Wednesday, May 08, 2013

Farrah Abraham's Sex Tape Is A Huge Hit

Apparently there are a lot of people out there who love to watch teen moms in backdoor action. In just 12 hours, nearly 2M people paid to watch Farrah Abraham in her sex video. In contrast, Kim Kardashian's video only attracted 600K viewers in the same time frame. You would think then that Farrah would be set to rule the reality world and be the next Kim Kardashian. I don't think Farrah can do that. She is way too polarizing and does not have a self censor button. No one likes her who ever comes into contact with her and she is trying way too hard to be famous. As much as I dislike Kim Kardashian, I think her 600K views are just as impressive because we are talking about a time when there were not as many people connected as there are now. When you watched video, you did it from your computer and not your phone. I also think that Farrah had a larger number of people as a base to work from.

60 comments:

FSP said...

Guilty of watching.

Gypsy said...

She makes Ceiling Eyes look like Einstein.

parissucksliterally said...

People are fucking sad.

super jive said...

I'm guessing (and not judging) that most purchasers are rubbernecking. I mean, you can barely surf around without tripping over Bratz dolls with immobile racks getting it in the pooper without paying for it. Maybe some James Deen fans as well.

plokzy said...

Saw it. Fakest 'candid' sex tape over. Almost as bas as her tits.

Im with Count tho, her ass is up there.

plokzy said...

*bad

Jeneral said...

I saw the 4 minute free clip and was so bored! I can't believe people are paying to see this.

Vita19a said...

With those numbers, did she do any promotion and if so whomever was behind this needs to be working for a proper A list actress

Evil Kumquat said...

I just wanted to see Deen's peen.

That has to be the biggest "little dick" I've ever seen.

What a dumb bitch.

La Descarada said...

Girrrrllllll please. Who you tryin to fool with those cement mounds on your chest.

OMG BAYYYBEEE COCKCOCK was like nails on a chalkboard which she said about 300 times trying to give the allusion that they were a couple but James was having none of that. The dialogue was extremely and painfully awkward. She lazily lapped at his cock for a second before IMMA GO GET MY LUBE CAUSE WE'RE GONNA DO ANAL!!!

Mmmmhmm complete side eye there. She scampered off leaving him to get himself hard. Mind you be had problems maintaining his boner which I don't doubt.
Why in the hell was she picking out panties to try on when she was already wearing a dress? And a bra? No girl, you don't need it. Those tennis balls parted like the Red Sea ain't going anywhere.
Also, which did you see the extras that were cut out of that masterpiece? She had EIGHT fingers all up inside of her. No girl, that was not cute. I have never been to an Arby's and now thanks to her I never will. She has ruined roast beef fore with her meat curtains and prolapsed gaping asshole which gave no resistance upon entry. I was hoping James would've extremely hate fucked her but sadly he let me down.

Girl you took it up the ass on camera for money. Gotta do what you gotta do but don't try to play it off trying to say it was a sex tape when you chose a porn star to film it with, through a porn company, and he happens to have a professional camera there. Own it. OWN IT. Was it horrible? Fuck yes my vagine has never been this dry while watching a porn. Seriously. And James was totally talking to her like a moron. He called her a regard. M'kay?

I know you were trying to be cute but when you take a money shot to the face one does not say "OMG LOL IM GONNA RUB IT INTO MY EYE!!!" You dumbfuck. And she wipes her face on a pillow. He tells her "uh I can get you a paper towel..." Nope!

I know it is my fault for watching but who doesn't love a good train wreck? CUNT.

LottaColada said...

Me too.

La Descarada said...

Forgive my typos. Using phone.

stigs84 said...

I'm honestly surprised that

A) she got as much money for it as she did &
B) it was a huge hit

I wanted it to flop. I don't judge porn stars at all, but I do judge Farrah. When you have a kid, you need to take that into consideration with every decision you make because your actions will affect your kid's life. How's she gonna explain this to her daughter? "Mommy did anal in a video that capitalized on the fact that I'm your mommy"

auntliddy said...

Sounds just plain nasty.

auntliddy said...

And now i'm slightly queasy.

Sugar said...

I wanna see it but I don't wanna pay for it! Whaaaaa! All the websites I've gone to say I will be able to see it but they are lying! Where can I see some good clips for free?

I need to see this hussy get it on in her back door for myself.

LottaColada said...

Sugar, the generous Count gave a good link yesterday in the Farrah thread.

Unknown said...

^^ this is awesome!!! I haven't seem it - but 8 fingers? Damn - save something for the next "private" tape! Haha her tits are the worst - perhaps a groupon for a tit job isn't the best way to go

Sugar said...

dude! I'll try when I get home but a lot of those links lead to still photos and I want to see the butt action. Thanks, Miss Lotta!

