Wednesday, December 26, 2007

This Is Why Pimpa Should Stop Managing Jessica


I'm sure that somewhere deep inside Jessica's contract for Blonde Ambition Ambition, is some type of provision which guarantees Jessica a theatrical release of her film. To me that is an unnecessary clause. If the film is good, it will get distribution and that language is just not needed. If the film is for crap, then just run away from it quickly. Instead of being happy with the fee for BlondePimpa Joe probably told the studios that he wanted his theatrical release. He probably told them that with Jessica being the darling of Texas and Cowboys fans all over the world that they would line up for hours to see his daughter up on the big screen. "Don't forget fellas Luke Wilson is also from Texas and so you know he must have someone who will see it also."

Luke's family is smart and he probably told them during filming to stay the hell away from the film. The only good thing for Luke was that during the filming he got to see Jessica changing clothes in the trailer sometimes and her screaming when John Mayer was around.

Anyway, instead of just walking away, Pimpa plays the ass. He gets his 8 Texas theatres, makes Jessica show up at a Cowboys game, and has her shop all around Dallas for a week before the release of the film. $1200 later, the ugly fat guy who went around buying tickets at all the theaters is out his cash, and even more humiliated. Instead of just letting the story fade to oblivion which it would have done several weeks ago, Joe has made it worse. Now, Jessica suffered the humiliation of no one going to see the film and thus being hammered about it for another week. She will be eligible for a Razzie so will be humiliated in the future. Plus she has Pimpa for a father and who only cares about how much money he makes and not about his daughter. If he cared, he could have shut this whole process down weeks ago. Instead he talked her into going to a Cowboys game, pimping herself around Dallas and selling photos of her there to the paps, and finally allowing her to have the worst opening ever for a film release.

When he got done watching her sleep Christmas Eve or Pete and Ashlee doing it and went in and wished Jessica "Merry Christmas," she should have kicked him in the balls and then fired him.

5 comments:

__-__=__ said...

This is very sad and I feel truly bad for her. I doubt she is strong enough to get away from Pimpa, much less that she realizes that would be best for her. I hope she can get through this.

califblondy said...

She needs to fade away for a while. I don't think anybody cares what she does.

Kory said...

Since dumb is no longer the new black, she has outstayed her welcome in the spotlight.

Alice.W said...

Well I wish her better luck in the new year. She gets an unbelievable amount of stick from the smut sites. I don't get it, she's harmless enough. It's not like she's killing herself with drugs or opening her legs and showing her bits every five minutes. Leave the girl alone. Good to see you showing her some compassion EL, especially this time of year.

Merlin D. Bear said...

I have only one question, that being: since the ticket sales for "Blond Ambition" are non-existent, does this mean (and I'm on my knees and praying) the new "C/W Grease" project has finally been killed?
(And I'm hoping they remembered to drive a stake through its heart, cut off the head, stuff the mouth with garlic and bury the remains at a crossroads)

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