Monday, October 07, 2013

Scarlett Johansson Is Esquire's 'Sexiest Woman Alive,' - Again

Seven years after first winning the award, Scarlett Johansson has been named the sexiest woman alive by Esquire. Is it right to have a repeat winner? Did they not have another publicist who had some favors to call in? Do I think Scarlett is sexy? Yes, but I think anyone who voluntarily had sex with Sean Penn in the past five years should be eliminated. I also think there are about a million other people who should be given the chance before you have a repeat winner. Is there no one else they could find. The only saving grace is they didn't repeat Jessica Biel as the winner. Remember the year they did that? They would have a tough time explaining that one now.

Mila Kunis won last year.

71 comments:

Kristin said...

Sexiest Man Alive has repeat winners.

She's hot. End of. At least it wasn't Hathaway, or kaley Cuoco... Or Julianne Hough.

Renoblondee said...

Scarlett *is* sexy.

Karen said...

I'm not a ScarJo fan, but who cares? If that's who Esquire wants, why should a million others be "given a chance?" It's kind of like saying that Romney should have beat Obama--because Obama already had a chance at being President during his first term. (I know, I know, one's a national vote and the other is behind closed doors at a magazine. STILL.)

Jay said...

She is not sexy at all.
She is short which is a turn off and being pretty (you can debate her beauty) does not equal "sexy"

crila16 said...

I never thought Scarlett was attractive. I look at her, and I just don't see it. She's just not a beautiful woman in my opinion, and I can't stand her mouth. I also think she's completely overrated as an actress.

I will say, that is a great picture of her, but it takes a lot of photoshopping to get her to look like that.

Rosso said...

Is this a similar deal to the People's Sexiest Man thing where the person picked has to agree to do an interview & all that? Or is it legit voted on by the magazine & whoever gets picked is picked regardless of whether they want to be involved or do an interview?

MerryB said...

I voted for Betty White

Vera L- said...

Crila +1

plokzy said...

... Those curves

Count Jerkula said...

@Jay: Why is short a turn off? WTF do long legs do for me?

ScarJo as sexiest is atleast believable, unlike Goop.

studio gulag -- said...

Frankly, her voice alone makes her the sexiest.

girl77007 said...

I don't mind Scarlett but my vote for sexiest betch ever will always go to Charlize.

S.joy said...

She's a pretty girl with an amazing body. While I think its stupid that Esquire thinks they can deem any one woman the sexiest alive, I definitely see why they chose her.

And for the record: I always thought short
women were just as awesome as tall women. Good thing we have Jay here to educate us.

Senor Salty said...

Esquire sucks, Scarlett sucks and not in a good way.

texas rose said...

@studio gulag- I was just going to make that same comment- she has that throaty sexy voice which is a huge turnon.

Orvilla Bedinbacher said...

@senor agreed! the only time scarlett was hot was in ghost world.

B. Profane said...

Like always, why is it that women think they get a say about sexy? Hetero guys are the ultimate arbiters of that. Is she, objectively, a dumpy chick with cellulite on her thighs and a voice that sounds like Mel Blanc gargling battery acid? Sure, but she's got a huge rack.

The Dude said...

Is Esquire still in print? i guess they have to do something to make people pay attention to them.

Jay said...

@Jay: Why is short a turn off? WTF do long legs do for me?

Well first, they tend not to get as chunky.

But the real answer to your question is: lay a tall woman flat on her back on the side of your bed, put her legs up on your shoulders and you'll see my point.

Right away.

Jay said...

S.joy said...



And for the record: I always thought short
women were just as awesome as tall women. Good thing we have Jay here to educate us.


Frankly, nobody gives a shit about what you think about women.

Seven of Eleven said...

Yeah, hetero guys are the ultimate arbiter of sexy.

@Karen, shut your whore mouth! Making sense on a Monday, not allowed unless you are super tall with a huge rack, zero cellulite, a pleasant voice, and not enough brains to question the menfolk.

Jazzy said...

I'd swim in the lady pond for her. Those curves and lips, yes and yes.

auntliddy said...

I dont she or charlize are especially good looking but everyone else seems to so what do I know? Lol

B. Profane said...

"But the real answer to your question is: lay a tall woman flat on her back on the side of your bed, put her legs up on your shoulders and you'll see my point."

Yeah, I did that with on leggy chick and ended up driving her kneecap so hard into her chest that I cracked a rib. All that leg gets in the way and makes la dolce vita more breakable. Short, sturdy women with huge racks are the way to go. I speak from experience.

Andy said...

Her snotty attitude and politics kill it for me.

Sofia should have won it.

figgy said...

As a short (okay, medium at 5'6") sturdy woman with a huge rack, I thank you, @B Profane ;-P

B. Profane said...

Yeah, the girl I broke fucking, figgy, was 5'7". Rugger girl, too. What you want is about 5'2" and 36DD. I don't get it either, why a woman that petite would ever let a shaved ape like me get his mitts on her, but they do. "Don't crush me...but do fuck my brains out."

Steampunk Jazz said...

So @ Jay, your requirements for female beauty are tall and a size 4. Nothing wrong with that , preference makes the world go round. Good luck finding your one night stand .

V said...

S. Joy, Jay also thinks women are chunky if they are a size 10. I can now surmise he likes models who snort coke for meals...whatever floats your boat.

boomom22 said...

@Count, I agree with you. Scarjo has a sexy allure, whereas Goop in no way shape or form is the most beautiful. That was some very expensive PR that got Goop that title.

lc said...

At least it wasn't the Goopster.

