Friday, January 21, 2011

Your Turn

This week, we were having an interesting discussion about going back in time. The question was basically what point in time would you go back to and start over again, or are you pretty happy with the way things turned out? You would still know what you know now, but, you have to live your life from that point you go back to. Do you think things would turn out differently?

93 comments:

Cheryl said...

This is a no brainer for me...I would absolutely go back to when I was 10-11 y/o. And yes things would definitely turn out differently!

Jessica said...

Easy, I would go back to about 12 or so, and things would be drastically different.

Dijea said...

Things would be drastically different. I'd start back to right before middle school.

Boriqua said...

Sometime between middle school and high school. Although I can't complain with how things have turned out.

ms snarky said...

I'd go back in an instant, possibly to about 13 or 14. And everything would be different, since I'd know what I know now. Think of all the mistakes you wouldn't make! There would be some things I'd miss, of course. But there would be so many other things that would be great assets. Who knows?

Carrie L. said...

I would go back to when I was 16 and avoid a spine injury by not doing that dive at the hotel pool even though I had done it so many times before. It's given me 19 years of pain, more outpatient procedures than I can count and four major spine surgeries, all of which just made the situation worse. With each passing month I become more debilitated and more worn down from the constant pain that never, ever lets up.

Sue Ellen Mishkey said...

I would never go back and start again. Sure, there are instances that I wish I hadn't done, but had I not done them I wouldn't be where/who I am today.

I think the path you choose is your destiny.

sunnyside1213 said...

I would go back to where I was reading Little Men in our apple tree. About 11 I think. Will it turn out different? Do I know what I know now?

Lady J said...

Things aren't too bad for me now but I'd still probably go back to about 12 years old or so. There isn't a lot I would change, but there are a few things I would like to do differently.

@Carrie L.

Sorry about your injury that sucks.

Maja. With a J. said...

Thinking about time travel makes me go a little crazy. You know this. Therefore, I will refrain from participating in this weeks "Your Turn". *L*

bits of moxy said...

I really want to say I would go back about 10 years just to tweak some minor things - like maybe hugged my friends more, said something better when they needed a shoulder to cry on...cared a little more. Never said yes to the date that lead down a path of misery. But then maybe I wouldn't have done it quite right the second time either. I'm with Sue Ellen on this one.

Sue Ellen Mishkey said...

To anyone interested:

I watched a show on Discovery(Canada) hosted by Stephen Hawking that dicusses the idea of time travel and its possibility.

Super interesting and informative.

chihuahuense said...

lol@Maja, I forgot about that. I wouldn't go back--although it would be nice to do everything "perfectly", I am happy with things now, so I wouldn't want to risk a different outcome.

Patty said...

I wouldn't want to change how things are today. However, I think I would go back to 14 and fix my hair differently so my high school yearbook photos (portraits, groups and candids) would look better.

Borg Queen said...

I would go back to my 20s and redo my life since then. I spent 5 yrs deeply depressed pining over an ex-boyfriend that broke my heart and then dated a string of losers. I would go back and finish college & graduate school. Although I dont know if that path would have lead to my fiance who is a great guy.

candid canary said...

I wouldn't re-live my adolescence for ANYTHING. Never want to be that age again. I would, however, go back to age 26 and start a cellulite-prevention diet and exercise regimen stat! LOL!!

cyberisis said...

I would love to go back to 12 and do it all over again with what I have learned but (and this is a big but) I would have to end up with the same 2 kids I have now. All the pain and sadness endured was worth it to end up with them.

hunter said...

I would go back to my early 20's and not marry the person I married...and proceed in my career with more confidence (I was better, smarter, & more talented than I thought I was- just let the bluffers bluff me into thinking otherwise!) So my career path would've been different too. But the thing is, I'd still like to be married to the person I'm married to now, who I met through my work. So I'd have to seek him out and stalk him!

Peregrine White said...

Yes, I would go back.

To the fall of 1968. And I would follow her out the door... and try once more.

looserdude said...

I'm happy now. I wasn't happy back then. Whatever happened in the past let it go.

Cheryl said...

Sue Ellen Mishkey said exactly what I was going to say.

Reese said...

Like several others, I'd go back to about age 10 or 11. Nothing to complain about now, but it would be nice to do things a lot better.

HannahPalindrome said...

Agree with Sue Ellen

caydian said...

