Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Kneepads Oh Kneepads


For those of you who have been reading the site for a long time, you know my feelings about the magazine known as People. I refer to it as Kneepads because there is no publicist or celebrity they will not suck up to for a chance at an exclusive interview and cover later. Apparently they went through a bunch of sets of Kneepads because Jennifer Lopez has been named the world's most beautiful woman. Seriously? Kneepads must want something. The only reason this would make sense is that they think Jenifer might have another baby or something and want the exclusive on the pictures. There can be no other explanation. If I asked you right now, who the most beautiful woman in the world is, Jennifer Lopez would probably not enter your first 100 thoughts. This has always been a publicist award. Apparently Jennifer has a great publicist because you and I and everyone else who looks at this cover know she is not the world's most beautiful woman.

44 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think she's incredibly beautiful. She's had work done but so has the rest of them. Trick is, she's had good work done.

RocketQueen said...

On the one hand, I'm glad they've chosen someone over 40. On the other hand, fuck JLo and the American Idol horse she unfortunately rode back in on.

mngddess said...

I read my aunts' old People magazines, and I was going through the movie reviews. All the movies had 3 stars. Talk about kneepads!

parissucksliterally said...

I would love for People to show a "before plastic surgery" pictorial for all their "naturally beautiful" people.

J Lo has had so much work done it is ridiculous. But she has a great doctor!

Ida Blankenship said...

If this cover were accurate, Cate Blanchett or Gong Li would be on it. Or Justin Bieber. Or all three of them at once.

We all know that Most Beautiful or Sexiest lists are all a crock of shit. It's really all about whose publicists hustle hardest and kiss ass to the right people.

Patty said...

To be honest, she would be in my first 100 thoughts. She also has a lot of people on the payroll to make sure she looks good.

I hate to say it, but I find myself liking her new song. Even though, according to Roger Friedman, she stole most of it from another singer who is not big in the US.

Kate said...

Is it that People wants something from her or did her team of people just pay them enough for her to have that honor?

looserdude said...

The idea of identifying anyone as the "World's Most Beautiful Woman!" is too absurd for words.

bluebonnetmom said...

My first thought was WTF? Are you kidding me? No way is she most beautiful! LMAO....

Ellen said...

At least she's not doing her signature pose of half-open mouth / "get away from me" eyes. She actually looks approachable here, but I'm dreaming, right?

pegd said...

Agreed RocketQueen!

FS said...

Most beautiful photoshopping maybe.

Off the top of my head, the most beautiful picture of a woman that I've seen in the last year was Miranda Kerr in bed with her baby. That was awesome.

reticulation said...

I definitely think she's pretty and she's likable on American Idol. But if there's a Kneepads moment, does anyone think that it's a divorce? Remember the blind item a while back about someone on a photo shoot where the husband/boyfriend came and raised hell about how ugly he thought the girl looked? Maybe that's them.

Gabby said...

ugh. I usually buy this issue every year but I will not this year, and the reason is JLo on the cover!! I hate her and her terrible personality and no talent. At least people realize that the "Most Beautiful People" issue is purely publicists pushing for their celebrities, not an actual ranking of who is the most attractive celebrity.

Pookie said...

i humbly bow before the asshat that is benny medina, her mgr, and the favors he called in to pull this off. brilliant, benny, most brilliant...landing the most 'important' tab in the most important market.

don't be fooled, enty. he is her media puppet-master, not her pr firm, and he rules w/ an iron fist. not to be taken lightly, as anyone who's ever been on his bad side can attest (side-eye to ricky martin and the stories he can tell).

i like marc's peeps so much more.

crila16 said...

Not even close. CZJ blows J-Lo out of the water, even with her bi-polar condition. JLo isn't ugly...she's ok and can sometimes look attractive...but she's no Angelina Jolie either.

MCH said...

I don't know about the most beautiful but she looks good (good docs???).

I disagree more so with RR being included in a list of fabulous faces.

Nate F. said...

Sham! Frieda Pinto is the most beautiful woman in the world.

Why isn't she on the cover of People?

Because Fox didn't pay for her to be on it like the did Jennifer.

Goodgrief said...

That is a lovely picture......too bad it looks nothing like her.

Anonymous said...

Pookie, I though Medina wasn't working with her anymore?

I have always considered Jlo pretty/attractive not exactly beautiful.

Elizabeth said...

