Ashley Dupre Gets An Advice Column

You know things are going to crap in this world when Ashley Dupre is getting paid a salary to write an advice column for the NY Post. Everyone is out of work, but the former hooker who brought down a Governor is suddenly an expert on dating and relationships and gets a job. There is no way I could do this topic justice, and I thought to myself I bet Michael K already wrote about it. Sure enough he had, and for his take on the thoughts of Ashley doling out relationship advice, you can click here.

Courtney Loses The Bean - Talks About Hookers For Ex-Boyfriends And Spray Tans

TMZ just posted that Courtney Love lost legal control of The Bean on Friday. Kurt Cobain's mom and sister were appointed temporary guardians to the 17 year old. The only time something like this happens is if the parents cannot properly take care of the child. Judging from Courtney's status updates on Facebook it doesn't look like she really even cares. Today she has shared that she once got an ex-boyfriend a hooker for his birthday and that she misses Michael Stipe and someone named Julie and wants to get a pizza and a spray tan.

Seriously? You just lost legal custody of your child and you are talking about this kind of stuff? That is messed up.

"oh jesus, i once got an ex ex boyfriend or whatever youw ant to calthat creep a hooker and i guess it must have been thru this chick, i didnt do the "getting: however. it was a bday present arent i just the libertine!"

"pizza and a spray tan wondering how the Corg is doing miss Stipe and Julie want to see them, doesnt pizza in a cold nyc night and a spray tan sound ridiculous!"

Thanks Kris.

Grizz Goes On Dr. Oz.

One of my favorite parts of 30 Rock involve the scenes with Tracey Morgan's bodyguards. I love them. One of them is played by Grizzwald "Grizz" Chapman. He is on Dr. Oz tomorrow and tells his own personal story about how he has to go on dialysis three days a week and needs a kidney transplant but can't get it until he loses 75 pounds. Even if he does lose the weight there is still a five year wait for them.

He went on the show because Dr. Oz and he have become friends. It turns out that if Grizz had taken his hypertension medicine he probably wouldn't need the kidney transplant or the dialysis. He isn't asking for special privileges because he is a celebrity. He is just sharing a story that so many people in this country can relate to and I admire him for coming forward and opening up about his failures and how they have led to this and hope he can set an example for how people can stay healthy.

I have never watched Dr. Oz but I am actually going to tomorrow. My thoughts are with Grizz.

They Closed A Zoo

Here is my thing about closing things for celebrities. If you own a store you can do whatever the hell you want. It is your store. You make the business decision. I will say that most stores just tend to stay open after closing for a celebrity or tell them to f**k off because you are only that important in your mind and other celebrities don't need it.

When it comes to things that are run by cities or governments or nominally some public operation like a zoo, I have a big problem with shutting it down for a celebrity. That is what happened last week in Spain though. The Seville zoo closed the zoo to all the people of the city and the country and everyone who makes it possible for it to remain open so three people could have it to themselves. Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise. An entire zoo. All closed because they wanted to see it alone. Why? What gives them the power to close the zoo? If you tell me it would cause a riot to have the fans of them also in the zoo at the same time then tell the Cruise/Holmes gang to stay at home. You have basically told them and their 3 year old kid they are more important than every citizen of the entire country.

When the lovely Princess and her family were at the zoo they didn't close the zoo and they are the royal family of the country.

Did You Watch The Jack5ons Last Night?

Last night I was enjoying my Sunday night buzz. Just that kind of numb feeling that washes over you before the dread of Monday morning sets in and you realize you have to work the next day. I hate that feeling. So, I was flipping channels and it stopped on A&E. It stopped because my mouth dropped. It was that Jackson's show. There were the four remaining brothers practicing their dance moves. Hilarious. The private ceremony they wanted for Michael's funeral? You know the one for close friends and family so they could honor him in their quiet way? Filmed from ever possible angle for their reality show. These guys are a piece of work. The best thing that has happened to them in the past 25 years is Michael dying. Seriously. That might be callous but the way they are grabbing on to a dollar wherever and however they can shows they were pretty desperate for fame and money and are going to take advantage of it.

Think about this for a second. They are making money off his death. No one would have cared about their show or their opinions or let LaToya near a f**king red carpet if Michael hadn't died. I guess I don't blame them but it just seems cheap. Not that there is anything cheap about the plastic shell Jermaine calls his hair. When you see it in HD it makes you want to run and hide in a corner.

