Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Thank You Television Viewers


For the second week in a row, the people of North America have made me very proud, especially those of you living in America. I am so happy right now, I might cry. Seriously, this is how I feel when I have not had bacon in a couple of days. Last week the world showed they did not care about Paris Hilton's new show and turned away from it in huge numbers. I did watch it and felt horrible because I watched it from On Demand so now there will be a record I watched it and feel I have devastated society by my actions but I need to know what I slam. You cannot slam something without watching it. I hate when people do that.

Anyway, despite all the publicity in the Kardashian family including a five minute nipple slip on national television from Khloe and the whole sexting cheating thing with Kim, no one watched the season premiere of The Kardashians. Oh sure, there were still almost 2.5 million viewers to the premiere but it is down 50% from last year's premiere. That is such good news. The premiere is when everyone watches. If the show can drop another 50% this week then we might be able to get rid of them after this season. Can you imagine a world where there are no Kardashian shows? Can you imagine how fresher the world will seem? The air more crisp and clean? Of course this might end up leading to some kind of Kardashian/Hilton show which would be pretty much like the devil fighting himself.

32 comments:

Murphy Brown 2020 said...

"The premiere is when everyone watches."

Bullshit. E! should change its name to K!, because that channel is a total Kardashianfest. You missed the premiere? You can easily watch it ten times the next day. No problem.

In the age of Sidereel and Netflix, there's no reason to even HAVE cable anymore -- unless you're stealing it. ;-)

Pookie said...

i'm sorry, enty, but i do not need to watch paris' show to slam it. your theory only applies to the non-vile people of the world. knowing that she has one is acceptable enough for all sorts of slamming.

a 50% drop is massive in tv world...*crossed fingers* that it drops further. at least paris will be in good company.

timebob said...

I admit I watched the Paris show on demand just to see if the second episode is worse.

And it was they exploited Brooke's addiction even worse. Paris lost whatever it is she had that got the tweens in a frenzy. She is just a boring, vapid, mean person and her voice overs are just un-funny.

The Kardashians just ate themselves from the inside out over saturating the market with all these shows. Like Facebook people are getting sick of it and turning away.

flwrgurl said...

okay all if we all commune together and pray ever night this can happen. WE CAN GET RID OF THE WHOREDASHIANS

RocketQueen said...

Excellent post and news, Enty :)

Little Miss Smoke and Mirrors said...

DO NOT WATCH THESE SHOWS! The curiosity factor is not worth the ratings they get when they do. Get these WHORES off the air, ALL of them.

And a special FUCK YOU to Ryan Seacrest for his contribution in foisting the Kardashian mess on an unsuspecting America. Does this make Ryan a domestic terrorist? I'd say yes.

jax said...

ryan is clearly the devil. you'd think when he was snacking on Merv's bone he would have given Ryan better producing tips.

MISCH said...

I have never watched any o this trash.

PotPourri said...

The Kardashians are complete and Utter TRASH!

0 said...

Who exactly ARE the people actually watching the Karshians??? I have yet to encounter one single soul who admits to watching that trash.

And yes, Enty, you can slam something without watching it. Don't be silly.

parissucksliterally said...

hurrah! And I stand behind LittleMissSmokeandMirrors!

Jasmine said...

"Of course this might end up leading to some kind of Kardashian/Hilton show which would be pretty much like the devil fighting himself."

Hehehehe.
Awesome Enty.
(And that show, I WOULD watch. At least the first 5 min. How often do you get to watch true evil face each other, outside of Freddy vs Jason??)

Sonia in MO said...

Good things do come to those who wait :)

Anonymous said...

"You cannot slam something without watching it."

Um, are there new rules and nobody told me because this one is a serious buzzkill.

Rita said...

Finally, North America is getting its pride back!

Finally realized that the likes of Kardashians and Hiltons are ruining our daughters' future. We might able to control what they see on TV, but all those 'reality Queens' are all over media outlets, and getting notice outside of their shows.

Kill their shows, raise girls' self-esteem!

weezy said...

Now if NYC can just get their Dash store closed -- they're threatening to open another one, this time on the upper East Side of Manhattan.

Anonymous said...

LOL@jax & LMS&M

Anonymous said...

If there's a downside, it's that The Soup will lose at least 1-2 good clips/accompanying snark each week. And 90% of my understanding of the Kardashians relates to what I see from The Soup (the other 10 being mag headlines @ the impluse rack).

Just saying. I safely assume that a ton of fellow commenters watch the Soup.

Barton Fink said...

I've never seen any Kardashian project. I hate them so much that I boycott anything related to that family, including Wheaties!

Mango said...

@jax - LMFAO at snacking on Merv's bone. Classic!

I have trouble remembering which Kardassian is which. I know who Kim is but I never know which is Khloe or Kourtney or the next K trick. THAT'S how special they are.

bluebonnetmom said...

@ Little Miss Smoke and Mirrors and Jax - LMAO - Priceless.
So glad I have never watched either one of these damned shows. Don't you know Kris Jenner is curled up on a bed in a fetal position as we speak....

Jason Blue Eyes said...

Truthfully I don't give a shit if there are any Kardashian shows or not. I don't watch 'em.

I will feel ecstatic when Big-jaw Leno is gone, though.

parissucksliterally said...

bluebonnetmom, the reason we care is while there are shows on and doing well, they will keep getting endorsements and shoved in our faces


And I know this is so mean, but that youngest one, next to Khloe is so fucking ugly. I can't even look at that face.

Meg said...

Most of you will hate me for this but....

Khloe & Lamar was on in marathon format so I watched part of that this weekend. And part of the end of season recap show for KUWTHK.

Kim drank Kourtney's breast milk. And they talk about incest A LOT.

I'm officially ok if none of these people are ever on television again.

Bit dams said...

Don't watch the shows, but it's like you can't escape this family! I saw a preview where one of the little sisters was so smart mouthed to one of the older ones it was sickening. Another group of hallow headed idiots.

I can't wait for them to disappear, along with that blond chick from the real housewives show that is suddenly everywhere.

feraltart said...

I confess to being naive. I watched the Kardashians until the guy who took Bruce shopping turned up as an actor on 30 Rock. Feel free to laugh at me for thinking reality meant that. Now I am as jaded & cynical as everybody else re: reality shows.

Robert said...

You really wanna get mad? Reportedly, Kim Kardashian is "worth" $35,000,000. That's thirty-five million dollars.

kathrynnova said...

even if paris and the kardahes go off of the air, there will still be some trashy, useless starlet/family with her/their own show that drives us all crazy with its bullshit publicity. this is a "reality" of living in america.

note that this post follows the jessica simpson new show post. enough said.

no taste, america. UGH.

Gary T. Burnaska said...

I do not know what is fascinating about these people. The only reality shows worth watching are: American Chopper, Deadliest Catch and Sons of Guns. Because you see people do a job or build something.

I will not be suprised if Demi Lovato and Selena Gomez get shows. So we can see how Demi is dealing with her recovery (least that will be inspiring) and we can watch Selena date Justin until we want to puke. Which will not take that long.

nunaurbiz said...

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

__-__=__ said...

It's shows like this, and commercials, that made me drop cable totally. It's a whole new life. I only watch what I want to watch. I actually WATCH tv now, instead of having it on and running about the house doing errands and such. And now I watch quality things, not trash and propaganda. I would encourage everyone to do the same. Makes the world a better place!

Henriette said...

I just want Khloe to admit she is a hermaphrodite and a spawn of Big Foot. I don't have to watch any of these shows to find that out, because the internet is filled with stories about them. Heck, I don't have to watch anything anymore when so many gossip blogs tell me so much!

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