In some ways yes, unfortunately. But I actively fight back against a lot of what my dad is. My unofficial parenting plan is to do the opposite of what my father did in 87.3% of situations.
I surely hope not!! 😉
Good for you, Lucas!!
Why not. All us ladies turn into our mothers eventually. Gawd…I'm starting to see her in the mirror too.
@Patty: I don't mind turning into my Mom, but I have been seeing my maternal G'ma when I look in the mirror. That I mind!
@Patty. Me too. Every morning when I finally manage to stumble out of the bedroom.
No, wait, Mom lives with me. Nevermind.
@Gayeld – Ha!
I hope not, he's dead!
Nope, I'm not a vicious, drunk sex pest.
@Lucas, that's my official plan (wrt to both parents) and so far it's working. Whatever my mom did in 99% of parenting situations, I do the opposite. Never knew my dad, so that one's a no-brainer.
@Meanie, my kids are already getting the terrified look on their face when I point out "this" (pointing at me) is what they will look like in 30 years.
I hope not. I don't want to be a racist, sexist, homophobic, emotionally distant, problem-drinking, arrogant, and possibly narcissistic personality disordered man. Or, you know, a man at all, since I'm a chick.
@AKM, I didn't know I had a sister, but knowing my dad it wouldn't be out of character.
He's dead now, but I've spent a lifetime trying to not be like him.He had some good traits, organized, good worker and boss…fascinated me that he treated the people outside the family a hundred times better than he treated us.
At the end I forgave him and even liked him as he was too ill to be his ornery self anymore.
@Del – Ha! Well, it's sad, so it's not really funny, but…YKWIM.
Mine has some good traits, too, sure. Too bad they're overshadowed by the crappy way he treats most of the world, including his only daughter.
The part about treating people outside of the family better? AMEN. WTF, amiright?! My mama had the same problem with her OWN father, so I kinda wish she'd picked a better sperm donor for me. Of course, anyone with a basic understanding of psychology can figure THAT one out, too. :-/
Right now he and I aren't speaking. I feel like some toxicity is out of my life, but I also worry about the future a bit. I believe that there's just not enough love in the world, and I've always believed in "tell your loved ones you love them before you hang up the phone, because you just never know" and all that jazz. But, like I said, I feel some relief right now. So it is what it is, today at least.
I'm glad you two were able to make your peace at the end.
@AKM if it helps, my husband cut his father out of his life completely 20 years ago. He's never regretted it. Only you know for sure how you feel, but some people are just too toxic to ever let back in.
I could only wish to be half the person my Father is. He is my hero and admired by many.
The Mum is a different story. If my kids want to get a reaction out of me they just have to say I'm acting like Grandma and I straighten up real fast!!
Too late–I'm practically my dad's clone, to a degree that's gone past funny to weird to "oh, shit, he does that, too?". All kinds of weird little physical–and a fair number of mental/emotional–quirks, health issues, etc. I love him dearly, but there are definitely a few things I wish he hadn't passed on to me (and I know he feels the same way, too). I also ended up w/my paternal grandmother's lack of hips, non-existent rise, and serious batwings, the latter of which I've had since my early 20s. *sigh* Sometimes heredity sucks… (On the bright side, I got my dad's complexion, and we're both holding up pretty damn well!)
Still, though, every now and then I'll catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and think "Oh, shit, that's my mom!"…