Thursday, December 04, 2008

"I've Never Posed Topless" - Safe For Work (Barely) - No Pun Intended)

Apparently when Michael Phelps new girlfriend went home for Thanksgiving, things were not that great. I don't know if you had a chance to see some of the modeling photos she did for Pimps&Ho's, but I guess the Phelps family didn't really think that much of it.

Now, Caz, as her friends like to call her has said that despite the evidence to the contrary that she has never posed topless. Apparently she has some kind of bizarre definition of what constitutes topless. She says you have to be able to see both breasts full on for it to be considered topless. Uh huh. Yeah, I'll remember that. I wonder how she defines sexual relations.

She also says that she is actually very conservative. Who is she kidding? Before working at the Palms she worked at a strip club in LA for like three years using the name Sapphire. Yeah, she is real conservative all right. In an interview with Norm Clarke who is the best gossip reporter around, she wouldn't actually admit yet that Michael has dumped her, but she also didn't do the whole we're together thing either.

21 comments:

Anonymous said...
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palealebrew10 said...

Her tattoo is hideous. Can you imagine that thing when she's 60? My god.

Anonymous said...

She sounds like she took lessons from Clinton hahaha. I did not have sex LOL.

Sapphire sounds like a hookers name to me.

Regarding those pictures as far as I see it she is topless. Who is she kidding?

jlb said...

Wow does she sound classy. What every mother dreams her son brings home.

Cheryl said...

If you are not wearing a top, you are topless.

ElsieFire said...

Michael, darling. Some woman find big ears useful, so you don't need to go to professionals to get your jollys.

You have lots of money now, dear, at the very least, find a pro who isn't so trashy.

Love,

Auntie ElsieFire

vitazza said...

Hey I'm from Bmore and we know conservative!!! This Trixy is not good enough for our lil Michael hahah I know Mama Phelps nearly passed out at dinner!!!
Hey Emma you here tday?

Anonymous said...

LOL#Elsie

lmnop123 said...

Ah.... she came from the same cess pool that George Clooney's ex Sarah Larson slinked from.

Seachica said...

Phelps is still so innocent. Honey, there are the ones you fuck, and the ones you bring home to mama. Sounds like mama taught you a new lesson this holiday.

Anonymous said...

I think if you see nipple, that's topless.

Molly said...

dn, you can't see her nipple and it still looks topless to me.

i think topless means....no top. yeah, brilliant, i know.

Carte Blanche said...

Bwa Ha Ha
His mom must have freaked!
What has her little boy turned into this fall?

stiffkittens said...

When you need a star to cover a nipple up, then yes its topless.

We haven't got a number for the amount of people she's slept with yet, but we now know she's officially a lying moron. Dolphin boy deserves/deserved more (despite that 'slow' face of his).
BTW did he pay her by the hour? Why such a sudden break-up when they did the (what is usually a serious step) parent thing? Oh, wait - was the parental meeting the nail in the coffin?

lutefisk said...

no top = topless.
I suppose she doesn't really consider that a tattoo, either.

Emma31 said...

VITAZZA, I'm here!!!

Oh Michael, you know mamma's not going to approve!! That girl is only with you for for your money.

Oh you know that Debbie about shit herself when she met her. I bet his sisters loved her too. That girl won't last long if "D" has anything to do with it.

Goodgrief said...

Hopefully he has learned a big lesson. She is the kind of girl you pay by the hour not take home to meet mom. Hopefully he knows enough to wrap it. Not just for the std's she probably has,but you really don't want her to be the mother of your baby. No top on = topless, I don't care how well placed your hands are.

Geebz said...

Klassy!

KellyLynn said...

I'm guessing Michael Phelps just hadn't gotten laid much before the Olympics. He seems to be making all of the same mistakes that newly deflowered men make. Hopefully, he'll learn.

c17 said...

*sigh* Yeah, she's really classy.

I pity Michael's parents - all the skanks they're going to have to meet over the next few years. At least until his prize/endorsement money runs out.

classalpha said...

... gaccck... an'OTHER' *ghastly-tattooed/skunk-haired 'Ho w/ fake t!ts whom* I wouldn't "touch" w/ Dustin Diamond's d!ck. Tom Leykis was right when he said that *strippers* are 'JUST' *hooker$ who* don't "put out"... and I agree.

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