Schools Are Crazy - Girl Not Allowed To Go Solo To Prom
Sometimes I really don't understand the people that get put in charge of schools and school systems. Of course I also don't understand why everyday in the news some teacher is reported to have had sex with a student too. Remember when that used to be shocking? That used to be national news and 24 hour news coverage. Now it happens so frequently, it is a blurb in the papers which no one reads anyway. I'm surprised newspapers even exist anymore at this point.
Anyway, this girl in Philadelphia was supposed to go to prom with a guy and bought the dress and shoes and tickets and spent $1000. Then her date canceled on her because he is a tool. Well, now the school said that because she doesn't have a date she can't go to prom. WTF? The school where Amanda Dougherty goes to school is a Catholic school and the Philadelphia archdiocese has got involved and says that prom is a special social occasion and that you are not allowed to go without a date. Huh? Seriously? Is it a sin to go alone? So, they would rather have their students miss out on their prom than go alone? I don't understand the policy at all.
71 comments:
No one's a winner here. School's definitely the bigger idiot, but spending a thousand bucks on a dress you'll wear once is also stupid.
Haha im not surprised. I remember not even wanting to go to the prom at all! I did end up going with my gay male best friend! As for her, she did spend alot and the Catholic School is being unfair! Maybe she can meet up with the crowd afterwards. *being positive*
Nothing like teaching young ladies that they are nothing without a man by their side.... :/
Idiot school! The more I read about things, the more likely I am to take my kids out of school and homeschool them!
@nettalovesrobin
I went with my best gay male friend to my senior prom, too! Best prom out of the 3 I went to!
Good job foiling the plot of girls not needing boys to feel good about themselves! And stomping out the idea that women can get anywhere in life without a man.
My parents wouldn't let me date until I was 16. I went to tons of dances solo. And while I did feel a little weird about it, when I started going with dates it wasn't nearly as fun.
Lol NaNa. My mom and his parents were real happy we were going together but for completly different reasons!
Ob please i cannot even believe the archdiocese got involved!!!! This so stupid its incomprehensible. And if she has no date, isnt she less likely to get carried away and have premartital sex? So, in essence, the church is setting things up so kids are free to firnicate on prom night!!
I'm just being as idiotic as they are. I hoPe some non tool guy steps up and takes her. I had no interest in my prom, didnt go, and I gotta tell ya, never once have i said ' oh gosh my life wld be better if only i had gone to Prom!'.
They would rather have the girls stay home than go alone.
He probably dumped her because she wouldn't put out and now her school won't let her go alone because we all know girls that go out alone just fuck as many random innocent guys as they can. *eyeroll*
To her boyfriend she's a bitch because she won't put out, and to her school she's a whore because she wants to go alone.
Fucking religion.
The real crime is the $1000 spent by the girl.
My boyfriend in high school wouldn't take me to prom because he thought it was lame. He said I could ask someone else so I did. The night before prom, the dude cancelled. I found out years later the reason he cancelled was because my boyfriend and some of his friends threatened to beat the shit out of my date if he took me.
I did not end up going solo and instead went rattlesnake hunting with my brother (hunting as in searching - not killing). I'll always be grateful to my brother for that day.
That all seems dramatic and sad but the next year I went to prom with a junior (tool boyfriend and I had broken up). I spent the whole evening in the bathroom trying to avoid the kid. You think I would have had some better manners considering how I had been treated.
hope she goes with a guy friend or that a whole bunch of singletons go together and get around the rule.
It's easy to spend $1k when you factor in the dress, the shoes, the tickets, the undergarments, the hair, renting a limo and all that. The guy usually only rents a tux and pays for the corsage and maybe the dinner before.
I am from went to an all girl Catholic school in Philly and we werent allowed to go solo...then again I never did want to go to my junior or senior prom. I heard they both sucked anyways, hahaha.
I hope someone cool steps up and escorts her to prom
PA-FL-AZ = No bueno
So the Catholic school is trying to keep out the one kid they can count on NOT having premarital sex that night?
I was so not interested in prom but a male friend had asked me to go and with family and peer pressure I finally caved. I ended up borrowing a dress and accessories, doing my own hair and makeup and my date paid for the tickets and limo. I ended up spending 10 bucks for a spray tan!
