Thursday, June 21, 2012

Your Turn

So, what would you like written on your tombstone? I would like. "He came, he ate, and he ate some more." Oh and a photo of bacon on it too. I also want a big party. Nothing somber. I want people to have a really good time. Like a three day Vegas weekend good time that takes you a month to recover from.

77 comments:

cheesegrater15 said...

I told my sister that when I die, I want my heart removed and cremated. Then I want to be buried in my hometown with the words "This town can have my body, but it will never have my heart." I want my heart's ashes scattered at the lighthouse in York, Maine, since that was the first lighthouse I ever saw.

Karen said...

@Vicki, that's awesome!

Merlin D. Bear said...

I won't have a tombstone since my plans are to be cremated and my ashes spread at sea.
However, those plans also call for a huge ass party to celebrate my life - I've told everyone these plans and have them in my will.
I half jokingly call it a "roast me and toast me" farewell.

goheels83 said...

I'm with you Enty, I don't want a funeral either. I want people to have a huge party and talk about all of the fun times we had together.

Ii'm an organ donor so I guess I'll be sliced and diced once I'm dead. Won't matter to me much then. I won't need my body where I'm going.

cheesegrater15 said...

I want to leave 'em laughing. I'll have a Weird Al singalong and hopefully a montage of my favorite MST3K clips. Then, of course, as the casket is being lowered Oingo Boingo's "Goodbye Goodbye" will be blasting.

Liv said...

"I told you I was sick."

Patty said...

LOL, Liv!!

Barton Fink said...

I'm gonna be cremated and tilled into the soil somewhere, so no tombstone. But if I could, it would be Laurie Anderson's: "remember me/is all i ask/and if remember/be a task/ forget me"

Barton Fink said...

This is a crematin' crowd, I should add.

Maja With a J said...

*LOL* @ Live - that was my first thought as well. But it's more funny if you're a hypochondriac, which I am not *L*.

I really don't know what I'd put on there. Maybe a dick joke?

StanleyRoper said...

@Vicki Cupper-Your plans, all of them, are brilliant. Kudos.

Frufra said...

Ooh, Vicki, that's good. I've never thought about the tombstone part, and actually don't care if I even have one. I've told hubby that I will come back and haunt him if he spends a lot of money for a funeral for me. That whole deal is a racket designed to get money out of families while they're grieving.

Truly respectful, sensible funeral services are few and far between. Ever bought a casket? Bring your checkbook - $10,000 is not out of the question. Then they pour a cement vault that they lower the casket into, and seal the top. Why? I get environmental concerns, as in we don't want coffins floating around during a flood, or animals digging people up. But, seriously, attempting to preserve the body won't make you less dead or keep you from eventually disintegrating.

Soapbox topic for me - pine box all the way! I won't even start with embalming.

cheesegrater15 said...

Maja, that's an actual inscription of a woman that was famous for being a hypochondriac. lol

Thanks, Stanley. :)

Frufra said...

Oh, and cremation is fine by me, too. Whatever. Love me while I'm alive and remember me when I'm gone. Very simple!

Green Wave Gal said...

Maja-That's awesome. Love it!

VIPblonde said...

I'd paraphrase Ab Fab: "Here lies Eddy. Still no thinner"

AKM said...

Cremation. A memorial service that's as simple as possible. Donations to my favorite charities in lieu of flowers. "In My Life" by the Beatles, "Lovely Cruise" by Jimmy Buffett, and "Just a Closer Walk With Thee" by Patsy Cline to be played. It'd be cool for my immediate family to go to one of my favorite restaurants afterwards, and make a toast in my name with Jack Daniel's. Anything else, my family can decide as they prefer.

MontanaMarriott said...

I'm with you Enty, I do not nooo sadness, gloom, or tears at mine. I want a big ass blow out with my friends and family celebrating the life I lived.

EmEyeKay said...

I've honestly never thought much about this. I think I have a plot near my hometown that my mom bought when she found out the cemetery was almost full. It's beautiful there.

nolachickee said...

I want to be cremated and have my ashes spread in the waters of Key West. That is one of the most peaceful places I've visited alive, and I'd like to have peace when I'm dead.

dollface said...