Go back to when I was 20 and chose the relationship that I am in now. I wasted 15 years of my life with the wrong guy.

I am lucky. At least the right guy came back for me (he never married). A phone message out of the blue changed my life.

Sarah said...

I'm surprised by how many people would go back. I made a hell of a lot of mistakes, but isn't that what makes us human?

mikey said...

I would go back and start again at college. I'd get a different major, marry a different man and move to a different part of the country. Not that I have any regrets.... but I could have done better.

I really did ok is high school and don't feel the need to do over.

Tempestuous Grape said...

I dream about this often actually! While I would love to go back to 8 years old and protect myself from harm so that I would turn out to be a well adjusted person, it would be impossible. So I would rather go back to 1999 when I was in my late 20's. I would maintain all the wonderful relationships I had and also, above all else: manage my money properly! Damn stocks.

Miss X said...

Oh how I wish I could go back. I was thinking junior high but maybe 10 or 11 would be even better.

And I don't want to relive all of elementary school but could I at least go relive kindergarten? Naps, playtime & learning = perfect day!

Genericuserprofile said...

I would go back to 2003 and would have seen my then boyfriend and our relationship for what it really was. I would then have opened my heart much sooner to my then friend/now husband. I would have saved myself about 5 years ;>.

feraltart said...

I love the husband I have now, so I would keep him. Funny though, because a toxic friendship is how I met him. If I had my knowledge I would go back to high school and do it differently, as well as my 20s. I would have gone overseas to work. I would have realised that the bullies that seem so important at work mean nothing - if you can't be googled you have not made your mark on the world. I would have put people in their place more, fought for myself more. Having written all that, I am really happy with my life now, so my concern would be screwing that up.

Sorry for injuries and obviously really bad stuff that happened to others.

Merlin D. Bear said...

Gods above yes, I'd go back.
The issue is which pivotal moment to choose - do I go so far back that I literally get a mulligan on everything, or to adolescence or later?
Despite High school being its own Hell - I'd love to go back and redo a few things like never ever ever picking up a cigarette (for one biggie), and pursuing drama despite the parental kibosh for another.
And since I'd know what I know now, I'd act on those crushes I had in HS...especially since finding out later in life that there was a reason they occurred.

Lauren said...

I would go back for the sole purpose of investing money.

The Nightmare Child said...

I'd go back to November 7th, 2007...and stay at home.

nichole said...

I would go back and go to a different college, maybe. While I absolutely loved my small private college, I racked up a lot of student loans. So I think maybe I would have stayed local and lived at home and walked away with no student loans.

hotchacha said...

I'd go back two years and reinstate the lapsed life insurance policy. I would also make sure the will was signed.

RJ said...

No, I wouldn't go back. I made lots of mistakes, and maybe I haven't turned out as well as I had hoped when I was a teen, but I haven't turned out as badly as I could have either. I am married to a good man who I love and respect and who loves and respects me. There's a lot to be said for that. I figure if I went back, I might not make the old mistakes, but that doesn't mean that I wouldn't make new, even worse mistakes/decisions. I think the past is very much like cutting your own bang - the more you try to fix them, the worse they get. I'd be a lot better off if I thought more about the future and less about the past. Most people would. Use the past to learn and go forward wiser.

Sylvia said...

I would change 2 things. First not get married to my first husband and Second I would go get an education. I hate school but would try to get a degree on computers or something.

bramblewitch said...

Oh yeah, I would go back and get a prophylactic bi-lateral mastectomy so I wouldn't have to go through cancer and I would go back to that Stevie Nicks concert and stay in the back to avoid the tinnitus.

Other than that, no reason to go, i'm pretty happy now.

MCH said...

I think about this question all the time.

I'd go back to the time where my mom asked me to pick which state I wanted to finish out high school. And pick the other.

Selock said...

Such a tough one...my poor decisions all have to do with rejecting good guys who could've been The One, in favor of jackass losers...BUT - I can't go back and change things, I wouldn't have my daughter!!! She means everything to me. As they do. :) If I could negotiate to have her anyway, with someone else, and have her be the same person, well...maybe. But it doesn't work that way, does it?

However, one thing I might do is go back to the last time my finances were so much better a few years ago and try not to eff them up again. Oyyy.

Pookie said...

i'd go back, just a few days, to when i thought it was it was correct, and just, and fair, to defend what was right and who was right.

turns out some people aren't worth it.

i have better attuned antennae now.

