Johnny Depp Saved Courtney Love's Life

If you are tired of Courtney Love and her antics you can blame Johnny Depp. Courtney gave an interview this month to In Style UK which obviously had a lot of empty pages to fill. In the interview Love describes how she once overdosed and had her heart stop only to be revived by Johnny Depp. She doesn't explain what she overdosed on or how Johnny Depp happened to be there. What is clear though is she never did have sex with him so your fantasies are still safe.

"Nobody has ever loaned me money. I mean, I was going to die on a few occasions. Johnny Depp gave me CPR on one. That's as close as I ever got. I was watching that movie where he plays Dillinger, and I was like 'Mother f***er, I never had myself any JD except CPR.'"

I assume JD stands for Johnny Depp because I think we can all agree on the fact that Courtney has probably spent a good deal of time drinking Jack Daniels, or JD for those of you who are too drunk to pronounce the entire name.

Johnny Depp Has An 8 Foot Wingspan

I know that you love Johnny Depp and you know that I know you love Johnny Depp, and it is by far the only reason I am posting this. According to News Of The World, Johnny Depp singlehandedly saved the live of six extras on the set of his new film.

A stunt driver lost control of a 1933 Ford after hitting a patch of ice while filming Michael Mann's Public Enemies. Depp jumped into the vehicle's path when he spotted it skidding towards the extras, who were standing with their backs turned.

A witness told the News of the World: "Johnny slammed into the group with arms outspread, shoving them all back."

At that point, the witness (publicist) had nothing more to say. However, if the witness had gone on, or been "interviewed" by People Magazine, I think this is how it would have gone.

There are not many men on earth, let alone a 44 year old actor who could physically do that. I'm guessing that as he approached the group of six, his wingspan increased from its usual six feet to about 8 or 9. In the background, theme music from the Six Million Dollar Man began playing. Amazingly everything turned to slow motion, and Johnny flew through the air, placing his arms around the entire group, while at the same time, lighting a cigarette and bursting into a song from Sweeney Todd.

Immediately after he saved the group of six, Johnny's co-stars Christian Bale and Billy Crudup broke down in tears and claimed they were not men enough to do what Johnny had done.

Johnny checked on the group and then called his long time love Vanessa Paradis because he calls her every hour on the hour and because of the adventure had missed their call by 30 seconds. He also checked on their child, and told Vanessa that he would be late getting home because he was going to give blood and then go stand on a street corner until he sold 100 of her albums.

Johnny Depp Does A Good Thing

I would probably relate this story even if it was not Johnny Depp, but because it is, then it allows all of you to go awwww, and to make your significant others wish that Johnny Depp were dead, or at least not so damn nice.

I have had a few photos of Johnny Depp from his Wisconsin film set where he has been shooting Public Enemies. Apparently at some point during the filming this 12 year old kid came up to Johnny and asked him for the hat he was wearing in the film. Johnny said yes, but only after filming.

Well after filming, Johnny was gone, but the kid's parents decided to take matters into their own hands so started nagging Johnny's sister who is also his agent and informed her of the promise Johnny made. The kid has four siblings so the parents nagged and nagged until they got something for each of the kids from Johnny's films. The 12 year old who is called Jack Taylor by his parents, but you know he is a JT to his friends got the hat, a signed note from Johnny and a bunch of stuff from Willy Wonka that the studio had laying around.

Look, I am all for celebrities keeping their promises, but if you read this article it sounds to me like these parents were going to chew Johnny a new one if he didn't follow through. They were going to the press and going to say bad things about him. They barely say anything nice about him even though he came through for all of the kids.

The parents seem to me to be the kind that are never satisfied about anything, and always complaining. Dad probably dislikes mom and vice versa. They have so many kids because it allows them a bigger buffer between the pair so they don't actually have to interact on any kind of intimacy level. The mom realizes this and so takes out her frustration on customer service agents and the kid who opens the door for you at Olive Garden. Meanwhile dad spends a lot of time in his garden and with his porn collection which is locked down in the basement with his hunting rifles where he whispers over and over to himself about one day his wife is going to push him too far.

Johnny Depp But No One Else

Yes, yes, I know all of you love Johnny Depp and would like nothing more than to keep him prisoner in your house until, well forever. Well, you may not be able to have Johnny because he is going to be picking up a guaranteed $64M for filming the next installment of Pirates. That eclipses Tom Hanks who had the previous record of $58M. Chump change. The amount for Depp does not include any other points he gets from the success of the film. While I certainly cannot argue that he deserves the money, there are some things worth noting.