" Over my Dead Body "

Just to get a couple a smiles

califblondy said...

I used to want "Well, this certainly sucks" or "She had fun" on a tombstone, but now days I'm leaning towards the fire pit too. It's too much money and for what? A fancy casket? BFD. Why should I care about any services, I'll be dead.

The family should spend the money on more important things, like a party.

I'd love for my ashes to be thrown off the Empire State Building, but I guess that won't work. Or maybe the Stratosphere? Blowing dirt might shouldn't be as noticeable in the desert. My gang will go to Vegas for ANY excuse.

califblondy said...

And any music has to be disco!

SusanB said...

Also want to be cremated, but want my ashes buried, preferably under a tree. I will have a funeral Mass.

I loved that line from Death at a Funeral where Luke Wilson says something to the effect of "When I die I want the stock market to crash and factories to close..." - just cracked me up.

cheesegrater15 said...

Calif, "Last Dance" has to be required.

Lurky Loo said...

I am with the "shake and bake" crowd. Or, perhaps more correctly, "bake and shake" ;>. My hope would be that I made a difference for the better in the lives of the people I knew.

rhinovodka said...

I used to work at a mortuary, so cremation for me. I don't want a service or tombstone. My ashes can go under a nice tree in the forest.

Goober said...

Love this epitaph by H.L. Mencken:
If, after I depart this vale, you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost, forgive some sinner and wink your eye at some homely girl.
(wish I could write something as cool)

Del Riser said...

The fiery furnace on this side of the grass for me too. I'm also an organ donor so don't know how much will be left.
After, I hope folks have a party.

violet said...

I will be cremated too. Told my hubby and kids to put me in a coffee can and bury that in the back yard. If they don't have the cash they can just throw my body over the fence into the neighbors yard. Never liked them anyway. I really don't care how they memorialize me or if they do. It's kind of like adding my two cents worth regarding what they watch on tv after I leave the house. I don't care. I'll be outta here!

goheels83 said...

lmao Violet!

califblondy said...

OMG, Violet, I'm trying not to bust, "throw my body over the fence" is the funniest thing I've heard all day...

Good one Vicki! I guess "I Will Survive" is out of the question?

Agent**It said...

Cremated, but with three opinions that I'm really dead.

On my Brick it will read:
"I'll be back"

We are stardust, so there is nowhere for my ashes to go, except.. up !

kelly said...

Cremation for me as well....no funeral home party at our fav bar, red velvet rope at entrance where my in-laws will finally be told to %$&^ off, Goin On Up to The Spirit In The Sky is my one request and my brother will read something I heard on Little House years ago

Remember me with smiles and laughter,
for that's the way I'll remember you,
If you can only remember me with tears, please don't remember me at all.

Then drink, drink, drink. Haven't decided if I want a headstone because who will care in 100 years, I'm just a regular person.

Sunny said...

@Violet
I am still laughing at your comment. Too funny

I'm in @Lurky Loo's bake and shake category, as everyone in my family has had their ashes scattered at a certain undisclosed, very cool location in Colorado Springs. I was supposed to go the grave with that information, but . . . .

Is it totally weird that I want the cast of Rent to sing Seasons of Love at my Memorial? And I want my best friend to poster size the photo of us wearing white hard hats, white rain boots, and blue coveralls being lowered into a cave in New Zealand. It's the most epic photo ever, and the best part is my eyes are rolling back into my head from the flash and it makes everyone crack up who sees it. THAT'S how I want to be remembered

El Roy 13 said...

I want to go out like the little Indian kid in The Darjeeling Limited.

So no tombstone for me either (besides, I think that's more a white ppl thing...b/c note, there aren't any Native American tombstones from the 1700's laying around)

//Omama isn't white.

Another Josh said...

Pepperoni.

Maja With a J said...

@Goober - I love that!

car54 said...

I don't want to be buried either, I want the least expensive cremation and disposal with no ceremony. Donate any organs that would be useful if the circumstances allow.

If I did have to have something it would be "Free at Last".

Mhdz said...

I plan on being cremated and scattered, but my favorite all-time tombstone has to be Mel Blanc's. "That's All Folks!"

Mama June said...

