Wednesday, May 23, 2007

ZX-Car Wrecks, Dodger Blue, And Party Aftermath

Oh for crying out loud. Was running a little late for a Dodger game to meet my friend, her new man, and a blind date whose daddy happens to own the Dodgers. Thought I'd spruce myself up a bit and had my purse and makeup bag open on my lap when I looked up at a row of STOPPED cars. Slammed on the brakes only to plow into a tiny Nissan in front of me, who plowed into an SUV in front of her. The airbag deployed and not only burned my wrists, but somehow snared the handles of my purse, so my idiot vanity was on permanent display.

I headed out of the car to see what I'd done. The woman was sitting, very shaken up, in her demolished vehicle. The license plate was ripped off and the back window was shattered and there was fluid and random car parts all over the street. "Oh my God! Are you okay?" I asked her. "I'm so sorry.""Yeah, I'm fine but... I can't move my legs." This was a possibility I had not even considered. About twelve seconds later, she got out and walked over to me and asked to use my phone. She said she was just in shock and probably fine.

My car is brand new and doesn't have license plates. In addition, I just changed insurance companies to combat the expense of a 111mph. ticket disaster, and didn't have the car paperwork yet. So both parties were more than a little suspicious of me, and I felt like a criminal as we exchanged information. I was so relieved that no one was hurt. The accident kind of snapped me out of a negative funk I've been in lately. Seriously, thank goodness for insurance. We'll probably be able to go on with our lives relatively unscathed.

My friends picked me up and we went to the Dodger game anyway, but I don't think I'm cut out to be the heiress to the Dodgers. Perfectly nice guy, but I think the setup was flawed. If you're going to play matchmaker, you have to let nature take its course. My friend orchestrated it so I would be sitting next to Mr. Dodger and obviously she'd shared her design with both of us, but I was freezing and thinking trepidatiously of tomorrow's accident aftermath hell, and will I have time for all the necessary phone calls since I'll be on set all day? I probably was not as ebullient as one would wish on a blind date. At least the Dodgers won, but it's really the least they could do for all the effort I put into my arrival.

The pinata enchilada fiesta on Saturday was terrific-I failed to buy a rope to suspend my colorful candy caballero, so we pitched it to blindfolded batters. Almost took someone's face off and got a nasty letter cc'ing my landlord from my new neighbor, but fun just the same. I thought I had painstakingly cleaned everything up only to go into the bathroom the next morning and look with terror through the shower door at my dad's ferret, who was the life of the party, drowned in the bathtub. Opened the door, and thank God, was not the ferret after all, was just a pile of vomit. Closed the door for a second to regain my composure and think, what kind of a person did this? Why not vomit in the toilet? And judging by the volume of enchiladas in the tub, they would have had to do some serious drinking to puke at all. I only provided two bottles of two buck Chuck from Trader Joe's, alcohol not being my current priority. Also, assuming the person was SITTING on the toilet, they would have had to be supernaturally tall to even reach their head into the tub at all... Hmm. Strange and disgusting mystery. I cleaned it up, retching and squirming the whole time, and mentally going over my list of guests for the culprit. Aha! Definitely the prowler.

50 comments:

kchal said...

Isn't crazy sometimes how a scare like that can put SO MUCH in perspective - the hard part is keeping that though alive I find - lasts for a week and then I'm back to bitching about the stupid stuff.... loved the story - glad the ferret wasn't drowned :)

bionic bunny! said...

ZX, i'm glad you came back, and i'm glad the ferret is okay.
at least your guest made it into the tub... i had a friend barf on my living room carpet one new year's eve. i made her husband clean it up.

brendalove@gmail.com said...

ZX - you need a limo driver. LOL!

Anonymous said...

Yikes! Another accident, I thought I had bad luck, but that's past bad luck.

My friend once she threw a party, okay, intimate gathering and at the end of the night someone had threw up all over the bathroom and not one drop was on the toilet. And no one owned up to it at all. Although all were good friends. Horrible! Maybe someone thought they were aiming for the toilet when they let it fly. Either way, utterly disgusting! It sucks to clean up someone else's spew. YUCK!

Tracee

ukgrrl said...

U ok? No whiplash? Glad to see the recent kerfuffle has not deterred u from posting. Keep it up. I'm not gagging for your reveal coz I for one like not knowing.

Anonymous said...

I absolutely love this blog. I am usually one of those readers who sit on the side lines and read the comments. But, after reading ZX's latest entry I felt like I had to post. I love the way ZX tells her stories. You can actually picture what she is talking about. I actually find myself actually laughing out loud her posts. Revealed or not, I appreciate the entertainment brought to my ho-hum day. :)

theflock07 said...

ZX I am now afraid to drive the same freeways as you. Please be careful for all our sakes. Glad to hear everyone is okay.

Tub vomit is gross. You'd think they'd at least try to rinse it out or something.

Anonymous said...

