I Sinned

So, last night I found myself sitting in front of a television at about 9pm and so turned it on. The television was on FOX, so I watched American Idol. I know, I know, I feel like I need a cleanse. I came in right before #6. I won't even try and pretend that I remember names of any of the contestants, and this was the first time I watched the show in a few years. It probably will be the last. I will say that once I started watching it, I did hope that I had not missed Carly Smithson who is that person I wrote about last week.

When they showed the wrap up at the end with all the singers, I realized that I was glad I didn't also spend the first hour watching the show. I don't know if there was a theme to the show the singers had to follow, but these were some of the most awful performances I have ever seen on the show. Yes, there were 12 of them, but there were no standouts. The songs were all boring and I just felt like the whole thing had no life. Not watching for the past two years, I did notice that the comments from the judges were the exact same from any of the past years. You really don't even need them anymore. They have already said everything that needs to be said, and you could just cut to a clip of any of the three and no one at home would even notice or care. I guess the computer voice slipping in a him or her might be a clue, but other than that, it is just the same damn thing.

I am going to make some generalizations here which I know are not true of everyone, so for those of you on AI boards who love to send e-mails, don't. It seemed like everyone was an exact replica of Carrie Underwood. That frosted blond hair and cookie cutter face. Why do I want to have more of Carrie Underwood. I can't stand her so I don't need a second one in my face everyday.

There were the normal complement of slightly overweight women who I admire, but who have no chance of winning because we in the US have a thing against women who are not stick thin. Oh, we will vote a fat guy to the top, but not an overweight woman. You may as well just go home now, because you are not going to win.

I only saw her in the recap but love the woman with the multi-colored hair. There is always one each year they pick to show they have some diversity, but I really liked the 20 seconds I heard and I think she actually should go start a band and make a living. She is not an AI though.

The African American women I saw were probably the best of the bunch, and I would listen to them again. Wouldn't buy their album, but would like to see them on the show. The 18 year old who did the Britney impression needs to go to Vegas right now and do that for a living. It was by far the best Britney impression I have ever heard, and she will make more money doing that and she will have less chance of ending up like Jessica Sierra if she just heads straight to Vegas and starts doing that impression.

Carly, the Irish no hit wonder who seems to have lost her accent in San Diego while gaining a ton of tattoos. Smart move to cover the tattoos because people in the US won't vote for chicks with tats. Not going to happen. She was really good but what would you expect from someone who has performed in front of thousands of people before. I like how they made her talk about her past record signing and just kind of blew threw it. Did you hear her say in that little video montage that she didn't think Simon liked her voice? Honey, how the hell do you think you got on the show anyway. The people over at 19 had a discussion and they wanted you. She knows that. I have never seen Randy Jackson so excited over someone. I thought he was going to go over to her and just make her the winner right then. Maybe because he feels responsible for some of the MCA crap that went wrong?

I probably liked the Asian girl who went second or third to last? She was good and had a different look than normal, plus she was honest when she said the best part of the show was hair and makeup. I'm sure the producers will have a chat with her about in the future she should say things like having the opportunity to be with a great bunch of people and film cheesy commercials. They still do that right?

I put my favorite down below.

Prince Frederic Pimped Out Anna Nicole Smith While Having Affair With Her

When the whole Anna Nicole Smith baby daddy drama was being played out, the person everyone laughed at the most was Zsa Zsa Gabor's ex husband Prince Frederic Von Anhalt who just knew he was the baby's daddy.

At the time, people didn't even believe he knew Anna Nicole Smith, and that there was no way she would ever let some mid 60's guy have his way with her. But lest we forget, Anna did have a certain fetish for people who were entering their twilight years or, sunset years, or were ready to have someone pull the plug.

Now, the Prince, not be to be confused with Prince who as far as I know has never slept with Anna Nicole Smith, and was probably not interested in her while she was alive. As far as while she is dead, well, Prince has always been a little freaky, but that seems a little beyond what he would do. A video about or a song maybe though. He does like to shock.

