Blind Item #1 - The Priceless Collection - A Himmmm Blind

I thought it may be nice to share an item that didn't include kids being abused.  Although I warn you it is adult in nature with some very adult descriptions, all the participants seemed over legal age and there of their own choice – well, as far as I knew anyway, some were borderline in age and some may have been so chemically altered they had no idea where they were. I think that's my excuse from back in the day anyway.

So, this Fall – in October- I got a call from an old friend, who is an attorney working with the estate of a dead legendary celebrity (permanent A list celebrity) whom I will refer to as PM.  PM died recently and left behind a large estate to be settled, and it was easy to forget how powerful he once was and what an original "influencer" he was on shaping culture in his time.  My friend said they've been overseeing the catalog inventory of items of the estate.  They were going through some old personal photos taken at a party of PM (Annual Shakespeare like party in name only) and said he'd found some hilarious photos of me from back in the 1980s, and would I like them? Scared at first, I was reassured the were only mildly embarrassing. Photos of me, two models, drunk in a pool one night with an inflatable ducky pool float on my head. Egad. 

I went to the legendary estate of PM and found it more run down than I recall, and quite vacant.  My lawyer pal and one of his investigator/paralegals were there, along with PM's son. We'd never met, but he was very nice, and asked if I minded going underground to the vault with them.  A security guy started with us, but stopped at the elevator and we three went down together. We all descended into the depths of the house to a walk-in bank vault installed actually BENEATH the basement of the house. Like a bunker, with tunnels going to someplace.  It was as big as a living room. I thought it peculiar when they both said I needed to leave all cell phones and electronics on the table outside the big vault.  They said that no electronics are ever allowed inside, and when you pass through the entrance to the vault there's a "net" that will erase things and jam signals and it will kill your phone.  Wild.  I thought we just did that in movies and not sure it really existed.  I happily complied, left my goods, and in we went.

 After walking through a laser beam that made you feel like you had to whizz really badly, we were inside the "room".  The Son flipped on a switch and air rushed through vents, and he pulled a metal shutter door closed behind us.  I saw rows of metal cabinets lined the walls, with ceiling-high pull-out drawers.  Inside were usual trappings of protected fame and wealth; including old films, documents, papers, and photos. Lots of artwork including Warhol's, Dali's, and others. All climate controlled and mint. I asked about the Warhol's, and the Monet, and the obvious Picasso.

The Son said: "Oh yeah, most of the valuables he kept in here. Some of his business stuff he kept backups of at a bunker thing in some place in  Utah, but most was in here. He liked to enjoy his collections.  But the paintings aren't the most valuable.  He owns the most priceless things in history. He has the largest collection of unreleased movies ever – maybe worth billions."  Somehow, I thought he meant like old silent films.

I wasn't even close to being right.

We moved to a manila folder and pulled out old 35mm prints of party pictures. They handed me the photos of me (OMFG! Cringe!), and I thanked them for giving them up so gently (Was I really that young looking once? Wow). My curiosity was peaked when I saw piles of old photos, folders, and stacks of old home movie reels and videos sitting inside the vault.  They had names on them, and dates with some having events listed.  My pal caught my stare and said "Yeah, you're not the only one. And these are NOT ready for prime time!". PM's son invited me to the long, wide table (this place looked more like a hospital exam room than a library), and started showing me folders.  He played this game that went like this: "Any idea who this is?". When I looked at the photo, I was speechless. There, in front of me was (permanent A list country singer who has been A list for decades) totally nude in all her glory – obviously from the late 1970s.  At a party inside an indoor pool.  She's nude, laughing, with two girls on either side. I had forgotten how short she was. And yes, they were real and they were magnificent (and it wasn't Mulva either!).

After picking up my jaw, I then perused the piles of videos.  My lawyer pal and the Son just glanced at each other with Cheshire grins.  One had the name of a legendary TV star (former A list mostly television actress and one year wonder) who was maybe my first screen crush.  I turned to the Son and my pal – "NO F—CKING WAY". They both erupted laughing. Yes, they said. Way. The Son turned around and against the wall was a small combo TV/VCR unit, beside a DVD console, an old movie studio-style film viewer for 8mm and 16mm movies, and a photo box for blowing up pictures and slides.  He turned on the VCR, and within seconds, in front of my eyes was that TV Star in all her wondrous glory. Not just nude, but having sex. First by herself, then with a guy. You can tell it is an old 16mm film cheap-loop porno reel transferred to video. 

The Son said: "Dad had a ton of this stuff.  Some of it he shot, some of it he produced.  A lot of it though was bought from blackmailers and others to keep it out of the public eye. He bought it to PROTECT a lot of his friends and they returned favors".  I was floored, watching this pre-fame goddess on all fours clearly enjoying herself.  With her recent popular resurgence, I can only imagine the value of this tape copy alone.  I asked if I could check it out, like a library – you know, for educational history purposes only. They laughed. Not a chance. There weren't even cameras INSIDE the vault, to reduce the risk of any security guards recording anything second-hand.  And that laser net was to keep anyone from walking away with anything.

