Monday, December 14, 2015

Today's Blind Items - Has To Be A Brown Car

Do you know how hard it is to find a brown car? It is harder than you think. Sure, if you go to a new car lot, there might one one or two in a group of a few hundred. Used cars are a little easier. It was a color that people bought back in the day. Of course back in the day people thought Lindsay Lohan was cool and pumped up their sneakers thinking it would make them jump higher. The other night I was dying laughing listening to this agent talk about the lengths they go to make sure this particular client always has a brown rental car.

Our actor is B list. He also does some hosting. He started out young and is an a-hole. Now that we have that out of the way, the agent told me it all started when the actor got booked for a movie out of LA. Our actor hit up some phone dating service for men who wanted to hook up with other men. This was a few years ago so no Grindr at that point. Our actor, made some arrangements and told the other guy he would swing by his place in a brown car (because that was the color of the rental) and the other guy should just come outside when he saw the car.Our actor didn't want to be spotted getting out. Our actor is so deep in the closet that he has barricaded himself inside.

So, fast forward a little bit. Our actor gets someone to hire him again. Out of town. He wants a brown car. The agent passes this request to the producer to make sure it is in the contract. Boom. No problem, the producer finds a brown rental car and everything is good.

Next movie. The same thing. This time though the producer can't find a brown rental car but does not think it is a big deal and that it is an actor just playing mind games. Nope. The actor likes picking up guys in brown cars. So much so that our actor quit the damn movie when he arrived into town and there was no brown rental car.

Since that time, the agent and the producer of whatever movie make sure there is a brown rental car. They start looking everywhere and have had them shipped in. All of this for a guy who is not even that great of an actor but has a decent name who likes to hook up with strange men in a strange city while rolling in a brown car.

 

19 comments:

sandybrook said...

Ricky Gervais?

Kno Won Uno said...

I feel like this is Nick Cannon, but he doesn't fit.

Kno Won Uno said...

I bought a brown car in 1977 and never bought another one.

MontanaMarriott said...

Franco?

sandybrook said...

From 2012:

Silver was the most popular exterior car color in America for nearly a decade. But while it remains beloved by automotive designers for best showing off a car's styling, its unstinting argent reign was finally overthrown this year. By white. According to Sandy McGill, BMW Designworks' lead designer in color, materials, and finish, this is Steve Jobs' doing. "Prior to Apple, white was associated with things like refrigerators or the tiles in your bathroom. Apple made white valuable."

Valuable, yet boring. So while the rise in white's snowy stock may be good news for the luxury market — white is high maintenance, thus luxurious — it's a pale palliative for those of us with a bit more pigment in their palette. Fortunately, our expert interviews and analysis reveal that more enticing colors are emerging

sandybrook said...

(continued)

But the most enticing color trend, from our perspective, is the return of brown. After all, what could be more compelling to unicorn-riding Rainbow Brites like us than the hue derived — as any child left too long at an easel will readily demonstrate — from combining every shade in the visible spectrum?

As recently as 2008 articles and experts were prognosticating the "extinction" of brown as an automotive exterior color: it was too rooted in the malaise of the 1970s, it blended in too well with the scenery, it lowered resale value. Even the aesthetically-bereft American Automobile Association (AAA) danced on brown's loamy grave, claiming, in their Car and Color Safety dispatch of 2004 that, "brown, black, and green cars [are] roughly twice as likely as white cars to be involved in crashes resulting in serious injury."


High end car makers like Mercedes, BMW, Mini, Porsche, Rolls-Royce, and Bentley have all begun investigating what brown can do for them, with each marque offering at least two — and in the case of Bentley, a full half-dozen — earthy shades on their contemporary offerings. But we're also starting to see brown trickle down into the lower ends of the automotive marketplace. Ford now offers its Taurus sedan and Escape SUV in Kodiak Brown, as well as proffering a caramelly Golden Bronze dip on its best-selling F-150. And Toyota, though famous for producing cars that are both literally and figuratively beige, has also began to polish the mahogany, offering a quartet of browns on models like the Venza, Avalon, RAV-4, and Tacoma (though, ironically, you cannot purchase a Sienna in brown.)

Kno Won Uno said...

hahahaha!
That's hysterical! I'm afraid I haven't noticed an uptick in poop-colored cars.
It's possible that the popularity of white is due to huge rental fleets buying only white cars.
I think Sandy's full of crap - and she has bad hair.

Tricia13 said...

This is way vague and I ,personally don't think he is an asshole- but I'll guess Taye Diggs. Hosts Random various stuff, ratings fit- works in film mostly now.

CosmoCreamer said...

He

Ibebackyo said...

Taye fits

Malibuborebee said...

Given Enty's predilection for dicking around with clues, I think we can safely say it's Cannon anyway.

Blind Item Hub said...

+1

Dutch said...

Hmmm..... what about Mario Lopez?

Whywhywhy??? said...

I don't see Canon as "actor" though because he is a multi titled in Enty category land...at least he was host, actor, blah, blah, blah.

Molly said...

hmmm... is this like the red-shirt, brown-pants joke?

Molly said...

Is it: http://www.fairfaxunderground.com/forum/file.php?40,file=91405,filename=plymouth_scamp.jpg

?

Scallywag said...

My car is brown...or rather, espresso bronze.

Rental car companies used to buy a huge amount of white cars - to the point where a white car in Florida was assumed to be a rental. Car rental companies (esp. Enterprise) make big money on resales And so likely to have valuables in the trunk/hatch. So they were broken into more often. So now car rental companies buy a variety of colors.

P.S. Don't buy a rental resale. People treat rentals like shit.

Zilla1 said...

For whatever reason, Matthew Mcconnaughey came to mind when I read this, although he's still an A, isn't he? Maybe I was just thinking of the Lincoln commercials, lol.

dani said...

Lol. Lexus has a brown color that I like & considered getting. All cars don't come in brown.

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