About Damn Time

Some of you may have been wondering wtf was going on Friday afternoon. No, Four For Friday and everything late. Well, believe me, if you saw some of the peen that I decided to not post on FFF, you would not have had the stomach to worry about any missing blind items. Friday just happened to be a very busy day for me and I also had to leave work early to catch a flight and so things just got frantic at the last minute.

Normally I don't really talk about my trips unless it is to Vegas or some other suitable place of debauchery, but this time I thought I would share a little something. It all started a few weeks ago when I found out I was going to have to go to Vancouver for business. I don't really like flying much anymore because I have been shunned to the two seat section. For those of you who are wonderfully thin, it means the airline makes me buy two seats so some poor thin person doesn't have to get stuck next to me.

Anyway, once I knew I was going to Vancouver, FW told me that I had to finally meet jax. As a frequent reader, FW knows all about jax and said if I was going to be in Vancouver, that the least I could do was to ask her if she wanted to go to lunch. FW is good that way. She has manners and grace and I don't. Before I get into lunch with jax, I need to say that I finally caved and told FW how I felt about her. It was a hard thing to do because FW has a lot going on in her life and certainly doesn't need me to complicate things. I want to make her life easy, but a 400 pound man with six ex wives carries a lot of baggage. FW has a very nice, safe existence right now and getting together with me, is not necessarily a joy worth experiencing.

I think another issue is I have this blog and she reads it. I can say what I want and she really can't. I'm a very big guy, and an adult and am going into this with hope, but again, I bring a lot to the table. If it doesn't work out, it is not FW's fault. It would be 100% mine. I really hope that someday she will write something on here. She is probably the most amazing person I have ever met in my life. She puts up with so much crap from me and so much of my drama, but is always there. Any mistakes that have ever been made in our friendship have all been mine.

Wow, that was more than I intended. And, I know all of you want to hear about lunch. So, I e-mailed jax and she was all for it. One of my friends was going to be visiting Vancouver and agreed to go so that way there wouldn't be any awkward pauses. Well, for some reason Friday night I got my drunk on. I know, I know, but I found myself at a Denny's at 7am, and drinking wine straight from the bottle in my hotel room at 8am. My friend came over around 11 because she wanted to take me to this cool place called Bacchus. Of course there we drank a bottle of champagne and I had two or three other drinks and the next thing you know I am 30 minutes late for my lunch with jax.

Well, lunch started out at the art gallery where we could test the waters in a public place, and frankly it is good for me to walk sometimes. I don't exercise much. So, the three of us walked and talked and looked at feminist exhibit which seemed to feature an inordinate number of female sexual organs in very large sizes.

But, then it was time for lunch. My friend knew of a place that had great drink specials, so we went to some place called Cactus Cafe and my friend and I blew through six drinks each and a massive amount of food while jax just sipped her one drink biding her time. Waiting to pounce.

Well, I guess the plan was to get me hammered, and my tongue loose and jax wanted to be sober for that. Four hours of questioning later, another 5 drinks and a waitress who looked like Reese Witherspoon in Election and about as f**king cheery and it was time for my nap. So, they rolled me out to a cab and shoved me inside. I have to say that I loved meeting jax, and that I appreciate her and all of you that make this such a great place to be everyday. I don't even remember everything I said or revealed, but do know when I left I was sweating even more than normal. So, you never know. If I have some business in your city, you never know when you might get an e-mail asking you out to lunch too.

Just Makes You Eat More

CNN has a story today about how Twinkies are going to be sold in 100 calorie snack packs now. Umm, if you are a person like me who eats Twinkies the last thing you are really concerned about is how many calories they are. I would prefer not knowing actually that a speck the size of my thumb is 100 calories. My main concern with a Twinkie is whether or not I can find a way to deep fry it not limiting myself to 100 calories.

This whole snack pack thing is the rage now because people they figure still want sweets but will just limit it to 100 calories. That isn't the way it works though. The way it works is that it lets you add up the calories you are eating as you open each pack and for those of you who are health conscious you start rationalizing with yourself over each new pack being opened. What is 100 or 200 calories you say to yourself. Eventually when you get to package number 6 or 7 you realize you could have saved two dollars, the environment some paper and using your fingers and toes as a calculator by just buying the regular size in the first place.

Even Kneepads Has A Bad Day

I guess even the most ass kissiest publication in the free world sometimes wakes up on the wrong side of the bed. Either that or the person who edited the story is new and came from someplace like a blog and snark. The above photo is the one People magazine used in their story talking about the wedding of Picabo Street. Besides having one of the coolest names around, Picabo, also has won a gold medal in skiing.