Lindsay Saved India

Apparently Lindsay Lohan saved all the children she could save as she is back in the US now. A couple of thoughts. First I want to thank everyone and I mean everyone who sent me the Daily Telegraph article from this weekend. Needless to say there are some people who are pissed that Lindsay said she saved 40 kids in a day. Namely the people who spent two years organizing the raid and oh, Lindsay wasn't even in the country when the raid happened.

Another thought. Dina was quoted in Kneepads saying how proud she was of Lindsay for going. It sounds to me like she got paid to go spend a week in India to film a documentary. Let me know when she goes there for six months with no camera crew and for no pay and we can talk about how proud we all are. Yes, it is better than not going at all, but I swear to you that I will not be able to handle her talking about how when she was in India she saw this and that and have to listen to that for a year. She spent like four days there total.

Oh, and apparently it is not Ali Lohan anymore. Nope. There has been a change. Officially she has to be referred to as Aliana now. Yep, they are going to try and make her a one name star.

Chris Brown Says Retailers Blackballing Him - Yay Retailers!!!!

You know, I don't have a Twitter account but I sure like reading the celebrities who write their own Tweets. Over the weekend Chris Brown went ballistic. Like in a I am going to beat Rihanna kind of way. Seriously. Most of his most offensive threatening posts have been taken down, but luckily they were recorded for all time before he could do so.

It turns out that Chris Brown has fans. I know, I know. Shocking! It turns out these fans actually want to spend their money on Chris Brown records and apparently concerts also. His two concerts over the weekend were sold out. Thanks to all those fans for rewarding the f**ker and putting a few hundred thousand in his pocket.

Anyway, some fans were complaining they couldn't find his new record on the shelves. One fan had been told by a manager at a store they didn't want to stock the CD's of women beaters. I love that! Another went to a different store and was told they would never carry Chris Brown. Brilliant!!

Well Chris Brown went to a Wal-Mart in Connecticut. Guess what? They didn't have any of his CD's on display. They had Alicia Keys already to go for Tomorrow, but no Chris Brown in the front or back. Love it.

Chris Brown didn't love it and said the following:

"im tired of this s--t, major stores r blackballing my cd. not stockin the shelves and lying to costumers. what the f--k do i gotta do."

Umm, how about not beating women and stop being a self entitled prick for awhile. Oh, and learn how to spell customers. Just saying.

"yeah i said it and i aint retracting s--t. im not biting my tongue about s else..."

Umm, actually he did retract it a little while later. You won't find the above two on his Twitter anymore.

"the industry can kiss my a--."

Also taken down.

The only ones which remain are the address of the Wal-Mart and his experiences there. If you live close to this Wal-Mart, please stop by and give the manager a hug.

"JUST WAS AT WALMART IN wallingford CT,844 north colony.. the didnt even have my album in the back... not on shelves, saw for myself"

"we talked to the managers and the didnt even know anything. wow!!! but they had alicia keys album ready for release for this tuesday comin."

"the manager told me that when there are new releases its mandatory to put em on the shelves.. BUT NO SIGN OF #GRAFFITI. BS"

"no disprespect to alicia at all.. just givin an example to whos album is loaded and ready to go next week"

Whine much Chris?

Dad Dies - Tiger Cheats - I Have Questions

Does anyone get the feeling there is more to this Tiger Woods marriage then we actually know? Back in January when I was tipped about Tiger Woods cheating it came from a Swedish journalist. He threw it around like it was no big deal. He had heard it from the Swedish end so Elin or her family. She must have known all of this was going on right? I don't care how much money you have it is tough hiding one affair from your partner let alone 10 people at a time. It just isn't possible if you have a close relationship with your partner.

I think something happened Thanksgiving weekend which was out of the normal. Either a disease or a pregnancy or the announcement someone was going to leave. Something out of the ordinary happened.

Also think about the story which came out this weekend. Jamie Jungers who I showed in her Today show interview Friday told News Of The World she had sex with Tiger in Tiger's house the night his father died. The family knew Tiger's dad was going to die but where was Elin? In a close family wouldn't you be with your partner if their dad was on his death bed?

Instead Tiger was cheating on his wife, gets out of bed to say goodbye to his dad, comes back and has more sex and has Jamie in his bed when he gets the news his dad died. There is just way way more to all of this than Tiger cheating on Elin.