Wednesday, August 04, 2021

Today's Blind Items - 90's Limo Driver

The driver arrived in a stretch to the high rise condo complex on Wilshire Boulevard ten minutes early to pick up the Academy Award winning actor. The driver told the doorman he was there to pick up the actor and returned to his car. The driver had just sat down when the actor opened the back door and climbed inside, startling him. “Go!” the actor shouted, and the driver shifted into drive and the car lurched forward. The driver noticed a pap coming out of the bushes to snap a picture. The actor was watching him out the back window, The actor finally relaxed, opened his newspaper and sipped his coffee. The driver was driving over Coldwater Canyon to the Burbank airport. He was driving fast, because he assumed that was what the actor wanted. The actor lowered his paper, “ You’re throwing me around in this big old car,” he complained in his trademark drawl. The driver apologized and slowed down. They got onto Chandler Boulevard, which is a long straight away with not much traffic and the driver picked up speed again. The actor lowered his paper, climbed up to the forward seat and stuck his head through the partition. “I thought I told you to slow this FUCKING THING DOWN!” The driver was surprised by the level of anger. The actor was known for playing a grouch. The driver slowed way down and the actor went back to his paper. The driver pulled onto Vineland and was driving 25 miles an hour. Cars behind him began honking. Some angry motorists sped around and flipped the limo off. The actor was oblivious to all that. The car finally pulled into the Burbank airport and was allowed to enter the tarmac. They were driving toward the studio jet when the actor yelled at him. “No, it’s that one,” he said, pointing to another jet. “I don’t think so,” the driver said. “You don’t take direction well, do you?” the actor snarled. The driver turned and drove to the other jet and stopped. The actor stared at the jet a moment. “I guess you were right. I’ll walk from here,” the actor finally admitted and climbed out of the car, leaving his coffee cup and newspaper strewn throughout the back of the car. The actor walked to the studio jet some 200 yards away. He was dressed impeccably in a suit. The driver kept the coffee cup as a souvenir. 

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