Russell Brand A Disappointment In Bed

I don't know if you have been keeping up with the whole Russell Brand quitting his BBC show or Jonathon Ross getting suspended from the BBC but it has been a fairly amusing couple of days. I don't want to get into all the details but basically Russell and Jonathon called up Georgina Baillie's grandfather who is the actor Andrew Sachs and kept telling him that Russell had slept with Georgina.

Well in the first day after this all came out Georgina was distraught and said it sucked and she felt sorry for her grandfather. Good. Then she should have stopped talking about it. But nooooo. Instead, each day she gives two or three other interviews to tabloids and goes into greater details and has more of her fetish photographs released which must make Andrew a really proud grandfather.

Her interviews for the tabloids today though were the best. She said she thinks she slept with Russell three times including the first date. But, she also said that "I'm not going to go into detail about what happened there although I'm obviously no shrinking violet. I will only say he's a disappointment in the bedroom considering he has had so much practice."

So, Russell you had to quit your job and you are being called a disappointment in bed. That sucks. I have been called a disappointment in bed lots of times, but never publicly. Oh sure there was the time when ex-wife number three made the announcement at Thanksgiving dinner in front of the family, but hey, I have been a disappointment to them in everything else, so finding out I lasted 5 seconds was not going to be high up on their list of my failings.

My question is that if he was so bad in bed, why did she sleep with him twice more at least and want to keep seeing him?

Jennifer Aniston Is Really Stipud

I don't actually think Jennifer Aniston is stupid. I think she is annoying as all hell, but I don't think she is stupid. I wouldn't want to hang out with her, but I don't think she's stupid. I don't think she is all that great looking, but I don't think she's stupid. I think she needs to shower more often, but I don't think she's stupid. But what I think is beside the point. John Mayer thinks Jennifer Aniston is as dumb as a box of rocks at least according to Pink. Apparently Pink and John Mayer got into some kind of fight. Pink likes real guys and the douche bagginess of John Mayer did not rub her the right way.

John told her that he only sleeps with really stupid women. According to The Sun, Pink said something along the lines of they would have to be really stupid to want to. Now, can we all assume that John and Jen have slept together? Can we assume that John and Jessica Simpson slept together? So, if you can walk and talk at the same time, John Mayer is not interested in you at all. But, if you like to sit around and talk about nothing all day, then here comes John.

That's Why Yahoo Is Losing Market Share

Do you remember a few months ago when I posted about Courtenay Semel getting in a little trouble at a Vegas nightclub? Well apparently the security guard who had to deal with Courtenay has decided to sue. Hell, I would sue to. I mean this is the daughter of Yahoo's founder. The security guard didn't specify any damages but I'm guessing $50,000 would probably make him go away. Hell, Terry Semel probably spends that much on breakfast. You don't think so? You don't think Terry has tried one of those caviar breakfast things they are always showing on the news? I bet he has.

Anyway, Courtenay was drunk off her ass. I would be too if I had to go home and pretend to like having sex with Tila Tequila. Apparently Courtenay getting drunk equals fist to the face of the security guard. The guard says he has been humiliated. Hell yes he was. You let some woman who weighs 100 pounds kick your ass. You are a bouncer at a nightclub in Vegas, and you let some tiny thing kick your butt. You should be humiliated. He is also anxious about receiving harassing comments from his friends. He should be. Again, you are a bouncer at a huge Vegas club and you got your clock cleaned by a 100 pound drunk girl.

Oh, and what did Courtenay say to the security guard? Do you even know who I am, f**king idiot?...Google me, you dumb f**k."

See, when the daughter of a Yahoo founder is hawking Google it is no wonder that no one uses the Yahoo search engine anymore. If anyone on the planet should be telling people to use the Yahoo search engine it should be the woman who stands to inherit lots more money if it does well.

They Skipped?

I have been avoiding posting anything about Carrie Underwood and the guy she claims she is dating now. He was on The Bachelor. I know, I know but he hosts The Doctors too. Yeah, that guy, Travis Stork. What is he like 50? I know, he is in his 30's. Whatever. It really doesn't matter. It isn't like there is this long line of people waiting patiently to date Carrie Underwood. Hell, even the stalkers leave her alone. The stalkers like to be the mean ones in the relationship.

So, apparently Carrie and Travis hereinafter referred to as Understork which is not to be confused with Underdog, because that is someone you actually cared about. Anyway, the couple was eating dinner in Philadelphia and were joined by another couple who couldn't gracefully exit when they saw who they were to be dining with. You know, I'm trashing Carrie here, but do I still owe her one for trashing Jessica Simpson? No, no, I think I said something nice about Carrie a few months ago in a photo or something, so we can continue. Where was I?

