Monday, April 07, 2008

Johnny Depp Has An 8 Foot Wingspan


I know that you love Johnny Depp and you know that I know you love Johnny Depp, and it is by far the only reason I am posting this. According to News Of The World, Johnny Depp singlehandedly saved the live of six extras on the set of his new film.

A stunt driver lost control of a 1933 Ford after hitting a patch of ice while filming Michael Mann's Public Enemies. Depp jumped into the vehicle's path when he spotted it skidding towards the extras, who were standing with their backs turned.

A witness told the News of the World: "Johnny slammed into the group with arms outspread, shoving them all back."

At that point, the witness (publicist) had nothing more to say. However, if the witness had gone on, or been "interviewed" by People Magazine, I think this is how it would have gone.

There are not many men on earth, let alone a 44 year old actor who could physically do that. I'm guessing that as he approached the group of six, his wingspan increased from its usual six feet to about 8 or 9. In the background, theme music from the Six Million Dollar Man began playing. Amazingly everything turned to slow motion, and Johnny flew through the air, placing his arms around the entire group, while at the same time, lighting a cigarette and bursting into a song from Sweeney Todd.

Immediately after he saved the group of six, Johnny's co-stars Christian Bale and Billy Crudup broke down in tears and claimed they were not men enough to do what Johnny had done.

Johnny checked on the group and then called his long time love Vanessa Paradis because he calls her every hour on the hour and because of the adventure had missed their call by 30 seconds. He also checked on their child, and told Vanessa that he would be late getting home because he was going to give blood and then go stand on a street corner until he sold 100 of her albums.

13 comments:

kris said...

hahahahahahah....love this...

kris said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Stigma Mom said...

Wow, good snark for Monday morning ENT. I do love Johnny, but you really hit the mark with the "article". Thanks for the laugh!

Majik said...

I knew Johnny Depp was superhuman...I JUST KNEW IT!!! ;o)

Sydney in Wonderland said...

I hope he checked on both of their children. Or has he already established a telepathic connection with the older one?

Anonymous said...

a) love the tag ent: It's Really Deep In Here

b) it read like one of those Tom Cruise saves motorists things that get published once or twice a year.

brendalove@gmail.com said...

And at the end of the day, he brought home a killer paycheck too.

All I want is just a little bit of his sperm.....

canadachick said...

and he looked DAMN fine doing it -as always......LOVE HIM

Jokerista said...

Ent, I think this is good enough to be a bollywood flick :)

Jesse D said...

DITTO, brendalove, but only if he, personally, delivers it... ;P

Bxrlvr said...

Oh, so cynical ... Ent, are you sure you don't secretly work for Kneepads???

bionic bunny! said...

AHA! johnny depp is the six million dollar man, and i am the bionic bunny-- there IS a god!!

heh-heh-heh.

Soleil King said...

First he helps a kid in coma.
Now he saves men.
What's next?
Whatever...Johnny's the man. You've gotta love him...

Advertisement

Popular Posts from the last 30 days