B. Profane said...

Whenever I hear the words "Paltrow" and "sexy" in immediate conjunction, I get the very un-PC urge to blurt out, "Only screaming queens would take their cock near that woman!"

lc said...

At least it wasn't the Goopster.

lc said...

At least it wasn't the Goopster.

Jay said...

Steampunk Jazz said...

So @ Jay, your requirements for female beauty are tall and a size 4. Nothing wrong with that , preference makes the world go round. Good luck finding your one night stand


Uh, I never said anything about any "requirements"

I said I didn't like short.

Plus, I'm married.

So you can shut up now.

nurysp said...

well i think shes gorgeous

Jay said...

V said...

S. Joy, Jay also thinks women are chunky if they are a size 10.


Since the average woman in America is barely 5'4, being size 10, she is/would be chunky.

Watching you fat yenta's on this site get all touchy about weight is hilarious.

Seven of Eleven said...

Everyone shut up! Jay has spoken!

Jay said...

Like always, why is it that women think they get a say about sexy?

I don't get it either.

Count Jerkula said...

I'm digging the 5'2 thoughts, Profane, but I don't care if the tits are an A or a DD, as long as the ass looks good.

B. Profane said...

Jay is obviously not an American heterosexual man, because if he was he'd know that fat yentas are pretty damn good in bed. Read Henry Miller if you don't believe me. And what straight guy would ever utter the term "fat yenta"? Sounds like something a closeted Park Slope podiatrist would say.

Kels said...

Speak for yourself. Ever hear of a spinner?

Kels said...

5'0 32E. Go ahead and stay with the tall girls Jay, I have no problems finding what I want.

lostathome said...

I love her voice and her body is amazing. Her face to me is great too, but there are prettier women. The perfect word for her is sultry.

If you're basing it on looks, then yes, she is more than deserving.

V said...

Jay, thanks. Fat Yenta...most apt description of me ever!

Redd said...

I think Scar Jo is damn sexy, hot and sultry and pouty sexy, short sexy. She brought sexy back and wrapped it up with a bow! Phoo to you Jay.

Tippie Toes said...

She has lost her appeal to me - its a lot lacking!

Dolphy said...

Bwahahahaha @7-11! I love Kindergarten Cop.

Cassandra Kelly said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Steampunk Jazz said...

@jay, You have stated your preferences in your postings. congrats on your marriage, its nice you don't cheat, though I do find your hostility amusing....

8=====D - RememberKermitGosnell said...

She is hot, not on my top 20, but still.
As long as she is taller than a smurf (1.55 metres or so), height shouldn't worry. She has boobs, rack and good body in general, pig nose (that's a con), stupidity in her head and sean penn's (and many more assholes) baby batter inside her (biggest con ever).
Therefore, I accept the verdict, but not completely agree.

Cassandra Kelly said...

@Count Jerkula, I appreciate your non discrimination against small tits haha.

Cindy said...

I don't understand why anyone is criticizing Jay or anyone else on this site for THEIR PREFERENCES.

Sheesh people, do you really think people should care what you find attractive?

I personally don't see the appeal of Scarjo, but she ain't trying to appeal to me. So there.

Count Jerkula said...

@Kels: 5'2, 32E???? Pics or it didn't happen.

@Cassandra: No problem, Babe. You probably don't run into much titty discrimination though. What guy could look down from your big blue eyes to your chest? I think it would be near impossible.

Cee Kay said...

That's some photoshopping! It doesn't look a thing like Scarlett. I don't happen to think she's particularly pretty either, if we're counting votes, and this photo isn't making her look any better.

Cassandra Kelly said...

@Count Jerkula, thank you for the kind words! ;)

Sherry said...

@Girl: Indeed Charlize is so crazy lovely it's almost distracting to watch her in any role save from "Monster" where she was uglied up. She was almost unbelievable in "Cider House Rules" with Toby because she was so pretty you had to believe she had other better options than him.

__-__=__ said...

But Henry Miller was after young men in Morocco. And his wife was in no way a fat yenta. So confused.

Sherry said...

Based on your picture SJoy you should have been in the running. I mean provided you're petite like Jay likes them (screw that you still qualify).

Sherry said...

Oops meant tall.

Sherry said...

I think ScarJo is physically attractive but other parts of her take that away. Whatever, the sexist vote isn't about her politics or bed mates just physical looks.

And not all women prefer just men but regardless we can still appreciate physical beauty regardess of size, sex, color etc.

Sherry said...

Sexiest damn autocorrect.

Della said...

At least it wasn't Miley!!!

Della said...

At least it wasn't Miley!!!

Della said...

At least it wasn't Miley!!!

B. Profane said...

"But Henry Miller was after young men in Morocco. And his wife was in no way a fat yenta. So confused."

Jesus Christ, you're thinking of Paul Bowles. Henry Miller never went to Morocco, and was famously hetero.

SubSpace said...

^^^TROPIC OF CANCER..Best opening paragraph in a book ever!

On subject: ScarJo is a sexy sensualist. I imagine she wouldn't incorporate too many boundaries in the boudoir. There's a time and a place for rules and boundaries.

Henriette said...

Well she's got the herp like all the other ones do too. I wonder if there is a list of celebs who don't have herpes. The STDs kind of kill a lot of the idea of sexy for me.

Henriette said...

Henry Miller was one of Anais Nin's lovers.

AB said...

The lack of any kind if intelligent life shining out if her eyes makes me think she is dumber than dirt. Completely vacant. She exudes sexy like about like a cardboard cutout. Now if you like that sort of thing then whatever... Go for it.

Redd said...

I think it has oft been said that Scar Jo is a Mensa member- that vacant look is called "acting" as when women give me that, "oh you're so fascinating" line.