Anyway, the Prince is writing a book about his affair with Anna Nicole because he wants to show the world he really did have sex with her. He even has photos, which presumably since he couldn't sell them he will use to exploit her death even more than everyone else has in his new book.

Where this really gets interesting is that while their romance was going full steam ahead, Anna allegedly cooed that she wanted a title. Well, the Prince didn't want to stop sharing Anna and Sugarpie's bed so he got right on that and set Anna up with a German aristocrat who was willing to marry Anna Nicole sight unseen. Well, actually I am sure he saw plenty of her and knew that if he could give her a title and she was already sleeping with a dog, the Prince, Larry, and possibly Howard K, then his odds were pretty good of getting something as well.

Alas, the Prince said Anna died before the marriage could take place. Oh how I wish it had taken place because all this thing is missing is some more Europeans with titles. By the way, I wonder if this German dude has called Denise Richards because I just know she would love to have a title, and make everyone call her by that title as well. Of course titles are not allowed under US law, but it wouldn't stop her from trying to use it.

Michael Musto Blind Items

What are you hungry for, kids? A healthy serving of blind items with a drizzle of bilberry syrup and a side order of brown couscous? You want a heaping plate of those unnervingly suggestive tidbits about various notables' unscrupulous doings, whereby I leave out the names so you're left to skank around every Internet watercooler there is and frantically try to dredge up the answers? OK, darlings, I'll let the anonymous good times rip just to give you some electrifying bonding time with your equally sleaze-minded cohorts. But since so many of you bother me like the dickens for the answers to Page Six's blindies all the time, why don't you just fucking call them for mine. Here goes:

Who once generously gave a gentleman something during a charity event for an organization in his late mother's name? (What he gave, actually, was a blowjob in the bathroom. Ma would have been so proud.) What couple almost split up during the making of that movie because she was on fire with jealousy that he got to show his actual talent? (No worries. It totally bombed.) What fabulous trannie swears she cut it off, but it's still there, dangling between her legs like a pendulum? Which young Broadway leading lady has for several years fallen in love with every guy who plays opposite her, even though—or maybe because—it's always a gay? Which top anchor is a bottom? Which pop star is a top? (Or so goes the legend; actually, he and one of his hot boyfriends switched positions and loved it.) Which same star did it with that married but gay male socialite? Which female politician once slept with a rabbi's sister, according to an American Idol personality who's a friend of the rabbi? Which top fashion writer disdainfully refers to a colleague of his as "Cavewoman"? What publicist introduced someone around as a boyfriend, only to have that someone lean into the ear of one of the people he'd met and mutter: "This guy is the foulest, most name-dropping asshole alive!" Any arguments?

What male comeback star (in movies and mostly TV) is known as a completely cold, unpleasant fish to work with, though he can certainly turn on the charm when he needs to? Which charismatic pit bull is described by some who've worked with her as a monster off-camera as well, someone who took her assigned role a little too seriously and became quite power-mad in the head? What lovable showbiz relic is so needy that if you show her a little kindness, she'll start calling you at two in the morning for lengthy chats every night for months? What much younger songstress has very little actual chemistry with the husband, probably because she's a big old lesbo? What drag queen with a record (meaning criminal, not long-playing) was spotted at a magazine bash, shoveling crudités into her bag and explaining, "A girl's gotta eat!"? Yeah, but that much? What transforming young movie star already seemed problematic last year when, in the middle of a press junket, he would snap at underlings, "Where's my cigarette?" then would rudely bolt for a puffing break when he got one?

