Friday, April 27, 2012

Fox News Adds Kim Kardashian To The Lindsay Lohan Table


Fox News is becoming quite the D list lover. Yesterday I wrote about how Lindsay Lohan would be seated at their table for the White House Correspondent's Dinner and now they have really lowered the IQ by putting Kim Kardashian at the same table. Kim, who you last saw on 30 Rock last night clogging a toilet has been to this dinner before. I'm trying to picture the conversation at the table and imagine it going something like this.


Lindsay - Umm, sorry I'm three hours late. Oh, is it almost over? I really thought the invitation said 11pm, not 8pm. Anyone know where I can smoke? Is there a private bathroom here I can use? Do we have to sit in one place or can we move around? Are there always this many old people at this club? Not a club? What? I was told this was a club. The people in here are in a club? Oh, you mean like Rotary or something? Where is the President? Is he going to come around to meet me? No one is going to pat me down before I see him right? Does anyone know where that bathroom is? I really need it.

Kim - I'm sorry I've been texting the last hour. I don't mean to be rude but I'm signing a deal to be the spokesperson for some other company you have never heard of and going to be in your faces even more because I know you like looking at me. I like looking at me so why shouldn't you love looking at me? My record for taking photos of myself is 420 in one day, but after that I got tired of changing outfits and the lighting in my room changed so I had to stop. I love the mirrors in my house. They are amazing. Not as amazing as my boyfriend though. He is the best. I'm going to marry him and have babies. Oh, no my boyfriend just broke up with me. Which of these people here has the most money? Oh, him? Yeah, I have always had a crush on Jon Stewart. He was in Big Daddy. Daily Show? Does it come on every day? Never heard of it. I can't wait to start dating him and get married and have babies. He's married? Have you seen me? Oh, don't mind the cameras. I take them everywhere. Ignore the workers, I do.

38 comments:

Sunshine13 said...

Ahahaha that was pretty great! And realistic!

Check out Kim's old face...she was so much prettier then. They both were.

hunter said...

Wow, they've really both changed so much.

Agent**It said...

Enty that was hilarious.

Rickatoo said...

Was the Kim/toilet thing on the west coast version?

donner said...

Kim better hold check her diamond earrings frequently if she's sitting next to Lohan....

MonstersInc said...

I really can't pinpoint what's so different about Kim's face? Is it the nose or the eyes? Is it that she wears lighter make up? I can't stand her but whenever I see old pictures of her I can't help trying to figure it out.

Enty, that was hilarious. And uber realistic. I haven't seen the 30 Rock yet, I had to work last night. Was it any good?

Vicki Cupper said...

Hahahahahaha!!!

Lindsay will try to snort the table salt and Kim will try to get Obama to pee on her.

It's very juvenile of Fox "News" to bring these people. "We have such a low opinion of Obama and his administration that we'll bring a reality star and a crackwhore felon to the Correspondence Dinner."

EmEyeKay said...

They both look younger, and more real. I think it's Kim's eyes (?)

Grumble, grumble, grrrr...

timebob said...

Lets just call this what this is
Dinner for Schmucks goes to the White House.

Well played, Greta.

MISCH said...

So it's the Ho table....sweet

crila16 said...

It's so funny that Fox is doing this. I think it's hysterical and a slap in the face.

surfer said...

That was hilarious - loved the line "Daily Show? Does it come on every day?" Mental giants, both of them.

Sunshine13 said...

@MonstersInc:

Yeah, I haven't bothered doing a side by side photo comparison, but I think it's her nose that's mostly different. And her lips are less plumpled. Also, her face looks less filled and frozen overall.

Sunshine13 said...

Obviously, plumpled should be plumped. However, I think plumpled actually describes Kim's lips pretty well.

RenoBlondee said...

That was funny Enty.
This trash!

Agent**It said...
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Patty said...

Yup, there is something different about Kim's old face. Not sure exactly what so I'll give props to her plastic surgeon.

The correspondents dinner is usually a light event with a lot of joking and making fun of the president and company. Funny thing is LiLo and KK are the jokes for Fox's table and I don't think they get it.

MonstersInc said...

Sunshine13 LOL, I much prefer to call her plumpled from now on :)

Seachica said...

LiLo, Kim K, and Fox, in one spot. Don't be surprised if you hear about a new super-virus discovered after this event.

anita_mark said...

KK was on the west coast feed of 30 Rock last night. I was furious (especially considering who they used for the east coast feed). I also thought it odd since 30 Rock has mocked her before (when Jack had the audio remote) and Jon Hamm's comments.

The Jon Hamm scene was the most offensive thing I've ever seen in my life. The only thing that'll stop NBC from being burned to the ground for it is they used Jon Hamm. He's a national treasure.

MadLyb said...

I guess Fox "News" needed to class up their table a bit, LOL. I'm not joking, either.

Agent**It said...
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Sadie said...

I am SO thankful I'm an east coaster and was subjected to McCartney instead of Kartrashian!

Danielle said...

I think the differences between Kim's old face and new one are nose job, fillers (getting rid of ALL lines around her nose and mouth), hair line waxing, and it looks like not only have her lips been plumped but they also look like they've been completely reshaped. Most of all though, she just wears a SH*T TON of make up now.
http://www.celebrityplasticsurgery24.com/kim-kardashian-plastic-surgery/#

This is my life said...

Now, if the can also bring Parisite, they'll have all the colours of the nastiness rainbow!

mynerva said...

Throw Paris Hilton and Diddy into the mix and you've got my own private hell

parissucksliterally said...

Kim's old face was much prettier. It wasn't as "perfect", it had character.

Her nose was totally done. I hate that she lies and says she hasn't had work done. What a fucking joke. You look SO different, you lying asshole.

DianaofThemyscira said...

Seriously. 30 Rock hasn't exactly been living up to expectations lately and yesterday was the last straw. When you invite a Kardouchinne to your party, it's time for me to leave for more exclusive parts. This goes for both TV and real life (no, I won't take a photo with you Kim.)

EmEyeKay said...

I am SO PISSED - I just read that Kim is on 30 Rock, which is in my Hulu queue. It's one of my favorite shows. Now I don't know whether to watch it or not, since I'm anti-Kardashian and I want them to go away. GRRRR! And to top it off, they did it LIVE, which makes me want to see it even more!

Brenda Love said...

Back in my day at parties there would be young ladies who would bet each other who could have sex with the most guys that night. I could see something like this happening at the White House.

Seachica said...

A full list of celebrities going: http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0412/75596.html

I'm so glad that journalistic credibility holds true in the modern era. NOT.

I say this with a tear in my eye; I started my career in journalism, and know many journalists who have integrity. Unfortunately, very few of them make it big anymore. *sigh*

Agent**It said...
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Jason Blue Eyes said...
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Jason Blue Eyes said...

Lindsay's going to offer Spielberg a dirty, slobbering lapdance to get him to cast her in his next movie. Well, she would make a pretty good alien when you think about it. Production will save a fortune in make-up.

anita_mark said...

@EmEyeKay, she's only on the west coast feed (don't know where you are). But the episode was funny as hell and she's only one it for less than a minute (if that). It's horrible that she's getting any attention but don't not watch because of her. It's just too funny an episode.

skydives1 said...

The Cracken missed her flight to D.C. for the dinner. I guess the question is "is she going to make it?"

elspeth said...

Their presence gives a new meaning to the term 'Fox Hole'.

:| raven |: said...

bwhahahahahah Enty. this was brilliant!!!