Friday, October 03, 2008

Ted C Blind Item

It can be a rocky journey to the top, and no one knows this better than Finnegan Furrow-Brow. He's been in the spotlight for years, but never had that star recognition until most recently. See, Finny's a younger-type dude who's been thrust upon this world of flashing lights and flashing panties simply due to his ambitious achievements (which, of course, means he's starting to dabble in all kinds of crossover activities too, which usually happens with the young, firmly muscled and pretty popular).

F's tight ass and adorable smile def don't hurt his fame cred, either, but newly minted megamoney and magnified status aside, FFB isn't exactly a traditional knockout stud. Regardless, his basically "unthreatening" demeanor gets girls into the throes of his sheets all the damn time, anyways. But...these digging damsels shouldn't be too eager. Here's why:

Despite Frazzy's best ass-getting efforts, when it comes down to it, he often has difficulty knocking the cojones outta the park. Why? Oh, not because of any diss-able effort on his part—turns out, actually it's quite the opposite, as Mr. F.B.'s predicaments usually occur because he's such a good guy. See, he got the herp. And being the nice boy he is, he'll always warn (hugely unlike most of his H-town counterparts, hugely) these supple potential nooky sirens that he has herpes, but not to worry cause they can "just use a condom."

Cue girl's exit. Almost always.

Sheesh, maybe the dude should take that offer Miley Cyrus shot down and start reppin' rubbers? At least he'd get the (bigger) bucks if not the girl.

And It Ain't: Jesse McCartney, Cristiano Ronaldo, Roger Federer

69 comments:

Laura said...

My first thought was Emile Hirsch, but I can't think of any real "crossover" activities for him.

Dee said...

Michael Phelps? Ted doesn't specify that he's an entertainer, and 2 of the And it aint's are athletes.

Laura said...

Michael Phelps is a pretty good guess....

actually, seems pretty fuckin brilliant with the clues

Kristen S. said...

Oh yes! Phelps! Ted makes it sound like some Aw Shucks type of guy/athlete, and that fits Phelps to a T!

Dan said...

There is no way Michael Phelps has an "adorable smile"! :)

Molly said...

phelps is straight and a slut.

Punkimeowzer said...

Harry Potter aka Daniel Radcliffe?

Finnegan Furrow Brow made me think Irish/British and distinctive eyebrows. Daniel is pretty fit and performs a live nude scene in the Broadway show Equus.

Mexi said...

Wasn't there some pics of Phelps at a club grabbin' girl's asses recently? Yeah he does some cross over work (the Rosetta Stone commercial pops into mind..."see guys I told you, less than a minute") and I'm sure he's gotten tons of endorsements. Anyways, I don't see anyone that's all touchy like that being a "nice boy"

Bad Fish said...

Hee hee I think this is Michael Phelps.

The Herp is gross, but at least he had the decency to be upfront about it.

shelly_bean said...

Shia anyone? Some of the clues don't fit but he's been acting for a long time but is only recently getting big. and I think he's sexy but he isn't traditionally "hot".

and happy friday bitches!!!

jax said...

im going with Shia, does ted really give a shit about athletes?

any whore who throws her panties at any man deserves what she gets.

Katie said...

i'll go with phelps. but at least he's a good person!

Moosefan said...

Shia? He was on Even Stevens on the Disney Channel before the Transformers, Indy Jones, etc...Maybe he is nice enough to let the gals know before they wake up with a gift-and I ain't talkin about flowers or breakfast in bed...

Punkimeowzer said...

I re-read the blind and the consensus is right. It's Phelps. I commend him for forewarning the potential nooky sirens.

Punkimeowzer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
DNfromMN said...

Michael Phelps
-recent fame, despite years of sub-fame with his athletics
-"ambitious achievements" 8gold medals
-"isn't a traditional knockout stud" but "young, firmly muscled, and pretty popular."

Things that don't fit:
-Finnegan Furrow-Brow - too many syllables, no other match to Phelps.
-Does he have Hollywood counterparts?
-Where does Jesse McCartney fit in?

My second guess: Rafael Nadal, but same no-fits.

Ice Angel said...

Like I said to the other board...why are we trying to out someone doing something selfless and responsible?

Laura said...

Oh, and since ENT never revealed which Blinds were David Duchovony (ahem...)

Ted at least revealed one that was!
http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/the_awful_truth/b24875_one_comeback-clich233_blind_vice.html

Fritzy said...

Zac Efron? He's been around for a few years, but only recently found fame, he's got the brows, can see him 'crossing over', ambitious achievements (nominated for 8 awards, won 5)...

Molly said...

wow did i misread the blind.

Sitcur1777 said...

