Friday, June 21, 2013

North West Beats South West And Wild Wild West

We have a baby name. Do you know how sad it is that I don't even have to say whose baby. That really sucks. What sucks even more is turning your baby into a punch line. Of course since neither parent will probably spend much time with the baby, what does it matter what they call it because kids at boarding school get teased anyway. Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have decided to name their baby North. Nori for short. I guess that's why North won out over South West because Suri had already been taken. Can't have two Suri's out there because then you might not be able to trademark anything. What Kanye did was name his baby something he thought was cool with no regard to anything else. He put himself first. He knows that if his name had been North growing up that he would have been teased non-stop but that doesn't matter to him.

I thought it was interesting that Kim left the hospital after just two days just like a normal delivery. Perhaps some nurse out there could tell me the last time a baby who weighed under five pounds and was over five weeks early and in an incubator got to leave on the same schedule as a full-term baby. This baby was 37 weeks and everyone knows it and the baby was born three weeks early, again because it fit into schedules and because Kim didn't want to gain any more weight.

74 comments:

Liz L said...

I don't believe it. I think it's a decoy. They said they were going to announce the name in their own special way (ie sell magazines)There is no way they would let a birth certificate leak unless they did it themselves. She actually made that joke on Jimmy Kimmel a few months ago, that she was going to name her Easton West.

Cathy said...

Are we sure it isn't Knorth West, with a silent k?

Also, they couldn't do South West, because that's already an airline and you KNOW they're gonna copyright the name.

Jessie said...

Did Kim leave with the baby? I'm sure the hospital has the best interests of the child at heart. I know Kim is a game whore but I don't believe she would endanger her child.

Peggy Too said...

To steal a line from one of my favorite chick flicks.....
"Yur shittin' me, right??"

Jessie said...

Haha game, I meant fame. Anyway, Enty is being silly bc there are plenty of other reasons to bitch about the Kardashians. Leave the baby alone.

Renoblondee said...

I was induced at 37 weeks and my baby was 4 lb. 15 oz. She was perfectly healthy and we went
home the next day. So it isn't that odd.

Terri said...

wasn't there a blind about a reality star naming a child so they could get endorsement deals and everyone thought it was Holly Madison?

LottaColada said...

@Terri- that was actually "revealed" to be Holly by enty.

Murphy said...

I absolutely believe the baby was full term. Five pounds is probably code for ten pounds.

Ten pounds with sideburns just like the original Kim.

KLM said...

I actually don't think North is the worst name ever.

5 weeks isn't all that early - as long as the baby isn't jaundiced, is able to nurse and is breathing well, I don't see why the hospital wouldn't release them. I can't stand KK, but she is a brand new mom and I would imagine that she is following the advice of her doctor...

Pini 27 said...

Okay, I am sick to death of these people but enough of the obsession by whoever is writing this. Go after the people who buy their products and watch their shows. The endless and baseless conjecture and assumptions is annoying.

If the baby is a pr stunt, having him for the father is punishment enough. Stop punishing us all by running so many pictures of this dick.

greenmountaingal said...

I doubt this is true, but if it is, at least they didn't name their baby yet another K name. It's still stupid, though.

luckydog said...

I was listening to a radio show and a nurse who works in the maternity ward where Kim delivered called in- the nurse was risking her job but wanted to make it known what these people are like bc she was sooo horrified. Essentially she reported that Kanye didn't hold the baby once and took off right afterwards and Kim held her for two minutes, sent her off and was texting nonstop, arranging for Kanye's father's day party the next day.

My best friend has been trying to have a baby for over SIX YEARS. Depressing. I truly hate Kim and Kanye.

rll said...

I didn't know they were fans of the Hobbit

mamabot said...

I am hoping the middle name will be "ByNorth".

kgirl said...

So they named their baby a direction, the full name is the same as an airline, and the nickname is essentially seaweed? Yeah okay...Blue Ivy is sounding really good right now.

HannahBanana said...

Poor kid...for SO many reasons....

kgirl said...

Not trying to be jerky AT ALL, but has your friend considered surrogacy or adoption? I know they aren't inexpensive though. I wish her and her hubby (I assume) all the best. Good people deserve to be good parents.

Ms. KillJoy said...

Read the Rachel Zoe, read this...yep, Enty is a woman.

Jax, is that you?

T. E. Cuz said...

maybe.... she is lying about being premature.

maybe the baby was full term and healthy and normal? and she didn't wanna admit pregnancy at first, so she waited a few extra weeks. and then with a "premature birth", she gets people talking, etc.

or maybe she was 3weeks early. who knows.

