Tuesday, May 07, 2013

The Farrah Abraham Sex Tape Is Out - She Has No Interest In Watching

Remember when Farrah Abraham said she made the sex tape with James Deen and hired a professional director because she wanted to be able to see herself and to enjoy the body she has now when she gets older? Yeah, that was just last week. Apparently though she forgot she said that because when Vivid released her video she Tweeted that she has no interest in watching the video and is done with it. Umm, yeah, ok. When you can't keep straight things you said the week before, then you know you lie too much. As for the video, it is definitely more than you would see from most celebrity sex tapes. Way more. I pretty much just fast forwarded through the whole thing. I say three more months, maybe a little longer before she is making another one.

42 comments:

Ashley said...

She's a mess.

Steampunk Jazz said...

I would like to thank mtv for allowing us to view this womans' character.

Patricia said...

The trailer is promising.

SusanB said...

With all the free porn available on line it amazes me that people actually still buy porn.

Leviathan's Phone said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Leviathan's Phone said...

She did an awesome job with it. (Nope, didn't buy it, it was out there free within hours.)

If she's this much better than Kim Kardashian at the rest of her plan, this kid's going to rule the world, because she outperforms Kim in this vid in every way.

Count Jerkula said...

40 minutes yo:

http://www.slutload.com/watch/N77Igd7SCYz/Farrah-Superstar-1.html

She do got some fine hindquarters on her. The fake cans and butter face would ruin any mish for me though.

Leviathan's Phone said...

Ah, c'mon, Count, there are way worse fake tits in porn, and she's fairly cute and nicely expressive.

If she were as appealing outside the video as she is in it, I'd become a fan right-quick.

Count Jerkula said...

P.S. I totally see her doing more. She could probably fly to LA for 10 days, shoot a bunch of scenes, then work $1K an hour hooking in her off time. That ass is a money machine, built to pit out 100s.

Since she went anal early, I think she should hold off on I/R for 6 months to a year. Gotta work those guys up, then get paid by Dogfart.

Michael said...

Enty, reading comprehension is clearly not your forte. She said that she wasn't going to watch Vivid's "version" of the pron implying that, yes, she has her own personal copy. Do I believe it? Nope. But if you are going to call someone out on their lies, get it right.

Count Jerkula said...

@Leviathan: Yeah, could be my desire not to like her, but I am really not much of a fan of fake boobs. I'd rather a chick have lil ones than fakes.

I'm an ass man though. If a chick has a nice butt, then the boobs are just bonus points.

Jonathan Andrew Sheen said...

@Count Jerkula, I'm with you on the implant thing, but, hey, it's not the whole boob that's fake, just the underlying structure. The skin coloring on them is nice, and so are her nipples.

On the other hand, as long as we're pointing out her inconsistencies, remember how in interviews a week or so ago, she said he had a small peen? That's not what she was saying when he was trying to make it fit into her butt!

MadLyb said...

Does anyone else find porn tedious? It's all the same. Bo-ring! The participants say the same stupid stuff and it isn't sexy in the least. Then there's always the same 'ol grand finale that makes me cringe. It does nothing for me. I'd rather watch simulated scenes from movies where everything isn't in your face (no pun intended). Maybe that's just me...

Jonathan Andrew Sheen said...

@MadLyb: It's clearly not just you, but there are plenty like me who really enjoy porn of some flavors.

I doubt anybody likes it all, but there's something there for everybody.

Silly Girl said...

OK, I watched the 5 min clip. She's a terrible actor (DUH) and the guy is calling her on it. Oh, I listened to the dialogue, too. Ya know, because I was curious. The porn itself? Meh.

Count Jerkula said...

@MadLyb: bad porn is tedious. You get some sites like NaughtyBookworms or ExploitedTeens and there are like 3 sequences of positions and camera angles in every scene. They get hot chicks, but if you join the sites for a month, you get board quick.

Try checking out some larger budget type stuff from DigitalPlayground (porn in Blu-Ray blew my mind) or kink.com (bdsm) if you wanna see something different. I have never seen a porn parody, but they are out there and popular. Maybe some European stuff from a company called Private, they put out quality entertainment.

There are a couple women directors out there who claim to make a product "for women", their names escape me though.

If it is the facial or down the hatch pop shots that gross you out, just watch cream pie scenes.

I wish I had affiliate links for all them places I just name dropped.

Jonathan Andrew Sheen said...

Some of the "Parodies" are pretty good. There's one guy who makes them who's a true fanboy, and the pornos he produces are like high-quality smutty fan fictions.

Count Jerkula said...

@JAS: Is that a blind? If so, Will Ryder.

Renoblondee said...

Just watched a few minutes. Although she does have a cute ass I was bored.

Robin said...

James Deen is on twitter asking where the other half of the tape is. Wouldn't surprise me if they come out with a #2 for more money. Did she really think people wouldn't recognize that's she having sex with one of the few recognizable male names in porn?!

