Friday, May 20, 2011

Ted C Blind Item

We've filled you in on lots of the gross-out goss that goes on behind Vice stars' closed doors, and now one of the stinkiest celebs has finally caught a whiff of his own dirty laundry.

We're sure you can guess who, too...

Super-Duper Cooper, the superstar who likes his nookie with a side of No. 2!

And when SDC caught wind that we were blabbing about his penchant for poo, he wasn't too pleased:

'Cause the dude's going out of his way to make sure hotel insiders don't snitch to us again!

See, Coop was set to make his return to Sin City—and his smelly sexcapades, we're sure—but didn't want to leave a tell-all trail this time.

So like any good celeb worth their A-list status, he had his people take care of it.

We're advised that Coop's assistant called up every million-dollar, high-rise hotel the star has stayed in, including the hotel our partic chatty friend works at, and had a conversation that goes a little something like this:

"Hello! Hope you've been well! How are the kids? Blah blah blah, by the way, have you heard any rumors about Super-Duper Cooper lately?"

Our mischievous source, of course says, "No, why?" And that's when Coop's pal gets sassy, saying:

"Oh, there's just an old gossip columnists who's out to get Coop. They don't understand him because Coop is irreverent."

And when our in-the-know worker said that didn't keep up with the goss, Coop's fellow booked a room on the spot.

Hm, wonder if he'll be sure to clean up after himself this time.

Listen up, Coop, as long as you keep being so careless with your feces fun, I'll be sure to blab it. We can both be irreverent in that way, huh? But thanks for reading the blolumn!

(And for the record, you've kissed women my age and sure seemed to get off on it, dude.)

And It Ain't: Alexander SkarsgÄrd, Charlie Sheen, Kevin Jonas

26 comments:

mngddess said...

How the heck is Kevin Jonas a superstar? Come on, Ted!

crila16 said...

Are you kidding me? Everyone knows Super Duper Cooper is John Mayer.

bluebonnetmom said...

I would LOVE this to be John Mayer!

MCH said...

I hope this blind starts another long thread on poop sex again. Because that was really appetizing.

MadLyb said...

What the hell? Why oh why? I will never get the poo/sex thing. NEVER.

MadLyb said...

Oh, and this is John Mayer. Duh? :)

The Black Cat said...

these are the type of posts I live for LOL

selenakyle said...

Jeez, nothin' a little fresh water enema won't take care of beforehand, for chrissakes!

Anal CAN be nice & clean if you do it right. And enjoyable for everyone.

This guy is just a nasty freak.

Rose said...

Selena, the things about SDC is they don't like it clean. So gross.

Bubbles said...

It goes beyond not liking it clean. This has nothing to do with anal. This is someone who gets off either crapping on people or being crapped on. Anal sex has nothing to do with this.

hunter said...

"He's 'irreverent'"? Doesn't that take the cake! How about unhygenic and disgusting? Oh, I guess the hapless hotel maids who have to clean up after him just aren't sophisticated enough to grasp his "irreverent" sense of humor.

He (Mayer) is a classic, textbook narcissist. Fame and fortune may be the bandaid, but there ain't no cure.

rtsew said...

Wonder what Giada thought about it? Can't watch her show without getting and image of the nasty happening. Gross.

Ms Cool said...

@rtsew - just came on to comment about Giada. I wonder if Mayer craps on her, too (or vice versa).

Jamee said...

Yeah, this has nothing to do with anal sex. It's not about stuff going up there, it's about stuff coming out. Read the other Super Duper Cooper blinds and there's just now way this can't be Mayer....ick. I saw a Jerry Springer about "poop sex" before (seriously, what do you call that?), and I'm still scarred.

Angie said...

this is John Mayer

bflogurl said...

Aren't they called SCAT lovers or something like that?

Mayer FTW.

selenakyle said...

GD! That's up there with the small animal-crushing stuff. Eh, sickos...fuck 'em all.

*pre-mixing a batch of Rapture Punch*

Jeri said...

Sheen will get off on hearing he's a superstar. Thanks ted.

Ida Blankenship said...

@selena, I'd rather a dude shit his own sheets than get off on women crushing small animals with shoes. Maybe that's just me, but the crushing thing is a whole other category of fuckedupitude.

Also, may I please have a sip of your punch? I hope it's purple.

Jasmine said...

Women crush small animals with their shoes as a mode of sexual gratification????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH MY FUCKING GOD

I've never heard of that but I second Ida in taking the lessor of two evils- shit sex- over that.

I know ppl who do the whole scat thing but killing animals for sexual satisfaction would make me never talk to that person again. gross

Little Miss Smoke and Mirrors said...

it IS Mayer, no doubt about it.

The Black Cat said...

Well, if it isn't John Mayer I guess it may as well be now LOL

Wil said...

Okay don't know and don't care .. I am just pissed this lunatic dared mention Alexander and that Meth-head/Crack Addict in the same breath!

Robert said...

Lars von Trier? His Nazi comments could reveal an affinity for an activity I've heard Adolf Hitler was into...

Sis said...

Ewwww...but I am soooo tempted to Google the "scat chasers". It probably is JM, but I also thought of Ryan Seacrest because of the "older woman" kiss, etc.

The person with the killing of animals should be outed, no more support for that person whoever it is, I am totally digusted, those poor animals!

lunabelle said...

Every person in the nots has a famous relative. I don't think it is Mayer.