She looks good - better than many that are considered "beautiful". I see Mila Kunis and Ryan Reynolds, I think they are both more attractive than JLo. Her husband burns my eyes.

nancer said...

my opinion is tainted by the fact that i don't like her. she's pretty---and she's paid for her face---but most beautiful? uh...no.

what's next? her ass gets 'time' person of the year?

white lorelei said...

wow. I'm outnumbered again.

I think she's beautiful.

Ms Cool said...

She looks like a fish! She was beautiful at one time but is too pulled. Plus I can't stand her. Is she MV?

Lori said...

i think she's beautiful, just not in this picture. Her eyebrows look like they are gonna start crawling...

lutefisk said...

I really wish they would pick someone naturally beautiful, not someone who has spent the last 20 years working on changing her looks.

http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/jlo.htm

There are so many more beautiful celebrities that could have been chosen.

MontanaMarriott said...

Fuck how she got there, I am just glad to finally have a LATINA on the cover of an American publication. And yeah Jlo has had plenty of work done, sucked her way to the top but WHO HASN'T IN THIS INDUSTRY?!?!

Ida Blankenship said...

@Montana -- Emmylou Harris? Lena Horne? If those women *have* had work done, then point me towards their surgeons once I hit sixty, because they each look a hundred times better right now than J-Lo ever has.

I get your point about Latinas -- and I honestly would have chosen Sofia Vergara OR Salma Hayek over J-Lo! Any. Damn. Day.

RocketQueen said...

Oh Salma Hayek! I couldn't stop STARING at her face in "Grown Ups" (AWFUL movie, by the way). She looks frigging INCREDIBLE for what - mid-40s? She looks to be in her 20s!!

Krissie said...

I stopped taking this "Most Beautiful" shit seriously a long time ago. They will put anyone in this issue for the right price. They put Rumer Willis in it one year. The only way she'd be one of the 100 most beautiful people would be if there were only 100 people left on the planet. This is PR from beginning to end.

For the record, I do think J.Lo is pretty, although judging from gossip over the years, she is thoroughly ugly on the inside.

AK said...

This cover story is a perfect example of why I quit the PR industry.

@Ida amen re: Sofia Vergara. She is stunningly beautiful (and my girl crush).

Mooshki said...

Ida, Gong Li is my pic for "most beautiful" too. I've gotta say though, I don't think this is that off-base. Watching her on Idol, she has looked stunningly beautiful lately.

RenoBlondee said...

I think she is very beautiful, so I guess I'm in the minority here too.

Robert said...

@Krissie: You forgot to add (regarding Rumer) she'd be the most beautiful only if the other 99 people on the planet were men!

Netta said...

I have to add my voice to the minority. I think she's very beautiful, too. Let's just say I'd have no problem trading faces or bodies with her. Heh.

Anonymous said...

I love the Get Right remix video because she looks so fantastic in it. I would maybe consider peeking at american idol if she was a total diva on it. I'm not interested in seeing her personable.

Mango said...

I think she's attractive but hardly the most beautiful woman in the world, or even Hollywood. Angelina Joie, Catherine Zeta Jones, Shakira, Charlize Theron, Sofia Vergara, Mila Kunis, Aishwarya Rai, Gong Li, Emmanuelle Beart, etc, all far more beautiful that JLo.

Angelina might be a kooky, kid collecting drug addict but to put JLo on that cover instead of her is ridiculous.

MadLyb said...

I don't think she's the most beautiful woman in the world, but neither is Angelina Jolie, IMO. That being said, I wouldn't mind even remotely resembling either of them.

I guess we're all different, but to me the most beautiful woman in the world would probably have red hair, freckles and look stunning without makeup like Cate Blanchett, Julianna Moore or Tilda Swinton. Or even someone like a young Ali McGraw. Those women know how to carry themselves and they have character to match their natural beauty.

JLo is very gorgeous, though - prettier than most celebs, so why not? She glows in almost every pic (in a good way). And she's definitely a plastic surgery 'do'.

lisap515 said...

LMAO @Robert. So agree.

Tea Lady said...

So, um, enty, do you know she's not the most beautiful because you've been in the same lawyer conference room with her discussing, say, some recordings that were made by another female singer and released using her name?

Just asking..... ;-)

RocketQueen said...

lol Tea Lady :)

Anonymous said...

It's the times folks. We are scraping bottom.
We are at the BOTTOM OF THE BARREL.

Laura said...

I think Jennifer is beautiful too. But so are so many women, which is why they are famous. I think the award goes to the highest bidder.

MovieJunkie said...

I agree. I would pick Adrianna Lima for the win!

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