Thursday, October 02, 2008

Yeah, Criss Angel Would Be So Much Better


Did I miss the boat where it says that Criss Angel is a great catch and that women all over the globe are clamoring to be with him and think he will be the greatest dad in the world. If for some reason that boat exists, will someone please explain it to me. All I know is that he is creepy as hell, ugly, and his current wife hates him.

But, according to the blog Scandalist which is just a fancy name for MTV because they want to be able to trash celebrities without using the name MTV, the reason that Holly Madison and Hef are breaking up is because of the lack of a baby. Apparently it is not a matter of not wanting to impregnate Holly but an inability on one or both of the parties to actually make Holly pregnant.

According to Holly she wants to be with a guy who will marry her and give her lots of babies. So, who does she choose to hang around and look for to be that guy? Criss Angel. Come on. Oh, I'm sure he would go ahead and take a shot at impregnating her. I can't think of too many people that Criss Angel has turned down over the past couple of years which may help to explain the divorce he is currently wading through.

But whatever. Is Holly willing to be one of many? Well, I guess we know she is. I mean, Hef may not be sleeping with everyone, but he is getting a little something to help him sleep at night and I don't think it is all coming from Holly. So, Holly can look forward to a life of kids and a husband who will scare the crap out of her at night when he flies in on his broom after spending some quality time with another woman.

30 comments:

Kristen S. said...

Meh - they deserve each other. They both look smelly.

Molly said...

criss angel is the james blunt of the magic world.

califblondy said...

Hey, if this is what they both want, more power to 'em. Hef isn't going to marry Holly or have kids with her.

Don't hate, but I'm oddly attracted to Criss, I think it's the lisp and wondering what kind of magic he can make in the boudoir. We'd definitely have to rethink the wardrobe though.

southernbelle said...

I think he looks disgusting and he needs to shower. I always thought Holly had some brains in her head, guess I was wrong. What ever happened to waiting until the divorce is final before you hook up with someone else? At least don't throw it in your wife's face.

jax said...

I hear Summer's Eve just named him their new spokesperson.

kris said...

JAX!!!!! HIGHLARIOUS!!!!!!!!

califblondy said...

Southernbelle, Hef is still legally married too, so obviously that isn't a problem for Holly.

p m said...

Calif- I'm not sure I can ever read your comments the same way again... I'm not happy with you right now! Go take a long shower, with a strong soap and HOT water. Maybe you can help yourself before this gets worse.

mngddess said...

Jax, I almost had computer spew....

You know I just imaging them going to bed at night - him leaving a dirt and grease trail, and her sitting by the bed and taking her face and hair off and storing the fake boobs in a drawer.

Ah, love....

And califblondy, we can do an intervention if you like.... hee.

Molly said...

califblondy, be careful, he can make women disappear when he's done with them.

Quintessential Southerner said...

there was a picture of holly from her pre-playboy days. she was dressed quasi-goth and a bit quirky.

imho. i can see why holly likes him. she's no where near the marilyn monroe type.

Molly said...

speaking of making things disappear, whatever happened to the david coppafeel rape case?

califblondy said...

I've called HazMat, they're willing to take me in.

Sorry peeps, I knew I should have kept my weird interests to myself.

For another Criss confession, just yesterday I checked online for tickets to his new show at the Luxor.

Okay, I gotta go, the guys in the white paper suits are here to detox me.

Quintessential Southerner said...

califblondy,

never apologize for your love. you aren't crazy, girl.

just like i am not crazy because i love my keanu. ;)

Sylvia said...

lol@summer's eve.

Both look like idiots.

califblondy said...

I think it's a magic man thing. Years ago I used to think David Copperfield was handsome and David Blaine was interesting looking.

Grace said...

Women are attracted to the sexy-ugly guys, especially if they're famous. Mick Jagger is the most famous of them all.

jax, you are TOO FUNNY!! Having a good day, or making lemonade from lemons?

As for Holly, have her girls always been that huge????

slappywhyte said...

he is just cashing in his 15 months of fame to get as much high level p*ssy as he can -- most guys would

plus women love magicians no matter what they look like -- see David Blaine and all his model girlfriends

women love the unexplained magic brain connection mystical type stuff

slappy whyte
recently called a "sexist"
megasizzle.com

jax said...

sweetie not all women like that crap. most of us see right through that BS in a heartbeat. and i wouldn't go around calling Holly Madison high level pussy. she fucks an old dude for a living, that should at least bring her down to mid level whore.

sexist? possibly. do i care? no.
slappy's alright in my books.

jax said...

grace- lemonade doll!

littleoleme said...

This all strikes me as some major fake story just to keep all of their names out there. Holly gets to look like she's wanted and wholesome ("I just want to have babies), C.A. gets his name mentioned and H.H. gets to keep his reputation intact as now he can have new 19 year old girlfriends.

I don't think any of them are dating or tried to have kids. It's all a big scam but that's no real big surprise. It is, afterall, Hollywood.

Harriet Hellfire said...

What is her drink cup supposed to look like? Is it a coconut or a pot of "hunny"?

Just what caught my eye. *L*.


Oh and re: Criss Angel being the James Blunt of the magic world >>> *LOL*.

ms snarky said...

Enty, said boat does not exist.

he's creepy.

nunaurbiz said...

Enty, I also have NO CLUE what anyone sees in Criss Angel. I don't even like his *ahem* "magic."

I always liked Holly best of the GND, tho. If what she wants is cute babies, though, and she doesn't mind if the babydaddy doesn't hang around, then Holly, hon, why don't you go look up Kevin Federline? I hear all you have to do is go near the dude and you're impregnated!!!! But he does make cute babies....

Just a thought, Hol.

sarahcis said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
sarahcis said...

hmmm
I don't think Holly is interested in Criss Angel - I mean she is leaning away from him in the picture... and her left arm is stopping him from getting too close. I dunno maybe he just smells bad or something ....

sarahcis said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MonkeyHelperL said...

Hmm... I always assumed he was gay as a kumquat. Still do actually...

DetroitRocker said...

I read somewhere that Hef has to cut some employee's because he is having money problems. May even have to sell the chicken farm. I wonder if there is more to this story. At his age is he going laxed in the brain?

Maybe the family is putting the stops to all the hang me on. Just seems to me that two of his so called girl friends look to be making the moves on other men. I wouldn't be shocked to find that he may have a health problem, if you know what I mean. They have even talked about cutting the parties in the house. I think this is something to keep a eye on.

But come on Chris Angel. Holly is really scraping the bottom of the barrel, or she is getting paid to stand next to him. You don't think she gives it away for free. She isn't doing anything unless there is $$$$$$$$$$$$ involved.

She is getting paid to screw a guy that looks like he could be her great grandfather right.

jennamaria said...

so is hef the answer to that ted c blind a few days ago? you know 'mr metered'?