Friday, January 23, 2009

Ted C Blind Item

Prius Crotch-Catch is so famous, so gorgeous, so down with everything cool in T-town: from always dating the hippest dude, to starring in the latest hit. She’s also politically aware! And she’s so full of enviable girl power, so pure! Surely she doesn’t snort evil drugs or sleep around! Everyone loves and wants to be Prius! Oh, and even though PC-C’s fallen in love from time to time, lately, she’s been on her own—but now appears to be settling sweetly down again. Everyone’s breathing a sigh of belated relief. So fab that Prius has met her latest BF, a fine and steady dude who knows nothing of his girl’s immediate and shocking past, which includes:

Many, many cocaine-powered nights of hot, endless and very loud sex that white chick Prius just stopped having with Wally Wallup, an African-American dude who’s as studly as he is rich and infamous. No one knew Prius and Wally were dating—and they liked it that way, too, as they were wholly hooking up just for the wild nooky. Jeez, thought it was just the gays who went for the meaningless, sweaty hot sex, but what the ef do I know? Just that the hipster hotel where Wallup and Crotch-Catch always did it became even more infamous than it already is when the gorgeous twosome’s screams, snorts and clandestine meetings became so...well, vocal. Indeed, Mr. Wallup had to start posting his bodyguards outside their suite doors just to keep folks from breaking in and calling 911, or joining in, take your pick.

Doesn’t matter anymore, as Prius C-C only has eyes for her just-snagged, far-less-athletic nooky partner. Won’t last. Uh-uh, no friggin’ wild-sex-starved way. Mark my snoopy (and wise) words.

And It Aint: Rachel McAdams, Scarlett Johansson, Hayden Panettiere

58 comments:

Dee said...

Cameron Diaz? Doesn't she drive a Prius?

Missjenny619 said...

There was a photo of Natalie Portman coming out of the Chateau Marmont the other day. That's all I got. Maybe it's her? The Chateau Marmont is definitely the notorious, hipster hotel he is referring to, I'm sure of that.

Missjenny619 said...
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Meredith said...

totally cameron diaz

crotch-catch = di-az

no idea about wally wallup

Angie said...

I'm going to go with Kate Hudson and Baron Davis. Wallup sounds like lay-up, Davis plays basketball.

amster said...

It sounds like Natalie Portman. I agree Prius is a clue. I could see Natalie driving one. Not sure if she does though.

Holly the freelance foodie/movie critic said...

I heard a long time ago that Cameron Diaz and Puffy were a secret item...

Holly the freelance foodie/movie critic said...

I heard a long time ago that Cameron Diaz and Puffy were a secret item...

AnonMom said...

Cameron Diaz and not sure about the guy, but I will say P Diddy.

amster said...

I'm sure P Diddy is a lot of things, but studly isn't one of them. Need someone hunkier.

Raheli said...

This is definitely Drew Barrymore. She has used the term "girl power" in many interviews and she also drives a Prius.

Molly said...

cameron does drive a prius and so does drew and both fit the clues, but my question is - who cares who they're banging? they're single and can screw anyone they want and i say more power to them.

ted, ted, ted. marriage is making you lazy.

Craig said...

When were Cameron Diaz or Drew Barrymore ever thought of as "pure"? And would people really "breath a sigh of relief" that Diaz or Barrymore have finally settled down?

Prius Crotch-Catch sounds like Jennifer Aniston to me.

The African-American,studly, rich and infamous "vocal" dude sounds like Lenny Kravitz.

jw12 said...

I think it's Anne Hathaway. Her new BF looks wimpy.

Molly said...

craig, using your argument, when was jennifer aniston ever thought of as pure?

and who would ever describe john mayer as being 'a fine and steady dude'?

i think that alone rules her out, no?

Princess Buttercup said...

I am going with Cameron Diaz bc I remember the Puffy gossip. The Prius clue is not much of a clue...a lot of stars own them or rent them for events.

As for Chateau Marmont - it does have a reputation but Aniston was just hanging there the other day with a “mystery man” (eye roll and another eye roll for good measure)...I think a lot of celebs go there who are not necessarily doing anything scandalous.

ambernyc said...

Dakota Fanning!

Just kidding. I got nothing though. Hell this blind could probably apply to half of HWood.

sandman said...

nancy pelosi

Craig said...

It's this that does that: "Surely she doesn’t snort evil drugs or sleep around! Everyone loves and wants to be Prius!"

Would anyone be shocked to learn Diaz or Barrymore sleep around or do drugs? Hardly...but Aniston, yeppers.

Ted used the Prius moniker as a red herring.

JS said...

obviously not complete or official...
http://www.hybridcars.com/hybrid-drivers/celebrities.html

Princess Buttercup said...

Assuming Diaz did hook up with Puffy though...seriously I am sooo disappointed. There are a multitude of men out there that are sexier and wealthier and not nearly as loserly as that umbrella screened douche bag!

