Clay Aiken Wins Democratic Primary - Probably

Former American Idol runner-up Clay Aiken is running for Congress in North Carolina. Yesterday people cast their ballots and Clay Aiken received 400 more votes than the closest person running against him. Out of 28,000 votes cast, Clay received about 40% while another person received 39% and the third place finisher about 20%. Although the race has not been called, chances are Clay is going to win this. First, he has a wide enough margin to be outside the automatic recount. Second, he is above the 40% threshold which means there will not be a runoff. Clay will probably lose in the election in November, but hey, that sing-a-long he will have at his party will probably be pretty good.

Clay Aiken Is Running For Congress

Apparently Clay Aiken has decided this whole singing thing is just not working out the way he hoped. Clay is set to announce that he is running for Congress in his home state of North Carolina. He would run as a Democrat and would face several other challengers in the Democratic primary scheduled for May 6th. That means he has five months to convince the people in his district that he is the right person for the job. Clay plans on singing his speeches and the only question he will debate is whether he and Ruben Studdard are the best 1-2 combination in American Idol history. According to The Washington Blade, Clay has been meeting with campaign type people and doing what is necessary to make sure he doesn't have to spend any of his own money to win the primary and then general election.

Want Acting Advice? Call Clay Aiken

I just realized this is my second post involving some byproduct of American Idol. I guess that means Carrie Underwood is safe for today, and I wouldn't think Sanjaya would be showing up in Random Photos. Anyway, on America's Next Top Model tonight, Clay Aiken is a guest. Tyra Banks invited him on for this season's acting challenge. Apparently once a year the hopeful models have to show they are as good, if not better than Cindy Crawford in Fair Game.

So, for this year, Tyra decided that Clay Aiken would be the best choice to perform a scene with the models and to judge those scenes later. Well, sure, because when I think of future Academy Award winners, the name that pops into my head is Clay Aiken. He must be at the top of every list when it comes to getting scripts. You know he was offered the roll of Wolverine and turned it down? I know, he decided Spamalot would be much better for his career, and so Hugh Jackman got it.

"Every year [the models] do an acting challenge, and since I had been in Spamalot and was doing the Broadway thing, Tyra called and wanted me to be a part of it. I did a scene with some of the girls and then later on tried to help judge that scene."

Does Tyra really have that few friends that the person she called for an acting challenge and to judge it was Clay Aiken? Doesn't she have anyone come on her talk show who can act or is on there plugging a movie who would give Tyra a day to film the appearance? She is on national television every day. She has tons of money. She could pay an actor to come on and make an appearance. Maybe it is because the acting done by the models is probably of Kathy Ireland in Necessary Roughness caliber, and so what Tyra does is bring in someone who is equally as bad. If the models were to perform a scene with say, anyone with actual acting talent, then it would make all the models look foolish. OK, well welcome to ANTM Clay.

Random Photos Part One - With Reader Photos

I figure if you have about 200 hours of programming on television each week that maybe you should get the top spot. Sure, Dick Wolf probably has a billion dollars but this is the top of random photos so that is priceless. OK, not really, but maybe his assistant reads the site.

It's Adrien Brody so that should be enough, but I think he's wearing velvet. Automatically gets you in now.

Etta James should have probably got the top spot, but unfortunately she chose to stand next to Beyonce.

All of you loved Baz Luhrman so much that I put him in again. This time with Valentino.

When I first saw this photo of Blake Lively I missed the fact she was wearing the belt. At first I thought she had given up Gossip Girl and decided she was going to star in a remake of VIP.

In my opinion, it is still too soon for the comeback. A record and tour and promotion seems to be a bit much right now in her recovery.

The new dad certainly can smirk huh? Why I ought to...

The only time I feel healthy is when I go to Jamba Juice. Glad David Beckham and I have something in common. Of course the drink I get there has about 5,000 calories, but it has fruit in it somewhere so I feel good about it.

Shape does their monthly tribute to airbrushing. This time with Debra Messing. I'm not even sure her husband would recognize her in this photo.

Add to my drinking list, one night of bombed to the gills drunkeness with Fran and Rosie.

Hugh Jackman. Sorry about Nicole.

How about Hugh with his wife instead?

Harvey Keitel on the set of Life On Mars.