I want to hear how someone gets an 111mph speeding ticket. Maybe that's common on the west coast, but in flyover country... sheesh.

Glad to hear you're ok, ZX, other than vomit in the tub.

betsnup said...

A fiesta complete with a pinata? I love it!

Anonymous said...

maybe the culprit was using the toilet for his/her stomach ailment and then realized that it was about to come out the other end (sorry gross) and puked in the shower.

by the way, Dodgers suck! Padres fan here! :)

Kim

B :) said...

xxxxoooo for ZX!!!
Your postings are honest,intersting and full of life!
Please don't reveal your ident.

Kelly said...

Tracee, I had something very similar happen to me. Just a few friends were over for some cocktails, and next thing I know my entire bathroom is covered in vomit! It looked like they had done a 360 in the process - it was seriously everywhere. Except in the toilet. I can completely empathize!

Allison said...

you didnt like the McCourt boy?

Pinky said...

Love the pinata imagery. And I'm with 11:35anon - tell us the story about the time you were going 111mph. I did 250 on the Autobahn in a Jaguar once. Fun and scary all at the same time...

Anonymous said...

Kelly OMG LOL!! We're the SPEW TWINS, or something.

Seriously my friend thought someone was exorcised in the house.
Tracee

brendalove@gmail.com said...

Spew Twins, I love it.

Dorothy said...

Sorry about your car accident. I've never been in one I couldn't drive away from - thankfully.

Same goes for the puke - I've never cleaned a prowlers.

A McCourt. Damn that's big money. Did you get to sit in the best seats in the house?

Can't wait to hear how your day on the set went...

mookie said...

lol 2 "colorful candy caballero"!!!

heehee!!!

omg, we so love you, zx.

Anonymous said...

Love it, ZX! And SO glad to hear you're out of the funk (those damn things have a way of ruining everything!).

XOXO
M

P.S. Like the above poster I NEVER respond to blogs.. but yours has me responding twice in 2 days. Go figure...

Anonymous said...

Aw you didn't like Travis?

Anonymous said...

1:32 PM,
I thought she went on a date with Drew? Saw a small photo, but he's easy on the eyes...when I squinted and leaned to the side. Niiiice, ZX. ;)
Tracee

Alex said...

ZX must be young - Drew McCourt is only 23.

each of the two said...

not judging, but, maybe you should not drive so much? get a driver? public transportation?

Hez said...

Um, eligible cast-offs in this direction, please ZX!

I can learn Dodger stats as fast as I learned trivia about outboard motors. As evidence, my friends now refer to the act of pretending to like what your crush likes as "motorboating".

Anonymous said...

I sincerely wish ZM would stay anonymous. Her posts are a hoot, her life a whirlwind (though she should get that driving problem handled. Is it the thing in CA to constantly bash cars? How many car problems can 3 people have, between Ent, AP and ZM?)

Glad the Ferret survived the Pinata Party. Could the dog have puked in the shower?

the plotterist

mary mac said...

Yup folks...just like the commercial says...."she's out there!"

Just kidding...glad everyone's OK ZX. Try to be more careful. We enjoy your posts and don't want to read about you in the papers.

Anonymous said...

Face-off hmmmm.
It all seems a little more clear now. Maybe she can just drop major hints, but not officially reveal(kind of like enty).That would be fun because, "Do I really know or not?!?!
ManD

Anonymous said...

It could be Drew or Travis. Their younger brothers are either still in high school or just barely in college. I would say Drew, since he is the oldest (25), Travis is only one year younger though.

Kim

Anonymous said...

Little family photo for you all to enjoy....the McCourts
http://www.afhu.org/site/album_lascopus2006/photos_09.htm

Kim

Anonymous said...

I'm glad no one was hurt in the accident. And for those of us living vicariously, please tell about the 111 mph ticket. All of the cars I've ever owned start shaking whenever I try to go past 80.

Anonymous said...

I must say Dad told me what's what w/ 111 mph speeding tickets & now I have to go w/ this ZX is FAKE.
DAD:
Driving at over 100 mph is a violation of Vehicle Code section 22348(b). The usual fine (including assessments) is around $760. The court can suspend your license for up to 30 days, but is not required to do so. Whether the judge will order such a suspension will depend a lot upon the court and upon you. Be on time, make a good impression, be contrite.

If you went to traffic school on a previous ticket, this will show on your DMV record as a first offense. It is a two point violation, so it is unlikely that the DMV would take any additional action.

30 years as a criminal defense attorney and
http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/reference/do...

Pinky said...

Maybe she's being sarcastic about the 111mph. You know, like - I at at least a gazillion of those cookies...

lec said...

Glad everyone (including the ferret) are ok.

ZX you sure are car accident prone, LOL.

yeah if I found vomit in my bathroom I would move instead of cleaning it up...eeewwwwww!

Anonymous said...

Alex said...
ZX must be young - Drew McCourt is only 23.


Hey Alex,

Drew was 23 in Nov. 05 and dated a 34yo back then....