Krab said...

I'd figure out a way for me not to get chronic fatigue syndrome, which I've had since 1990. Other than that, wouldn't want to go back. I haven't made many mistakes and I'm happy and very lucky, except for my lousy health.

Anotheramy said...

I would hate to have to deal with all those ridiculous teenagers again but I would be back with everyone else in high school. I would also buy IBM stock and warn people away from the Yugo.

Barton Fink said...

If I could turn back time, I would take back those words that hurt you, and you'd stay.

white lorelei said...

At first I thought I'd say I'd go back to 2 years out of high school, when I decided to move from home in Detroit to LA to be with the love of my life (who dumped me as soon as he spent all the money I took with me), and do it all over from there.

But, I thought it was interesting what many said about going back and doing jr. high and high school again knowing what I know now, especially about interpersonal relationships. It's an interesting point, and I would have done a lot different particularly in how much value I put on whether certain people (mostly guys) liked me or not. I would handle that much better now.

But I'm not from the "I wouldn't change a thing" school, because I made some huge mistakes -- some with eyes wide open -- that I regret. I don't give any weight to the regret, but nevertheless I regret them.

A great question; first time I've chimed in on a Your Turn topic.

trinnean said...

Conception, and pick a different life altogether. I'm not too terribly attached to my experiences this time around. Something new. If that's an option.

Mooshki said...

I'd go back to college and take a much more aggressive approach to treating my depression early on.

Majik said...

Birth.

ClaireFrasier said...

Carrie L... damn, that's rough... (I wish you could go back)

Peregrine... what a beautifully poetic statement...

I'd go back to 10 years old, IF I could still have my child, and the man I am with now. They are both the reason I am here on this planet.

Majik said...

lol @ bartonfink

Kimberly said...

1. I would have walked out of the door with the right man and not the wrong one. Yes, i know the date, hour and minute i messed that one up

2.I would have worked harder in college and tried to get into vet school instead of picking an easier major

3. I would have gone to college out of state.

But if i had done 2 or 3 i would have never meet 1, but since 1 is dead now I guess that's irrelavant.

Derek X said...

I would go back to the very second I walked into my high school. That's when everything started going wrong in my life.

Aside from the obvious of buckling down, studying hard and staying away from certain people, I would change most things in my family life.

I would advise my sister to take better care of her body during her pregnancy so she wouldn't lose her child.

I would stop my mother from ever picking up the crack pipe.

I would stop my step-brother from going down a severely dark path after his mother died, which ended with him in prison.

Debutante said...

I would go back to when I was 23 yrs. old. Things would be different and better. Not that they're bad now, but definitely would go back !
I'm intrigued by THE NIGHTMARE CHILD'S POST: the specific date of November 7, 2007. Wonder what that's about ?
It also makes me extremely sad for all of us who would go back due to bad /sad love affairs etc. I feel badly for all of us ! :(

West End Girl said...

I would. Undecided when but certainly sometime in my teens but my biggest change I would want would always be out of my hand because it's the moment my mum met her second husband. He's been dead over seven years and still has a shocking amount of control over my family's life.

Sorry that's a little long but mildly cathartic.

sunnyside1213 said...

@ Barton, your post made me sad. I think we all would like to take back words.

MadLyb said...

I'd go back and buy stock in Microsoft and Apple... If you went back and you want the same kid(s) you have now, how would that work? You'd have to time conception to the second. Not worth it!

Middle-aged Diva said...

I'd go back to 1969, just starting college, and relive every bit of it up til now. Same as it was. Pain and joy. All of it. If I could I'd stay in that year.

This is my life said...

At 16 I had a "good" job waitressing, and a boyfriend who was a highschool dropout, so I quit school to spend more time with him. If I could go back, I would stay in school. Period!
I've tried finishing through adult learning programs, and I'm justthisshort of the actual diploma.
My life didn't turn out bad, but that is one of my two huge regrets. And the other, well that would have happened differently if I would have been in school.

RocketQueen said...

lol @ barton :)

MoodyBlueEyes said...

although i was a pretty bad seed as a teen (14-18), i would do it all over again. i learned so much about life and it's helped to make me the person i am today and appreciate life and love so much more.

the ONLY thing I'd change is not going to college (and failing out of HS)... I was damn smart and never lived to my potential. However, as a 33yr old, I still have time!

farmgirl said...