Cremated, but with three opinions that I'm really dead-Agent**It

This! And my husband and I are both to be scattered in the Carribean, preferably together. Need to figure out who is gonna have the honor of taking us since we dont have kids.

Mhdz said...

I do want a funeral, but more as a celebration of life type thing. I definitely want "Sabre Dance" playing as people come in, I think it'll make people chuckle. Also, the In-N-Out truck has to be there.

Texshan said...

I hope that I die in a way that will enable the docs to harvest as much of me as they can (I'm an organ donor). I then want to be cremated ASAP, as I do not want to be embalmed or anything like that. Ashes scattered at sea with a small memorial service. If someone could sing "People Get Ready" and "Amazing Grace," that would be cool.

The funeral biz is such a racket. When my dad died, we had a smallish funeral at our church (use of the small sanctuary and the services of our pastor were free, of course). The cost of the simplest pine casket (which is what he had said he wanted), flowers, body transport, embalming, cremation and scattering urn was almost $7,000 in 1999. Ridiculous.

BreeB714 said...

funeral is expensive... I would like the family to rent a casket (can be done) and bury me in a cardboard box in a cemetery... I would like something sweet.. If tears to build a stairway i'd walk to heaven and be with you once again

Anonymous said...

I'm getting cremated or that other process that is more enviro friendly that I read about a few years ago and having my remains spread in the Atlantic ocean. I may have lived on the pacific coast for the last 15 years but the east coast will always be my home.

Bender Rodriguez said...

Ill still be around haunting people. No tombstone for me.

Redheat said...

For some morbid reason I am always thinking about this, much to my daughters chagrin as I'm always telling her what songs I want played.

Tombstone:"She died laughing"

Wake, with my cremated remains being mixed with some cement and thrown over the side of a ship to become an underwater reef (yes such a service exists)

Rock and Roll played at my wake, no black, I want to be the only one wearing it. I want laughter, music and good times.

One of these days I need to get my CD burned for the songs, but I do keep changing my mind.

Tempestuous Grape said...

I will be cremated but if I did have one, it would be old style Disneyland Haunted Mansion style;

Here lies a childless, unmarried, know-it-all fat fuck who talked too much, ate too much, and drank too much wine!

That's Aunt Flow talking...if I wasn't pms city right now, it would be nicer I'm sure.

Not A Ninny said...

"Ate pussy like a champ!" Which I don't think is particularly true, but one girlfriend did say something like that. I just want something highly transgressive on my tombstone. My kids won't care. They'd just laugh.

goheels83 said...

HI B PROFANE! Have we met??? Bc we totally should.

iheartjacksparrow said...

Cremation for me. No ceremony. Scatter my ashes where there's lots of flowers.

Anonymous said...

burn me. Being left in the ground to rot is gross.

Anonymous said...

And make sure not one penny of anything o have goes to anyone in my husbands family. I would rather have everything burn to the ground before they got a bread crumb

Anonymous said...

Yes being referred to as either half retarded or just a really stupid bitch and the fat one does not inspire good relations

Jocasta said...

Let's write on my tombstone what everyone would think when they find it:
"Thank GOD she's dead. The bitch."
I'm a nice person in real life; just don't act like a doormat.
No really, I told my husband of 31 years to do this or else. He just nodded quickly. Snort!

Brenda L said...

I just want a big smiley face.

nunaurbiz said...

My parents and sister were all cremated and their ashes are spread in a special place, which is where I want to end up. But if there were some kind of memorial, I just want under my name an old-school journalism mark signifying "the end":

-30-

luckylass said...

No tombstone. Cremated and placed in a plain paper box, until I am spread all over the place. I would love it if my friends and family would spread me a little bit here and there.

I specifically told my husband and mother to not bend and buy an expensive urn for no good reason. The funeral folks make you feel like an asshole for spending money on stupid things. Spend money on the living.

Not A Ninny said...

Ha! When I sent out the press release to all the local newsrooms announcing the death of my father, the headline was, "Slug 30 For Veteran Reporter ____ _____".

Megsablue said...

I want to donate my body to science (if I got to choose, I'd love my organs to be donated and my bones to be used in a forensic anthropology class as I loved all the ones I took).

One big ass party (think wake) and I've always said I want "Another One Bites the Dust" played. For my tombstone, I'm with Tempestuous Grape, I want something Haunted Mansion style.