 This first tape was a drop in the bucket.  The Son and my lawyer pal fired up the whole video suite there in the back of the vault, to show me this collection. I've rarely been so speechless in my life.  If I was a college-aged kid again, I'd have been in paradise.  Most of the items there were from the 1950s through the early 2000s.  Or so I thought.  Those were just the ones I saw myself.  Apparently, this place was the Smithsonian of celebrity nudes and porn items.  Since this story is long, I'll cut to the chase to share what I witnessed with my own eyes, all in one afternoon in the same place (I will just list these and the details with them but I was so shocked I could barely keep up with it all):
Early 1980s video of this female permanent A list celebrity/host who has been on television forever in the same exact job and this deceased permanent A list male singer who loved grunting and drugs both nude at outdoor pool.  She's also got a very endowed white guy laying beside of her.  She starts pleasuring herself as the musical legend gets aroused.  A young blonde model joins her and they tease the singer by doing things with each other.  So much for her mostly-pure image.  Apparently she really is bisexual!

This former A- list mostly television actress who was on a very very hot southern show and had an iconic character name back when she was a little chubby and obviously young.  Looks like 1970s.  A filmed stag loop of her nude, then joining a porn star (former A list porn star who made her last movie three decades ago. I think she won an AVN Award or two) on a motel bed.  I was told this was cut from an early studio film of hers.  But this tape continues, and then shows the same star, with the porn star again, in a home movie at the house we're standing in.  And this legendary actor (permanent A+ list mostly movie actor who I feel is going to die any day now and was a staple of 80's National Enquirer covers) joins in and all three have sex.  The Son told me his dad, PM, filmed this upstairs at this house.  PM helped make the girl a star through his television producer pals.

Former A- list mostly television actress from an iconic long running network show which had a horrible reboot in the early 1980s, in an early VHS home video with PM and his girlfriend.  All three in bed, having sex.  The television actress is another who began her career after PM "launched" her to fame.  My lawyer pal turns to me and says "you do know she was a call right?". I had heard, but wow.
Permanent A+ list mostly movie actress who got PM started in a way in old black and white 1950s era photos, with her face smiling and her body fully nude, spread, and posing.

Permanent A list mostly movie actress who had a killer daughter so to speak in black and white photos.  A lot of them.  Some of her nude, some of her having sex with a guy, and her with a nude female I could not recognize.  Again, that unmistakable face and figure.  She was a blonde, and looked to be in her peak famous days.  I just stared at these a while, and my lawyer pal said that PM got those through infamous attorney who represented Clarence Darrow back in the day and and mobster ________, around the time the actress was in a big scandal.  Her lawyer sneaked these out of her dead boyfriend's apartment before the cops or media got there.  It was like LA Confidential for real.  PM offered them to the actress years later, for free, and she didn't want them but asked he not share them. PM agreed, and kept his word.  She was truly stunning, in every way.

Others that were seen on video, films, or in photos (either in professional test shot nudes, or homemade nudes/sex) included:
1. former A+ list mostly television actress who does a lot of infomercials
2. former A list mostly movie actress who recently had a birthday and who has a barely there celebrity offspring
3. former A- list mostly television actress/model who had to replace one of the biggest stars ever
4. Former A list mostly movie actor who is an Oscar winner/nominee and has an almost as famous offspring.
5. Former A- list Cinemax late night actress who is married to a permanent A lister and foreign born Bond girl both having sex, with each other and snorting coke.
6. The unnamed face behind a lot of recent blinds snorting cocaine with this one named icon. The icon was also captured with a horrible boob job.
7.This former A list mostly television actor who always played a cop and was partnered with a sexual predator getting oral sex from some female.
8. Former A+ list mostly movie actress with the unique voice drunk, in 1980s polaroids, nude with a skinny man I cannot recognize.
9. Former A- list mostly movie actress who made her fame in a certain type of 70's films swimming nude, no implants needed! Wow.
10. A former Playmate who you will never get so I'm not going to bother having sex with a still alive permanent A+ list producer.
11. This foreign born former A- list syndicated actress who got her start getting naked, very young, before implants, and nude in a video having sex with PM.
12. A celebrity offspring of celebrity offspring in an acting family in early 1980s, in grainy video, masturbating graphically in front of PM on a overstuffed sofa.
Then I saw a jaw-dropper that made me uncomfortable.  #12 when she was young, teenage young, at a party with a very young former A+ list mostly movie actress who still has A+ list name recognition despite not doing much for decades – looked in her early teens.  Some are Polaroid photos of the two drinking and kissing each other. French kissing each other, with people around watching.  Both were clothed – not nude.  Must have been 20 pictures of them drinking, dancing, and licking/kissing each other with dancing adults around them.  This was the only thing there that looked sketchy, but they weren't nude.  In fact, you could see that from her years before (her first movie) in a cinema.  Makes me afraid to wonder what else they did though?
13. Former WH official who is a talking head now, in swim trunks with a nude model you won't get sitting astride him, kissing him.
14. Famous nude model who got murdered, having sex, riding PM in his bed.
15. Clear video of former news kingpin/sports owner in a robe beside a pool smoking a joint and laughing with two nude models.
16. A list mostly movie actress who deserves to be about a B+ but has that A list iconic character and show to fall back on topless, underneath a waterfall, and standing beside a pool making faces at a photographer topless in just a bikini bottom.  Photos from the 1990s.
17. Former A+ list reality star and her mom both looking drunk or drugged, dancing in lingerie and falling over each other and others.  Photos from a party, and the last few photos showed the celebrity daughter totally nude, wasted, standing atop a table.