Audrey said...

I like the Cameron Diaz guess, but I don't think it's with Diddy. First, is he rich? I thought I heard rumors he was broke. Second, the blind does not define why the guy is famous. I was thinking a basketball or football player. Perhaps Kobe??

Princess Buttercup said...

"Just that the hipster hotel where Wallup and Crotch-Catch always did it became even more infamous than it already is when the gorgeous twosome’s screams"

Gorgeous twosome? OK maybe it isnt Diddy...

yellow said...

When was Diaz known for
"She’s also politically aware!", or pure?

It's a toss up between Portman, Barrymore, or Witherspoon.

Strifeknot said...
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Princess Buttercup said...

Barrymore is politically aware but not pure and I don't think she has a steady boyfriend at the moment. Portman and Witherspoon are good guesses but Portman recently broke up with her musician boyfriend and I don't buy Jake as any more than good publicity for Reese.

Terri said...

Diaz is somewhat of an activist and is very 'girl next door' so I think that makes her politically aware and pure.

I think it's her.

canadachick said...

i first thought Diaz...then i remembered pictures of her smoking weed in Hawaii so i dont' think drug use would surprise anyone or Drew's either for that matter.

The so famous line makes me think of Kate Hudson in Almost Famous. She's rumoured to be dating a golfer (less athletic than a basketball player ?? Baron Davis )...

B626 said...

Maybe Cameron and Drew are BOTH doing the mystery man and that's why they were this far apart giving icy glares at the G Globe parties.
Hope so.

Local Tourist said...

Cameron Diaz. Didn't she make a big deal when the Prius came out? Didn't she drive one to an awards show before it was the cool thing to do?

*girl said...

Canadachick - I remember Hudson making a big deal about the pictures of Kate Moss doing cocaine, like she felt it was promoting drug use. She supposedly was pretty against Owen's drug use, so she might actually be a good fit for this one (I can't imagine anyone being surprised by Barrymore/Diaz/Aniston doing drugs).

Except I'm going with LeBron James. He is studly, rich and infamous - think GQ cover.

canadachick said...

ok...just throwing it out ....what about Michelle Williams ? Lots of love after heath....newly dating Spike....not sure who the dude would be...but most would be shocked at drug use ?

Petra said...

I'm going with jw12 on this one. I think this is Anne Hathaway.

canadachick said...

well kate hudson was rumoured to have hooked up with A-Rod too ?

Scarlett said...

Clues don't really fit Aniston, though I'm sure she's trash underneath it all.

Am leaning toward Cameron or Drew, though not really either of them are all that 'pure'. And I don't think either of them have been linnked to anyone 'fine and steady' lately.

Might have to do some Google type research on this one. Assuming it's an actual person and not made up! lol

jane said...

Cameron Diaz. She had that MTV show called "trippin" where she went around the world advocating different environmental causes. Most people (not savvy gossip mongers like us, but the everyday folk that believe everything they read in People) think of Cameron as the perfect girl next door. There were rumors about her and Diddy. There were also rumors about her and Djiman (before he got with Kimora). I think she has a secret thing for the brothers.

Scarlett said...

Forgot to mention...all the AIA's are blond, generic type celebs. Cammie D prob fits the closest with those girls

Mooshki said...

Diddy is a gajillionaire from his "branding" profits. He's just really cheap, so he was bitching about having to stop flying private planes. Ass. I think "studly" is Ted's equivalent of "man-whore."

I'm going with Cameron, because of her new bf that she's all lovey-dovey with.

shazzzba said...

CAMERON...KATE...WHO CARES

GossipGIrl said...

Hi all! This is my first time commenting. I think the guy is 50 Cent, the rapper. He's pretty much known for his muscular body and he was also caught up in some scandal where he may, or may not have been snorting coke on video.

As far as the actresss I have no idea.

Eddie said...

I'm thinking Drew and Kobe.

ea73 said...

It's Cameron Diaz and 50 Cent. This was already a (revealed) blind on another site - can't remember which.

Harriet Hellfire said...

The first name that popped into my head was Cameron Diaz. And I see I'm not the only one.

Molly said...

check this out - from june 2008:

http://www.fnfamous.com/2008/06/04/diddy-says-cameron-diaz-romance-rumors-are-ridiculous/

ms_wonderland said...

I'm with the Ann Hathaway team. She is really hot right now, and Cameron isn't. Ann was vocal as an Obama supporter, and even managed to hang on to her pure image when her bf got arrested and jailed.

Plus I bet she's a screamer!

slappywhyte said...

cameron diaz went to high school with snoop dogg too, but he's not exactly studly right?

i think diaz and 50

Elle said...