Which pasty-white club mess (with his friends) blithely walked out on a check at Beige (after insanely trying to get me to pay it) and was thrown out of Hiro for choking his boyfriend, the same week he was featured in New York magazine's Look Book? What same guy became the subject of restraining tactics by a stylist when he kept using the stylist's name to get free clothes long after he ceased working for him? (Oh, did I mention he's also a thief?) Which modeling dynasty scion left her dog at a spa and never bothered to pick it up? (They didn't really mind. She paid for it to be there.) Which reality star can be seen being fisted by an admirer in a kooky video that's making the underground rounds? Should we give him a hand? Which movie star who seems so brooding and enigmatic actually doesn't speak much because he doesn't have much to say, swears an insider? What model he was once aligned with also maintains much glamour and mystery by keeping her dumb trap shut (except to open it for drugs)?

Which legendary black singer was spotted at a store, where she was screaming into her cell phone, "Doesn't anyone read in your office? Don't you understand English? I told you to arrange that flight!"? Was it perhaps a flight on a broomstick? Which beloved Broadway diva was supposedly the girlfriend of grande dame Judith Anderson all those diva years ago? What ex-Times critic looks back on his gig there as a poisonous time filled with backstabbing and one-upmanship? How can I get a job there? What comic in his sixties concerned onlookers when his speech at a roast last year was punctuated with loud snorts and grandiose nose-wiping? Which black funny lady admits she can't even hit the stage without being tanked, skanked, and totally blotto? Which porn star has no detectable accent when he answers his cell phone, but then seems to remember to lay one on once he realizes who you are? Which '70s star ingeniously turned a recent memorial service into a giant photo op for himself? Which swiveling tartlet's people brutally Tasered a young fan who simply wanted to tell her he loves her? At this point, shouldn't they Taser all the people who don't care? What female politico's daughter looked so bulimic at her wedding that friends considered staging an intervention? What cute, young guy, who's Hollywood royalty, recently had a heartwarming experience peeing into a trannie's anus, only to have all kinds of shit shoot out? Jealous?

Which seemingly passive half of that design duo can actually be a tempestuous spitfire? (He threw a drink at a Barracuda patron, whose friend chased him out the door, hoping for a showdown.) Which club regular is rumored to dabble in dominatrix work and is so successful at it that she got $1,100 from a guy just to shave one armpit? Shouldn't there be some kind of buy-one-get-one-free deal? What African-American young man who works for a repetitively named design firm (or says he does) trolls around gay parlors trying to drum up some johns? Which CBS personality sits in his car telling passersby that he's doing so to watch Katie Couric on the news, but it's actually to stall until 7 p.m., when his parking there can become legal? Which portrait artist's dog sadly spent two days in the hospital after ingesting cocaine (someone else's, mind you)? Are any of you miscreants muttering, "What a waste of good cocaine"?

Which exotic, young hotshot designer has been supposedly doing it with that black rapper with many children? Which cute-as-a-button Broadway performer who's gone from leads to supporting roles is actually straight? (No, I'm serious. There's one Broadway male who really is a hetero, and this guy is it.) Which other always-working Broadway type continually talks about a hot girlfriend who never materializes, for obvious reasons? Which good-looking writer of exposé books has a sexually adventurous side himself? Which hotel just underwent some firings because staffers admitted a 16-year-old model to the in-house club and she ended up so intoxicated she capped off her night reclining in an ambulance?

DNfromMN - Movie Reviews - The Signal and Vantage Point

Two Takes on Different Viewpoints

THE SIGNAL (Release Date 2/22/08)

VANTAGE POINT (Release Date 2/22/08)

I wasn’t going to do a review of The Signal, because I saw it like 2 months ago and I knew it wouldn’t be released for a couple of months and, if you really want to read reviews, it was at Sundance 2007 so it’s been reviewed a zillion times. Then I saw Vantage Point, which I was jazzed about from the previews: good cast, interesting idea, and action movie. If I were spending movie dollars this weekend instead of prepping for my Oscar bash, I’d seek out The Signal over Vantage Point. (However, the boyfriend has the opposite taste.) And honestly, neither one is entirely successful.


Story (The Signal): Maya and Ben are having an affair, and plan to skip town. Before they can leave, a signal invades all airwaves (radio, tv, phones, cell phones, etc.) on New Year’s Eve. After being exposed to the signal, people become murderously paranoid, including Maya’s husband. Who survives? Who gets ‘infected’? Will Maya and Ben live happily ever after?