I would go back 5 years and make sure we talked to my father-in-law to be perfectly clear about his will and his wishes so his widow would not be able to forge his signature, steal his $$ and cut his children out of the will.

JJ said...

Hunter told my tale, word for work so I'll ditto her:

I would go back to my early 20's and not marry the person I married...and proceed in my career with more confidence (I was better, smarter, & more talented than I thought I was- just let the bluffers bluff me into thinking otherwise!) So my career path would've been different too. But the thing is, I'd still like to be married to the person I'm married to now, who I met through my work. So I'd have to seek him out and stalk him!

Jamie's Girl said...

I'd go back to when I was 19. I dreamed of going to California and to be a beach bum or a girl in one of those bikinis we would see on a tv show. But I know I would have ended up back in Texas, married to exactly the same man!

Basil said...

I would only go back in time to NOT do some of the casually cruel things I did to other people when I felt cocky. Nothing that would have sent me to jail, or doom me to hell, but I probably made some people sad, and now I wish I hadn't.

linnea said...

Basil - I can understand that sentiment. I have been b**** to people in my time, without even realizing how much I have hurt them.

Would I go back tough, and risk to not have the life I have today? No WAY. Nowhere have I done something that I or others didnt learn from.

On the other hand, I am younger than most people here I think. Perhaps thats why I am not regretting anything yet... Give me ten years or so! :)

HannahPalindrome said...

Farmgirl-

There are ways to prove a will was forged.

Why didn't the family file charges?

rebellious, contrary and nice said...

In May of 1999, I would have gotten a plane ticket to Los Angeles, CA instead of reaming in my home state. I'm in my early 30s now, and I can still do this. Can't I? LOL.

MOOSHKI, sorry that you have struggled with depression. I pray that you are in better place now!

Big Sur Expedition 2008! said...

What an interesting time to pose this question. I have always regretted saying the things I said to my first love that forced him to break up with me. So if I could go back in time, it would be to HS to realize that my upbringing did not need to dictate how I treated people. I would also laugh off all the bullying and be a better friend to those that crossed my path. Maybe then, a few years later when we got together, I would've been ready for the relationship and things would have turned out differently.

We just got reacquainted with the ex after 10+ years and I am in a very serious relationship so I am now having some doubts about everything......interesting timing indeed.

farmgirl said...

Hannah - we are in the thick of it now. The problem is the cost at 2 years and counting of legal fees etc. We are definitely fighting the good fight!!

It is an important lesson - never be afraid to ask your elderly/sick parents questions.

KiKi said...

Senior year in high school. I've thought about this a lot over the years. Knowing what I know now I know exactly what I would have done from Senior Year on and I definitely would not have been a Wild Child! Hopefully, the time travel machine would still let me have my kids; the greatest loves of my life!

ardleigh said...

I would go back to when I was a Senior in High School and get my father to a cardiologist. Then when I was 25 I would get my mother to a better surgeon (one who wasn't an arrogant DICKHEAD).

I don't know if this would change my life but I know it would have changed theirs and that would have mattered more.

Wil said...

I would go back to about 10 years of age and restart .. as long as I held the knowledge I do now. Otherwise, I guess I would just move along the same path.

I would do anything to change the way my life turned out. Of course, I could just be really negative today as I spent my day finishing cleaning out my house before it goes back to the bank on Sunday.

Hopefully the "Your Turn" around about the 13th of February will not be along these lines .. that is the time my Bankruptcy should be clearing the court. Ugh .. It could be worse .. I just need to remind myself .. it could always be worse.

Geebz said...

I would go back to the moment after my son was conceived, leave his father, transferred job locations and carried on my path with confidence. Oh think about that so very much. He and his family did a huge number on my mental health.
"Black no good for Korean. Let us have baby, we pay $10,000 to you. For Black, that lot of money."
These are quotes and not meant to make fun of their lack of language skill. Hateful and evil family that was.

Tiny Tots Horsemanship said...

I would definitely go back to when I was about 7 or 8 years old. I had a terrible relationship with my parents, which translated into no friends at school, a compulsive eating disorder, poor grades, weight gain in high school, barely graduating, dropping out of college, have a baby at way too young, staying in an abusive relationship for 7 1/2 yrs, finding out when I left him that I had social anxiety disorder bordering on agoraphobia, living in near poverty conditions for several years, and then eventually (many years later!) meeting a great guy, getting married, and having a 2nd wonderful kid. I would fix everything as long as I could still have my awesome daughters when it was all redone.

nataliesinger said...

