Saturday, June 29, 2013

Blind Item #1

This former A list "singer," who later became a reality star and punchline to drinking jokes was at a party last week when she got a little drunk and decided to try and do some twerking. She is aging and not as blessed with the dance moves she once was so then went to a strip tease, but she had so many layers of Spanx and things bound together to keep from splitting that it became laughable at how long it was taking her.

45 comments:

MrWolf said...

Jessica Simpson?

Carrie said...

Paula Abdul?

Grace said...

Paula Abdul

Renoblondee said...

I thought Christina till I saw the "singer" part. She's a real singer. I like the Paula guess!

Veech said...

Nah. Jessica Simpson would be considered a celebrity because of her successful fashion line. Plus, she's still pregnant, and I think people would be more outraged by her being wasted while knocked up than her Spanx.

HannahBanana said...

Hmmmm someone who has gained weight, cuz u don't wear that much spans when ur skinny, sooo I got nothing.

Sounds like ashlee, but shes awful thin.

Veech said...

I like the Paula guess!! Wasn't she some kind of dancer before she was a singer?

AnonyMousE said...

Thought for sure it was Christina, but Paula Abdul makes sense with the 'aging and not as blessed with the dance moves' comment.

HannahBanana said...

Yea, she danced/choreographed for the Lakers. And Janet Jackson's videos for a bit in the 80's. This would be hilarious if her.

Anotheramy said...

I read this as xtina but shes got pipes like no ones business

msgirl said...

I feel so old - Paula was most definitely know as a dancer in the late 80s, and quite good too. I did a photo shoot with herfor MTV, and she's actually very nice, or was back then.

greenmountaingal said...

Forever Your Girl was one of my favorite tapes back in the day. Paula used to be the shit. Glad to know that she's a nice person.

Count Jerkula said...

Absolutely Paula. She was prolly all pilled up.

HannahBanana said...

Yep, Carrie got it! Paula twerking...bahahaha!

Its just U said...

Aww, poor Paula. We've all done it. In our head we think we dance like we're 19, but reality (and digital cameras) show us the stark reality next morning.
Or maybe that's just me....

HannahBanana said...

But, would u hit it?!

Me said...

Hahaha! Must have been hilarious. Sounds like a Bridget Jones moment.

Secondbecky said...

Spellbound was my jam!

Basil said...

If this is Paula, why would singer be in quotes? She did actually sing, right? Oh! Maybe Paula is MV??? Ha ha.

Mari said...

If you've drunk enough that you start to hallucinate MC Skat Kat, it's not unreasonable that this is your next step!
Paula for sure.

Anna Nonymous said...

It's Paula Abdul for sure! " Singer" she wasn't really known as a singer, more a dancer, reality star, A.I, drinking jokes, yeah that fits. And plus she keeps trying to be hip, use "cool" lingo, and always falls flat on her face doing it, and she is aging, plus since she was a dancer and choreographer I can see her thinking that she could definitely twerk, and give it a lot of effort. Paula definitely.

JoElla said...

Is it mean that I want this to be Jlo?!

Anna Nonymous said...

No that's not mean JoElla! It's hilarious! I'd love to hear about JLo doing this!

But seriously, Paula's on alot of heavy heavy narcotic pain meds for her dance injuries I think? Some kind of accident? I've heard her talk about the fentanyl patch. So her mixing booze with those kinds of pills is exceedingly dangerous.

nudibelle said...

Definitely Paula

Count Jerkula said...

@Anna: Yeah and Jeff Conaway needed constant back surgeries to correct something, not to have a constant source of meds.

MadamChef said...

Straight Up! :-b I had wine with RX pain meds once, it can totally make drunk dancing and stripping seem like The Best Idea Ever. The hangover is awful though, never again. How do you go from twerking (which looks to me like someone having a seizure) to stripping?

Jason Blue Eyes said...

Jenny from da block?

L said...

yup I think it's Abdul.. shame though.. I would pay for it to be JLO!!

Sherry said...

Nope JustU..it's all of us beyond a certain age. Another reason why we lose interest in hitting bars and late night parties. The embarrassment factor of waking up the next day and realizing what an ass you've made of yourself becomes too profound.

Its just U said...

@Sherry Haha, I haven't lost the interest yet, just the ability. I can still be found shaking it on tables every now and again. ;-)

Moonmaid said...

Definitely Paula - yes, it was her voice on her recordings, but so auto-tuned and multi-tracked, it didn't really matter whether she could sing well or not. And she couldn't, but she was a really good dancer and choreographer. This is sad, with the spanx stuff.

Oopsy_Daisy said...

Spanx is a godsend

discoflux said...

She also choreographed the tribal wedding dance scene in Coming to America. Paula has some serious dance talent. Unfortunately, Paula is probably to her crew what froggygurl is to ours. Except Paula Abdul can probably pay her vet bills.

discoflux said...

I miss the days when we dust have cameras around us all the time. Those were the days when you could get black out drunk and really not have to look at it. You could just live a life of ignorant bliss, thinking your friends were exaggerating to mess with you.

Now, you are faced with you climbing on the bar and dancing with two chicks younger and hotter than you and your gut is hanging out because you've hit that point in the night where you've forgotten to keep sucking it in and the cute "winky face" you made at the camera looks more like Bell's Palsy.

I am NOT speaking from experience.

discoflux said...

Dust =didn't

Scallywag said...

Paula's birthday was last week, could explain the partying.

BondGirl said...

Paula Abdul was in a helicopter accident in the 90's. She's been on painkillers for back pain ever since.

And she is nice. Was very sweet way back then...

Count Jerkula said...

If she has been addicted to pain killers for 20 years and boozing it up, what's the over under for her liver to quit? Does she use a fanny pack to carry her gimmicks or does she have a drug mule, like th Heartbreak Kid used to have?

Aldo Montoua told a great story about nutsacking an 8ball for Sean Michaels when they were goin to Kuwait for a wrestling show.

PugsterMom said...

Paula was my immediate guess. I feel bad for her. She seems so sweet and I loved her in Idol. I don't watch it anymore. Saw one episode this season and couldn't tolerate Nikki Minaj.

Fluffy White Clouds said...

F k getting old sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!�� Poor Paula!

Aoife said...

Sadly I think this is Paula Abdul.

Surrender Dorothy said...

Omg disco your comment made me laugh so hard! Thank you!

Anothergrayhare said...

disco hit it on the head. man, it sucks to get old but I'm fighting it every screaming step of the way..... the Bell's palsy comment made me snort my tea.....

Snapdragon said...

@Me
Hahaha! Must have been hilarious. Sounds like a Bridget Jones moment.

BWAHAHAHA!
Can't liiiiiive... if livin' is without yoooooou
Can't liiiiiiiive... can't live anymorrrrre!

di butler said...

Forever Your Girl! PA was the shizz in the 90s.