I feel bad for the girl, having spent so much money and not being able to attend. They should let her anyways, who cares if she is alone?! It shouldn't matter, prom is a big deal to most girls and I feel awful that she might miss out. But maybe its for the best.
@NaNa LaLa
I was thinking the same thing. I guess she's supposed to be getting pregnant on prom night then marry in the church a few months later. That's the proper Catholic way.
Prom stories are the most brutal of all IMO. I hope someone steps up to go with her.
This is an incredibly ridiculous situation. At my prom at a Catholic high school, sure we had dates but being with our friends was important too, including some without dates. It wasn't even a blip on the radar that some didn't have dates, we didn't care. This is so lame it boggles the mind.
Lame.
@auntliddy: "so kids are free to firnicate on prom night!!"
Firnicate -- read that in the Southpark voice of those guys that say "THEY TOOK OUR JERBS!!!"
(jobs)
I wonder if they'd let her bring another female as a date. I bet not.
I went to Catholic school, they didn't care if you had a date. Actually, grad (we didn't use the word prom, it was an American term) was off school premises so I don't think they had much control over anything.
What high school girl has $1000 for a dress? I've got a pile of old bridesmaid and formal dresses at home that I keep meaning to donate.
What I hate most about this is the reminder of how in high school at times it really did feel like certain teachers and administrators actively participated in and reinforced the f*cking clique hierarchy and mentality.
I also attended a Catholic school and anyone who bought a ticket could go to prom, with or without a date.
Not all Catholic schools discriminate, and not all Catholics are nutty bigots.
Seems like it's just the ones in charge.
My prom dress cost 14.95 on the clearance rack back in November. I worked at Famous Footwear at the time, so my shoes were discounted. We didn't get a limo cause our prom was in Toledo (we lived over the border in Michigan). My hair was an updo... It really can be done cheap
The amount of money spent is irrelevent.
This ruling really ticks me off.
Thank you! I can't believe people are focusing on the pricetag when this girl's school is saying she can't go to her prom, that she paid for, because she can't get a date.
I think she should take a girl as her date.
I went to two proms. One was at a Catholic HS, and my date brought two girls (we were all friends). We had so much fun, I remember that prom much better than the one at my HS!
oh yea, the girl was on the local radio station yesterday saying she found a date but still wants the rule to be changed (as it should!) and the station gave her some concert tickets
girls would not be allowed as dates since it's a Catholic school
oh yea, the girl was on the local radio station yesterday saying she found a date but still wants the rule to be changed (as it should!) and the station gave her some concert tickets
girls would not be allowed as dates since it's a Catholic school
The archdiocese's head would explode.
"Go alone?! That kind of independent thinking is of the devil, young lady!"
"Take a friend who happens to be a girl?! That kind of lesbionic thinking is of the devil, you hussy! You will go with a boy, get knocked up, and marry him, or you won't go at all!!!"
I went to a public school and no one could go to the prom without a date. I thought it was nice that you can go solo or with a group of friends these days.
I dont think people r just focusing on the money. I just think its alot for a junior prom but it is still crazy they wont let her go! If she got a date good for her, i guess!
i'm not going to pick on the catholics here, b/c i think all religious-affiliated schools make dumb ass moves at one point or another...but in general, any school that does prohibits a student from going dateless is ridiculous.
truly tho, i'm more offended at the $1k spent for this. good grief. we gripe about the message the school is sending out (justifiably so)...but what about the message the parents/guardians are sending out?!
Btw Enty, as we've all discussed here ad infinitum, it is NOT the case that more teachers are diddling students. That's always been the case, but it became sensationalized for awhile. Then the shock value wore off, so the media turns to those stories less often when they want to rouse the rabble.
I was raised Catholic (and went through the whole rigamarole of baptism, first holy communion, and confirmation). One of my best friends is gay and he was also raised Catholic. He wants us to get excommunicated because we are still considered Catholics by the church, I guess, even though we are both now atheists. He doesn't want the smug pope in Rome counting we two as practicing Catholics when we most certainly are NOT, lol.
If the parents have a grand to spend, then more power to them.
If the girl saved up the money, then good for her.
The school is disgraceful. The archdiocese is disgraceful. The attitude religious institutions have towards women lately is quickly becoming the norm.