So just when my head had stopped spinning, and I had not spoken or taken a breath in 20 minutes, the Son and my pal were laughing at my shock.  I just was shaking my head, and asked them if they had any idea the value of this stuff? If this replacement to #17 could make an empire off a sex tape can you imagine what this stuff would do?  The Son then reaches over and says "Pffft- speaking of…". And shows me a folder of photos taken from the early 1990s, with #17's mom and this former A+ list athlete both nude, on a pool table, with her riding him. 

Wow.  Reaching onto the floor, the Son pushes buttons on a smaller safe's keypad.  It opens, and he pulls out more VHS tapes, polaroids, and videotapes from old film transfers.  He says: "These are the Mona Lisa's.  Dad didn't want these even mixed in with the others".  At this point I'm expecting to see woodcut engravings of George Washington getting freaky with Jesus and Napoleon or something.  I don't think anything could blow my mind more than what I'd seen. 
I was wrong.

Former spouse of #15 having lesbian sex on video with another woman in a hotel.  They are obvious taking turns recording it themselves.  This appears to be late 80s or early 90s, in front of balcony doors at night.  With #15 performing oral sex on the other woman, then the former spouse using a strap-on device on #15. "I think Dad got this from a competing publisher" said the Son. What the actual f….??, I thought.

The original to #3 in the late 70s in photos making out with another girl, and totally nude with PM in his bed.

#18 - Former A list mostly movie actress who was not that great of an actress but very good looking in the 1980s and there's three video tapes and an envelope of photos of her trying on lingerie. Then nude. Then having sex with PM.  Then another tape of her having sex with that producer mentioned above.  She has stretch marks I didn't know she had. Still the ultimate goddess.

#19 - Foreign born former WH official kissing #18's nude breasts in polaroids.
#20 - Former spouse to the one named icon mentioned earlier is laying on a chair laughing, drinking.  His wife at the time very flirty to the cameraman and goes from the pool to her husband and back in the water.
#21 - Former TV dad turned sexual predator in an 8mm silent home movie on a pool chair, making faces, as a brunette model performs oral sex on him.  At least she's awake!

#22 - Former A list country singer who got started as a teenager on very grainy video, laying on a sofa nude, an African-American woman performs oral sex on her.  After several minutes, the nude woman turns around and it is a former Bond villian!!! Wow.  The country singer looks tiny compared to the Amazon woman.  The country singer gets up and walks to a pool table, climbs up, laughs and the camera cuts off.
There was an entire plastic storage case full of envelopes and folders with dates, names, and events listed on them.  More than I could have watched in a week.  Some I didn't get to see but noticed the names were:

#23 - former A list female tennis player from the 70's and 80's.
#24 - former brat pack actor.
#25 - permanent A+ list model with celebrity offspring.
#26 - Permanent A list singer in a group/never solo.
#27 - Former Dallas actress.
#28 - Worst dad ever. Married to someone mentioned twice so far.

In some of these I did see, you could tell that PM was clearly recording it (his voice was obvious).  Others you hear a woman's voice behind the camera.  The Son said sometimes PM would keep a cameraman on hand at parties just for this purpose.  I asked the Son if it ever skeeved him out, with that being his Dad?  He laughed and said "Nope – it's not like I was afraid of sex or nudity any way.  But funny enough my folks were pretty protective of us and I didn't even know this stuff was here until Dad got sick.  I still don't know who half these people are."
Realizing the time passed, and my mind totally blown, we headed back out – making it through the James Bond setup again, and getting my stuff to leave.  I thanked them both for an insanely mind-altering experience, but mostly for my own photos (which obviously wouldn't make any highlight reels around here).  I had to know, so I just blurted it out and asked what they were going to do with all of it. 
The Son said, "Most of it goes back to the people in them – if they want them.  That's what Dad said he wanted.  Some of it I'm supposed to hold on to, because people may want to take out grudge's against Dad on me so I'm keeping them.  The rest? Well…".  And he just shrugged and smiled a big smile.  At that moment, he really did look like his old man.
All the way back home I just couldn't stop replaying what I'd seen. Especially that lady singer with those big…eyes.  Wow.  Impressive.  My wife got a kick out of my own photos and said she was disappointed I wasn't more "exposed".  I didn't share with her the exposure I'd just seen or my relief that I wasn't exposed.  I do know this – that if suddenly, in the next few years, a large amount of classic celebrity sex tapes and photos start hitting the market?  I'll know the source. 