Makes him 24-25 yo and age doesn't matter when it comes to women.

Jem said...

Sorry to hear about the car accident, ZX!

Anonymous said...

The McCourts are an ugly family,

Anonymous said...

Yummy on drew or traviz zx. But what could you expect coming from the accident scene. Glad you are ok and laughing at your party description... a big BBLLLEECH for the tub find though. : ) ~Irishstayc

Anonymous said...

J'accuse!

Anon439, j'accuse your dad of copying his answer out of a book. Either that or he's a big ol' Vehicle Code nerd. Sorry.

Vive le Quebec. Vive le Quebec libre!

Chuck De Gaulle
(no, not *that* one)

Anonymous said...

oh fer cryin' out loud:

between the above, and "forgot I was on the phone because 'Suddenly I See' was on the radio", and "...turned my power off but must have wadded up the notice on the ground because I couldn't find it", you are lucky that Hollywood exists because otherwise people like you would be screwing up our orders as waiters in restaurants.

The rest of us have real jobs with real bills and nobody to bail us out when we crash our cars and get speeding tickets. Or cut ahead in line at Coachella. Ew.

Anonymous said...

Now j'accuse you, mon petite anon1101, of jealousy of the highest order. By the power vested in me by the Maginot Line, I hereby bequeath upon you line-cutting privileges anytime you are in France!*

CDeG


* = privileges will not be honored.

Anonymous said...

i've been pulled over in so cal doing 130mph. trust me, if you're prettier than most and driving a sexy german/italian car, the MALE cops don't ticket. they warn you, they ask about the boyfriend situation, they even check that everything is clear ahead so you may continue SAFELY at that speed for a few more miles etc etc. (oh nooo, did that come off like parasite hilton?)

anyways zx, i really enjoy your posts. sometimes i think we'd be best friends, other times i think we'd be mortal enemies. at this point i'd rather not have you revealed if it means you'll stop posting.

(ok, i'm sick of being anonymous, but i'm retarded and can't understand how to set up a name... fyi i'm living in europe, thus it's not in english. advice please, fellow commenters? it seems when i choose any of the other options my comments never appear. thanks in advance)
lexi

schneefloeckli said...

So yesterday, ZX will stop blogging after 06/04 was evidence that she [or this blog in general] is a fraud, today it's the 111mph speeding ticket. *rolls eyes* I'm pretty sure that the 111mph have something in common with the 40pounds of weight she gained and Ent's 60 years of age.

PS: I enjoy raeding this blog, especially ZX's entries. I'd love for her to stay and post some things from time to time - even after 06/04. Her entries are always fun to read and very entertaining IMO.

schneefloeckli said...

Lexi, you can go to my profile and sned me an email. I'll talk you through setting up an account, if you're interested. My mother tongue is German but I also understand Italian and French, so let me know how I can help.

Anonymous said...

pinky - sometimes you gotta spell it out for others.

'course, if you do, than the sarcasm completely loses its intended effect.

nmon

Anonymous said...

A little off subject, but can anyone tell me how Hez is able to use bold and italics in her comments, like under the nicole richie post below? I have wanted to do that and I can't - can anyone else? just wondering. Thanks

mngddess said...

ZX - I'm going to play Mom for a moment....

The only thing you should be doing when you're behind the wheel is DRIVING. DRIVING!!!!! Eyes up, facce forward, hands on wheel. You could have killed someone, including your self. There is to be no gabbing on cell phone, reading, putting makeup on, petting your dog, making out with the passenger, or ANYTHING ELSE that requires you to take your eyes off the road!!!!

Now go stand in the corner.

Cyn

Pinky said...

Hez is using html tags. Let me see if I remember how bold

Pinky said...

Yay! I remember! Okay I'm going to put spaces so you can see, but they don't belong there, so delete the spaces when posting. Hope this works.

for bold < b > thing you want bolded < / b >

tigereye said...

what a lovely comment section today! only a few downers. This is what i love to see! yeah, it took me forever to figure out how to use HTML tags.
I was soo sad at the thought of the ferret being dead! and I dont really even like them. glad to hear it was only (only?!?) vomit, gag!!!
ZX, girlfriend, you crack me up! I do all kinds of shit while I drive, ya just gotta remember that when you're doing the other stuff you have to pay even more -did it work?- attention to the driving part. Sometimes I think I actually drive better while doing a little something else, cause it makes me focus more..I tend to get spacey and thoughts wander if I'm under 55 and doing nothing but staring at the road. =) beware! haha, no, really I've been a good driver.

Hannahbelle said...

Okay chick, no more driving for you! Seriously, I'm glad I don't live in your area...lol! I'm a total chicken when it comes to driving and stuff.
As for the pukeage - when I was a kid, I once, while sitting on the toilet, puked all over the floor in front of me...and left it for my sister to clean up.
Perhaps the tub barfer was a long lost relative of mine.