So so so Cameron Diaz. The girl-power, from those Charlie's Angels movies. The dating of the most doable guys -- Justin Timberlake. I've read mucho stuff about rumors of her and Puffy for a while now. She has quite a clean image to the regular, non rumor mongering folk -- cute, clean and perky to the regular Letterman viewer, but a bit on the wild side to the rest of us who love gossip and BI. And the bodyguards reference -- who but Diddy has a notable entourage of guards these days? Yup,you can't convince me that its anyone else but Cameron and Puffy!

Judi said...

ITA, Elle.

CityGirl said...

I'd have to go with Diaz and Fiddy

No1uNo said...

At first I misread the line as "hot, endless and very loud sex WITH that white chick" and immediately thought "OMG! It's Halle Berry having coked-up marathon lesbian sex with some white girl!!!!"

Once I realized my mistake the whole thing seemed very boring by comparison. Especially if it's Diaz or Barrymore. I think the only actress this could be about and surprise me is Natalie Portman (and she was in a recent movie with Scarjo) because she seems so prim and proper. But does she have a new boyfriend?

*Miss_P* said...

Well I think it's Anne Hathaway too. Wasn't there a recent blind about her snorting in the toilets at some awards party?

Jon Carita said...

long time lurker, first time poster...

there have been some really great guesses, but i'm leaning towards cammie d because of the "ain't"s.

i'm still trying to figure out the hayden connection, but the other two, to me, have a stronger connection to diaz than other guesses.

first, cameron had beef w/scarlett j, for whatever reason, that then was sent over the edge when justin timberlake (cameron's then boyfriend) casted scarlett in his video 'what goes around'. rumor were that scarlett was the catalyst for cameron and justin's breakup.

second, didn't rachel mcadams date former mickey mouse clubber (and former mmc castmate of justin timberlake) ryan gosling? if so, both actresses dated mm clubbers and that is the connection between cameron and rachel


kate h. is a great guess; but if i remember correctly, ted has used wally wallop in a blind before. i don't think byron is known enough outside of basketball or relevant enough to be a previous blind.

rebeccawoods10 said...

My first thought was Anne Hathaway as well.

Diaz's current boyfriend looks pretty athletic, as well as Hudson's.

Not sure about the fella in question!

bionic bunny! said...

wow, two newbies in one post!
welcome!

ea73 said...

For what it's worth, this is the old blind I was thinking about:

(From the)PANACHE REPORT 03/14
"STUD" Rewind: He is a rapper with sculptured sex appeal and she was one of the highest paid white A-list actresses (at one time) in Hollywood history. We have reported on their discreet liaisons but one of our sources recently supplied us with additional "black data," as well as updated information, as follows. Late one evening, she caught his performance on a TV show. She became aroused just by looking at him. She had to have him. Her rep spoke to his rep, on the low. It was understood, she wanted sex only and he didn't disappoint. Their lovemaking sessions were extremely passionate. We have now learned that their liaisons expanded to two continents. Her security team made sure their relationship never leaked to the press and they all had to sign confidentiality agreements. Allegedly, this illicit couple even made out on a private jet fitted with a customized master bedroom. She even rented a yacht where they have a private buffet where she fed him chocolate covered strawberry's. The night was capped off with passionate lovemaking. Soon, she was telling friends that he was the best lover she ever, "he is insatiable." But before she became totally whipped, she broke it off because it would offend her white fanbase if they ever found out and his street cred would be in jeopardy with the urban audience. Fast Forward: Now, she is married but her husband can't compare in the sack to her former 'secret' lover. Word has it, she desperately wants to get it popping again with the rapper and her willpower and the reluctance to cheat is the only thing standing in the way and preventing her from picking up the phone and contacting him. Before the white actress, there was only one woman (a black actress) that our rapper ever spoke fondly of. Now, we are receiving word, that during All-Star weekend, he reminisced fondly about the white actress to his trusted inner-circle. He seems to be missing her as well.

These are the reveals (from AGC):
rapper: 50 Cent
A-list (white) actress: Julia Roberts; Sandra Bullock; Demi Moore
black actress: Victoria Rowell

KellyLynn said...

I'm not convinced on any of the guesses so far, but I don't have anyone new to shoot out there. I just wanted to say that I'm happy Ted's finally got some fresh gossip going on. It's about time.

Mrs George Glass said...

The main reason I'm not feelin' Cameron is the "latest hit" clue - sounds like someone not only with a recent hit, but who's career is on fire. Cameron hasn't had a real hit in ages. Also this actress sounds like a more hip, current, finger-on-the-pulse type.

I'm on team Hathaway - she's vocally political, starred in recent hits, is seen as THE 'it' girl right now. I like the Lenny Kravitz and James Lebron guesses for the guy.

The AIA's were all at inaugural balls, as was Anne.

star_grades said...

I'm not sure about the actress. I did think it might have been Witherspoon. Anyway, I think the rapper is Snoop.