I'm A Little Confused

I read about the whole Cindy Crawford extortion thing last night and maybe I was already too drunk, but I am trying to understand this whole thing. Should we do this together? Maybe it will help if I talk it out.

1. Cindy Crawford and Rande Gerber have a child.
2. Cindy Crawford & Rande Gerber hired a nanny for the child.
3. The child, who was 7 at the time gets photographed by the nanny bound to a chair and gagged.
4. Cindy Crawford and Rande Gerber have no idea such a photograph exists.
5. Cindy Crawford & Rande Gerber forget they have a child.
6. When finally her parents thought to ask about her day several months after the fact, the child says they were playing cops and robbers.
7. The nanny is lonely at work and has a model come over and spend some adult time with her
8. The model at some point sees the photo and takes it.
9. He also takes a copy of a note the nanny wrote which is a "joke" kidnap note.
10. The nanny is fired for something unrelated.
11. The model meets with Rande Gerber and is paid $1000 for the photo and copy of the note.
12. At some point the model gets arrested and deported back to Germany.
13. From Germany he attempts to extort more money from Gerber and Crawford who notify the cops.

OK, so here are my questions. The guy was arrested for what? Extortion? I know he was deported on an immigration violation. Is Rande Gerber such an idiot that he thinks a photo made from a digital camera is the only one? And a copied note? Really? How is any of this extortion? Is the model going to sell the photos and say that Crawford and Gerber like to play bondage games with their kid? Really? There is waaaaaaaaay more to this than we are hearing right now.

Rande Gerber Accused Of Sexual Harassment - It Wasn't Cindy Crawford

It flew for two months under the radar, but finally someone noticed that Rande Gerber had been sued for sexual harassment back in March. According to court documents, the man who is married to Cindy Crawford apparently found she wasn't enough to satisfy his sexual urges. Two former employees who worked at his Moonstone Lounge in San Diego said they lost their jobs because they wouldn't have sex with the staff or with Rande. Uh oh.

But wait, it gets better. One of the women alleges that Gerber attempted to kiss her and reached under her dress.

I'm sure the past few months have been a lot of fun at the Gerber/Crawford house. This is also one of the rare times when it is appropriate for Cindy Crawford to say, "Don't you know who I am?" I mean if Cindy Crawford isn't enough for him, then what makes him think some random 20 year old would be.

As for his side of the story, Gerber's people said, "These allegations were previously investigated and shown to be baseless. This lawsuit has no merit." Well we will certainly find out, now won't we?

Random Photos Part One

Kirsten Dunst joins a long list of celebrities who think that LA is actually Alaska. She is wearing a parka and a scarf. On the day and time this photo was taken, the actual temperature in LA was about 80 degrees. Is it drugs? Is it because she is too damn skinny? Doe she think she is actually somewhere else?
If I were Rande Gerber I would stop staring at other women in the club and start looking at his wife Cindy Crawford. I would also start giving her $20's for as long as she kept dancing. She looks gorgeous, but the question I have is how do you dance on a couch in heels?
Holding a cell phone next to your ear without hands while doing any other activity is impressive. I can do it simply because I have so many rolls of fat around my neck that it stays in place nicely. Is that grey hair on Ben Affleck?
Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore obviously like a little role playing in their sex life. If he is the chicken I guess she is the rooster.
Lindsay Lohan doing a Harpers Bazaar shoot in LA
I need a cod piece for Christmas.
Or a ward. I would take a ward.


They do say dogs and their owners look alike. Vanessa Hudgens is definitely proving that.
Andre Gonzalo and Santino Rice were in LA yesterday for a Project Runway thing.
I changed my mind about what I want for Christmas. Well, no that's not true. I still want the cod piece, but Reese Witherspoon would be a close second.
The new Dolce and Gabbanna fragrance that Matthew McConaughey is hawking smells faintly of pot and sweat. I guess Camila Alves likes it.
Mischa Barton took a dollar back in change from the cabbie? Come on. Give it to the guy. He had to look at your face in the rearview mirror the whole drive. That has to be worth a buck to him.