Tori & Dean's Kids Are More Important Than Yours

So, there you are with your kids at the mall. I use mall, but this was at The Grove which is an outdoor shopping mall in LA. I know that most people don't have outdoor shopping malls they go to in the middle of December, so lets pretend you are in your local mall. You have anywhere from one to three or four kids that have been waiting to see Santa for an hour. Your arms are filled with packages and coats and the kids have had to pee and are hungry. Things are getting close though. You see there are 30 other families behind you all in the same situation. Then, all of a sudden, Tori Spelling & Dean "I cheated on my wife, and you might as well call me Mr. Tori Spelling" McDermott and their four kids come up and cut the line. Yep. They say, "Our kids and ourselves are way more important than you. Too bad." Then, instead of being quick about it, they take 30 long minutes of photos with Santa. Do they care? Nope. Do they apologize? Nope. Scott Ian of Anthrax was one of the victims here and Tweeted his outrage. I would say that talent wise he should move to the front of the line of we are talking celebrity here. He didn't though. He waited with all the other parents.

Dean McDermott Learns Valuable Twitter Lesson

Tori Spelling has worked tirelessly for years to never let anyone see her breasts. Not that anyone really wants to considering how often they look messed up, but still, she has always kept them private. No Playboy for her and no getting naked in movies. Hmm, not that she has been offered that many movies. She really is a bad actress isn't she? Well, still she probably could have got a Playboy pictorial. Anyway, yesterday Dean McDermott thought he was being cute when posting a photo of Liam's bandaged head. Only problem is that Tori was topless in the background and Dean did not notice before he posted the photo to the world on Twitter. Think he might have got into a little bit of trouble? Does Tori lay around topless frequently? To see the uncensored photo, click here.

Another Show For Tori & Dean

So, Oxygen ran out of good ideas and signed up Tori Spelling & Dean McDermott to host a new show called Tori & Dean: sTORIbook Weddings. God that title is annoying. They will also continue to do their regular reality show Home Sweet Hollywood.

Apparently Tori & Dean love being wedding planners for their friends so now will be wedding planners for eight different couples. In what is surely the most sugary press release ever, Oxygen says, "Our audience has loved watching the weddings Tori and Dean have planned for friends on Home Sweet Hollywood and have been clamoring for more. Tori and Dean have a great sense of sophistication and style and truly understand the intricacies of planning the big day."

I just want to know which of you have been clamoring for more. Who have you clamored and if you were clamoring why was it for more Tori & Dean? This makes it sound like they will actually be doing the wedding planning. You really think they had the time or the desire to plan 8 weddings? I think the producers of the show planned the weddings and Tori & Dean will make some phone calls, look distressed and probably show up at the wedding where Dean will set up a card table and sell all Tori's books and jewelry to the guests.

Mr. Tori Spelling Crashes His Bike Again

On this episode of Tori & Dean, Dean crashes his motorcycle and ends up in the hospital. Stop me if you have heard this before. Dean says that he wanted to race bikes professionally but he is always crashing. Always. In his latest big crash, Dean punctured a lung and was supposedly in intensive care in a hospital. Somehow though despite being in intensive care he was able to send out messages on his Twitter. "Thanks for the well wishes. A collapsed lung is no fun, and is a lengthy heal. Feeling pretty bad today. Day 2 is always the worst."

Of course Tori says that she was angry at him until she saw him in intensive care and then just wanted to make sure he was alright. He then said he was giving up bikes forever because he wanted them to be one happy family. Hold on a sec. I just threw up in my mouth a little. I know he didn't plan for a punctured lung but I feel manipulated and it would not shock me in the slightest to know there were cameras following them around when all of this happened.

I have had enough of them.

Tori & Dean Take The Jon & Kate Route

It seems like every reality show involving a married couple eventually renew their vows. The producers run out of ideas and say lets take the whole family somewhere and the couple can renew their vows. We can make it a four parter and cross promote all our other shows. Say Yes To The Dress being an example.

The Duggars did it, Jon & Kate did it, I think Carmen and Dave did it and now Tori and Dean are renewing their vows. So far this whole vow renewal thing has only worked for the Duggars. To everyone else it was just a free trip somewhere and a short wait to divorce court.

With all of the trouble Tori and Mrs. Tori have been having you wouldn't think they would want to press their luck with the vow renewal thing.

Tori & Dean Deny They Are Divorcing

I swear I read a whole lot of gossip and I watch a whole lot of television. With that in mind, I know it is possible I miss things. For example, I barely caught the whole Jake Gyllenhaal, Drunken Stepfather real life fight. Things do slip by. But, I also think publicists are becoming more adept at making up replies to rumors that never existed. It seems to be happening more often. The latest example is this. Yesterday, Tori Spelling and Mr. Spelling went on Access Hollywood to talk about their marriage and how leaked footage from the new season of their show is edited and they are not getting a divorce.

They talk about ebbs and flows and the ups and downs of marriage. Dean talks about spending Tori's money. No not really. Do you remember any footage from their new season leaking? All I think this is, is a way to let the world know a new season of their show is on the way. Although I think they will get divorced as soon as the show ends, I think this is just a game publicists play now. Respond to a rumor that never existed because that way you can control the message.

Lots Of Health News

Sometimes there are so many babies or weddings or engagements at once they get their own post. This is the first time though there have been enough health reports to do such a thing.

Maura Tierney - At a panel for the show Parenthood, a producer for the show said that Maura " is doing well… She's doing really good. She's in treatment and I spoke to her a few weeks ago and she's doing good." Maura is in treatment after discovering a tumor in her breast. One of my all-time favorite kindness items involved Maura and since I watched it happen, it made it even more special. Love her.

Dean McDermott - If you will recall, Tori let Dean have his motorcycle back after fearing it was too dangerous. This weekend he got into an accident and bruised his scapula and another bone but kept riding anyway. Later in the weekend he was spotted wearing a sling. Of course it was all captured on tape for their show so I'm sure it will be overly dramatic and Tori will cry and he will call her mama and then ask her where her checkbook is.

Ethan Zohn - Ethan is cancer free again. He hopes to go home from the hospital this week. Even when he goes home, his girlfriend Jenna Morasca said that he will have to be in isolation for the next three months. Hey, they can watch Survivor. I'm really glad Ethan is doing well.

Dennis Hopper - News Of The World says Dennis Hopper is close to death. They say his prostate cancer has spread to his bones and he only has a few days to live. I hate death watch kind of stories so this will be the last one of these. If it is true, let the man be in peace.

Another Year With Tori & Dean

Apparently people are watching Tori Spelling and Dean Spelling's reality show because they just signed on for another year of it. As reality shows go it isn't the worst. It definitely isn't the best, but I can generally force myself to watch an hour of it at a time before I throw up. When I watched it the other day this was the best line.

Tori- (crying hysterically) Fly. Fly with angels my darling.

Another classic was when Dean was on the set of his made for tv movie and called someone on the phone. These were the first words out of his mouth.

Dean - I only have a minute they are about to call me to the set, but I wanted to..

I lost the rest of it because I started laughing so hard. Was that to show us how important he was and that sometimes producers go insane and give him a couple of bucks to appear in a movie?

The premise for next season is a road trip.