Jason Blue Eyes said...

Mine will say "I was here and I was awesome, damnit."

ardleighstreet said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ms Cool said...

"Free nightly hauntings between midnight and 2 am"

ardleighstreet said...

Ok I want roasted and tossed. No funeral, no plot. Way too much $$$$$$$.

The saddest tombstone I've ever seen is near my parents. A young mans tombstone with the prodigal son on it. Etched after it says--"Our prodigal returned". Who would do that shite to your child?

Tru Leigh said...

I told my family I don't want a funeral. If they won't come to see me when I'm alive, I don't want them around when I dead.

Veech said...

Headstone will read a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson:
"To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intellingent persons and the affection of children; to earn the approbation of honest citizens and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give of one's self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived - this is to have succeeded."

And since I'm Greek, and we have eat after any function, I've requested my favorite bar be rented out, and they play Bruce Springsteen, drink beer, and eat buffalo wings. I'm a classy broad like that.

csproat said...

I'll be cremated and my ashes will be scattered over Georgian Bay

Agent**It said...

B.Profane, Seattle?

Henriette said...

I want to be cremated with ashes spread in the Mediterranean between Greece and Italy.

feraltart said...

Burnt and scattered over the ocean. If I had a tombstone I would like it to say: She loved well and was well loved.
Don't want people in black. November Rain by Gunner's playing when people walk in. My Way for the bit when you sit there and contemplate - I hope people sing along. Finally, The William Tell Overture when people leave so they can get the part started.

Hammer_Girl said...

I used to work for a dr but unfortunately he passed away. His request was to have one last boys night out. So a few of his friends and other dr's convinced the guy at the funeral home to release his body to them for the night. A few hours actually. They took his casket to a quiet dock on the river and they smoked cigars which he loved, and they drank beer and talked about him. Later they took him back with no issues. I thought that was pretty damn cool he would have loved it

Unknown said...

I'm an organ donor and what's left of me I'll have cremated, but if I had a tombstone I would definitely want this on it:

Remember me as you walk by
As you are now, so once was I
As I am now, soon you will be
Prepare for Death, and follow me.

Texshan said...

BreeB, I don't know of any cemetaries that will let a body be buried in a cardboard box. They will insist on a casket.

Unknown said...

Seriously, my Dad was a Marine drill instructor in the service, he ended up with a very successful life but he wants to be buried in a certain cemetery with other marines, but instead of in a uniform he wants to be buried in a tuxedo, with the epitaph "All dressed up and nowhere to go". He thinks it's hilarious, my mother wants to be cremated and shot out into space, so she doesn't have to be on the same planet as my Dad for eternity.

I have some funny stories about growing up.

Unknown said...

Texshan:

We have cemeteries in CA that allow you to be buried in organic cardboard boxes, muslin body bags, or bamboo caskets. The point for this is that you are taken by the earth in about two years, there are no markers and the plots are reused, it's for people who don't want to impact the environment and put put chemicals into the ground and ground water, or use a casket but the body becomes part of the earth on the side of a beautiful mountain and that mountain really becomes their memorial. I believe it's called organic funerals, you take no permanent space, no chemicals are used to process you for death and the item used to hold the body is broken down within weeks of interment. It's quite popular. Your family can even dig the grave, which some people incorporate into the ceremony process. I went to a funeral where that was done and it was very beautiful and really fitting for the person who died. Her epitaph was leaving no footprint except the one in the hearts and memories of those she loved and who loved her.

jaariel said...

What do I want on my Tombstone?
Pepperoni & Extra Cheese !
But seriously...

And Psalm 62:5
"Find rest, O my soul, in GOD alone; my hope comes from Him alone."

II Corinthians 4:18
"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

Lelaina Pierce said...

I haven't put that much thought in to this other than I definitely want to be cremated b/c of cost. I always thought the end of Elizabethtown kind of had a cool idea. Orlando Bloom ends up spreading his father's ashes on various places Kirsten Dunst recommended on his journey home. So maybe something like that if I can remember to put it together before I kick the bucket. A lot of my family is buried in my hometown in SC but I have already let them know that it would not be my final destination. ;)

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