and has not for a long time. Whether or not Kanye West is too busy with his assistant there is one absolute fact to the Kimye story. Kanye West and Kim Kardashian do not spend the night together. Whether or not Scott Disick cheats on Kourtney Kardashian every chance he gets there is one absolute fact in their relationship. They do not sleep together.

No man in one of these relationships feels safe closing their eyes around a Kardashian. You never know whether you will wake up again if you do. Or if you do wake up if you are tied to the ground inside a pentagram and being offered up for sacrifice. It just seems strange that every single one of the men has some reason or other for not spending the night in bed with their significant other.

Khloe Kardashian Illegitimate Or A Liar

You know I admit it. Kris Kardashian had me suckered last week and so did Ryan Seacrest who I blame as well. They had me convinced that Khloe Kardashian had learned her lesson and gave a wonderful sob story about how the only reason she was drinking was that it was the anniversary of her father's death and blah, blah, blah. I could understand why someone would drink that night. Doesn't excuse drunk driving, but hey, she was stepping up to the plate, and taking the blame and any other cliche you can think of.

Ummm. One problem. As TMZ reported yesterday, Khloe was busted on March 4 and her dad died on September 30. So, this leads me to believe there could be a few possibilities. We can believe that Khloe Kardashian is actually an illegitimate child and that she has a different father than the other two sisters. If you told me she did I would probably believe you, but I am never good at seeing features in kids of their parents, except for Shiloh because that kid is scary Brad Pitt.

So, if we assume Khloe is in fact the daughter of Robert Kardashian then we have to assume that Ryan Seacrest, Kris Kardashian, Khloe Kardashian and the entire family including former Olympic Gold Medal Winner and Wheaties Box cover boy Bruce Jenner deliberately lied to the world in order to attract sympathy and increase viewers. During the show that the Kardashians reenacted the arrest it explicitly states that Khloe was arrested on the anniversary of her dad's death.

I don't remember what she said to the judge at the time she was sentenced but if she said the same thing in court she could have committed perjury as well, although nobody would do anything about it. The fact that the whole family and Ryan Seacrest lied deliberately and probably laughed about it while all getting their nails done really pisses me off.

I think the American public are very forgiving people. If you make a mistake and admit it we move on. It is just our nature. What we hate is being lied to or feeling like a fool and having you rub it in our faces even when the facts are staring right in front of you.

Now, what I want to see from Kim Kardashian who is always saying that her blog is the truth and only the truth is to go on her blog and admit to the world that she and her family lied, kept lying and that Ryan Seacrest was also part of the big lie as well. Her family used the sympathy of the American people for their own personal gain and profit. To me it is no different from someone raising money for someone who really didn't die of cancer. Their lies got people to watch their show which in turn will make them more money. Each is a fraud. There is no difference. And yes, that includes you as well Seacrest.

First Sign Of The Apocalypse - Me Saying Something Nice About A Kardashian

In something totally unexpected, I was actually in shock listening to Kris Kardashian this morning on Ryan Seacrest's radio show. For some reason I expected her to come on and be just like Kathy Hilton. Well in addition to not crawling around on the floor looking for coke, Kris also didn't whine like Kathy and had nothing bad to say about "everyday people."

When she first came on I really did think the worst especially when Ryan's annoying co-host did her fake "I miss you and love you thing to Kris." For those of you not in the Los Angeles area, Ryan's co-host is a woman named Ellen who, in her life seems to be most proud of her son which is fantastic, and additionally with being the only person she knows who managed to have sex with her boss and getting him to marry her. Nice. They don't mention whether the boss was married while this was going on and I really don't want to know.

Anyway, back to Kris. She came on to discuss Khloe going to jail for violating her probation. Khloe who admitted to not doing cleanup duty as required and not attending alcohol education classes was sentenced to 30 days in the county jail. Instead of offering a litany of excuses on why Khloe shouldn't have been this or that, Kris basically came out and said my kid screwed up and she has to pay the price. She didn't do what she was supposed to do and that's that. She also added that Khloe is 24 going on 15 sometimes and that it gets tiring after awhile to deal with that.

Kris also said that this should serve as a lesson that no matter how much money you have, or what privilege you grew up in, people are still idiots and that you get what you deserve.

There was no hemming or hawing or trying to rationalize. She came out and said what needed to be said. She made no apologies for Khloe and I have to admire that. Too many times in recent months with the Hogans and the Hiltons it has just been a whine fest. Didn't get it here and have to say I appreciate it. Not going to get me to like her kids, but I can like Kris a little.