Michael Imperioli also on the set.

Wait. I know, I know. It actually looks as if Jessica Alba is trying to act.

Didn't even recognize Jane Fonda.

I prefer to actually lift the seat up, but have been known to forget so I can empathize with Joey Fatone.

Glad to see Kelsey Grammer doing better.

Lordi - New York

Miley's not pregnant right?

Naomi Watts is though and I really like this photo.

Olivia Newton John at the Australia premiere in New York. Makes sense.

First time appearance for Paul Blackthorne. I think. Maybe not. Damn there are too many actors. I can't remember.

"Great, now I have something that matches my blue balls after being with Camilla so long."

"Ummm. I'm assuming you all are in uniform right?"

Been awhile since I had Padma Lakshmi in the photos.

Reader Photo #1

Reader Photo #2

Drink away Rachael Ray. Drink away. I wonder how many it takes to get her through a public event.

Not quite as many as if she had to stand next to Stephen Baldwin all night. You know what though? Let me say this. When he and Corbin Bernsen were on Celebrity Mole together, it was funny as hell.

The Dirty Awards in Atlanta. Wow, who would have thunk something like this would have happened? It's an awards show. It's a piece of metal. Who gives a crap if you get one or not. Although, I think it would be nice if at The Golden Globes some year people got pepper sprayed. I guarantee more people would watch the show from then on.

Ricky Is Icky

I was going to start off this little masterpiece with a Cincinnati Bengals reference, but, figured it would be lost in the shuffle. (See, if you get it, you got that last part) Anyway, the NY Daily News is reporting that Ricky Martin has been trying to peddle his baby photos, because hey, he has shopping to do and nannies to hire. What? You thought Ricky was sitting at home changing diapers and cooing La Vida Loca to them? Please. I have a feeling they are going to be his very own Menudo from the time they can sing.

Anyway, as Ricky peddles his kids for cash, it seems as if none of the magazine editors are biting. "We aren't jumping like we usually do," one editor said. "We don't think he is going to tell the back story, so the whole thing just seems kind of icky."

And of course the back story would be why a self professed 100% heterosexual man who could have any woman in the world he wanted would instead choose to pleasure himself into a cup while watching the Mr. Universe competition and inserting said results into a surrogate who cannot be found. Mark my words Ricky. You think she won't be found, but she will be. I don't know what she will contribute to the story except to say that she got paid and impregnated and that she never saw Ricky's peen.

I guess I don't understand why someone like Ricky Martin who is not much of a sex symbol any more, cannot just come out. Be proud and show that parents of any sexuality should be free to have a surrogate and exploit their children for cash. Instead he has chosen to take the route of Michael Jackson and Clay Aiken.

See, now that could be a reality show. Michael, Ricky and Clay all raising their kids while trying to score chicks. It would follow the zany adventures of our three bachelors as they look for love and marriage with that special lady. Season after season would air, yet our available bachelors would just not quite seem to be able find the lady of their dreams. Oh sure, they tried, and in Season 3, one of them actually kissed one of his dates. Sure, it was an accident as he slipped, but America gasped anyway and thought for sure this was it. Alas, it was not to be, and our unlucky bachelor sashayed his way home to "everyone in the same bed night."

Talk About Staged

Clay Aiken became a dad today. Of course by some weird f**king coincidence, the kid was born on 8/8/8 at 8:08 a.m.

Talk about wanting some attention. Not that having Clay Aiken be your dad won't give you some attention in the future. As your face is being pounded into a sandbox for about the 40th time that morning, any 8 year old kid is going to know that having Clay Aiken as your dad will be something unique and different.

The kid's name is Parker Foster Aiken, which were either a brand of sunglasses in the 70's or what you got when you crossed Parker Stevenson with Kirstie Alley back in the 80's.

The boy weighed in at 6 pounds 2 ounces and measured 19 inches long so you know Clay is already jealous. Oh, that is the length of the entire boy. My bad.

Did He Throw It Across The Room?

In a miracle of science that would make even Tom Cruise proud, Clay Aiken has impregnated someone. No, he isn't the father of the man having a baby, but rather the woman he lives with when he in LA. Jaymes Foster is 50 years old and has no kids, so she decided she wanted to have little Clay Aiken's running around and he knocked her up.