Because he is getting paid so much money, there will be no Orlando Bloom and no Keira Knightley in the film. The studio simply can't afford to pay them and pay Johnny Depp as well. See, now if I'm Johnny's agent I say f**k it, he deserves the money. If I'm Johnny though, I'm wondering if the movie tanks because there is no one in it but me for the most part, will I ever get this kind of money again? What Johnny should do is reduce that salary by about $10-15M and get the other two back in the film as well.

Sequels can be great. When sequels suck is when the entire cast has disappeared except for one or two people. It just isn't the same. There is not the same interaction or chemistry. Hello? Smokey And The Bandit 3. Hello? Apollo 14 - Dogs In Space. Johnny Depp is the key behind the films, but maybe a lot of that has to do with who he is playing off in his scenes. If the film just has him and a monkey is everyone going to enjoy that?

US Weekly Takes Johnny Depp's Side

If you are a Johnny Depp fan and want to feel like Vanessa Paradis is evil and horrible for kicking Johnny Depp out in the street then US Weekly is your kind of place to go. They have pretty much taken sides and say that Vanessa treated Johnny like crap and that she was jealous of his success and that when he wasn't working she complained and that basically Johnny's entire life was Vanessa telling him how much he did everything wrong. This of course led to renewed drinking which is never a good thing with Johnny. US Weekly kind of glossed over the drinking, but Johnny and heavy drinking leads to some serious trashing of rooms and awful fights. It's like the Kate Moss years all over again. Yeah, you forgot they dated for ever. I wonder if she got more famous as a waif thin model or the waif thin model that was dating Johnny Depp forever. So, according to US, nothing is wrong with Johnny. He should be sainted for putting up with Vanessa for so long. Forget any of the cheating or anything like that. Johnny would only do those things because Vanessa was horrible to him which led him to drink and cheat.

Nic Cage Invented The Internet

Well he hasn't made that claim yet, but give him another few weeks and he will. In an interview with Heart FM whatever the hell that is, Nicolas Cage says that he is the person who discovered Johnny Depp and that he was the one who made it all possible. That's right. If it wasn't for Nicolas Cage, Johnny Depp would still be a nobody, undiscovered by the world. It was only through the grace of God and the shrewd eye of Nicolas Cage that the world was introduced to Johnny Depp.

"I met Johnny many years ago - he was a guitar player and had come to Los Angeles from Florida.

"We had a mutual friend and we were just playing Monopoly one day. I told him he ought to try acting so I introduced him to my agent and the next day he got his first audition and got the part.
He added: "Please don't ask me who won the game of Monopoly, though, I can't remember... it was a long time ago!"

Haha. Damn he is an ass. And how did you get your start in acting exactly Mr. Cage? Hmmm. Let me think about that. Ahhh. That's right. You started off in the business as Nicolas Coppola. Made sure everyone knew that until you got a few parts under your belt, and then became Nicolas Cage. That way we would all think you made it on your own.

Has anyone ever heard Johnny Depp relate that story?

Johnny Depp & Vanessa Paradis Headed For A Split

For those of you who have always had a Jack Sparrow fantasy, but never thought you would get to hear Johnny Depp saying "Ahoy" while plundering you with his doubloon would happen, you may have your chance yet. According to Radar, the relationship between Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis is in trouble and headed for a split very quickly. The couple, who have never married do spend a lot of time apart as it is and I think the friction about whose career should have more importance would probably play a part in some tension. Vanessa has always wanted to have her own career and not be known simply as Johnny Depp's girlfriend.

Johnny Depp As The Wizard Of Oz

Robert Downey Jr. has been dropping out of things right and left lately, and the latest victim is a prequel to The Wizard Of Oz. Apparently Disney's next choice is Johnny Depp. Can I see Johnny Depp as the Wizard? Yep, but I wonder if it will be like another version of Willie Wonka. It would probably have that same kind of feel. Oh, and also Alice In Wonderland. I was kind of looking forward to Robert Downey Jr playing the role because I think and this is just my opinion, that the Wizard is really not that nice of a guy and Robert Downey Jr would have that kind of attitude that maybe Johnny does not have. When Johnny plays these characters they all end up kind of looking the same. It is not that Depp is not a great actor because he is fabulous and has lots of range, it just seems like he has been doing a lot of this type of role lately. What he needs to do is try and find some small indie project and just do something totally different from what he has in the past five years.