I never did the prom thing- I think I went drinking on the bluffs with some guys I worked with instead, but my daughter went to hers with a couple of girlfriends and they went bowling in their prom dresses afterward and had a GREAT time- they were glad they didn't bring dates. They just went and had a great evening with a bunch of friends and no pressure.
Just saw on the Nightly News a few days ago that the average spent on prom this year is in that $1,000-$1,200 range, up from $800 last year. I agree that once you add it all up, you could easily get to a grand...but it's just not necessary. I remember getting a dress on clearance at BCBG ($400 marked down to $60!) having my sis-in-law who was in beauty school at the time do my hair and make-up...I couldn't have spent more than $100 that year.
I am a Christian; yes, some faith based schools are whackadoo, but we aren't all like that. And it pisses me off when schools do this kind of stuff, because it just perpetuates the stigma of faith. We aren't all nuts. Some of us are loving and open minded. :) Speaking from a Christian POV...can't vouch for Cathies!
WHAT??? Are you kidding me? Lots of people went to the prom alone when they were in highschool. Way to go teacher, teaching kids that one is a lonely number and you're nobody until somebody loves you.
She should take a girl and dance to slow jams all night. Just make sure there is video to watch those catholic heads explode.
^^HAHAHAHA^^
And stand front and center and make out with her when they announce the prom queen.
Does the Virgin Mary get crowned prom queen every year at a Catholic school?
Hey Cornbread- Catholics ARE Christians (the original Christians, in fact.) You mean that you speak from a Protestant perspective.
Prom was lame. I went to both jr (with a boyfriend) and sr (with a friend) years, because I kept being told how much I'd regret it if I didn't have that experience. So not true.
Hate that kids who don't have/can't get dates feel even more stigmatized and unwanted because they are excommunicated from this "mandatory" life experience.
This school is ridiculous. I went to an all girls Catholic high school and we were allowed to go by ourselves. Of course, we also had to be there at a certain time and were locked in and not allowed to leave early....but still.
Prom. Gah. So overrated.
Totally not surprised the Philly archdiocese got involved in this. Such a waste of time.
Also not surprised that the girl dropped a grand on the whole shebang. There's probably a boatload of students headed down to the Jersey Shore for a weekend of debauchery as well, which most like costs an even greater fortune.
I went to a Catholic high school and I was allowed to go to the prom by myself.
The same thing happened to me at a public school in upstate NY except we hadn't spent money on anything except the tickets. My bf and I broke up and b/c we were no longer a couple, neither of us could go even though the tickets were paid for unless we took someone else but then one person would miss out while the other was on a date to prom. I never understood the rule of couples only prom nights. Stupid school boards.
fuck that.
Ditto @ littlejenny!
This pissed me off so bad when I saw it on the news.
I tell you--I can't believe the Catholic Church has any members left as it is, and this kinda stupid shit ain't helping matters.
Hubby was born, bred and schooled Catholic. He was an acolyte, considered seminary--the whole nine yards through childhood and adolescence.
Now he will not step FOOT inside a Catholic Church to this day. They ruined him on it.
They have the BALLS to dictate women's bodies and sex lives and now a frigging solo admission to PROM for chrissakes?
But yet they continue to cover up all the pedophilia???
FUCKERS.
(And the fact that other stupid school systems have the same rules does not make it OK to me).
wonder if a boy would be allowed to go solo. feels like its morw of the "a woman needs a man" thing, rather than "partner up".
Huh. I'm seeing a lot of "judgment of others is bad, but it's okay when it involves making fun of religion!!!!" posts today.
I don't think it is a Catholic thing. I seem to remember the same rule at all the public schools in my area back in the day. I never thought much of it, because as a teenager you're all about dating. But looking at it now, it does seem strange you aren't allowed to have a good time at a party unless you are coupled...
Me. I got that feeling, too.
Popcorn, religion is evil. The end.
God, I went to a Catholic HS in Ireland no less and we had 2 formals - one at 16/17 then 18. Our whole school year always met up at the pub(no problems getting in!)before then going onto the hotel for the formal itself and the teachers knew we were pissed when we got there. At my second one, I was in the toilets holding a mates hair back when a teacher was outside the door conveniently turning a blind eye to the vomiting going on. Later the same friend had lost her camera so when we went around looking under all the tables the were piles of empty quarter bottles of vodka stacked up - girls had taped them to the inside of their legs to get them in...God, good memories. So the bloody Catholic hierarchy in Philly can suck it with their poxy little rule - there's worse to be getting up to!
