That Makes No Sense

How many of you have helped with some kind of holiday decorations. I know many of you might not celebrate Christmas but surely you have helped out with some Halloween decorations or taking some kind of rarely used box down from a shelf, the garage or the attic. Everyone has.

See if this sounds familiar. There are two of you. The idiot, in this couple can generally be found at the top of a ladder if you are lucky. If they are not lucky they are swaying precariously on a bar stool while standing on their tip toes trying to reach the box that was shoved six feet above their head about a year prior. The idiot then attempts to lift a 30 pound box with the tips of their fingers while the person down below looks serious, but is in fact laughing their ass off. At this point, the idiot is either successful, falls over or drops the box on the unsuspecting person below.

Well, Jamie Hince and Kate Moss would have us to believe that the black eye, and cuts and bruises they acquired were as a result of Jamie being on a ladder, then somehow dropping the box on Kate Moss and at the same time finding a way to get under the box so it also landed on top of him as well. Umm. This is like watching the Seinfeld re-enactment of the JFK shooting. I don't think its possible, but I have to admit that this is probably the most inventive story I have heard in a long time. Just for that, I am going to give them the first holiday b.s. pass. I don't believe your story, but it is damn good so from now on I will treat it as gospel. To read their explanation click here.

Holiday Texting The Ex--Not A Good Idea

The only good thing about holiday texts from an ex is that they are predictable. For the most part you know they are coming, especially if the ex is a repeat offender. Just simply turn off the cell phone during the offending holiday and you should be good to go until you can have a quiet moment or two to do some deleting.

Drunk texts are never predictable and so if an ex gets drunk and texts you at 3am while you are sleeping, the first you may know of it is when your current significant other is beating the crap out of you at 3:05am asking you who the hell is so and so.

Kate Moss had this same little problem with Pete Doherty and her current boyfriend Jamie Hince. In Kate's defense who would ever think Pete capable of using a phone, reading, writing, texting or even being able to stand still long enough to text.

Right at the stroke of midnight, Pete sent Kate a text wishing her a Happy New Year and asking if she could score him some coke. OK, maybe just wishing her a Happy New Year. Well, knowing Pete, it might have been both. Jamie was pissed. If this guy is jealous over Pete Doherty than he is really going to go ballistic when Kate starts spending time with some of those old guys who follow her around and buy her presents for no reason. Seriously guys. Spend the money on a model who is hot, and not some washed up, has been model.

Jamie and Kate didn't speak to each other for two hours. Then they kissed and made up. More likely they both needed a fix and no argument is going to come between two junkies and their next fix. Hell if Jamie would buy Kate a trip to Colombia she would probably marry him.

Kate Moss Has Another Cheater

Years and of drugs and arrest didn't stop Kate Moss from forgiving Pete Doherty repeatedly. However, once she discovered him cheating for the 16th time, he was gone. Hell, there's only so much a fellow drug abuser can handle. Well, Kate's current boyfriend now has strike one. Jamie Hince was spotted groping and making out with some woman named Louisa at the Punk Nightclub in Soho.

Immediately after being informed of the fact Jamie cheated on her, Kate called Jamie and told him that he will only be forgiven 15 more times and then he has got to go. This of course presumes that Kate is coherent enough to be able to count to 16 anymore. With the amount of drugs she is allegedly using again on a daily basis, it could be fingers and toes time.

Kate Moss Pops The Question

According to friends of Kate Moss, she asked her boyfriend of less than a month, Jamie Hince of The Kills to marry her. Also according to pals Jamie said yes. Ummm. Let me tell you why he said yes.

Allegedly Kate did the asking during the middle of a 12 straight hour sex session. 12 hours? I can't even watch porn for 12 minutes, and the last time I lasted longer than 12 seconds was because I got distracted by some food. I do know that most guys are not going to walk away from someone who wants to have sex with them for 12 straight hours.

So Kate is doing her thing and asks Jamie if he wants to marry her. What is he supposed to say? No? As soon as he says no, she stops doing what she had been doing and the next thing you know she's pissed he's back pedaling and she's running back to Crack Boy. Of course he is going to say yes, and he will keep saying yes until it turns into some actual commitment type thing he can't escape.

There doesn't seem to be much chance of that as Kate's friends don't think it actually means they will get married but just Kate's way of showing that she's serious about Jamie and that he can start mooching off her regularly now.