Blind Item #5 - A Dancing Boy Blind

This is all top secret for now but it looks like there's going to be a dancing boy feature too, and the way it's developing the idea is for this story to be the first in the dancing boy franchise franchise/universe (with movies, tv, and plays that take place over the course of my life cycle).
Another part of it I haven't mentioned is that a reoccurring theme in these stories - and it goes in a certain way to a central theme of CDAN (as in: are there any good elites?) - is the whole clash of the titans/war in the heavens/battle of the superheros motif. But in this case it involves the secret global elite - one side good, the other not - and those in their employ.

And, as it turns out - back in the 80s - one of the crack teams of operatives for the good elites are a group of Hollywood kids (think MI or Spy Kids, but for real), who were trained at a secret facility in the Hollywood Hills. Our last mission back then ended in failure, but we're about to be recalled into service by my French billionaire patron. Our mission? To break into the high security studio vault where a certain movie is stored (and which includes in particular certain footage - it's been sold for thousands a piece in the Hollywood underground for three decades), and steal the movie, ninja-like (to score leverage in getting me out of the NDA with the studio).

This is the stuff of the prologue to the dancing boy movie: we all arrive at the facility for the first since the 80s, which has been sealed like a vault or tomb. Everything there - the tech, furnishing - is straight out of the 80s, which is our limiting factor. As for who else, I think I've named a couple or few of the people, but also one from the most recent dancing boy blind, the dancing boy's parents (as themselves), a certain female co-star of the dad (yes, HER), and yes (rolls eyes) him (someone had to give him a job, because no one's going to give him that 10 million bucks), among others. Also: the token millennial (who as a tween/teen basically created his own brand out of that joke at your 8th birthday when one of your friends unties a balloon animal and sucks the gas out of it, starts talking, and it's pretty much the funniest thing ever; do you know how many page views those things got [before he got picked up I mean]? in some cases more than 70 million).

I've also someone specific in mind for the head villain in "the Little Drummer Boy" flick. This is a major child actor (of the 80s) turned adult actor (who was always a nice guy). Here's the giveaway: there was a blind about him and a certain female musician not too long ago. Something else? My sister has a similar story (this is the formerly religious one). It happened after the taping of Season 2, Episode 9 - I was there too.

As you know Friday is fast approaching which means more blind items will be revealed. All of the items will be from January's blind items. Tomorrow I will post the items which will be revealed so that you may take one last guess before the blindfold comes off. Today I will post some blind items from the last few weeks and provide some hints. Nothing as tortuous as the last time I provided hints. Instead of being wordy, I am hoping this time, the answers can be found with as few words a possible.

January 2, 2007

This former A list actor primarily known for his television roles had a vice paid for by his employers without them even knowing it. Our intrepid actor would haunt various seedy massage parlors until he found a special lady or two who gave excellent happy endings. He would make a deal to the owner of the parlors to buy the girl or two and then convince the studio to hire them as his masseuses. This allowed our actor to indulge in his fantasies while at the same time always seeking out new parlors and new ladies to replace his current ones. Everything was great until his last show tanked. Paradise was no more for our actor who soon found out that in many of his visits to massage parlors he was videotaped. With no more money coming to the parlor owners from the studios they wanted it from the actor and were threatening to make the tapes public. With no work coming in, the actor sold everything he had and even made some questionable legal decisions all to keep these not so nice people from coming after him. Meanwhile he could never say goodbye to the parlors and they were ruining his life. He finally has given up the parlors and paid off his debt and new work is finally starting to come his way. No word on who his new masseuse is.

1. Read it carefully
2. Something in common with Matthew Broderick

January 8, 2007

JACKASS

This past weekend I was leaving one of my favorite restaurants in LA. I love a good steak and this place has the best. Like everyone else does here in LA, I was waiting in line for the valet. There were about four people ahead of my group. I had seen this actor inside, and although we are not friends, we certainly know each other enough to say hello. Throughout the evening I had seen this actor enjoying drink after drink and growing louder and louder. He was being obnoxious, but nothing out of the ordinary or worth a mention here. UNTIL, he and his companions emerged from the restaurant and proceeded to push their way through to the front of the valet line. For some reason there was only one valet working and so things were moving a little slow. However, everyone was in a good mood and no one was complaining because they could all see how hard the one valet was working. He was not walking anywhere. He was running flat out. The valet looked to be in his mid 20's and was from Mexico. His English was poor which was going to cost him in a few minutes. When our actor came outside, the valet was not there because he was running to get a car. This immediately sent Mr. Ass into a rant about how no one has good service anymore and he had a movie opening soon and companies just did not value customer service.