Vicki you are the queen of this post.
The end.
I will say Popcorn that while there should be room for religious tolerance, situations like these that really highlights some of the bullshit traditional gender scripts many many relgions some dogged to maintain give us all room to poke at- because they're wrong.
Absolutely prohibiting a female going to a prom because she doesnt have a date has an underlining theme that she will be punished if she doesnt have a man by her side.
period.
*seem
I work at a Catholic HS and even chaperoned prom last weekend. We had gay couples there too! Our kids can go with whomever they want or can go alone. Our super nerdy and cute robotics team even went as a group!!! I'm just thankful my school is liberal.
this is ridiculous - can someone explain the point of this rule to me? i went "stag" to prom my jr year with a group of friends (we were class officers and had arranged the entire thing and had to work overseeing it the whole night so it didn't seem worth taking a date) and with a date sr year and had more fun jr year! tons of people at my school went alone/with a group of friends rather than in couples and seemed to have a great time.
anita_mark: There are a couple of organizations in the NYC-area that provide donated formal wear for girls who can't afford their own. You'd be doing a great kindness if you organized even a one-off event in a church/community center basement with a rack of dresses you and your friends donate, and maybe shoes, so the young ladies can dress nicely for their dance?
BTW, if the $1,000 only covers the girl's outfit,makeup/hair and flowers, I agree that's too much (especially in a region with such terrific shopping.) But if it's supposed to cover the limo and maybe the couples' share in an after-party (some kids drive to Atlantic City), then the $1,000 makes sense. Not acceptable, though.
I agree with you, Popcorn. It's interesting that people who take issue with those of us who are religious and call us bigoted -- even when we're NOT; I personally am a Catholic AND a straight ally -- don't even see the irony...that they're being bigots, to US, right back.
I can't tell you how many of my agnostic and atheist friends -- yes, FRIENDS! -- have made fun of me and other Christians, right to my face, and their argument is, "Well, the religious crazies started it with their bigotry!"
O-k-a-y, so with that logic, then, it should be okay for, say, an African-American man to attack a random white man, maybe beat him to a pulp, even, and then use the argument, "Well, the white man started it with his bigotry!"
Or for any group to attack another group, with this logic. Hopefully my point is made.
Two wrongs don't make a right, kids. And it wouldn't hurt to take the time to get to know people as individuals, rather than stereotype them. You know, like you're claiming that THEY do?
Just sayin'.
I wish I hadn't gone to my high school formal. Took my brother and no-one spoke to us fior the entire night. Have a great life now.
Yes--a lot of religions are stupid.
And violent.
and abusive.
And controlling.
And a lot of crappy stuff.
It's a fact. We bash, another fact.
Sorry!
I agree with all of you who are outraged by this. Why is there even a rule that you HAVE to have a date? I didn't even spend much time with either of my dates to prom because I was dancing the night away with my girlfriends. Seems like this would be a common occurrence and would have come up before now?
I feel bad for this girl. It is a rather bullshit decision by people who are idiots. [Yes .. you can feel free to read that as the Philadelphia Archdiocese, in this case.]
As for whether religion is a good or a bad .. for some it is great .. for others it is not. I know some people who are total asshole who profess to be religious .. I know some atheists who are the same.
I will say as an atheist .. I have gotten attacked far more than I had attacked, when I have made my personal feelings known. However, I would not doubt there are atheists out there who attack the religious with abandon. I am just not that into foisting my views on others .. they work for me .. I don't expect them to work for you.
So weird that she can't go alone. We have a "formal" in Australia at the end of yr 10 and 12. At my school is was a bit weird if you HAD a date.
wow I misread that as the "pedophilia archdiocese" by accident ... guess you know where I stand on the catholic church
@AKM - Very well put. I couldn't have said it better.
This is one school. It isn't every Catholic school or every Catholic person.
There are shitheads everywhere. They're not exclusive to the Catholic faith.
I graduated in 1989 from a Catholic school and needed a date. I see times don't change.
Oh how I love society...
I actually went to a Catholic Archdiocesan school in Philadelphia, graduating back in 2004. I went to my senior prom solo, as did a few other girls from my grade because our dates were unable to attend, so now the Archdiocese is just talking out of their ass.
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