DewieTheBear said...

She doesn't want to watch her porno? That might be the first and only thing I will ever have in common in with her.

Jonathan Andrew Sheen said...

@Count Jerkula, I was thinking of Axel Braun.

Evil Kumquat said...

Watched it.

Didn't pay for it (thanks, Pirate Bay!).

It was as boring as any professionally done film.

She looks as fake as any latter day porn star.

She was actually pretty smart to hit porn now before her 15 are completely up. Taking it in the ass was probably worth an additional $200K.

I expect more films from her in the future as well as strip club appearances.

Count Jerkula said...

@JAS: Had to be one of the 2.

The Raving Badger said...

Bwahaha. He sure has a hard time getting it up for her. It might be because she is incredibly annoying. What's with that "baby" voice?! Somebody please smack that bitch up.

parissucksliterally said...

I like skinny, but this girl does NOT have a hot body. She is a stick with blot on hard looking tits.

As I said on Dlisted yesterday, you should look at the TMZ pics of her on a stripper pole. She is NOT sexy- she looks like a praying mantis taking a shit.

The Raving Badger said...

Seriously. He's having a difficult time maintaining wood. That shit is not supposed to be that bendy....

A2M. Nice. Hope she doesn't kiss her kid with that mouth.

BTW- where the fuck is the kid's baby daddy or his parents? She shouldn't have custody.

The Raving Badger said...

Also, lousy BJ skills. All hand action. That's a cheat. He should just slap for that.

Patricia said...

Baby daddy died and they aren't sure he's the daddy. Even though in reality she looks just like him. They want nothing to do with Farrah

ethorne said...

Is that pic a still from her first ass2ass?

FSP said...

Borg Queen, come out come out wherever you are!

Ari said...

the only reason I'm going to entertain watching it is cause of James Deen (you won Vivid)

Sherry said...

@parissucksliterally: You win the internets today..Praying mantis taking a shit! I am so stealing that.
I used to think porn was okay but it just got old fast. I'd rather be doing it than watching it any day of the week. And if you think YOU look good doing it..trust me..You really don't. Thank gawd there was no interwebs when I was younger.

Mango said...

Remember that clip of her and her mother at the airport when her mother said Farrah was taken advantage of? I wonder if her folks have seen the movie. I'll bet it's going over well down at the Elks's Lodge. You know damned well all of her father's friends are wanking to it.

This airhead is going to (pardon the pun) blow through the money and will be back to make another porn for considerably less bank sooner than we all think. Dumbass.

bar fly said...

+1

Me said...

if that picture is from the tape, it doesn't look like things went too well. who wants to see someone get their anus ripped up? is that considered sexy?

Count Jerkula said...

@Me: Yep.

nudibelle said...

well..i dont know abt you guys but i cant squirt or take it up the ass
and she did it like a champ

BRAVO FARRAH!!!!
didnt even blink when he went in the dookie shoot

bruh, imagine all her dads friends that watched it and jerked off lmfao!

this is such a low

Count Jerkula said...

@nudibelle: If ya want some anal tips, all ya gotta do is ask. I'll give you some basics for now.

First, get a modest butt plug and play around with it on your own, some time when you have a vibrator out, so you get comfortable with it.

Second, just like with regular sex, you gotta tell your man "You gotta lick it, before you stick it. Get it soft and wet so we can kick it." If her aint man enough to eat it, he aint man enough to hit it.

Third, take it slow at first. Dimwit drunken tools trying the cram and ram technique ruin broads to the astonishing pleasure the anus has to offer. Slow and easy, then moderate acceleration as everything loosens up.

Fourth, get quality water based lube. No Cherry flavored Motion Lotion crap. My buddy, who works in a porn store, says the gays swear by Gun Oil. One thing them dudes know about is da buttsecks.

Finally, good communication is a must. Keep your partner in touch with what is going on. If something hurts, tell him STOP or SLOW DOWN. It is better to stop and start over than get an injury.

Knowing is 1/2 the battle. #GIJOE

Me said...

"basics"!!? wtf dude, i feel like i just took ass fucking 101. complete with lingo and lube recommendation.

Count Jerkula said...

There is much more. The books Anal Pleasure and Health along with Tristan Taormino's The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex For Women (and the DVD by the same name) go waaaaay more in depth than I did in that post. I'm just trying to pique interest and exploration by giving a couple worthwhile pointers. A foundation to build upon.

Sasha Grey Pro Tip: If you wanna clean out with an enema before hand, pour out the solution it comes with and use distilled water. The solution in the package dries you out and tap water may contain bacteria. I seen her say it on YouTube.

Freckle said...

The social services will take her daughter, and not soon enough. She will start using drugs. The media will watch and report every minute of it and somewhere in the near future we can read the sad and inevitable headline. Anybody who watches a film of a woman who's clearly not in a good state of mind is adding to the abuse.