So, the valet comes back with a car and now there are three people ahead of my group and the first in line prepares to give his ticket to the valet. The valet is about to grab it, when Mr. Ass says, "Hold it, I need to go first. I have a talk show I am supposed to do in twenty minutes." Well it is almost 11pm and no one is buying that story. The valet did not really understand what Mr. Ass was saying, just that there was an angry man getting more angry by the minute right in his face. The valet kind of gave a half smile and a shrug, and went back to the person who was first. At that point, Mr. Ass decided to play the do you know who I am card. I hate that card and to have this almost A lister recite what he has done and is doing to a man who did not understand a word was really humorous if you were not being the guy yelled at. It is so LA and so annoying. At that point, Mr. Ass lost it and his friends were trying to slink away. Mr. Ass said he would just go get his car himself and where were all the damn keys. The valet pointed and Mr. Ass got his keys and then asked where the cars were parked. It turns out the cars were about two blocks away. That sent Mr. Ass into a rant about how could the cars be protected if they were that far away and there better not be any damage to his car, etc. BUT it was too far for him to bother with it and that the valet should get it NOW. Well, it looked like we were in for another outburst of yelling and screaming, but everyone agreed Mr. Ass should go first. We just did not have the guts to watch it and you could tell the valet just wanted to escape the wrath of Mr. Ass.

The valet got back a few minutes later with the vehicle and Mr. Ass actually had the nerve to say it’s about time. No tip, no manners, and not the first time. Needless to say, the valet made a ton of money off the rest of us, but Mr. Ass needs a good ass kicking.

1. Something in common with Bill Murray

January 10, 2007

This B list actor is starting to ride high. He has been in the business since he was a toddler but has just started to change everyone’s perceptions about him. He is loving life right now and in his mind things could not get any better. In addition to acting, he owns his own company with two of his friends. Moving from one project to the next and his rise up the ladder caught the eye of a still teenage C list actress on the way up. She has always moved from one guest spot to the next and always finds someone to sleep with at each of these stops. Whatever she is doing is working. Instead of one off guest spots, she is starting to get some multi-episode jobs from her grateful previous co-stars. She used our actor to gain a couple of film roles and now wants to move on. She is tired of sleeping over at his place, pretending to still like him and making small talk like she still cares. She has larger fish now to find in the film world. He is crazy about her, knows nothing of her past, and would be crushed to learn that she is using him and his name and is counting down the days until production starts on her new film next month. Thanks to his help, it is her biggest role yet and should vault her to the B list. But for him there will not be that fairy tale ending.

1. Is the Andy Griffith show too many degrees of separation?

January 10, 2007

Anyway, so at lunch yesterday. Popular place, but nothing outrageous or pretentious about it. A few celebrities were there and this particular B actor(movie and television) was in a corner being friendly with his date. VERY friendly. The kind of friendly where you know that this is date 1 or 2. The kind of friendly where she did not bother to wear much on top or bottom. The kind of friendly where this was just the start of something that was going to continue long into the afternoon. They were definitely getting their groove on. I had no reason to suspect what was going to happen next because I did not know he was married. I just thought he was enjoying being someone. A waiter interrupted their groping/petting at one point to whisper something into the actor’s ear which was unintelligible. However, he stood up quickly and said "My wife?" He grabbed the girl, pulled her up from her chair and dragged her out the back door of the place in about 15 seconds. I really did not think someone could move that fast. At about the time the laughter died around us, a woman I did not recognize, but presumably is his wife came through the front door with two of her friends, and the entire place, en masse kind of shifted to look, looked, and then went back to what they were doing. Only in LA.

1. Not Mel Gibson
2. Has been on approximately 10 canceled tv talk shows

January 17, 2007

A few weeks ago, this actor was at a party with his award winning actress wife of a few years. Also at the party was his former girlfriend and co-star now married but solo that night. The two have remained close. Throughout the night our actor and his ex flirted outrageously. Enough so, that the notoriously jealous wife really wanted to leave. Our actor sweet talked his wife like a poet and said there was nothing to worry about. He was just friends with his ex. Twenty minutes later another guest at the party opened a locked bathroom door that had not been completely shut and found our actor and his ex with certain parts exposed. The intruder apologized and left and proceeded to tell all at the party what they had seen. Most couples caught in the act would end it right there. However, our actor continued on until completion. After emerging from the bathroom tryst, our actor was a model husband and never left his wife's side. If she knows, she is not telling.

1. One word in the blind item will make it all very clear.

The Harpers Are Idiots

It is rare that I go after someone who is not really in the public eye. It is even more rare that I go after a family that is not well off, but there is a first time for everything. You probably have no idea who the Harpers are. Well, they are one of the first families who got a house in ABC's show Extreme Makeover. As much as I dislike Ty Pennington, I at least think the show is well done and uplifting and does seem to unite communities.

There have been controversies associated with the show before like the foster family that screwed over the kids for whom a home was built, but this one beats them all.

Here is a description of the home built for the Harpers by the neighbors in their community.

The finished product was a four-bedroom house with decorative rock walls and a three-car garage that towered over ranch and split-level homes in their Clayton County neighbourhood. The home's door opened into a lobby that featured four fireplaces, a solarium, a music room and a plush new office.

