Monday, July 30, 2007

Forget About The Money, The Simple Life Is Over

The real story is not that Paris got cut out of the will of her grandfather because I think that story misses the point of the fact that she already has money in trust. In addition, what most people miss when they read the story is that NO grandchildren are being given money in a will which is probably because there is no damn will in the first place. So as much as her grandfather might be pissed at her, she's still going to get what every other grandchild gets through a trust. She and the grandchildren will not be getting any extra from the sale of Hilton Hotels and I think any accountant or tax expert would have been shocked if they had.

The real story today is that E! came to their senses and cancelled The Simple Life. This means that Nicole can go back to being famous for nothing except being Lionel's daughter and Paris will be forced to actually get film and television work.

Someone has actually hired Paris besides the Ford Motor Company. Her latest role is singing in a musical thriller written by Saw director Darren Lynn Bousman who said he auditioned 30 actresses before he saw Paris and that she just "owned" the part and was the best singer he saw. Uh huh. The fact that she spent most of her audition on her knees had nothing to do with it.

If she's such a great singer how come everyone at Guy's walked out of the club last week when Paris kept stealing the microphone and forcing everyone to listen to her butcher song after song at Karaoke night.

The cancellation of The Simple Life is taking away her base, her comfort zone. Now, she will be forced to shill, f**k, suck and audition just like everyone else and slowly as her extra wide hips and aging face destroy whatever possible beauty she ever had, her lack of talent will be exposed and she will be forced to marry Brittany Murphy's husband when they get divorced and be forced to stand by quietly as he uses up her money and her sister while Paris balloons to about 250 or so and finally fills out those hands and hips properly.


Tinsley Kennedy said...

Yup. It's a little biotch called KARMA.

Mother Campfire said...

Yay, snarky Ent is back! :)

mocha said...

whoa, loved the little bit at the end. getting out some pent up frustration?

however like the cockaroach that she is, she will survive. she will never fade away unfortunately.

RagDoll said...

Watch: in 10 years, she'll be sportin' a new fake pair and a too-tight facelift. And she'll be selling some crap on QVC.

Tracee said...

Helena, do you think she'll be shilling sperm in a jar?

"Ancient ho-secret, collected from skeevy men from all over the world it known to keep the face firm and moisturized. And if you're stuck on an island it's a great source of protein." Blech! Or maybe she'll do a line of "back massagers". Wha-la instant best seller.

Unknown said...

Oh, it is nice to fantasize about a 250lb washed up Paris but somehow I think she will continue to survive...

Moira Henry said...

seriously, i had to create a stupid ass account just to tell you that you need to chill out on her! you guys are all complaining about negative anon comments, but listen to the lot of you!

hey qvc has some good crap sometimes.


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