I Hate Paris Hilton

There I said it. There was always that tiny, minuscule chance that I would find something redeemable about her, but I can't. And don't forget, this is not just something from afar. I have met her and seen her in action, and I have come to the conclusion that I absolutely can't stand anything about her. I wish she gave to charity or something like that. That way I could hold out hope that someday she would turn into a human being, but even that isn't going to happen. Do any of you even remember that fake trip to Africa she was going to do after she got out of jail? Well, where is that trip? The only reason she hasn't gone is because no one is willing to pay her to go. Sienna Miller spent much of the past few weeks in the Congo doing charity work, and she wasn't even paid. The Congo. I have a new found respect for Sienna Miller. Not so for Paris.
With all of the lies and bad behavior and just downright dumbing down the people of Earth, the reason I finally snapped is because she threw a party. Yep. On Monday night, Paris decided to have a party at her house. It didn't matter that all of her neighbors have real jobs and have to get up in the morning. It didn't matter that all of her old neighbors had kicked her out of her old house because of her lack of respect. Nope. This was all about Paris and she wanted to party on a Monday night. So, she invited over 40 friends, maybe 50 and they partied until 4am on Tuesday. The only reason it finally broke up at 4am was that neighbors had pleaded with her to be quiet and she wouldn't be. So, the neighbors called the cops and they broke up the party. To show how happy Paris was that her neighbors called the cops, the neighbors all woke up to find their cars had been vandalized. Cars had been egged and keyed all along the block. One of the cars was valued at $1.4M. TMZ also says there were at least two Bentley's and two Maserati's. The cops interviewed Paris but don't consider her a suspect. Of course not. But I would like to know where the eggs came from. I doubt her moron friends keep them in their cars and also doubt they want shopping for them at 4am. My guess is they came from Paris' house and she knew what was going on.

She didn't care. The only thing she cares about is making sure she can find a mirror every ten seconds. There is no one on this earth I would more like to see broke and homeless than Paris. Unfortunately no matter how much I wish for it to happen, and no matter how much money I drop into a wishing well, it won't happen. There is just too much family money. So, no matter what until I die, I will be forced to know that Paris is out there thinking she is better than everyone, spoiled beyond belief and still only thinking about herself.

Forget About The Money, The Simple Life Is Over

The real story is not that Paris got cut out of the will of her grandfather because I think that story misses the point of the fact that she already has money in trust. In addition, what most people miss when they read the story is that NO grandchildren are being given money in a will which is probably because there is no damn will in the first place. So as much as her grandfather might be pissed at her, she's still going to get what every other grandchild gets through a trust. She and the grandchildren will not be getting any extra from the sale of Hilton Hotels and I think any accountant or tax expert would have been shocked if they had.

The real story today is that E! came to their senses and cancelled The Simple Life. This means that Nicole can go back to being famous for nothing except being Lionel's daughter and Paris will be forced to actually get film and television work.

Someone has actually hired Paris besides the Ford Motor Company. Her latest role is singing in a musical thriller written by Saw director Darren Lynn Bousman who said he auditioned 30 actresses before he saw Paris and that she just "owned" the part and was the best singer he saw. Uh huh. The fact that she spent most of her audition on her knees had nothing to do with it.

If she's such a great singer how come everyone at Guy's walked out of the club last week when Paris kept stealing the microphone and forcing everyone to listen to her butcher song after song at Karaoke night.

The cancellation of The Simple Life is taking away her base, her comfort zone. Now, she will be forced to shill, f**k, suck and audition just like everyone else and slowly as her extra wide hips and aging face destroy whatever possible beauty she ever had, her lack of talent will be exposed and she will be forced to marry Brittany Murphy's husband when they get divorced and be forced to stand by quietly as he uses up her money and her sister while Paris balloons to about 250 or so and finally fills out those hands and hips properly.

Paris Looks Hideous...Hooray Beer

It's not very often I devote and entire post to Paris, but imagine my joy, nay, my sheer adulation when I saw these photos of Paris from last night. It's like she took a nightgown and stuffed it into some really unflattering pants and decided to go out. I will let her decide if she just wants to be known as beer gut Paris or if she wants to start pregnancy rumors. That's her choice. I do know Nicky was with her last night and maybe Nicky is getting tired of Paris and told her she looked great. I'm just sorry Natalie Maines had to come along for the ride.

Paris Hilton Looks Like Crap Photo Of The Day With Bonus Photo

When I first saw this photo of Paris from Coachella I was going to post it with a comment such as when Paris sees a video camera she just automatically assumes its porn and opens her mouth because she knows it's time to perform. But, then I said to myself one photo with a brilliant caption doesn't necessarily make it so.
Until today.

Stoli Hotel Opening

I love Andy Dick. He's crazy, but I love him. His date is VERY brave.

Bai Ling now.

Bai Ling next month.Bijou Phillips has had some really good weeks, so I'll give her a break about this.

Devon Aoki got the good looks in the family.

"Yea. Paris is going to use all the rooms here, but at least I'll be first."

Get in Playboy, show up everywhere. Work that 15 minutes.

So, I know we are all tired of Paris Hilton. I am too. Here's the deal though. I think it's fine to post a photo of her if she looks really bad. I present to you the Paris Hilton looks like crap photo of the day. I pray to everything holy that she is just bloated here.