It is Michael Phelps

He's been in the spotlight for years, but never had that star recognition until most recently - Phelps swam in the 2000 Olympics and the 2004 Olympics but finally got noticed after the 2008 Olympics.

It can be a rocky journey to the top - Phelps was raised by his mom (his dad was mia). I think he also had add or something.

He's starting to dabble in all kinds of crossover activities too -Phelps hosted SNL Live and is now doing commercials.

Despite Frazzy's best ass-getting efforts - A while ago, it was reported that Phelps was seen in a club grabbing the tits and ass of strippers.

Molly said...

dn, ted doesn't always match syllables. see toothy tile for an example.

Molly said...

ice angel and laura --

yea and yea!

Sylvia said...

How about Collin Farrell.
name might be misspelled.

Kristen S. said...

Well, seems MP has a girlfriend, or at least one didn't run away: http://www.tmz.com/2008/10/03/phelps-latest-trophy/

JS said...

Michael Cera:
Starting to star and carry movies
"unthreatening" demeanor
isn't exactly a traditional knockout stud

Mooshki said...

Ha, Laura, I'd forgotten that Enty never got around to that - he probably did too. If you're reading this, time to dig 'em out my boy!

Mooshki said...

(Oh, and another Full Frontal appearance would go along with that quite nicely, thanks!)

JS said...

Laura, I went to the link and see the original blind, but i don't see a reveal by TC...where would that be? TIA

not a famous adrian said...

I immediately thought Shia, but now I see where you are all coming from with Michael Phelps, except the adorable smile part.

Alexis said...

Michael Phelps is the first person who came to mind, esp. with the phrase "FFB isn't exactly a traditional knockout stud."

g.del vecchio said...

AC Slater! I don't remember his real name, but re-read it, it's him.

stiffkittens said...

If he doesn't have a girlfriend i would go with Phelps. He seems like the type to be this considerate (even when it looses him a lot of tail) and the crossover activities could be in reference to the advertising and TV offers he's had. Plus he has pale pinky skin that i always assume is from Irish blood (i don't know what his family history is though). Also i think his smile is freaking adorable!
Pretty much everyone in the western world with TV, radio and/or internet access know who he is.

Farrell has never been considered a good boy, and he's a very beautiful man when he takes care of himself.

It could be Harry Potter due to the brows and the theatre role being the 'crossover' thing. The recent publicity could be from his nakedness in the show - something that a lot of people/blogs/websites have been talking about (though this would be a bit of a stretch).

Shia appears to be a prick to me. The kind of guy that would find it funny to contaminate women without telling them, or just not thinking it was an issue (and to be fair, in the skank pool that is Hollywood it probably isn't anything most of them dont already have). Besides, what crossover work has he had?

yellow said...

Presuming TC actually researches is blind and gives clues in the aint's.

It's an athlete, there are 2 of them, Jesse is there because the athlete as the same age of Jesse. Name search of athletes with sharing either first or last name turned out empty, but the age search turned out Andrew "Andy" Murray, the finalist of the US Open:
- Same age as Jesse
- Athlete, and from an island like Ronaldo
- Athlete, a tennis player, and lost to Federer the US Open

Is in tennis forever, but only now with the US Open final as risen to stardom.

happygrl said...

I'm thinking this guy is a boxer or has been in a movie about boxing....he used the words rocky and knockout.

Dijea said...

1st guess - Shia.

KellyLynn said...

I think Yellow is onto something. Michael Phelps was my first guess, but the clues definitely fit Andy Murray better.

Cheryl said...

Dear Ted:
I had to comb through a lot of old Blind Vices (which was fun, actually!), but I think I finally figured out which Blind Vice is David Duchovny. Is he Sylvester Slimeball?
—Em
Dear B.V.-Files:
Yep.



One Comeback-Cliche Blind Vice (August 2007)

Sylvester Slimeball was a household name years ago when he was a major posh pooh-ba on a long-running boob-tube series. Boyfriend hasn’t done anything really big (well, certainly not as big as the man’s equipment down below happens to be) until now.

See, Sylvester’s coming to an entertainment enterprise near you...how exciting! I’m simply thrilled, and you will be, too, I’m sure! And now that S2’s a hot commodity again in ever-fickle Hollywood, S.S. has supposedly become quite the lothario—again. I mean, you know how a schmuck’s sleaze scale rises and falls along with his pro-meter, doncha? Men are always so predictable that way.

Now, Sly (no relation to Sly Stallone, promise) has been hitting on the hot young thangs who toil at his agency’s office and asking them out, despite the fact that S.S. is very much hitched, with tykes, to boot. Oh, please. Make me barf, already. You straights are even more indiscriminate than we fagolas are, and we can certainly be Slutty Sallys, fer sure!