Patty said...

@mamabot FTW!

a non a miss said...

Yup Jax has taken up writing duties this week. So bitter.

Rose said...

Aren't babies considered full term at 37 weeks?

Melissa said...

A baby can be ok at 37 weeks but full term is 40 weeks.

Gossip Marmalade said...

I believe babies are considered full term at 37 weeks. A lot depends on the baby's ability to maintain weight after birth.
I read yesterday that they had to induce b/c Kim's blood pressure shot up and judging by how puffy she was I believe that.

KLM said...

37 weeks is full term (had my second at exactly 37 weeks).

And I totally believe she was induced because of her blood pressure - she looked very puffy.

And I agree that both this post and the Rachel Zoe one are very bitter. Heading over to Dlisted to get some comedy sans venom.

audrey said...

Women who have babies naturally usually leave the hospital the same day the baby is born--or within the first 24 hours. The only people who stay are c sections or if there are complications. And I hope the name thing is a joke...I really do. I think most men don't do well with naming children. They seem to come up with some weird shit and forget that one day the kid is going to be at school with children who are just nasty and mean when it comes to funny sounding names.

Kitty said...

I guess that's why North won out over South -- so people wouldn't call out soo-EEEE!

emailchallenged said...

i'm still not convinced that she didn't induce the delivery early just so she wouldn't get overshadowed in the magazines if the dutchess gave birth first. I am actually convinced that is why kim delivered early because she is just disgusting

selenakyle said...

Ugliest GD dress I've ever seen.

Anothergrayhare said...

Full term is 40 weeks gestation. 37 weeks and on is considered safe for delivery. Been there, done that, twice. And I think they're just milking the publicity cow for all they can with these ludicrous name suggestions. I liked Easton 'cause my kids are hockey players but that would then spoil the name on their equipment for me forever.

Cathy said...

@audrey - what kind of insurance do you and the people you know have??? i have NEVER heard of a woman leaving the hospital the same day she gave birth.

sweetstarshine1 said...

i had my baby on a monday morning very early n i got to leave tuesday night. My doctor ok'ed it because my husband worked and my 2yr old had no one to stay with.

I totalyl believe tho that kim will NOT be a hands on mom tho.

J Sara said...

+1

O'Really said...

@cathy...I took my son home 4 hours after I had him. Granted, he was born in a birthing center instead of a hospital and I'm a total badass to boot ;-)

Onyx Loathes Hydrangeas said...

E! Online is reporting she and baby didnt leave until Thursday night. Which makes her stay 5 days, not two, and I completely believe early c-section.

kgirl said...

I think she lied and said July to be compared to Kate in the press. Now the baby was born full term and she's lying to get press about a premie. Ugh she makes me sick.

8=====D - RememberKermitGosnell said...

They are only Americans upgrading geographical names for kids.
First, it was Dakota, somewhere in the USA.
Then there was Paris, which is acceptable as a boy's name (look at the Troyan war), but as a girl's name is stupid because it comes from the city.
Now you have geographic directions right out from a compass.

Still better than Goopy and the song copier's Apple.

detown359 said...

Northwest Airlines merged with Delta a few years back so I'm sure they have the trademark still.

car54 said...

I saw the North thing last night--I'm waiting to see if that's official.

Sounds like the nurse calling in reporting might be the same "nurse" who reported the name Kaidence--so consider the source.

If the baby needs special care, I would imagine Kris would have a nurse and any special equipment at her house if needed.

I would want to get out of the hospital asap--you never rest as well there as you do at home.

I don't think North is the worst name they could have picked--she's their kid so they get to choose.

detown359 said...

I too hope its' a decoy but if not it's a brilliant PR move because everyone is talking about it. Too bad a baby is part of the PR plan.

Tempestuous Grape said...

Easton West is a great name actually.

Terri said...

@Lotta: Thanks for the clarification.

Just because insurance doesn't cover extra nights doesn't mean people cant stay longer. If you have the money to stay, the hospital will let you stay as long as you can (depending on space, doc needs, etc)

kelgela2 said...

Pretty sure when they first announce the pregnancy, the due date was beginning of June to middle of June.

Would much rather hear about The Duchess. Replace all Kim posts with Kate posts.

el said...

