Wednesday, April 01, 2009

I Love Gwyneth Paltrow


I know that you are reading the headline and thinking that I have lost my mind. I haven't lost it all. I just love celebrities who consistently just do things or say things which are totally unrelated to anything that occurs in the real world or relevant.

Gwyneth Paltrow, in addition to all the other ways she is trying to convince you that she is normal and an "everyday person" has now decided to publish a travel guide to London. This being Gwyneth it won't be an ordinary run of the mill guide to London. It seems that Gwyneth is besieged by her friends for information on London all of the time, and so Gwyneth, bring uniquely qualified to give advice on all things London has decided to give you a taste of her London.

"Many of my friends, or friends of friends, have asked me for 'my London'." Gwyneth feels that her London is the London all of you should see as well, and if you don't see her London than, you are just not doing it right. Her London consists of you spending $1,000 a night on hotels. Michelin starred restaurants and the places where she shops for clothes. Uh huh. Yep, "everyday people" will just be clamoring for that. To make herself seem normal, Gwyneth offers a pub suggestion but you get the feeling she has never been in one before and if offered Shepherd's Pie would check to make sure it didn't have chocolate in it.

I just get the feeling that Gwyneth has no concept of reality. For too long she has lived in a world where price doesn't matter and everyone says yes to her and so she has become convinced that is how life really is. I don't think she goes grocery shopping and I bet if you put her on The Price Is Right or asked her to name the price of 20 items from a grocery store she wouldn't come close. At the same time though, she is convinced that she can be Oprah or Rachel Ray and that we all want to be a Gwyneth follower. I don't.

25 comments:

DNfromMN said...

Honestly I think it would be kind of cool for it to be a series of what stars's favorite things to do in their 'neighborhoods'. Kind of like that The Room thing you did last weekend. Never heard of it before.

However, Gwyneth is someone I don't like as an actress (except for Sliding Doors) or really as a person, so I doubt I'd read this. I think as a magazine feature it'd be cool, as a book, too self-indulgent.

AnnMarie said...

I'm sure she loves her daughter very much, but in her quietest moments of self-reflections, does Blythe Danner think to herself "Man aLIVE, we raised a world-class snob?"

Bodie said...

Gwyneth is like a female version of that guy on 30 Rock that Liz Lemon was dating. You know, the one who lived in the "bubble" where everyone told him he was great at everything when in reality he sucked at everything?

Impertinent Vixen said...

Ugh! I wish this delusional whore would evaporate! Your husband is lame, your children have funny names, and you are not as super fantastic as you think you are!

KellyLynn said...

A travel guide from Gwynneth will be just like that On The Road Again thing on PBS. Some pretty pictures, maybe, but oh so pointless.

I watched a few minutes of a few episodes of that freak show (I'm on antenna TV - sometimes there's nothing else on). Every time, I would get embarrassed for nearly everyone in the set, as they suffered scene after scene of awkward conversations.

But, maybe someone out there liked it...

califblondy said...

Is it just the picture or is that a goop spot on her dress? Haha.

I'd kill for those shoes, otherwise she means nothing to me.

warmislandsun said...

Spain, On the Road Again, would have been so much better without her. Mario Batali was so far up her bum that it must be permanently orange by now. I like a good travel/food show. The best parts of the show were when GP wasn't around. Claudia, the Spainsh actress in the show, was great and much more authentic. That is how they should continue the show - celebrity chef + native to that country celebrities.

not on my dollar said...

I find her to be a boring actress and certainly unworthy of the imaginary pedestal that she's built for herself.

Syd said...

I have resisted the Gwyneth hate until now. This is just too much.

She really is a cunt, isn't she?

Sylvia said...

I can't stand her with her attitude and rude comments. She thinks she is miss know-it-all. If she is this Delusional than that is how she is about her marriage.

West End Girl said...

She can sod right off. Any idiot can good expensive+london in Google and hit the same places she'd recommend.

True tips about London are from those of us who don't live in cloud cuckoo land and spend in excess of £1000 on a hotel trip.

What a dumb whore.

West End Girl said...

*enter not good

jax said...

i watched one episode of her Spain show and almost gagged. she seemed to be totally annoyed with amrio the whole time and he was so into her it was gross. he was acting like anewlywed on their honeymoon!

awk-ward!

lutefisk said...

It would have helped her cause more if she was actually British.
She is just plain annoying.

Grace said...

Thank you, West End Girl -- I was wondering what Londoners were thinking of Gwyneth's guide to London!

It would be the equivalent of her coming to my town a few times and making a guide of it -- the 'expert.'

Jungle007 said...

Ummmm.. so??? So mmany celebs do this kind of crap all the tme. It is always pretentious, but that is practically the definition of "celebrity".

I don't care about Gwyneth one way or the other. She doesn't bother me personally. My day has never been ruined or made better by Gwyneth Paltrow and I've never in my life had a real conversation with anyone about her.

I just don't care. No one will buy her book who doesn't want to know her opinion, just like the other hundreds of celebs who write books about themselves and what they think about this or that... so what's the big fuss?

David D. said...

"I just get the feeling that Gwyneth has no concept of reality."

I think the pink satin goiter pretty much confirms that.

AnonMom said...

I've never, ever understood her appeal as an actress. Paying for good PR can buy a lot of things, I guess.

City Councilman Doug said...

Yeah, but Brad still dumped her.

Repeat this to yourself when you feel the bile tickle the back of your tongue when reading these entries from Enty. (oooh band name!)

Brad still dumped her, which makes her no better than Maniston. None.

City Councilman Doug said...

And at least Jen smokes. She probably bogarts the hell out of it and hands you a cashed bowl, but at least she attempts to chill the fuck out.

ureallyannoyme said...

Every night before I go to sleep I say a little prayer thanking God for Gwyneth.

Snort.

Sporky said...

Fishsticks, SIT DOWN

palealebrew10 said...

Chace Crawford looks like an even more feminine Zac Efron. I was throwing out old tabloids/magazines the other day and came across an US weekly blurb where Heidi Montag claims she made out with him at a club once. Maybe he was drunk and mistook her for a dude.

ardleigh said...

I've never really liked Gwynie. Her sense of entitlement is annoying. I would never buy the book. I would even question just where she would send you when she dresses in the ugly frock with a goiter on it's neck. Yuck.

ahdaboom said...

still thinking of the "i'd rather die than let my child eat cup of noodles" comment that gwenie made to a film crew member who had brought the item for his own child. doe her london include a barf bag for the reader?