Now, a little flirting never hurt anyone, but Sly Slime-B totally crossed the line with his recent bad-boy behavior, as Mr. Es actually showed up, unannounced and uninvited, to an assistant’s house—after working hours, natch. Dirty deets be that S.S. was carrying flowers and begged said worker bee to go on a “date” with him. When the horrified hon pointed out the much older S.S. was friggin’ married, his reply was too Tinseltown typical:

“It’s just for show,” he swore, "like all the Hollywood marriages."

Nice.

And it ain't: Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Denzel Washington

Ju

veronica said...

Rafa Nadal
He was dismissed as a clay court specialist but won Wimbledon this year in what is being hailed as the best match ever. He beat Federer and took his place at No. 1
He's known for muscles, adorable, smile and being a really nice guy (that eliminates Andy Murray).
And he's Spanish - cojones clue.

nunaurbiz said...

I usually NEVER have a clue about BIs, especially TwinkleToes Ted, but I read the first graph here and immediately thought of Phelps.

Demi's talking to him about a reality show she and Ashton want to do on him.

p m said...

I'm confused... when did Ted start writing in english?

Lori said...

I think this screams Mario Lopez.

littlemanwhatnow said...

so that slyvester slimeball is david duchovney? is that what we are all saying here? it sure sounds like him. please enlighten me.

Lori said...

I totally thought this was Ryan Seacrest.

DNfromMN said...

molly - he doesn't always match syllables, but it's always a clue. Toothy Tile's first appearance was within weeks of the release of Moonlight Mile (which is actually a good movie).


This still reeks of Phelps, but I can't shake the feeling that it's Nadal (but again, he doesn't have a reason to be in Hollywood circles).

Molly said...

well, then you're saying the same thing i did, dn. the fact that the syllables in the name don't match up w his real name isn't an issue. right?

littlemanwhatnow, yea, sylvester slimeball is david duchovney.

littlemanwhatnow said...

thanks molly!

Molly said...

any time!

Harriet Hellfire said...

Well, whoever it is - and I'm leaning towards Phelps as well - is actually a good guy for telling the truth. I have a feeling that doesn't happen a lot.

BinkyM said...

Michael Phelps fell out of an ugly tree, hitting every branch on the way, into an ugly pond. NO ONE thinks he has an "adorable" smile except perhaps his mother.

I'm blanking on a betteranswer (my first guess was Shia Laboeuf, but he hasn't done any "crossing over"), but those who've suggested Rafael Nadal have mae the best guess. I also thought "cojones" was a muy grande clue.

white lorelei said...

Hey -- I think Michael Phelps is adorable, seriously. When he's got on the mirrored racing goggles, he's a hottie. When he's on the podium after the medals, he's awesome.

And there are certain ways he smiles that are adorable.

If I was 25 years younger ......

Ah well.

That said, I totally thought it was him. Wouldn't be surprised about the herp -- those Olympic villages are just sex romps separated by the occasional sporting event.

Gwynnethe said...

Robert Pattinson?

Will be in Twilight movie, and formerly from Harry Potter movie.

In Twilight, he's a vampire which is threatening.

All the teens love the Twilight series.

Jaiden said...

I'm going with Phelps, because I refuse to believe that Rafa has the herp.

Ernestine said...

This screams James McAvoy to me. Maybe it's the Gaelic psuedonym Ted picked. Finnegan Furrowedbrow sure sounds as if he comes from Ireland or Scotland. Plus, there are those hints at unconventional handsomeness and sex symbol status, the reference to new fame, etc. Am I seriously the only one? Is there a reason why he wouldn't be the pick? He's single and probably gets a bunch of lady attention.

Of course, this is also Ted's, so who really knows the source, or the reliability? But the blind could be about a ceramic unicorn collection-owning closeted megasuperduperstar who has secret sex with dwarves in the shower and I'd still try to guess it. *shrugs.* It's a Friday ritual!

stiffkittens said...

James McAvoy is happily married to his blonde co-star from Shameless (British TV show) so it cant be him.

Ernestine said...

Damn. Really? I should have trusted IMBD over Wiki. *slaps hand*

I still think it's someone of Irish or Scotch descent -- unless Ted really IS that fucking random.

Lori said...

How about Ed Westwick from Gossip Girl? He is also in a band.

BinkyM said...

In looking at the "Ain't"s, we have a man from Portugal who has done nothing of a cross-over nature, one from Spain who likewise hasn't done anything outside his field (thse would seem to match only the "cojones" hint), and a singer who's done TV (meets the "cross-over" requirement).