Here’s the catch, there are 3 directors, and 3 parts of the story. Each director got to write their section of the movie. That’s important information, because parts 1 and 3, scary and tense. Part 2 is a comedy, with horror elements (like Shaun of the Dead). That’s the flaw of this movie. You never know what you’re going to get, but that middle part is just such a different vibe on the story, it’s confusing and really interferes with what you thought was the main plotline with Ben and Maya. Part 2 is really very funny, and highly entertaining, it’s just in the wrong movie. Think of it like 3 short films, with the same characters, and I think it’s a better movie.

I found some YouTube clips, which will give you a taste. Here’s the red-band trailer, which is clips of part 1. And is a pretty good approximation of the tone and style of parts 1 and 3.



And here’s two and a half minutes of the middle third:



Both are entertaining, in completely different ways. Watching them without a commercial interruption just didn’t fly with pretty much everyone in the group I saw it with.


Vantage Point (the story): The President is shot while giving a speech and the Secret Service are on the hunt for the shooter. What happens is told from the point of view of the news cameras (Sigourney Weaver), secret servicemen (Dennis Quaid and Mattthew Fox), a suspect (Eduardo Noriega), a tourist in the crowd (Forest Whitaker), The President (William Hurt), and then a final sequence which explains it all.

What a cast! What an idea! What a mess. I’m sure it was pitched as: Memento meets Magnolia, or “24” meets Short Cuts. I give the screenwriter credit for finding a way to connect all these people, but I have to take credit away for some of the most clichéd dialogue I’ve heard in a really long time. There are two really quite serious things that happen in the last 10 minutes, and the packed auditorium burst out laughing because of the line. That’s not a good sign.


And here’s the other thing, after you see the movie rewind itself twice, the audience gets it. We’re able to grasp that when you flash the time stamp at the bottom of the screen: oh, now it’s time for someone else’s point of view. And there were too many stories. Is the little girl who gets ice cream on Forest Whitaker’s ass important? Maybe, but is it a necessary element? No. I could care less about ice cream girl. The terrorists are far more interesting, and I wish we would’ve gotten a better view of their day. This could’ve been a taut 67 minute movie like Red Eye, but there were too many unnecessary subplots.

The acting in Vantage Point is good most of the way around. Sigourney Weaver is pretty much only in her segment, but it’s the opener, and she’s tough as nails. Forest Whitaker is lovable in a pretty poorly written role. William Hurt plays William Hurt better than anyone. The exception is for Dennis Quaid. It looks like he went the Renee Zellweger route on this one: “I’m a conflicted person, so I have to look like I’m sucking on a lemon.” I normally like DQ, and he’s had a rough year with what happened to his twins and all, but really, he’s pretty bad here. Oh, and when Matthew Fox tries to speak Spanish, it’s more like Ess-Spagh-Nole. Note to Matt: Just keep your mouth shut and look pretty, please.

I think it’s great that we’ve got a weekend where two of the releases play with subjective takes on an event. In The Signal, you get a disjointed horror/comedy with really effective parts that don’t gel. In Vantage Point, you get too much information for a really shallow plot, where everything gels but nothing is really effective.

So what’re these two worth. I’d say the Signal is worth a matinee if you like horror movies ($7), and Vantage Point will be great on DVD or HBO ($4). You may want to bring popcorn to Vantage Point, just to keep yourself busy while the movie rewinds (seriously, every time).

Daily Mirror Blind Item

From The Brit Awards

Which singer shocked fellow celebs by leaving white powder spread all over a toilet cistern. He realised he'd left behind the mess and went back to find someone else hoovering it up..

Jason Wahler Turning Into KKK Poster Boy

You know I don't watch The Hills, and so have trouble remembering who is who. My woeful knowledge is further contaminated by the fact that I did watch the first season of Laguna Beach, but none of the other seasons and thus am even more confused about which people made it to The Hills and which ones were left on the beach to become lifeguards and remake Sam Elliott's film at some point in the future. If you ever want to watch some creepy age play, watch that whole film.