Back to my first breathe, and with all this knowledge it couldn't help but be different

Mango said...

I am who I am. I don't think that even gifted with the knowledge of the future I could change my personality or outcome.

califblondy said...

I wouldn't redo a single thing.

All the bad shit or good stuff, belle of the ball or bottom of the barrel, made me who I am. Like it or suck it.

Password strength:strong said...

I wouldn't walk home alone when I was 18. I wouldn't drop out of uni for so long. I would have joined the Air force sooner. I wouldn't have let him go so easily.

Ms. said...
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Ms. said...
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linnea said...

hurrah ms! reading your comment reminds me of what I love about this place.

I hope you get the strength to move up and beyond where you are right now. I recently undertook a huge life change and all I can say is - you have no idea how much better it can get...

Selock said...

Some amazing responses on this one. I want to give everyone a big collective hug. I enjoy being human with you all. :)

the_cat_fifie said...

Gosh, what sad thoughts for so many people.

My life hasn't turned out exactly as I might have hoped, but I am doing OK and am thankful for what I have, especially health. I might have passed on my ex husband and a couple of jerk boyfriends, but that's about it.

I do wish I could go back in time to see my late mother, though.

valerie said...

I'd go back to college and choose a different major and career. I do well at the one I have now, but wish I had gone into consulting.

dbfreak said...

Wow! I'm with so many posters who have marveled at how timely this "Your Turn" question is. It is so timely for me as well.

@Ms. said almost verbatim what I am currently going through and how much your comments have helped give me perspective on my current situation. I can't say it any better. While I would want to go back to the onset of adolescence and do things differently, I wouldn't be who I am today and even with the knowledge I may still have made the same mistakes.

I think it's never too late to change your life, it just gets harder as you get older.

feraltart said...

Reading the comments made me realise that those who behaved wished they had mucked up more, and those who mucked up wished they had behaved more. Our personalities are what they are. I muck up more now that I am an adult. See, you can do things differently.

Good luck to everyone.

fordellcaste said...

I'd go back to age 10, and have the nerve to tell the officer I walked into the police station to tell what my relative was actually doing to me. Instead, back then I just said I needed information about drug abuse for a report i was writing in school. I lost my nerve... I also would not get into the swing in August 1971. It broke, and I was paralyzed for a year and a half.

fletch_in_dubai said...

I'd go back to that day in New York on 10th September 2001 and instead of agreeing to meet my ex-wife the next morning at the lawyer's office, I'd tell her to meet me at the top of the World Trade Center instead.

Then I'd lay in the hotel bed with CNN Live on the television.

fletch_in_dubai said...

I'd go back to that day in New York on 10th September 2001 and instead of agreeing to meet my ex-wife the next morning at the lawyer's office, I'd tell her to meet me at the top of the World Trade Center instead.

Then I'd lay in the hotel bed with CNN Live on the television.

bkjlover said...

I would go back 6 years, to when my son's father, who i thought was the center of my world and the love of my life, left me and married someone else. My inability to deal with the pain I was feeling caused me to develop a really bad addiction to opiates, that lasted 5 years. Something i truly regret doing to myself, and will have to deal with for the rest of my life, but atleast I am clean today!

Borg Queen said...

ROFTLMAO @ Fletch - much needed comic relief after reading Ms. missive. Ms. am glad you are feeling better about urself and ur situation. Onward and upward indeed.

Tenley said...

I honestly think I was supposed to die in 1992 -- it was a freak car accident, I was certain I was going to go over a mountain to the extent that everything had become very quiet and calm and I had just accepted it, and then WHOMP, my car not only wasn't going straight off the cliff it was parallel -- parallel! not head-on, as I had been going -- to the guardrail and I was completely stopped. Didn't even touch the guardrail. (But weirdly, totalled the car.) I really think something weird happened and that I wasn't supposed to be here all this time or that like in Lost we're actually all dead.

michele said...

If I did go back it would be to 08/21/89. I wouldn't have gone on the church field trip on the bus that night. Then I wouldn't have fallen in love at first sight (with the boy who has broken my heart again and again for 21 years) when I stepped off of the bus. I have never been a believer in regrets but I wish now I would have never met him.