Jonathan Andrew Sheen said...

And, just to be clear, within maybe three hours of its "paid" release, you could get the vid free over the Internet, and I'd be surprised if there weren't ten or more "free" viewers for every one who paid for it.

And, if we're going to be honest, the fact is that she's a very pretty girl with a nice body, and, in her porn vid, displays a sweet, appealing personality. She's got a nice smile, uses it often, is willing to make fun of herself, and shows every sign of really liking the sex, about which enjoyment she's quite vocal. Interviews make her seem dumb and ignorant and dislikable, but the video makes her seem like a girl it would be fun to take to bed.

If that's all an act, then she's a brilliantly talented thespian, and I see Oscars in her future. I don't think it is. I think she's a pretty kid who really enjoys sex, stumbled into fame, and parlayed the former into an attempt to prolong the latter.

I know she hopes to segue from this into a Kardashian-like career, and, as I find her likable in her video, I feel guilty about hoping she doesn't manage that, but instead transitions into full-time porn performer, because she gives a really enjoyable performance, and, even with her obvious implants, is really easy on the eyes, especially in video, where she's animated and expressive.

(Oh, and about those implants? I've said it before, I'll say it again: Anybody who calls hers the worst boob-job they've ever seen is either a liar or very new to the Internet. Do her breasts look or move like natural breasts that size would? Well, no, But we've all seen way worse, and, by the way, the skin and coloration is all her, and they're nice.)

If you disapprove of porn, you're going to disapprove of her doing porn. Okay.

If you disapprove of dishonesty, you're going to disapprove of the multiple layers of con she's tried and failed to pull off about the nature of the video. I can't argue with that.

But it's as good a porn vid as I've seen, and she sells it with her performance in it. I do approve of that.

Anonymous said...

Eight fingers. What the fuck has she had up there? ???

Anonymous said...

Did you get a good cut of the profits. You know a lot of us would have never known about it if you weren't pimping it daily on your blog.

Cocokitty said...

Y'all paid??

Count Jerkula said...

Her asshole gave no resistance, because she probably spent over an hour to get it ready. Whoring on film is real work, not just strip and spread.

Prep for an anal scene generally goes like this:

Fasting from the night before.

Enemas that morning. Last thing you want is mud on the guys helmet when it is time for ATM. I think it was on the Behind the Scenes of a CumFart Cocktails release that a chick wigged out after she realized she swallowed a lil turd nugget.

Vibrator and butt plug time, to make sure everything is loosened up.

Probably an hour of prep, before hitting the makeup chair. Whores tend to leave the butt plug in when in the make up chair, because if they don't then accidents can happen. Taylor Rain coughed in the make up chair once and shit herself.

La Descarada said...

Its tidbits of wisdom and knowledge like this that make me want to buy you a beer.

Sherry said...

La Descarada: Have you ever considered a career in film criticism? Think about it. ;)

FSP said...

Pay? Hahahaha

Topper Madison said...

Note to self: Never read comments on any porn gossip on this site. If I wanted this vulgarity, I'd be over at Fleshbot.

Jason Blue Eyes said...

Typos or not, I think you expressed your opinion pretty clearly, La Descarada. Awesome. :)

Onyx Loathes Hydrangeas said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
yodelay said...

Isn't this the same moron who said her toddler was proud of her for waxing the kid's monobrow? Let's face it, for both her and octonuts, the only option is the sex trade. I doubt she could succeed pushing buttons at McDonalds.

Jamie 2 said...

Anal is so 1989.

http://onion.com/bGRCgx

bar fly said...

Its like youre reading my mind

__-__=__ said...

La Descarda - thanks for taking one for the team. Sounds sad. That poor kid.

OKay said...

Enough with the "sex tape" label already! Girlfriend made a PORNO. And it would have been so much better if everyone had just ignored her, but people are stupid.

Mango said...

@ La Descarada - Gee, you certainly have strong feelings about her to commit to pecking out a tome on a phone. I'm buying YOU a beer.

Meanwhile JAS is in love/lust and there's a DO NOT DISTURB sign on his door. ;)


I feel absolutely horrible about saying this but here goes: I thought the photo up top was Maya Rudolph.

Anonymous said...

Its not?

LottaColada said...

Holy FUCK Mango, the resemblance is uncanny!

Mango said...

@ Lotta - I know :(

Gayeld said...

Jurors have reached a verdict in the Jodi Arias trial. It's going to be announce in half-an-hour (4:30 ET.)

Anonymous said...