Anyway, I do know Jason Wahler was in The Hills but I really don't know how he fits in with them. I do know how he fits in with the KKK, and from what I understand he could be their first ever celebrity spokesperson. No, they haven't made him an offer, and I doubt he would accept, but he sure has made his views known about the African American race on more than one occasion, and now it has got him into trouble again.

If you recall, Jason went to rehab last year after he was arrested for underage drinking, assault and hurling racial epithets at a cop. He would probably say it was because he was drunk. I think that is a bunch of crap and you do what you do, drunk or not.

Now, he has got himself banned from girlfriend Eva Braun's apartment complex. Actually I think her name is Katja Decker-Sadowski but that doesn't sound very white powerish so I think we should go with Eva. It appears that Jason got himself into a tizzy at the apartment complex and used the N word against a security guard at the complex.

A spokesperson for the apartment complex said, "Jason Wahler's racist remarks were uncalled for. He is no longer welcome in the building."

Guess they will be making future Hitler Youth in his car or back at his place with the other guys from American X. Eva here also needs to get rid of Jason. If she hasn't broken up with him, then she must agree with his positions and therefore she is also a racist. If you are her friend, I bet she says things like "he doesn't mean it," or "it's just because he was drinking." You will probably hear those same excuses from her when he starts beating the crap out of her.

How Come Pink Is Doing All The Talking?

I have to tell you that things really look suspicious when one person is doing a lot of talking and appearing to be overly gracious. Take Pink and Carey Hart for an example. There was a statement by HER publicist announcing the split, and since then it has been Pink, Pink, Pink who has been on the offensive.

Yesterday she posted the following on her blog "I wanted to reach out personally to all my fans/friends out there in the world.

"First and foremost, thank you for all of your support and love, it means a lot to me right now.

"The most important thing for you all to know is that Carey and I love each other so, so much. This breakup is not about cheating, anger or fighting. I know it sounds like cliché bulls***, but we are best friends, and we will continue to be."

"All I know at this point is that I want to make the best album I can, and Carey wants to do the best possible job he can with everything he has going on. He is a good man, so please support him as well.

"One never knows the future, but mine and Carey's just might involve beach babies and sunshine one day. Just not right now. Thanks for the concern and caring."

To put this in the language of people like us who are just regular people. You have a couple who are friends of yours that file for divorce. The wife says what Pink just said and you say to yourself, then why the hell are you getting divorced? First of all, I won't accuse anyone of cheating, but if you tell me that being married to Pink doesn't involve any anger or fighting than, you just don't know Pink.

I could see how he could get tired of her crap really quickly, and she wanted to make herself look good and so all the public posts and statements. Carey hasn't said a damn thing and he is probably thankful for that. I think he left her, and she knows that he was her best chance at a guy.

So far Carey has been a class act and kept his mouth shut. Lets see if that continues when OK! and The Enquirer start calling.

Lainey Blind

Heterosexually attached for a long, long time, he recently faced his inner gay and admitted the truth. His partner apparently took it well. As well as any woman can under the circumstances. She felt much better when she found out how much of the bank account she was entitled to. And given that he was the one walking, and he is the one who’s famous, he’s also the one who has to pay. A lot.

So now he’s broke – relatively speaking. In Hollywood terms, I mean. Lost his job, no work on the horizon, he seriously considered coming out as a way of “reinventing his image”, not for gay rights but because he needs the money. Only problem is, he was told over and over again that “no one will care if you’re gay”.

On the flipside, a fake Hollywood romance with a famewhore like Denise Richards for example won’t fly either since the ex will flip her sh*t and out her himself, preferring to be passed over for a mo over another woman. Me too!

He was encouraged to do Dancing with the Stars but pride got in the way. If things don’t turn around, it’ll be a last resort next season.