Materials and labour were donated for the home, which would have cost about $450,000 to build. Beazer Homes' employees and company partners also raised $250,000 in contributions for the family, including scholarships for the couple's three children and a home maintenance fund.

So, what did the Harpers do with their full paid for, best in the neighborhood home? They used it for collateral on a construction business. When the business went under, so did their house. It is being sold at a foreclosure auction on August 5th.

At the time the house was built it was by far the largest, most expensive home the show had done. 1,800 people helped to get it completed in six days. Needless to say the people who helped build it and donate everything are pissed.

"It's aggravating. It just makes you mad. You do that much work, and they just squander it," Lake City Mayor Willie Oswalt, who helped vault a massive beam into place in the Harper's living room, told The Atlanta Journal-Constitution.

And that is a mayor who is probably being nice because the Harpers might still vote for him. All this family had to do was find any job and they were set. No mortgage, no college tuition, no home maintenance costs. Ever. I understand the dream of wanting your own business, but you don't risk what other people gave you and donated and did out of love. It just isn't right.

It is so freaking aggravating and I feel sorry for the Harper kids and the 1,800 people who contributed. I feel sorry for all the people that spent two hours watching the damn show and getting invested in the family's misfortune. I feel sorry for everyone except the parents who are the biggest idiots in the world. Well, wherever they are living now, they better get used to it because I don't think anyone will ever volunteer to help them ever again. Idiots, idiots, idiots.

Blind Item #9 - Elegant Degradation – A Himmmm Blind Item Story – Part 2

With us at the Rainbow was another close friend of mine named Ben, aka Himmmm 3, or H3.  Ben was a writer-director-producer of movies and was just starting to rapidly gain acclaim.  In fact, several of his indie projects had landed him his coveted first studio film which he was slated to begin shooting very soon.  Growing up in Los Angeles with a father as an actor – Ben was a happy-go-lucky guy, with a touch of genius.  Rounding out our group of friends was a music producer/engineer named Duke, aka Himmmm 2, aka H2.  He too had grown up inside the industry, specifically the music industry as his father was a legendary record executive/producer/manager.  Duke originally hailed from the eastern U.S., and he also happened to be a cousin of mine and a life-long friend. He was about the size of a Miami Dolphins' Tight End, but a gentle giant.

It wasn't just my birthday that brought Lemmy and others over to our booth, but probably the beautiful females who had joined us to celebrate.  Among those was a former child actress named Gillian, whom you'd probably call B-list in her heyday.  Still acting at present, and still beautiful – she'd probably be considered C+ list now.  That night she was as gorgeous as she was brilliant and she and I had re-kindled a long-lost teen flirtation.

Another smart beauty in our party was Jessica, who worked at the William Morris Agency.  Jess was another cousin of mine, and she helped keep me in line.  (Or tried to anyway).  Jess had brought along a guest for the evening, Sara.  This lady was like a vault of walking Blind Items.  She was a beautiful young CPA at a top business-management firm.  She was secretly dating a man who was 30+ years her senior.  He was an A+list songwriter who'd written some of the 70s most iconic songs (alongside a Rock Hall of Fame group with which he was associated).  On the sly from him, Sara also dated a legendary A+list movie writer-director known for his odd proclivities and his weed habit which Sara revealed he was always trying to write off as a business expense.

At our gathering that night at the Rainbow, Jess and Sara seemed to be having the most fun of anyone, teasing and torturing poor Lemmy.  Contrary to published notions of most metal legends, Lemmy was a perfect gentleman there.  But even I had to warn the ladies with that biblical proverb: "You mess with the bull and you'll get the horns."  During Round #455 of drinks, Sara just so happened to remember that she'd brought my gift with her. "Oh, you didn't have to do that", I said.  "I didn't", she said.  "I was on my way over here from the office and ran into JN, (a former Playboy Playmate).  She dropped it off to give to you from her and her husband." Now that was truly sweet.  JN's hubby was a Cartier executive.  Sara said, "But I brought it to you so that much counts at least".  Uh, thanks?

I opened up the bag and found a nice Cartier pouch.  Jessica's first words: "Ooh! Me! Me, me, gimme!". I opened it up and inside was a stunning gold and diamond cross necklace.  A very LARGE necklace, with seven very perfect diamonds in it.  The note read: "May this forever bring you a lifetime of blessings. Love C-J".  Holding it up to the light was truly brilliant.  Doc then said, "Good God – do you think that's real?".  I just laughed and told him I didn't think a Cartier exec gifted too much cubic zirconium.  Which despite laughs, lead into Duke asking what it was worth, and Sara settling the matter by appraising it for five-digits.  All pointless because I'd never part with it for any reason, ever.  An overwhelming gift of generosity and beauty, from two extraordinary friends of mine.

