Thanks Natalie

I'm way too lazy to look it up, but a few months ago I wrote a post about Wuthering Heights and how the UK was all in a tizzy because the producers were going to cast American actors. Well, they did cast Natalie Portman and she then proceeded to give them a list of demands which they met, and then after that she said she wasn't interested and backed out of the project.

Thanks a bunch Natalie. You basically have ruined it for everyone now. Instead of doing what you were supposed to be doing, you are probably back in New York hanging out with that tool of a boyfriend of yours who walks around with a c**k as his glasses. Yes, it's true, and odd that her boyfriend and another guy went sex toy shopping together. I don't know about the rest of you but when I go sex toy shopping I don't usually take along another guy.

Meanwhile because she told everyone she was going to do the part, Sienna Miller and Keira Knightley both have committed to other projects. Here is my advice to the producers. As I mentioned in my previous post there have been about 100 different Wuthering Heights projects. What I suggest is you go the Airplane! or Scary Movie route and just make it a spoof on all the other period pieces. Sure, no one will get your references, but throw in some nudity and some fart jokes and you will probably get more ticket sales than the way you are going now. I mean the only people who are going to see it are, well, honestly, no one. How did you get financing for this thing anyway?

Lindsay vs. Keira

Although I would prefer to see the fight between Lindsay Lohan and Keira Knightly settled between them in a pool full of pudding, it doesn't look like it is going to happen that way. Well, there is always my imagination. Apparently they are making the film Wuthering Heights because there is a great deal of demand for mid 19th century literature being turned into films, and they have pretty much beaten the crap and ringed any possible story out of any Jane Austen book or idea or thought she ever conceived. This of course compares to the 15 versions of Wuthering Heights that have been released since film was invented. Hell that is only like once every 6 or 7 years. How many times can you make the same film? Come on. Have some imagination. Does a producer go in and pitch Wuthering Heights and say, "Its been 5 years. Time for another one. It's only going to cost you $40-50M." At least with the Jane Austen books they used their imagination and came up with different versions of her books.

Anyway, Lindsay and Keira are the two finalists for the role of Catherine Earnshaw. The director of the film is John Maybury who cast Lindsay in the Dylan Thomas biopic The Edge Of Love, but Lindsay dropped out. It seems as if he is willing to give her a second chance. This is something that Lindsay could really use. A real movie that will be seen by everyone and if done well will receive lots of nominations. Throw on a corset and speak in an accent from a different century and the awards just come rolling in.

The problem is that the British public is firmly against Lindsay starring in the film. A recent poll said that only British actresses should portray the part. When asked why this was the case, Maybury told the Daily Mail, "It can be slightly annoying having American actresses in British parts. They may be able to do brilliant British accents but that can be off putting if their accent is too perfect."

Well then it seems to me that your job as a director would be to make it so her accent isn't perfect. The producers aren't paying you just to sit around and bark at people. I think the idea of a director is to direct the actors, and it seems to me that direction would include whether or not an accent is good or not as well as directing your staff that you only want non-fat soy in your latte.