So I'm liking the sporty Spaniard theory happygrl floated. While I've dug up some Hispanic boxers who are the right age and have ugly mugs, they don't otherwise fit the blind (no cross-over work, their acreers haven't suddenly blown up, their names aren't recognized outside of boxing, etc).

But perhaps I'm looking in the wrong place: perhaps it's someone Hispanic who played a sports figure in a movie or TV show? Since two thirds of our "Ain't"s are Spanish and sports-related, those wouldseem to be clues.

@white lorelei: "there are certain ways he smiles that are adorable": Yeah. Under a paper bag!

MissBliss said...

LOL. Michael Phelps is a hottie?! No, No, No, No, and a thousand times again NO! He is astoundingly unattractive (great body, but he doesnt walk around with his clothes off all the time so who cares?) and he seems like a sleazy asshole.

My first thought was Shia, but dont really know...and dont really care much about this one!

gillian said...

MP has a great body (which we saw in a constant state of undress because he swims!), phenomenal success and the 'rocky-esque' backstory- many an athlete has scored big time with a lot less assets:-)

I thought him straight away. Teds blind makes no entertainer (singer/actor) refs, and the clues given as said in above posts fit an athlete very well. He is the most famous athlete coming out of summer 08 (and there have been other successes, but Phelp's have really caught headlines) and everything post-Beijing is a crossover activity.

I read posts on ONTD from some colleagues at UM where he used to train- one of the girls said he passed on an std to her friend. sorry, this one is signed and sealed!

Bless him though- at least he pre-warns, despite knowing he could miss out.

BinkyM said...

Thanks to today's news, I found one which fits: Helio Castroneves. He won the Indianapolis 500 in both 2001 and 2002, the first since Al Unser in 1971. He *really* came to our attention when he won "Dancing with the Stars," which has a massive audience, and is a cross-over activity (unlike endorsement commercials, something most big athletes do), and he's Brazilian, which fits the "cojones" clue.

And he's pretty damned unattractive, though he has a terrific smile, unlike Michael Phelps, who's simply horrifying to look at (unless you put a bag over his head).

Leia said...

you guys. seriously.
it's michael cera.

BinkyM said...

@Leia: You've won me over, finally. I chewed on Michael Cera all night, but rejected him for (a) being painfully shy (assuming that would make him a virgin), (b) not passing my name recognition test (if my family members don't know the name, he's not big enough), and, (c) I simply don't think of actors going from TV to movies (or vice versa as "crossing over" because they're *still actors*. But let's look at how he DOES fit:

1. "He's been in the spotlight for years" (since 2003)
2. He's "a younger-type dude" (he's 20)
3. He has a "tight ass and adorable smile"
4. He has "newly minted megamoney and magnified status" from "Juno" and "Superbad"
5. He "isn't exactly a traditional knockout stud" (no kidding!)
6. The "cojones" reference: his name is Spanish (it means "wax")
7. He's so polite, it's as if he were raised by Emily Post. I can totally see him admitting to having herpes.

He's 20; Jesse McCartney is 21. Puts them in the same sandbox. I'm sold, and feel we can put this one to bed! (But not in the same one as Michael Cera, lest we catch herpes!)

Way to go to all the people who suggested Michael Cera (poor l'il fella!)

Miss X said...

Noooo!! Not Michael Cera. He's such a cute kid (and good actor).

Guess I can't be too upset since I'll never be his woman. It just makes me feel bad for him.

BinkyM said...

@miss x: Some of the best people in the world have herpes. One in four people in New York City carries the virus. It has nothing to do with your personality. Likewise, any other STD. It sucks; that's just how life is. (sigh)

Abigael said...

Michael Phelps, because of the "newly minted megamoney and magnified status" and by giving out the names of Cristiano Ronaldo and Roger Federer means it could be an athlete.

BinkyM said...

Michael Phelps doesn't fit the blind, as Finnegan Furrow-Brow is "starting to dabble in all kinds of crossover activities." All Phelps does is swim. Michael Cera, for example, has done TV and movies, and has directed, produced, and written, too. (Those are "cross-over activities.")

Other examples of "cross-over activities" would be someone who sings and has a clothing line and sells a perfume (JLo), or raps and produces and sells champagne (Puff Daddy).

Molly said...

binky, i thought of helio right away since a couple of hints pointed to him (i thought), but he's in his 30's so i think a different clue eliminates him.

BinkyM said...

Eeek! I found this in a Reuters news story today, and it's creepy! It's about "Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist":

---------------------------
Cera's character Nick, is not much different than Cera.

"He is kind of guileless. He doesn't seem like a jerk," Kat Dennings (Norah) told Reuters in a joint interview with Cera.

"He doesn't have lesions or active sores or something," Cera said.

"Not on his fingers," Dennings joked.
---------------------------