No, not by actually having sex. That would be so dirty. No, instead he picked up some gay porn and donated some sperm manually. And when I say manually, well I was going to make a joke about more men, but I think everyone has pretty much got the point. And when I say point, I think, ahh, never mind.

I'm happy for the woman who just happens to be David Foster's sister, but I'm thinking she could have picked almost anyone on the planet who would have been a better choice than Clay. Clay wants to be a hands on parent. See, that's why she could have picked almost anyone else in the world and done better.

Random Photos Part One

Due to the woeful program known as Blogger, the photos are out of order today and I am not even sure that all of them somehow ended up here, so forgive me if the snarkiness doesn't have the usual flow. OK, well it never really has flow, but in my mind it is like butter.

Ashton Kutcher returns to his modeling roots. All he needs now is to replace that bomber jacket with something from Members Only and he is set. This is from a premiere in London tonight and I didn't see any photos of Demi Moore. Of course they might not all be uploaded yet, but it would be interesting if she let him off his leash alone to a foreign country.
Adrian Grenier is in Hawaii filming the new season of Entourage. Can't come soon enough.
Why am I guessing that Bette Midler didn't have anything to do with that tree getting put in the ground? They didn't even give her a shovel with dirt on it.
There is supposed to be a photo of Bette Midler below this writing where she is wearing a dress, and out at the opera. It was going to play off the contrast between day and night and probably have some reference to Charlie perfume. However, on Blogger all I see is a big X. Should the photo pop up later, I didn't want you to be confused if there was no writing.

OK. New reality game for you. You can save one of the following two people from dying in a horrific accident of your choosing. "Who You Gonna Save?" Its the game that really shows celebrities who cares and how far they have fallen.

I like when Colin Firth doesn't always come across as the nice guy he is. Gives him a bit of Eddie Izzard without the lace.

Honestly, who would have been a better Trixie? On a side note, I'm already tired of the Speed Racer publicity machine and it is only going to get much worse.

Christopher Meloni for you ladies, and gentleman of a certain persuasion. And by persuasion I mean someone who doesn't care that his two front teeth don't match the rest of his teeth.

Diane Kruger and Joshua Jackson at the opera. Love that Tom Cruise, Napoleon pose Joshua is sporting there.

Do you think David Gest actually ever had sex with Liza Minelli. I mean just for kicks.

Hilary Duff is playing the game that two little lattes are much better than one huge giant latte.

Eva Mendes at the opera. Looks a little shell shocked. It's ok. Let me tell you what happens. People fall in love in the first 5 minutes. They then suffer through joy and sorrow for an hour and then at the end someone dies.
Jimmy Choo just in case no one has ever seen him.

OK. Here's the deal. Everyone knows I think Heather and Caroline are a great couple. However, lesbians must follow the same rule as everyone else on the red carpet. Keep your distance. No sex, or excessive showboating of your relationship. Go to the bathroom and have sex like normal people. Or Russell Brand.
I honestly don't even remember what I was going to say about Lake Bell. She looks good though. Pained, but good.

Kate McGarrigle and Rufus Wainwright.
If Matthew Broderick had been alone I would have put him on top tonight. Yes, he's wearing the same shoes he has worn for the past month, but he took off the tie and looks 15 years younger. Ties are good, just not the ones he was wearing. Mr. Roper should not be your fashion role model.

Matthew Fox. Again with the Speed Racer. Get used to seeing him over and over and over again.

How can Matthew Modine look so damn good? Seriously.

Now, let me give Stefano Pilati a few words of advice. Try and sleep in a separate bedroom. If not, do not make Naomi angry before falling asleep.

I'm sure Natalie Imbruglia is trying to demonstrate something, but I can't quite figure it out. Airplane announcements? Intricate version of wax on wax off?

The only thing I am looking forward to more than Harold and Kumar Part 2 is ex-wife #3 finally getting married. No more alimony. I'm hoping this will allow me to move to sunlight within the next year.

By far the best photo of Robert Downey Jr during his 3 week press run.

Rebecca Gayheart looks sad. But at least she's eating again. You think there is any correlation?

Rebecca Loos does kind of look like the cheerleader Becks kept staring at.

Velile Tshabalala and David Tennant filming the Dr. Who Christmas special. Yes, it is April.