The story came because Picabo or her publicist or someone called and told People that Picabo got married October 25th. Apparently when your 15 minutes are up, good news travels much slower. So slow in fact that many marriages would have been over by this time. It must suck thinking you are somewhat of a celebrity, get married in front of a ton of people, have designers make clothes for you and yet, still no tabloid cares. Well, People does. At least to an extent. If Picabo or the publicist was handing out this "exclusive" don't you think they could have provided a photo that wasn't from the 9th grade ski club yearbook photo. This is the picture she wants the world to associate with her wedding?

Hopefully People will correct this and pay her an obscene amount of money for her real wedding photos. Congratulations to the couple.

Another One Bites The Dust

Somewhere in this vast archive of blind items is one about the relationship between DeAnna Pappas and Jesse Csincsak. Don't know where it is exactly but I will find it. DeAnna announced that she and he fiancee who she found on the Bachelorette have split up and head their separate ways. She will donate her ring to charity which is a nice touch.

So, in my mind I think there is still only one married couple from that show, and one couple that has been together forever but are not married. I just think that in that kind of situation it is very difficult to find any kind of true love because you don't spend any time with that person. It is a game, it is not love. It is about getting as much attention for yourself as possible and getting your 15 minutes of fame and hopefully earning a few bucks along the way. I can't imagine that anyone goes into it actually thinking they are going to get married. I think most people go into these types of show wondering how they can stand out from the crowd so they can end up getting paid to host parties at Vegas clubs.

If It's True You Have To Admire It

When you are Jean Claude Van Damme, career opportunities don't come quite as quickly or easily or pay as well as they used to. So, when the chance to do some press for his new film came along and was going to put him in the limelight for a little while again, you know he was desperate for it. But, according to the NY Post, Jean Claude decided to pass on all the promotional appearances because one of his dogs is in a coma and just couldn't bear to leave it right now.

Apparently, Jean Claude lives in Thailand and he just adopted seven puppies and this is one of those puppies. Now, I know I am always a cynic, but there really is not any reason to lie or make up this story. Jean Claude was going to get a bunch of press for this film so he really didn't need this. He would get more attention for the film press than he will for this.

So, I choose to believe he is doing this out of the goodness of his heart, and also because he knows that he can always get out there in a few weeks. I like seeing actors though putting someone or something ahead of themselves on the priority list.

Fashion Icon?

Two things I never thought I would see together are Mary Kate Olsen and the term fashion icon. Apparently someone must think she is because in an interview she recently gave she was asked what its like to be such a respected fashion icon throughout the world. Umm. Mary Kate doesn't even usually wear clothes. She usually just grabs the first piece of fabric she sees in the morning, grabs her cigarettes, coffee and ten pound sunglasses and heads for the door. I don't think of her as having anything positive to do with fashion.

Not so according to the interviewer who must have got her training at People or by Larry King. According to the interviewer, girls all over the world have rushed to copy every bit of Mary Kate's style and anxiously await to see what she is going to wear next. Is she sure she has the right person? Does anyone you know scan US and People just hoping to see what Mary Kate is wearing and then rushing out to their dumpster to see if someone threw it away.

Here is what Olsen had to say about the whole icon thing. "For me it was laziness. I wore my pyjamas and threw on whatever was warm enough. It still amazes me. It's just layers and it doesn't make any sense to me at all."

So how come if Mary Kate knows that her being a fashion icon is a bunch of crap, the interviewer doesn't. Even after Mary Kate says it doesn't make any sense she asked where Mary Kate got her ideas and her inspiration and totally ignored the fact that Mary Kate just said she doesn't have a style except for laziness. She is like the Adam Sandler of the female persuasion when it comes to clothes. Sandler always wears t-shirts and shorts. He's lazy and doesn't care, but I don't see people running to him and calling him a fashion icon so what makes it different for Mary Kate?

Bye Bye Bridget

Just when I thought Bridget Marquardt might get to be the star this year of Girls Next Door and give me a reason to watch, it looks as if that won't be the case. In an interview over the weekend Bridget was dropping hints that she won't be long for the house. I am hoping that she is going to be in some of the new season because I feel like she didn't get enough attention focused on her. I mean with Holly Madison basically controlling who got to be seen, Bridget seemed to be left out of a great deal. Everything basically centered on Holly and how she was the best and smartest and had the best fake breasts.

Every now and again she would show us Kendra if Kendra looked like an idiot, but Bridget was basically forced to the sidelines all of the time unless it was specifically about someone in her family coming to visit. Of course since Bridget is married, and getting a PhD and is about ten years older than Hef's ideal, it is no wonder she doesn't want to be there anymore.

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which sexy starlet keeps blabbing that she can’t stand her faux boyfriend? The producers of her hit show hooked the young couple up as a publicity stunt, but she says that every time she has to smooch him in front of the paparazzi, it’s like “Frenching a lizard.”