The crowd in the Rainbow got thicker, and we all got more spirited.  Doc and I stepped outside a few moments.  I entrusted no one but Lemmy with that necklace since if anyone dared rip it off of him? They'd lose far more than dollar amounts – they'd lose limbs.  Outside in the car Doc and I did some stupid stuff.  Since it was a special occasion? We did it together.  And by "together", I mean that I smoked a joint while watching him smoke heroin.  We shared a rail of cocaine.  I appreciated his offering to share his drugs – especially since I'd paid for them with the loan I'd given him earlier.  "Happy Birthday, buddy", he said. "I'm going to get you like a giant brick of Mexican weed, any day now.  Just as soon as you spot me the money to cover it."  Really, that's fine.  I'm good.

As we floated back inside, we suddenly found ourselves the center of attention.  Everyone was having a great time dancing, eating, flirting, and singing.  In what had been a long-standing tradition among us friends for years, we always did a "Birthday Crawl" for my special day.  Not unlike a pub crawl, it is where we bounce from place to place drinking and partying over the period of around a day (or longer) until I've had enough and swear off birthday's forever.  Well, not birthdays but…the parties anyway.  A movable feast that usually results in famine.  This year we decided to do the Rainbow, followed by The Whisky, followed by the "real" day-long party – at a Los Angeles-area motel.  Since we had in mind just such a long-established "home away from home" over in Burbank? We spread the word.  Sadly, in was Summer in Hollywood – June exactly, which meant most people were on vacation.

As the drinking and cavorting continued up to midnight at the Rainbow, we were informed it was time to stagger down the street for "Round Two".  Our friends headed to The Whisky-A-Go-Go (aka The Whisky) first, for the first set of the rock show.  It was one of those alt-rock showcase nights with multiple bands playing.  Bidding our goodbyes and thanks, we stumbled down the Sunset Strip sidewalk's short distance from Rainbow to Whisky.  We wrangled everyone we knew to join in our little party led by the giant Duke.

People’s Choice Awards Special

I have been waiting for this day so I could have a theme of sorts. All of the people involved either were nominated themselves or are/were involved with a show that is nominated. That was the standard I was going to stick to. BUT then something happened at lunch yesterday and I said to myself, I can expand this to things that happen on the day of or even the night of the People’s Choice Awards. Had to expand because this item was one of the funniest things I have seen in a long time.

Going back to the earlier post today. I used the Burbank Holiday Inn as a link for a risque photo of she who must not be named. Imagine a couple in Toledo getting tickets to Jay Leno and looking for hotels close by. They love those Holiday Inns and so they Google Holiday Inn Burbank and see a link for something entitled the nether regions of said hotel. Click on it and at least one of them will make a remark about how LA hotels really are different.

Anyway, so at lunch yesterday. Popular place, but nothing outrageous or pretentious about it. A few celebrities were there and this particular B actor(movie and television) was in a corner being friendly with his date. VERY friendly. The kind of friendly where you know that this is date 1 or 2. The kind of friendly where she did not bother to wear much on top or bottom. The kind of friendly where this was just the start of something that was going to continue long into the afternoon. They were definitely getting their groove on. I had no reason to suspect what was going to happen next because I did not know he was married. I just thought he was enjoying being someone. A waiter interrupted their groping/petting at one point to whisper something into the actor’s ear which was unintelligible. However, he stood up quickly and said "My wife?" He grabbed the girl, pulled her up from her chair and dragged her out the back door of the place in about 15 seconds. I really did not think someone could move that fast. At about the time the laughter died around us, a woman I did not recognize, but presumably is his wife came through the front door with two of her friends, and the entire place, en masse kind of shifted to look, looked, and then went back to what they were doing. Only in LA.


This B list actor is starting to ride high. He has been in the business since he was a toddler but has just started to change everyone’s perceptions about him. He is loving life right now and in his mind things could not get any better. In addition to acting, he owns his own company with two of his friends. Moving from one project to the next and his rise up the ladder caught the eye of a still teenage C list actress on the way up. She has always moved from one guest spot to the next and always finds someone to sleep with at each of these stops. Whatever she is doing is working. Instead of one off guest spots, she is starting to get some multi-episode jobs from her grateful previous co-stars. She used our actor to gain a couple of film roles and now wants to move on. She is tired of sleeping over at his place, pretending to still like him and making small talk like she still cares. She has larger fish now to find in the film world. He is crazy about her, knows nothing of her past, and would be crushed to learn that she is using him and his name and is counting down the days until production starts on her new film next month. Thanks to his help, it is her biggest role yet and should vault her to the B list. But for him there will not be that fairy tale ending.

This actress has had her ups and downs and been big and small in her television and film career. On her current hit show, all of the cast and crew have tried to play cupid, but to no avail. Although she was recognized in the past, nothing prepared her for what she is going through now. Previously, even when on a popular show she was able to be with her female lovers in public, but that is no longer possible. Instead she goes on a blind date with a guy and finds something wrong. She then delays as long as possible before being set up again. She longs for her old life where she did not have to hide. She used to have a long distance beard but that ended when her relationship with her ex girlfriend ended. She wants to come out but is afraid despite the fact that real life and fiction are not always so different.