Oh yes, so the four had dinner and Carrie referred to Travis as her boyfriend all night. Umm, who was she saying this to?

Waiter: Can I clear that for you?

Carrie: Yes, and would you clear my boyfriend's plate as well.

You see? Kind of awkward. And to put the capper on this ridiculous story. When Carrie and Travis departed the restaurant, the couple skipped down the sidewalk. They skipped? First of all I don't see some 36 year old doctor skipping unless Carrie offered him something if you know what I mean. And Carrie Underwood skipping? That would presume she was a happy go-lucky person, and I don't see that. But you know what? I think the story came from Kneepads and in their mind every couple skips after holding hands at dinner and then they go back to the hotel and push twin beds together to make one.

It's The Call Of The Chicken Wings

John Daly was taken to jail over the weekend and I don't think anyone noticed. I don't know how many of you know who John Daly is, but he is a world class drunk and a world class golfer who basically let the drinking win out. Oh, and the gambling. Yeah, he is such a gambler that he won $700,000 in a tournament once and within 8 hours had flown to Vegas and blown it all plus another few hundred thousand. He has been married four times, with one of those wives spending time in federal prison with her dad for some kind of fraud thing. Anyway, I thought it was kind of sad that he was picked up by the cops in North Carolina and I didn't even see anything on ESPN.

John wasn't actually arrested. He was just escorted to the drunk tank to sleep it off. Apparently John was on his tour bus and he, and everyone else on board decided that stopping at Hooters would be a great idea. Well after eating 100 chicken wings and drinking six pitchers of beer all by himself, people did not want John back on the bus. Not sure why since it was his bus. Possibly a gas problem? Who knows. So, he did what anyone would do after eating and drinking that much. He fell asleep in the parking lot. For some reason this is against the law in North Carolina. I guess he was blocking parking spaces or something. Maybe snoring too loud? Anyway, the cops took him to jail. One of John's friends who sounds like a real winner decided to call the police a few choice words and so he actually was arrested. Real winner in all of this? Hooters. All the free publicity plus they are a sponsor of John Daly. They must be proud.

Thank Goodness The Sheep Were Locked Up

I'm so tired of meth arrests and DUI's and the normal Hollywood stuff, so thank goodness for Jack Pullman. Jack, who is the fine looking redneck in the photo above is the son of Bill Pullman. As you can tell from the photo above, Jack was arrested. What pray tell was Jack arrested for? How about underage drinking and possession of moonshine? I know, I know. I love it. I think the only reason they got hauled off to jail is apparently Jack was not too keen on the officer who confronted him about drinking and it is alleged that Jack resisted the officer and assaulted him.

Now, Jack doesn't look like he was doing much of the assaulting looking at the photo, but I wouldn't be surprised if he took a swing or two. Moonshine does that to you. Moonshine is some fabulous stuff. If you have never tried any, you can try and make your own, but it won't taste the same. You have to get it from the mountains of Appalachia. And the bonus is that if you don't like the taste it makes for one hell of a charcoal starter.

Apparently Bill Pullman could not be reached for comment. No doubt he was glued to the television because Independence Day was on. You need to move past it Bill. You will have another hit.

John Edwards Wants You To Know He Is Still An Ass

It is tough to comprehends the level of assitudeness that John Edwards is reaching. I don't think there has ever been anything quite approaching it. Sure, Balthazar Getty came close, but his wife wasn't dying of cancer. True, he chose Sienna Miller, which makes it close, but I think John Edwards is the clear winner of the a-hole of the year award. I know there are still a couple of months in the year remaining for someone to do something spectacular, but I just don't see someone catching him.

The Washington Post was covering a speech that Elizabeth Edwards gave Monday night and she was not wearing her wedding ring for the first time ever that anyone could remember. You would think John would have been the best husband in the whole world after all the recent revelations. Nope. Guess again. Instead of spending time with the woman he has been with forever he has instead been spending a great deal of time with Rielle Hunter and her child. His child? I don't know. Guess if he grows up with a twang and a penchant for cheating we will know it is his.

So, not only do you abandon your terminally ill wife, but you go back to the woman that caused all the trouble in the first place? You would rather hang out with Rielle than your dying wife? Does John Edwards even have anyone who wants to be with him? I mean friends? Would you be his friend? I think he is disgusting and to turn your back on your family to be with someone as awful as Rielle Hunter automatically earns you the a-hole of the year.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Who has shaken and stirred more girls than Bond, to the annoyance of his missus?