You Don't Want To Be Brian Bonsall's Friend

Do you remember Brian Bonsall? He is one of the poster children for what happens to child actors. He played the youngest brother on Family Ties which of course is the show which made Michael J. Fox a star and gave us Courteney Cox, Justine Bateman and probably Jason Bateman after watching all the fun things his sister got to do on set. It also gave us that guy who played Skippy but that is for another day.

Anyway, Brain has been wanted for about a year by Boulder Colorado for failing to appear in a court hearing related to his 2007 beat down of his girlfriend. You would think they should have asked his friends considering he was with his former best friend at the time he got arrested Saturday night.

I say former because Brian was arrested for hitting his best friend in the face with a broken bar stool. Makes me think of Dionne Warwick and Elton John and the song that's what friends are for.

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George Hamilton could be the next host of The Price Is Right. Instead of the famous get your pet spayed or neutered line to close the show, George is considering.

1. "Get a spray tan. Much better than the cream."
2. "If you change wives often enough, you too can have a career in showbiz."
3. "If you come on down, just know that you're going to get some tongue."
4. "Buy Love At First Bite or Zorro:The Gay Blade on Amazon.com."
5. "I'll do anything if the price is right. See ya next time."

Brian Bonsall arrested. You know the little kid from Family Ties. No, not Skippy. The little kid with the blond hair. Not the girl with blond hair. The boy with blond hair. I know you weren't watching anymore but I swear he was on it.

Owen Wilson is going to break Kate Hudson's heart.

"Hi. I am Howie Day. What, you don't know who I am? Well my publicist is sending out a release that says I am Britney's mystery tennis guy. I know everyone thought I was gay, but really, I do have the hots for Britney. No one noticed I was in rehab. My plan to be photographed with Britney worked out great. Why do you think I took her out there for 8 minutes? It's obvious I don't know how to play, but knew it was a good place for the paps to see us. The problem was no one knew who I was. I was going to wear a sign on the back of my clothes, but it fell off on the way to the courts. Please buy my new album when I get out of here."

Jennifer Aniston went on a double date with the Arquettes. Cute. I really just don't have much enthusiasm for this story. Honestly, I don't have much enthusiasm for any of the people who were on Friends. Here are the headlines I forsee on People over the next year which involve any of the cast of Friends.

1. Jennifer's new love
2. Jennifer and _______ speak to People.
3. Courtney and David speak about their marriage crisis.
4. David or Courtney's heartbreak. (whichever publicist is better)
5. David or Courtney's new love.
6. David or Courtney and ________speak to People.
7. Whatever happened to Ross? David Schwimmer talks about his new life as a nobody.
8. Matthew Perry's weight skyrockets.
9. Matthew Perry speaks about his new diet, his new love, and his new found respect for life.
10. Lisa Kudrow tells People why she keeps turning down roles in hit television shows.
11. Matt LeBlanc's life or death drama. His fourth cousin, once removed in a battle for her life.