Blind Item #5 - Dancing Boy Blind Item

Here's a further, top secret sneak preview for the first thing, "The Dancing Boy of Hollywood: A True Story:"

I've gone missing, skipped sessions with my shrink, and an appointment for blood work. I haven't answered calls or texts in weeks, including from our patron, Mr. Conte himself. He's concerned that I might have relapsed - again.

Henry and Christina are sent to find me, which they do - at this secret retreat in the woods. I'm surprised to hear that I'm missing, and a little mad they think I'm using again. (I'm forced to pee in a cup in front of them, as the last time I was afforded privacy for this purpose, I had bought and passed along a clean sample. Sadly, it did not - of course - match my dna.)
They're also there to make a delivery. It's a videotape - not for my eyes, but the vault. I ask: celebrity sex tape? Nearly, Henry says, on both counts, but I'm sure you don't remember it. I guess it must be out takes from my barely legal porno career. It's earlier than that, Christina says.

They've been authorized to make a deal: I tell them, under oath, where I've been, and they'll be allowed to show me the tape. I agree.

The story cuts to a party in Malibu, June 1991. Henry and Christina discover I've been using - heroin, in this case - and stage an intervention. (It all started in the hospital, a few months before, when I was being treated for injuries from a certain secret mission. I hadn't planned to continue using, but then was told me what happened: our other injured team mate - with whom I was close - didn't make it. It's all about survivor's guilt.)

They go to call my parents, and a certain celebrity psychiatrist - who I'd been seeing - but do so from a pay phone, just to play it safe. They flush my drugs before leaving.

Already jonesing (it could be hard to find a pay phone in Malibu), my 17 year old likeness is visited by several of my peers. One of them, my leading frenemy (to be played by you know who) - he's the one who stole my journal - has a bag of dope, but I'll only be allowed a hit if I agree to play truth or dare. The truth, of course, is what happened to me on set (during the making of this movie). The dare, of course, is to reenact it.

Cut back to the secret retreat. I confess where I'd been: at the death bed of a certain doctor, in LA - the man behind the dancing boys of Hollywood. I believed, naively, that I'd been summoned to hear an apology. It was nothing of the sort. He had, instead, a proposal. He wanted to leave me his empire, built on sex and drug trafficking, and worth billions. But it meant going to the dark side. I decline, returning to my life as a homeless undercover reporter, having just seen the face of evil. (His empire goes to my nemesis - a former member of our secret team, who sold us out on our first mission, leading to this one kid's death - and we'll be taking up more about him in the first film-only short, "Down and Out (in this place I currently live): A Dancing Boy Investigation." And I reveal my biggest secret: what happened, in hospital, at the hands of five members of an industry satanic cult.

Back to Malibu, where my former agent literally comes out of the closet, and catches me in a vulnerable position. I've violated the nda, but he's prepared to make me a deal: I get to continue using, but he'll be allowed to have his way with me until I turn 18. At the last minute, my allies swoop in, rescuing me and snatching the tape.

Back, again to the present day, where we narrow escape being burned or blown up by the bad guys - they're already aware that I've talked. Fortunately, there's a mirror site due north, where we go for the night. We'll be safe there, for now.

Blind Item #13 - The Dancing Boy - There Is A Picture

From a long ago friend of The Dancing Boy who got in touch with him after reading the blind.

I can confirm that I know the identity of the "dancing boy." He was a longtime childhood friend of mine, and I was the only one let in to visit him in the hospital back then. The studio people didn't really trust the parents, only his sister. She was one of those very Christian girls, selling no-sex-before-marriage in mega churches and on talk shows even before it was a thing. In fact, I think she pretty much helped to make it a thing. It was all bs of course, but he was afraid of her, and she kept him in line, which was what the producer and everyone wanted. You should've seen the letter she wrote him when he came out to her a couple years later. And because you know the world always seems to work in horrible and ironic ways, she went on to become known for her progressive activism. She founded a certain cause oriented mostly documentary film festival in the early 2000s annually visited by celebrities who want to up their profile on this issue (not LGBT or feminist, but people associated with it would be shocked by her past).

It's funny too because he actually went to high school with one of the _____________ (acting family siblings), and was thinking of confiding in the brother about some of his experiences in the business. At that time, the show was still on, and few people outside of it knew of his new interest in religion. So, my friend was pretty shocked when talking to him at a school party, and he started going off about Satan and being born again, and everything. It was like his sister all over again.

So, anyhow, I got in to see him in the hospital by pretending to be his sister. I was even able to smuggle in a point and shoot and take a picture so it wouldn't be forgotten. He looked so sad, bound to the bed, and groggy from whatever it was they were making him take. I'm actually a retired career Marine and I've seen some disturbing things, but this memory really left a mark on me. I've been keeping the negatives in a family safe deposit box since then, but a print of the picture is going to be made public in a documentary that I guess is going to be made alongside the movie. It's not all top secret or anything. I asked him.

PS Apparently there's a longstanding rumor that the studio has security camera footage of him running off the set in an on or off site vault. My friend believes one or more of them kept it for sick reasons.