COUNT JERKULA... YOU COMPLETE ME!!!
anal freaks me out, theres no coming back from shitting on somebody. nothin will take that memory away *TAKES NOTES*

Jason Blue Eyes said...

I can see the Maya Rupdolph resemblance - though I think here she looks like Bristol Palin.

Now, try and get THAT image out of your brains. Bwah-ha-ha-ha.

Count Jerkula said...

@nudibelle: Single? Location? Height? Interested in a How To class? The rates are reasonable.

Poop happens, nothing to freak out about. It is about the only collateral damage from sex that can be dealt with by soap and water.

Shit You Can't Buy said...

For those who haven't seen it:
*Graphic details below*
////
-She sounds like a babyvoiced fool
-At one point there are 8 fingers in her vahjayjay
-She says 'baby'about 6000 times, it is the main dialogue
-She tries to make it look like they are in a relationship->kissing/cuddling
-She takes it up the pooper pretty easily
-She squirts
-She looked very annoyed sometimes, like 'you are not doing it right, but i'll pretend to like it'. He did the same, had troubles staying hard.

For a 'celebrity'-sextape (celebrity between '..' because she is not really a celeb, only in her own world) it wasn't that bad. It wasn't a snoozefest like Kuntdashian/Tila Tequila. She did things most girls in porn can't/won't do. Only problem is; she has already done most of the porn stuff now (anal/squirt), so what is she gonna do in her next tape? Assuming there is gonna be one.. Are they gonna pee/poop on her? If she wants to stay 'famous' I guess she will have to go extreme. Once u do anal.. hard to top that as a mainstream pornstar, unless you go extreme.

Shit You Can't Buy said...

And it's pretty easy to find on torrent-sites, no need to pay ;)

Anonymous said...

Are you for real ? She's a nobody that got famous for being a teen mom and is so warped any attention at any price so took it up the arse for the money but more for the attention and she's obviously aware how bad that is because she's lied over and over about it.

CrazyCatLady said...

She was all over the interview circuit telling everyone it was a home movie and not a professional porn.

Count Jerkula said...

@Shit You Can't Buy: Interracial, Double Penetration (pink/stink), S&M (who wouldn't want to see her take a beating), Gang Bangs, Blow Bangs, Bukakke, Gokkun, Girl/Girl.

Primadiva said...

Ill throw in a shot!!

Anonymous said...

La descarda - can I meet you? Who are you? You should do all porn recaps- that's what I would pay for!!!!!!!! I literally want to copy and paste this on my blog as a recap but my Readers might clutch a Pearl

Brian Brown said...

Yet another dumb young girl who takes a facial not realizing the Internet is forever.

Angela said...

Do you really believe the numbers are true?

It's porn. The companies aren't public and they can claim that 300M paid to watch the video and that they paid Abraham $1B for her performance.

Jason Blue Eyes said...

Farrah should have watched some Eva Angelina or Priya Rai beforehand so she would have realized that enthusiasm is what makes a porn star truly great.

MissInfo said...

My thoughts exactly...there is still plenty for her to explore. However, I'm going to need her to get some anal bleaching and touch up her lady bits and get that horrid boob job fixed. It was much better than Kuntrashian's!

Ivs said...

Out of everything I read on the list - that you very kindly put together, @Shit You Can't Buy - I flinched at "tries to make it look like they are in a relationship". Just the thought of having sex with someone for money (so just basically performing a service), but then also be forced to fake feelings for this person I barely even know!? I like the person James Deen seems to be; he seems like a stand-up guy that just happens to have sex on film, and the fact that he had to do this with her actually makes me feel sorry for him! Did he at least get paid extra for that??

But I'm sure he doesn't need my pity and that this probably just was another day at work for him, but still. Uuugh! And he could barely stay hard?! Who doesn't want to dig a hole and die in it when the pornstar that will get paid to have sex with you barely can get it up?? She must've wanted the fame and money real bad.

BlindItemMe said...

LOl @ladescarada i actually wanna watch it based on your description! amazing.

@count i always thought that anal scenes must have been a whole lot of preparing! :) i remember watching tori blacks interview before she shot her first anal scene she seemed pretty nervous

wait wait wait beef curtains? is she a shucker?? i never saw the KimK movie as my bf said she was a shucker.....

*shrugs*

di butler said...

Preaaaach! *claps*

KittensRUs said...

Saw it, didn't pay though.

Surrender Dorothy said...

Guess I'll buy the next round then! Gotta thank the Count for the link to the vid (free y'all!) and La Des for the fantastic recap! Summed it up quite accurately ;)

30whatsnext said...

As much as I disliked this annoying girl. I thought her acting was great, because she is such a bimbo that totally fit the set up. She is one dimensional that I think she did great on tne 4 free minutes of the video.

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