Doesn't anyone find the timing if this announcement disgusting?! We all know this is a business arrangement between the high priced hooker Kim and the vile excuse for a man Kanye. The kardashian freaks couldn't stand attention being taken from them by James Gandolfini's passing. They make me sick!

jodi benton said...

who is jax?

Kels said...

I really like the name North....

Mari said...

I don't blame Kanye for thinking North West was a good name. He was just thinking of possible escape routes away from the animated chesterfield that became ambulatory when he stood up, and attached itself to his hip.

detown359 said...

Did the nurse confirm if Kim was really in distress with preeclampsia or if this was a planned delivery?

PugsterMom said...

How is Nori with two syllables short for North which only has one?

Meggie said...

I had my now 18 month old at 37 weeks pregnant also because of preeclampsia (bedrest for 7 weeks before that). She was 5 lbs and also in and out of the incubator. I went home on day 3 (c section) and also took her with me. I have several friends who had their kids at 26-30 weeks and they all went home on time. The baby's needs don't play into the mom staying at the hospital longer.

Sugar said...

The only reason I think Kim's emergency birth is legit is because it happened on a Saturday night. Best news comes out during the week and I think if she had a choice, she would have waited for Monday for proper coverage.

auntliddy said...

I dont doubt at all she had preeclampsia. My son was 6 wks early, i took him home at 4 lbs, 13 oz because he was very healthy. Girl baby's lungs are more mature than boys, si i believe its possible to bring baby home this soon. As for north, its silly but nori isnt bad.

parissucksliterally said...

I think they are fucking with people.

If not, then they truly are even bigger idiots than I originally thought. And I think they are MAJOR idiots.

Queen Elisheba said...

My daughter was born at 36 weeks and I went home after 2 days.

Mango said...

I'm still ticked off that they stole my grandmother's slipcovers to make that dress. No shame!

Karrots said...

I was hoping this was a bad joke, but then TMZ posted the birth certificate.

Colleen said...

I think every situation is different re: premies, etc. I was born 6 weeks early and stayed in the hospital for an extra 21 days after my mom went home (she went home after the normal couple days).

Colleen said...

Oh and I stayed in the hospital that long because I was under 5lbs & jaundice and they wouldn't let me leave until I had gained enough weight to go home.

Colleen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ellehpee said...

North West is the name of a fairly large company here in Canada, headquartered in Winnipeg, MB. It's one of the oldest companies in North Amercia. Will be interesting to see if that interferes with PMK's plans to trademark and pimp the hell out of the poor child.

Moonmaid said...

"10lbs with sideburns" lol

Jacaranda said...

I thought early on that she had preeclampsia, all those pictures of her swollen ankles. No doctor would induce a baby 5 weeks early for the parents convenience and a 5lb baby who didn't have any breathing issues could definitely leave the hospital on time.

Sherry said...

It is also possible that SHE went home but the baby stayed under their care. No mention of that.

Worstcompanytoworkfor said...

When you hate people,you just become irrational. I'ts getting boring.

Kiki K said...

I don't believe the name until an official announcement from the Kardashian camp. And no doubt there will be one. And of course she can be home so early. As long as the baby is breathing and feeding normally there is no reason not to!

usernametaken said...

@Worstcompany, totally agree. And the tone of this site has completely changed. I imagine the writer is sitting at her desk (in elasticized waistband pants) packing chocolate into her gob, and taking out all her pent up pissiness on celebs who aren't even worth a mention.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......moving along

Anotheramy said...

"writer is sitting at her desk (in elasticized waistband pants) packing chocolate into her gob"
And that doesnt sound like something from middle school?

zeldafitzgerald said...

I like it. I don't think the child will be teased anymore than anyone else's child with a ridiculous name or ridiculous spellings.

I did a job the other day where a child was called Emithyst. I shit you not.

She'll more likely be tortured with GAY FISH jokes.

Zeeky_Boogy_Doog said...

Cathy said...
"Are we sure it isn't Knorth West, with a silent k?"

Man, I wish all those K's were silent!

----

I hope that when Gramma Pimpkin starts selling this poor kid it's in pop music, and North West scores an opening-band slot with One Direction.

usernametaken said...

"And that doesnt sound like something from middle school?"
Says the person commenting on a site that has a primary function of mocking and pocking fun at complete strangers. Pot, meet kettle.

usernametaken said...

*poking. Whoopsie!

B Smears said...

Other name options: Go, Nine....

April Walsh said...

I actually don;t hate that name. I mean, it's better than the crazy-ass stuff I thought they'd come up with.