Monday, June 06, 2011

Ted C Blind Item

Barry Wanger-Banger is a muy funny fella. 'Tho, must fess, the tabloids haven't been talking about Barry for any of his silly shenanigans lately. In fact, they've been talking about the crap he does that could kill him, which is a damn shame.

But B-man is getting his life together, so we thought we'd share a titillating tale that we definitely find LOL-worthy about Mr. Wanger and his more pleasant Vice:

You know, the fact that he's totally into dudes!

Of course, like any H'wood hunk worth his B-list status, BWB can keep his secrets just that.

Yep, Barry has taken note from the many closeted cuties before him and loves parading around T-town with a new hot thing—some models, some actresses, he doesn't care too much, really.

But after wining and dining these babes at some of the swankiest hot spots in town—where he's sure to get some paparazzi attention with his charming smile and sometimes six-pack—the real fun starts when he invites them back to his place. (Not even Toothy Tile is dim enough to pull the crap you're about to read.)

'Cause here's the kicker: Barry lets the gals think he actually wants to get it on with them!

One partic clueless chick—who's actually got a recognizable puss herself—arrived back at B's place and was itching to see what he was packing when—poof!—Barry just up and disappeared.

The unlucky lady sat twiddling her thumbs in his family room, wondering where the hell her date went, before she finally started searching for him. And that's when she learned the truth:

Three is definitely a crowd.

See, Barry had slipped outside to play a game of midnight basketball—no, that's not a dirty little saying...We actually mean with the orange ball and a hoop and whatnot—with a sexy, shirtless stud.

Barry's poor date watched all the ass slapping and lingering congratulations as the two sweaty boys played with each other out back before deciding she was had suddenly become the third wheel and hit the road.

So, then Barry and his BF hit the showers.

Now these are the kind of stories we like to hear from ya, Bar. You always know how to make us laugh.

And It Ain't: Shia LaBeouf, Charlie Sheen, Seth Rogen

23 comments:

Murphy Brown 2020 said...

*yaaaaaaaaaaaaawn*

Yet another OMG, EVERYONE'S GAY! HE'S GAY SHE'S GAY YOU'RE GAY YOUR MOM'S GAY!! Ted blind.

Sean William Scott is my guess. It's duh-worthy, but there you have it.

MontanaMarriott said...

What is the connection in the it ain'ts? Two of them have starred in Summer movies, can't think what the Charlie Sheen connection is there.

*Miss_P* said...

Leonardo DiCaprio

RocketQueen said...

Good lord. So a chick went over to a guy's house to get laid, and instead he blew her off to play basketball with someone else. This makes him gay? What a stretch.

Baka Neko said...

Has any of the Ted Casablanca blinds every been revealed to be true?His blinds seem to be as reliable as Buzz Photo.

Mango said...

@ Ida: I've long thought that Sean William Scott was gay (he was even on MTV Cribs with his "roommate") but he is hardly seen parading around with hot chicks. He seems to keep a low profile.

SusanB said...

I read about two paragraphs and gave up.

looserdude said...

I agree with Ida. If a guy is gay and isn't running for President on the "family values" ticket, then who cares.

temats said...

What is with the reference to "Bar" - is that a clue to Leo?

Whitney said...

I think the only reason that Charlie's in there is because of the first paragraph- talking about drug problems. And since Sean William Scott just went through rehab... seems like he's a good guess.

KellyLynn said...

Yeah, this one isn't even blind-worthy, no matter who it is. So he traded meaningless sex for meaningless sport. This is salacious, how?

Even if the b-ball was some kind of jock foreplay, who cares? He wasn't hurting anything but the girl's pride. Whatever.

RocketQueen said...

^^ Exactly, KellyLynn. Sounds like some chick got burned so she went tattling to Ted.

crila16 said...

Please tell me how this means that Sean is gay? I get that he ditched the chick to play basketball with his guy friend...but guys will do that if they get turned off to a girl, or realize they're just not that into her. Maybe the chick insulted and turned him off. Maybe she was a bad kisser. Maybe he was doing drugs and was acting flakey. Maybe she smelled like B.O. How does Ted know they hit the showers together if the chick with the big mouth was already gone? How do you know she wasn't bitter and just said it and Ted jumped all over it for ratings? I know a lot of these guys are gay, because they're in the performing arts field, but c'mon...everyone who's attractive??? According to Ted, all the HOT HOT HOT actors are gay.

ardleighstreet said...

Who cares but sometimes 6 pack abs? Gerry Butler.

ForSure said...

I really wish Enty would not post the Ted c blinds. Let blinditemsexposed.com handle them, they are rabid about keeping lists and do a better job than anyone else deciphering TedSpeak. Leave the space here for us to do other things, like make fun of Paris Hilton some more. ;)

mooshki said...

I'snt "BWB" basically a giveaway? I've often seen him referred to as "SWS."

Jason Blue Eyes said...

Agree with evetryone here: These "So-and-so is actually into dudes" posts are tiresome.

But I'll still guess - Chace Crawford.

Tatyana said...

*yawn* So it's this time of year again for Ted to come up with an elaborate fantasy and pass it off as a blind?

The Black Cat said...

Oh well, may be Enty finds these blinds amusing.

Gabby said...

@temats - that's what I thought on first glance, but Ted's just saying "Bar" as a nickname for Barry. He loves giving his blind vice names nicknames!! So confusing sometimes.

Char said...

This doesn't even seem like anything... no proof here that the guy is acutally gay, maybe he just wasn't into the girl.

I have a really difficult time buying much that Ted puts out...

that being said, Baka Neko asked if Ted's blinds have even proven to be true, and yes, quite a few have actually. However, I'd say that quite a few have also been "proven" false (and yes it is hard to "prove" something false when Ted could easily turn around and say, that wasn't who the blind was about! but still... good as proven anyway)

Spicy Pumpkin said...

Matthew Perry just went back to rehab...

sunnyside1213 said...

I like the Sean guess. Did anyone else see the before and after rehab pics? He went from flabby to not.

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